Son just got let go...what to do next?

davebarnes said:
https://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/26/business/401-k-woes-when-a-company-goes-bankrupt-fair-game.html

"As the employees of one small company have learned, it can wreak financial havoc. They’ve gone nearly four years without access to their retirement savings."
Click to expand...

Another thing that can happen is that the plan administrator can up and quit, or die, or just disappear. That happened and was in progress at the company I worked for in a post-retirement job, and it took several lawyers and several thousand of the plan participant's dollars to gain access to their money. Evidently it takes the plan administrator's signature to do that and if there is no administrator, no access, and the company displayed no urgency in hiring a new one. And it can take quite a while to vet and employ a new plan administrator. At least that's the story I was told.

Needless to say, I did not participate in that company's 401k plan.

So while it doesn't happen often, it would be a mistake to think that one will always just have to fill out some paperwork to have quick & easy access to one's 401k funds. And it gives another good reason to take the money with you (roll it over) when you leave a company while it is still easy to do. Clearly, that can change in the future.
 
Been there

This happened to our youngest in 2009 when IBM moved his job from RTP in North Carolina to India. His choices were to relocate with his job (at local wages), or accept a lay-off/termination.

He took the lay-off and used the Severence Package to fund a two-year Pre-Med program. Which morphed into three years doing Neuro-Biology research, followed by Med School. He is now a Pathology Resident. From Computer Science to Pathology, and he will never need to worry about his job being "Off Shored" ever again.
 
Visited with my son yesterday. He was over the shock of being laid off. Basically his store and employees weren't hitting their numbers and he was held accountable. He got put on a performance plan a little while back. Had I known I would've told him that he was very unlikely to overcome that and he should start preparing to be let go. Basically it was a no-win situation. Pretty sure the manager before had also been let go, and the asst. manager had resigned so he had no experienced help, and I don't think the store is in a good location. I had never been in there before, and it is in the town I normally shop in. He knows not to badmouth them in an interview but this was a vent session.

Anyway, I asked whether he wanted advice, and he said sure, and that he'd let me know if I was giving too much. I advised him to get rolling on unemployment compensation and to talk to one of those ACA advisors someone mentioned earlier. I said he shouldn't worry about the stigma of being let go and should use his friends and relatives for networking. As far as what to do, that is really up to him and he mentioned some things at a high level. I think he's on a good path here and me hounding or herding him isn't the right thing to do.

He had cleaned his townhouse well yesterday, so he's not just moping around. We went for a run this morning and he said he's going to keep his $10/month Planet Fitness membership and try to use it or run daily. I'm a big believer that getting and staying in good shape helps you all around. He doesn't have to do marathons like I do (and he won't), but it would be good to be more active.

Financially he's got some money saved. He lives in a townhouse that I own (longer story behind that) so he's got no rent, and no car payment so he can live pretty lean, and plans to.
 
Thanks again for all the helpful advice in this thread.
 
Another tip, that I heeded: after the first couple of weeks where job hunt and networking was relatively intense, I then made sure that every day I would do at least one thing related to my job search. There cones a point where one has pretty much done every reasonable thing to land a new job. Committing to one thing a day had 2 benefits. Most important it continued the job search momentum. Almost as important though was not feeling guilty because I wasn't spending "all day" job hunting and getting stressed out.
 
Sounds like he is in a position where he can plan out his near term steps with a clear head and without financial pressures.

Maybe build off his chemistry degree, maybe use this for a total change of career direction. This has happened to many others and those who planned a future path were met with success.
 
RunningBum said:
Visited with my son yesterday. He was over the shock of being laid off. Basically his store and employees weren't hitting their numbers and he was held accountable. He got put on a performance plan a little while back. Had I known I would've told him that he was very unlikely to overcome that and he should start preparing to be let go. Basically it was a no-win situation. Pretty sure the manager before had also been let go, and the asst. manager had resigned so he had no experienced help, and I don't think the store is in a good location. I had never been in there before, and it is in the town I normally shop in. He knows not to badmouth them in an interview but this was a vent session.

Anyway, I asked whether he wanted advice, and he said sure, and that he'd let me know if I was giving too much. I advised him to get rolling on unemployment compensation and to talk to one of those ACA advisors someone mentioned earlier. I said he shouldn't worry about the stigma of being let go and should use his friends and relatives for networking. As far as what to do, that is really up to him and he mentioned some things at a high level. I think he's on a good path here and me hounding or herding him isn't the right thing to do.

He had cleaned his townhouse well yesterday, so he's not just moping around. We went for a run this morning and he said he's going to keep his $10/month Planet Fitness membership and try to use it or run daily. I'm a big believer that getting and staying in good shape helps you all around. He doesn't have to do marathons like I do (and he won't), but it would be good to be more active.

Financially he's got some money saved. He lives in a townhouse that I own (longer story behind that) so he's got no rent, and no car payment so he can live pretty lean, and plans to.
Click to expand...

Sounds like an overall positive update. Keep us posted.
 
