Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 08-18-2009, 03:58 PM   #41
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
FIRE'd@51's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,322
Well, this may not popular here, but I actually have some sympathy for her. The reason she is where she is today is because of her divorce. BTW, her marriage was probably the reason she lives where she does in the first place. The article didn't say much about her ex-husband. Maybe he was the big-earner and could afford their lifestyle with his income alone. Who can blame her for not wanting to sell her house in this market?

Having said that, I don't know why she would want to air her financial situation in the Washington Post. One can only speculate about that. But I give her credit for not publicly discussing the details of her divorce, or her former husband's financial situation. Divorce is the number one cause of most financial hardships. There are plenty of dual income couples (maybe even a few on this board) who couldn't live where they live now if they were to divorce. Heck, there are quite a few "ER's" here whose spouses still work. Maybe they wouldn't be ER'd if they didn't have a working spouse.
__________________

__________________
I'd rather be governed by the first one hundred names in the telephone book than the Harvard faculty - William F. Buckley
FIRE'd@51 is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 08-18-2009, 04:02 PM   #42
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay_Gatsby View Post
No sympathy here either. She could make changes in her life, but CHOOSES not to do so because of "appearances". Screw appearances. She's facing possible financial ruin and she's worried about what people might think?!?
Do you remember reading about men who engaged in lethal duels over some slight? We are in an unusual age when many people don't care if they look like swine or seem like homeless people or have only the vaguest clue if any what many common English words mean.

People on this board sometimes brag that they spend $22.95 or some such on a year's clothing. I don't want to take a position either way, but all of mammalian social life argues that appearances do matter. Social position is a powerful determinant of mental and physical health, though clearly not for everyone.

Ha
__________________

__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2009, 05:35 PM   #43
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, PA suburbs
Posts: 1,769
Like a few other posters here, I DO feel sympathy for this lady, and also for the family in Elkhart, and even the NYT's reporter. Lord knows, I have made my share of foolish choices and emotional decisions, but I would be loathe to publish them in the newspapers. I do think this article might harm Ms. Steins professionally and also embarrass her children.
__________________
WhoDaresWins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2009, 07:39 PM   #44
Moderator
Sarah in SC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,457
Ha, I think the powerful urge to belong still affects us on this board, because otherwise we would not want to seek out our good friends here on the board.
Even if we don't bond over fashion or other luxury goods, we do have strong feelings about fitting in and belonging to a social order.
And hey, I prefer to look disheveled rather than outright homeless, anyway. Sheesh!
__________________
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way

Sarah in SC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2009, 07:56 PM   #45
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
freebird5825's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,017
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
Do you remember reading about men who engaged in lethal duels over some slight? We are in an unusual age when many people don't care if they look like swine or seem like homeless people or have only the vaguest clue if any what many common English words mean.

People on this board sometimes brag that they spend $22.95 or some such on a years clothing. I don't want to take a position either way, but all of mammalian social life argues that appearances do matter. Social position is a powerful derterminant of mental and physical health, though clearly not for everyone.

Ha
I can see you've been to WalMart lately.

Social position never meant much to me because I never had it. I never really sought it. The best I can claim as far as social status went is the degree, the j*b, the inventor status, and the independent female persona.
Now that I'm FIREd, I left that all behind. I continue to dress well, keep up my appearance , stay active socially, and do some exploration of areas I never had the chance to before.

I agree that respect from one's social community is very important for mental health, as long as it does not become the sole driver in one's life.

Maybe I'm the oddball, but my direct observation of people who allow their social status to govern their lives are definitely not happy.
Their body language gives that away - always checking to see who is saying what, who is wearing what, who is talking to who. Their faces are intent, unsmiling and their eye movements darting. Do some people watching some time in a higher social environment. It is amazing.
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
freebird5825 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2009, 08:00 PM   #46
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,620
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post
Ha, I think the powerful urge to belong still affects us on this board..., because otherwise we would not want to seek out our good friends here on the board.
Even if we don't bond over fashion or other luxury goods, we do have strong feelings about fitting in and belonging to a social order.
And hey, I prefer to look disheveled rather than outright homeless, anyway. Sheesh!
So... you'd want to belong in the same category as Bob Dylan?
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2009, 09:08 PM   #47
Moderator
Sarah in SC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,457
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords View Post
So... you'd want to belong in the same category as Bob Dylan?
Well, at least when I sing, you can understand the words!
__________________
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way

Sarah in SC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2009, 09:31 PM   #48
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,627
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post
Ha, I think the powerful urge to belong still affects us on this board, because otherwise we would not want to seek out our good friends here on the board.
This is the Internet, so I thought we were all dogs who came here to sniff each others butts.
__________________
LOL! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2009, 12:17 AM   #49
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by quietman View Post
Well, if she's planning to use eHarmony, or some other way to marry herself out of this mess, she will need to find a mate with either: $300,000+ income and no house or lifestyle of his own to support so he can support hers, or someone so asset rich that he can buy her out of this mess. Those kinds of guys are not likely to be jumping into relationships with middle aged single moms (in debt, with a proven affinity for spending more money than they have) when they can be choosing from the usual golddiggers, aspiring actresses and future trophy wives.
For guys in those circumstances, it is better to rent than own : Paul McCartney
__________________
atlas888 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2009, 12:44 AM   #50
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Spanky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 4,046
Quote:
Originally Posted by atlas888 View Post
For guys in those circumstances, it is better to rent than own : Paul McCartney
How much rent is he paying? It must be huge?
__________________
May we live in peace and harmony and be free from all human sufferings.
Spanky is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2009, 12:48 AM   #51
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Spanky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 4,046
Quote:
Social position never meant much to me because I never had it. I never really sought it.
Agreed - since social status or power is impermanent, clinging on to it is suffering.
__________________
May we live in peace and harmony and be free from all human sufferings.
Spanky is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2009, 08:56 AM   #52
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 160
Quote:
since social status or power is impermanent, clinging on to it is suffering.
She's certainly trying to cling on to a lifestyle and a house that are no longer within her means. But by airing her financial mess in public, I think she does permanent damage to her social status - especially in the circles she seems to want to associate with. On the other hand, maybe that was what she intended and she's willing to take the hit for the chance to indirectly tarnish her ex at the same time. He's barely mentioned, but folks who know him must be aware of the article and her current financial distress.
__________________
quietman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2009, 10:13 AM   #53
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Spanky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 4,046
Quote:
Originally Posted by quietman View Post
On the other hand, maybe that was what she intended and she's willing to take the hit for the chance to indirectly tarnish her ex at the same time. He's barely mentioned, but folks who know him must be aware of the article and her current financial distress.
It would hard to tarnish him since he is paying $75K in child support.
__________________

__________________
May we live in peace and harmony and be free from all human sufferings.
Spanky is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
And I thought that 750,000,000,000 was a big # !!! mickeyd Other topics 0 09-27-2008 02:44 PM
Don't forget to claim your part of the $10,000,000,000 refund mickeyd FIRE and Money 1 12-26-2006 01:58 PM
$2,000,000,000,000- Happy 55th mickeyd Other topics 12 12-28-2004 09:19 AM
what are some ways i could put 300,000.00 *to work zuki FIRE and Money 9 03-16-2004 05:12 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:27 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.