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PenFed is excellent. I have my mortgage with them (4.625% 15 year fixed, $788.40 out-of-pocket for the refi of ~$175K) as well as their credit card - 5% back on gas, 2% on groceries, 1.25% on everything else, automatically credited on my monthly statement, with no minimums or maximums and no hassle.
Their rates are superb and usually the best or among the best. I have approximately 40 active credit cards from all the major issuers and the PenFed card is the one that's actually in my wallet.
They're a large, well-respected credit union.
I'd read up on their membership requirements. They won't ask for your father's or brother's information and they won't contact them or check their credit. It's basically an honor system. If you don't qualify through your father or brother, you can pay a one-time fee of $20 I think to join the National Military Family Association. Then once you're a member of PenFed you can drop the NMFA membership if you wish and still remain a customer of PenFed.
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"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough, and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact be the first steps of a journey." Violet Baudelaire.
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