RunningBum said:
Visited with my son yesterday. He was over the shock of being laid off. Basically his store and employees weren't hitting their numbers and he was held accountable. He got put on a performance plan a little while back. Had I known I would've told him that he was very unlikely to overcome that and he should start preparing to be let go. Basically it was a no-win situation. Pretty sure the manager before had also been let go, and the asst. manager had resigned so he had no experienced help, and I don't think the store is in a good location. I had never been in there before, and it is in the town I normally shop in. He knows not to badmouth them in an interview but this was a vent session.

Anyway, I asked whether he wanted advice, and he said sure, and that he'd let me know if I was giving too much. I advised him to get rolling on unemployment compensation and to talk to one of those ACA advisors someone mentioned earlier. I said he shouldn't worry about the stigma of being let go and should use his friends and relatives for networking. As far as what to do, that is really up to him and he mentioned some things at a high level. I think he's on a good path here and me hounding or herding him isn't the right thing to do.

He had cleaned his townhouse well yesterday, so he's not just moping around. We went for a run this morning and he said he's going to keep his $10/month Planet Fitness membership and try to use it or run daily. I'm a big believer that getting and staying in good shape helps you all around. He doesn't have to do marathons like I do (and he won't), but it would be good to be more active.

Financially he's got some money saved. He lives in a townhouse that I own (longer story behind that) so he's got no rent, and no car payment so he can live pretty lean, and plans to.
Click to expand...
Does he pay anything toward the cost of the such as the taxes? Are you planning on subsiding his housing costs indefinitely?
 
ivinsfan said:
Does he pay anything toward the cost of the such as the taxes? Are you planning on subsiding his housing costs indefinitely?
Click to expand...
That's our business. It will not change while he's unemployed unless he moves, so I don't see how it has anything to do with this situation.
 
I think most of us have lost jobs at some point and it’s stressful. When younger a few of my kids ended up moving home after job loss to get on their feet. I hope things turn out well for him.
 
If you think he could use some help with interviewing or resume writing, suggest that he take a look at the Ask A Manager blog for some tips. https://www.askamanager.org/

I've found that her advice on cover letters and resumes is particularly good, and I've recommended her site to my own daughter as well. Sometimes hearing or reading advice from a neutral 3rd party makes it more palatable than when a parent says exactly the same thing.
 
COcheesehead said:
My advice and to not give him any advice. These are the times when we learn the greatest lessons...on our own.
Click to expand...

+1.

I have watched my MIL micromanage her children. The older one is 50 and incapable of surviving on her own and thus MIL continues to "help" financially and ANY time there is a crisis (which is frequently). It's sad to watch. You might say "oh he's young we'll let go in future." That's like timing the stock market. Now is the time to let go. Maybe some help with questions HE should be asking but let him find the places to ask the questions and the answers to those questions. The answers might not be what you would give but that's part of not micromanaging one's child. Let them breath a little. At least this is my plan but my kids are a little younger so my great plans may be thwarted by life. We shall see. Good luck to him!
 
Well, that's all fine and good to let him go at it on his own and learn from his mistakes, but I'll be damned if I'm going to watch him lose health insurance and have a major illness or accident destroy him, or have to step in then to keep him alive and healthy. You want to do that with your kid, that's fine. I'm not. End of story.

From our talk he wasn't going to let that happen but I nudged him to that health care navigator that I didn't even know about before someone posted it.

Unemployment compensation is less urgent but I'm not going to let a friend or family member overlook money like this.

Earlier today I emailed my neighbors (many of whom have their second homes up here) that the could pre-enroll for fiber optic internet service and save the $100 installation fee. I could let them learn on their own but they appreciate the heads up. This is similar to the UC benefit.

I think he would've been disappointed if I didn't offer a little advice. I'm done now unless he asks for more, but I will be asking how things are going.

I heard and heeded the cautions against doing too much for him. Probably everyone draws the line in a different place, and that's fine. I think we're all in agreement that there should be a line somewhere. I'm content with where I've drawn my line.
 
RunningBum said:
That's our business. It will not change while he's unemployed unless he moves, so I don't see how it has anything to do with this situation.
Click to expand...

Only if it impacts his ability to look for and hold down a living wage job. Each family and kid is different and for different reasons. I agree it's all well and good for everyone to say let him figure it out himself, it will be good for him and a learning experience but some families have kids that need a more hands on approach for valid reasons. Those kids need a different approach and that's not coddling or enabling it just is.
 
ivinsfan said:
Only if it impacts his ability to look for and hold down a living wage job.
Click to expand...
Fair enough. Admittedly the townhouse is kind of golden handcuffs, but he's also told me a few times he'd like to move out west. I've given him no indication that I'll help him in any way with lodging after this and I don't think he expects it. Most of the jobs he's been applying for have been out of town. So he seems ready and willing to break any shackles.
 
We asked our parents advice when young and our kids did the same. Like RB I share things with friends that might help so why not with adult children? That’s a big difference between advice and enabling. 2 years ago my DIL had a baseball size tumor in her brain around the stem. Despite being 39 and 44 they came over a lot to discuss things leading up to the surgery. Her parents live in Poland and she didn’t share until about a month after she got the news. They needed to process the situation with us and we were so glad we could help.
 
