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Old 08-17-2009, 09:04 AM   #21
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No sympathy here either. She could make changes in her life, but CHOOSES not to do so because of "appearances". Screw appearances. She's facing possible financial ruin and she's worried about what people might think?!?
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:47 AM   #22
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In the following photo gallery, she was quoted as saying "I can ride this storm out". Perhaps she is optimistic that her employer will resume giving out big bonus checks? Perhaps a white knight will come to her rescue? Anyway, she does realize that the RE market is tough for her to get out now, so is hoping for a rebound so she can sell?

They might have been living right at the level of their means, but the immediate cause of her predicament was the divorce. She might have done better if she was able to give up the "appearances".

A Tight Grip on the Good Life - washingtonpost.com
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:50 AM   #23
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No sympathy here either. She could make changes in her life, but CHOOSES not to do so because of "appearances". Screw appearances. She's facing possible financial ruin and she's worried about what people might think?!?
I used to feel this way, but finally came to realize that it is as hard for these people to quit worrying about what others think as it is for a alcoholic to quit drinking or the average American to reduce caloric intake. OK, maybe not quite as hard.

I still think it is a stupid position for her to take, but I thank my parents, environment, genes, teachers and whatever else was involved that I do not have the problem of worrying what others think.

My point, I sympathize she has this problem, although it is still hers to fix, not mine.
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:08 AM   #24
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Can't move or does not want to move?

126 houses in her town listed on Realtor.Com for less than $500,000.

247 houses within 1 mile of hers listed on Realtor.Com for less than $500,000.

716 houses within 5 miles of hers listed on Realtor.Com for less than $500,000.

52 house within 5 miles for less than $300,000.

Of course, these are not on acreage, and are less than 4000 SF.
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:12 AM   #25
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Here I am hanging out with the celebrities attracted to my shades:
And, I think they make you look more than 10 years younger!
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Old 08-17-2009, 11:06 AM   #26
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According to the US census, the median income for a household in the village was $100,681, and the median income for a family was $118,721.
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You would think 300k would be easy even without leaving town.
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Old 08-17-2009, 11:35 AM   #27
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from the picture link...Steins's lifestyle was built on the premise of two incomes, not the single paycheck of a divorced mother of three in a recession.

I personally understand what happens when 2 incomes become 1, and I know some of you out there do too.
Life is all about adaption to black swan events. Ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away.

No preaching here...but times have changed for this lady. She knows it, but she is not facing it square on. I'm seeing a huge sidestep.
This fact..."vice president at MasterCard's corporate office"...tells me she's no dummy.
I think I figured out why she did the article. Culture's remark about "worrying about what others think" gave me a clue.
"Breaking ranks" is an almost guaranteed path to alienation from the social circle. In a nationally read newspaper, no less. Hmmmmm...the square peg is not fitting into the round hole.
It may be a last ditch attempt to get some help to quiet things down, before she sells and leaves the neighborhood.
Any other guesses?
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Old 08-17-2009, 11:40 AM   #28
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I don't understand why she had to make noise. Why not just leave quietly? But then, I am a private person, and even posting anonymously here was a huge step for me.
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Old 08-17-2009, 11:49 AM   #29
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It seems to me that a large part of her motivation is to keep the affluent lifestlye for her kids. Whether that is practical or reasonable seems much less important to her. Perhaps this reflects her own experiences growing up as a child of affluent parents who lived in a big house herself. If so, she is setting her kids up for the same disconnect between means and expectations that she herself is experiencing.
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Old 08-17-2009, 12:58 PM   #30
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This fact..."vice president at MasterCard's corporate office"...tells me she's no dummy.
Is Master Card like a bank, where everybody is either a VP or assistant VP? (am asking, not questioning).
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Old 08-17-2009, 01:09 PM   #31
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Interesting idea. I don't know for sure about MasterCard, but I did a quick look at LinkedIn and found 10 VP titles among the 21 people I found who worked at MasterCard. Seems like there are VPs for lots of specific business areas and regions.
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Old 08-17-2009, 03:29 PM   #32
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I, too, wonder about Ms. Steins motivations in going public. She is an intelligent woman, does she not think that people will have a hard time having a pity party for her while living as she does? It makes her look foolish and I feel sorry for her children as there will certainly be "talk" in school with such a splashy format for her/their predicament. And I agree with an earlier poster that it is not what you earn, but what you do with what you have.
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Old 08-17-2009, 03:54 PM   #33
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The statement that got me was
Quote:
As a vice president at MasterCard's corporate office in Purchase, N.Y., she earns a base pay of $150,000 plus a bonus. This year she'll take home 10 percent less because of a smaller bonus. She receives $75,000 a year in child support from her ex-husband. She figures she will pull an additional $50,000 from a personal investment account to "pick up the slack."
.
So, she is earning 250K and having to make up the 50K differerence. That was the part that I thought was interesting. She not squeaking by, she is living above her means.
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Old 08-17-2009, 03:59 PM   #34
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It used to be that the highest manager at a branch office of a bank, any of those at street corners, had the title of VP. I don't know if that is true anymore. Her salary of $150K would be OK for most locations in the US, but not enough for that lifestyle where she is.
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Old 08-18-2009, 03:42 AM   #35
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I feel sorry for her on one level. Rather than give up her entire former life with the divorce, she's trying to retain as much as possible. I certainly understand that.

But the simple fact is she can't afford it. And the sooner she comes to terms with that the better off she'll be.


I saw similar behavior from my SIL when she divorced - in her case it wasn't about keeping an expensive home, it was trying to remain a stay-at-home mom even though it was obviously no longer workable. It was as if she viewed that aspect of her life as non-negotiable, and simply refused to give it up along with her husband.
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Old 08-18-2009, 09:37 AM   #36
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For people who are the subject of this kind of public exposure, isn't there some professional risk as well. For Mr Andrews the NYT financial reporter, not only did he expose his own poor financial judgment, but he also got caught selectively putting spin on an incomplete story, tarnishing his journalistic reputation. For Ms Steins as a VP at MasterCard should she be concerned that such a public display of poor financial decision making could reflect on her professional judgment as well. I don't know the nature of her job, but if she were to make a professional presentation or recommendation about services MasterCard offers I would think her audience would be more likely to dismiss her as the "lady who cannot manage her own finances" after this publicity.
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Old 08-18-2009, 10:53 AM   #37
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Call me cynical, but I'm hearing a canary singing in a neighborhood that might have things they don't want made public. Remember her neighborhood is full of Wall St and financial types, among others.
Either that or it is a parting shot at her ex or the whole society (divorce is very gauche) or just plain desperation. Her mental load must be overwhelming.
I agree this will affect her professional career in ways she may not have counted on.
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Old 08-18-2009, 11:50 AM   #38
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For people who are the subject of this kind of public exposure, isn't there some professional risk as well. For Mr Andrews the NYT financial reporter, not only did he expose his own poor financial judgment, but he also got caught selectively putting spin on an incomplete story, tarnishing his journalistic reputation. For Ms Steins as a VP at MasterCard should she be concerned that such a public display of poor financial decision making could reflect on her professional judgment as well. I don't know the nature of her job, but if she were to make a professional presentation or recommendation about services MasterCard offers I would think her audience would be more likely to dismiss her as the "lady who cannot manage her own finances" after this publicity.

This is kinda what I was thinking.... she is not as bad as Andrew as she has not lied to get a loan, but she is in that she is living above her means which calls into question her decision making ability IMO...
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Old 08-18-2009, 11:52 AM   #39
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I also think that maybe SHE thinks that she will meet someone who will be that second income.... and all will be good in the world... if she moves and changes her lifestyle, how can she meet the 'right' guy
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Old 08-18-2009, 02:45 PM   #40
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I feel sorry for her on one level. Rather than give up her entire former life with the divorce, she's trying to retain as much as possible. I certainly understand that.

But the simple fact is she can't afford it. And the sooner she comes to terms with that the better off she'll be.


I saw similar behavior from my SIL when she divorced - in her case it wasn't about keeping an expensive home, it was trying to remain a stay-at-home mom even though it was obviously no longer workable. It was as if she viewed that aspect of her life as non-negotiable, and simply refused to give it up along with her husband.
You can't force someone to wake up and see the truth. Yes, I know that "truth" is relative, but if most people see something in a similar way, there may be some merit to their perspective. Over the years, I've given advice to several members of my family, most of which was pretty much ignored. I can only imagine how much better their lives would be if they had actually listened to me. Instead, they're facing the same problems today, or worse ones after compounding their original problems with more bad decisions.

In this woman's case, I'd recommend getting rid of the nanny, the gardener and the pool care service. Her eldest child is old enough to perform chores around the house, which may include making lunches for everyone, babysitting his younger siblings, mowing the lawn, cleaning the pool, etc.... At the very least, the mother could hire kids from less than affluent families at a fraction of the cost of a professional. By my calculations, she could save at least $75,000 by cutting back on a few strategic items. She wouldn't have to move, but she might need to put up with a few people looking down on her. Oh the horror.
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