RunningBum said:
Fair enough. Admittedly the townhouse is kind of golden handcuffs, but he's also told me a few times he'd like to move out west. I've given him no indication that I'll help him in any way with lodging after this and I don't think he expects it. Most of the jobs he's been applying for have been out of town. So he seems ready and willing to break any shackles.
Click to expand...

Hardly a shackle..:LOL:your boy is verifying all the comments on another thread about performance plan reviews not being anything except an early layoff notice. Retail is a tough climate.
 
For some, loosing a job can be an opportunity. Grab it and move forward.
 
What about teaching? A year in an elementary/middle school. Gives him time to think about what's down the road and start planning?

Mike
 
When I graduated from university I went into a career stream that I eventually came to dislike.

In my late 20's I had two choices. Continue working in a job that I disliked, in a profession that I disliked, or find another job/career.

The thought of spending another 25 years doing what I was then doing was beyond the pale.

So, I switched careers completely. I ended up spending a 30 plus year career in a job and in an industry that I loved. And it was very financially rewarding.

Your son needs to decide if retail is for him. If not, get out and do something else. But think about this. The writing is on the wall for retailing. Just do some basic research on the increase in on line sales and the financial failure of so many retail giants.

Your son need to find a job in a sector that he enjoys and that has growth potential. If not, he needs to go back to school or take some re-training. Life if too short to work for years at a job that you dislike or is insecure.
 
RunningBum said:
My son just called and told me he got let go from his job. I don't really know the details and it's nothing that would keep him from getting another job.

My main question is, aside from looking for a new job (which he had been doing anyway, but now will be more motivated) or possibly go back to school, what all should he be doing?

My thoughts:

0) Keep his head up and realize stuff happens, and not to take it personally. Have a short pity party and move on. He wanted out of there anyway (he was in retail) so this will probably turn out to be a good kick in a better direction.

1) Get on ACA. He loses the medical insurance he had through work. He'll probably come out better since he'll get a subsidy and was paying a good chunk for mediocre health care before. Any rules on how quickly he can do this?

2) File for unemployment compensation. Any rules here? He's already applying for jobs and will certainly be actively working.

Less urgently:

3) Move his 401K over to Vanguard. He had reviewed his investment options with me a couple years ago and I don't recall any especially good investment choices.

4) If this turns into a low income year we'll look at converting that 401K/IRA to a Roth, at least partially.

Any other advice? What are the best job seeking sites these days?
Click to expand...

Here are job search tips given to me many years ago and I find these to be the holy grail of job searching:

1) Update linked in profile
2) have 2 people proof read your resume
3) every week meet 2 people for coffee/lunch for networking purposes
4) create an internal resume which includes additional sections
4a) create a section which lists prospective job titles to search for (example- I can manage projects, be a software architect or be a business analyst). Write a generic profile of the job descriptions/roles responsibilities of each job I could consider taking).
4b) create a section which lists specific companies which need the skill- try to make this section 20+ employers long. (for example, I know a specific PLM tool well, and my list would include key customers which use the tool, and authorized resellers of the PLM tool).

Each week:
1) contact someone on linked in which matches job description in 4a
2) contact 10 employers listed in 4b
3) have lunch or coffee with 2 people

What I found was this:
1) every time I found a job since 2013 it was based on someone I met while at my previous job (so in 2013 my employer was based on someone I met in 2006, in 2014 it was based on who I met in 2013, in 2015 it was based on same search in 2013). The networking thing pays dividends. My eyes were always open to other job titles people had which did similar work as myself.

2) Resumes are online forever, get a google VOIP and use that number on all resumes (so I can cancel number if not looking for a job).

3) create a job specific email, so job searches and recruiters do not have my private email address.

4) create a resume for each city a person wants to work in- I have a Colorado resume on a specific job board because I want to move there- I can create a Colorado VOIP for same search. recruiters tend to search based on state when sourcing.

5) It is easier to find a job when already employed- so after 2 months it is better to take lesser employment and keep looking that wait for something perfect. This can lead to job hopping, so remember greener grass has more manure. Working for a temp agency or job shop is a good way to bridge the gap, and owning a small business can also bridge the gap (that small business covers a few time holes in my resume).

6) use vague dates on resume- at one point I formatted my resume as the projects I worked on, not the employer names to mask some gaps in the timeline- until I got to point where I just removed dates altogether.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

M
Gift or bridge loan for son house purchase
Replies
2
Views
394
mf15
M
V
Gambling losses vs contractor fraud - tax loss harvesting?
Replies
6
Views
756
Aerides
Aerides
R
College Resident Assistantship(RA) and filing 2023 1040 tax form
Replies
0
Views
226
retire2020
R
J
Need Advice for Stepbrother
2
Replies
43
Views
3K
ncbill
N
C
Do any of you cut it really close in easy retirement?
2 3 4
Replies
87
Views
8K
Koolau
Koolau

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom