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Old 07-31-2014, 05:49 PM   #121
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meierlde, did you see this article about that? Fascinating reading, and terrifying to think!
Taken - The New Yorker
Wow, it is a very long article but worth a read. I can't believe this is still happening in anywhere USA. It's something out of black and white TV era. Greed, stupidity, and misguided righteousness ....
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Old 07-31-2014, 05:58 PM   #122
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The reward of doing a kind deed for somebody (even though financially, they might not have needed it) was probably worth far more to her than any payback.

Just pay it forward to somebody else you might see in need someday
+1
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Old 07-31-2014, 06:13 PM   #123
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Ditto with my DW. She's doesn't have much interest in financial matters and I handle the investment accounts and day to day bills, etc. When she asked me casually a while back how are we doing (financially), I said we have enough to "make it to 90"....and that was good enough for her.

I don't want to bring up the word "millionaire" as it may give her incentive to spread that around the family, and I don't want to give the impression we are in that category. I prefer stealth mode... We have some family members that are financial train wrecks and don't want the attention brought here. DW has a millionaire sister and brother who run that front.
Wow, I'm surprised that two folks have posted in this thread that their wives don't know the family financial status. I find that very disturbing for all kinds of reasons.

Glad we have counseled our kids to make financial compatibility a very important factor in choosing their life partners.
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Old 07-31-2014, 06:22 PM   #124
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Wow, I'm surprised that two folks have posted in this thread that their wives don't know the family financial status. I find that very disturbing for all kinds of reasons.
DW just don't care and I think that is odd. So, time to time, I force feed her our financial situation. The only time she cared was that two of our brokerage accounts were under my name only as I was too lazy to fill out spouse information when I opened them years ago. I corrected it quickly after DW gave me an evil look.
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Old 07-31-2014, 06:31 PM   #125
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DW just don't care and I think that is odd. So, time to time, I force feed her our financial situation...........
Ditto. All DW wants to know is if we are OK. Beyond that, glazed eyes. She has a "if I kick off suddenly" letter that explains it all.
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Old 07-31-2014, 06:36 PM   #126
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Wow, I'm surprised that two folks have posted in this thread that their wives don't know the family financial status. I find that very disturbing for all kinds of reasons.

Glad we have counseled our kids to make financial compatibility a very important factor in choosing their life partners.
You jump to WAY too many conclusions. DW and I are quite compatible, financially and otherwise. We are both LBYM, but she is more frugal than I. She knows we are well off as we live on the water and are retired early. She just doesn't have interest in the details and trusts that I am on top of it.

My comment on regretting when she finds out was not that I think she would want to split if she knew, but more than she might accelerate spending. 32 years today so we must be doing something right.

If DW asked, I would not withhold anything, but she just isn't interested. My mom is the same way, she trusted dad to take care of those things just like she trusts me to now that dad is gone.
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Old 07-31-2014, 06:46 PM   #127
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pb4uski - Some marriages are built on higher level of trust when it comes to finances. Mine is like yours. We trust each other completely when it comes to finances. In our case, we built our wealth together starting with near $0 balance some 28 years ago. Although I have been the sole wage earner for the last 14 years, it is OUR wealth. If divorce is in our card (very unlikely) in the future, it's 50-50 and she knows it.
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Old 07-31-2014, 08:59 PM   #128
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Wow, I'm surprised that two folks have posted in this thread that their wives don't know the family financial status. I find that very disturbing for all kinds of reasons.

Glad we have counseled our kids to make financial compatibility a very important factor in choosing their life partners.
I hope your children make good choices for their life's partners now that the important factors are established!

I never said DW "doesn't know our family financial status"..........Like others in this situation, over the years, I have tried to involve DW with all the details. She is not interested in our AA, strategy, or why I chose certain funds over others, or the half dozen detailed spreadsheets I play with, etc. Knowing our "number" is not important to either of us and quite frankly, I couldn't tell anyone what it is within 10% at any given time.

She trusts me implicitly and that's good enough for her. She has access to all the accounts and records and a strategy is lined out for her in writing if I pass first. We live frugally and have routine budget/spending talks to stay on course.

Actually, I married her for her other great qualities.
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Old 07-31-2014, 09:15 PM   #129
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The article reports that North Carolina is the only state to have banned the practice! Now, if they could just figure out how to reduce the 7.5 percent income tax, I might decide not to move after all.

Oh, and if all states went the way of Colorado, this would cure itself.
Max NC income tax dropped to 5.8% in January, 2014.
Enough people live here already.
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Old 07-31-2014, 10:04 PM   #130
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Reminds me of the story of the four Texans bragging about how many hundreds of acres of land they owned.

The last guy said that he only owned ten acres.....in downtown Houston.
How ironic my secret is now exposed...on a stealth wealth thread.
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Old 08-01-2014, 08:24 AM   #131
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Now, if they could just figure out how to reduce the 7.5 percent income tax, I might decide not to move after all.
Max NC income tax dropped to 5.8% in January, 2014.
Would you rather pay 7.5% on 70K (2011 and before) or 5.8% on 100K (2014)?

Instead of calculating tax based on the Federal Taxable Income, in 2012 they changed the calculation to use the Federal Adjusted Gross Income, thereby adding to the taxable base amount.

So with a wave of the hand, they added $30K to my base state NC taxable income in both 2012 and 2013. And now, after running off with the money for two years, they all pat themselves on the back for how great it is to reduce the tax rate.
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Old 08-01-2014, 08:28 AM   #132
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pb4uski - Some marriages are built on higher level of trust when it comes to finances. Mine is like yours. We trust each other completely when it comes to finances. In our case, we built our wealth together starting with near $0 balance some 28 years ago. Although I have been the sole wage earner for the last 14 years, it is OUR wealth. If divorce is in our card (very unlikely) in the future, it's 50-50 and she knows it.
+1, but I had 60% me and 40% her more in mind.
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Old 08-01-2014, 09:01 AM   #133
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Would you rather pay 7.5% on 70K (2011 and before) or 5.8% on 100K (2014)?

Instead of calculating tax based on the Federal Taxable Income, in 2012 they changed the calculation to use the Federal Adjusted Gross Income, thereby adding to the taxable base amount.

So with a wave of the hand, they added $30K to my base state NC taxable income in both 2012 and 2013. And now, after running off with the money for two years, they all pat themselves on the back for how great it is to reduce the tax rate.
New York did something like this on a smaller scale back in the early 1990s when they had a fiscal crunch. They got rid of the personal exemption for yourself so they raised everyone's taxable income $1,000. The marginal tax rate most people paid was just under 8% at the time so that meant everyone had to pay about $79 more in state income taxes but the pols were able to boast in the next election how they did not raise the tax rates on anyone.
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Old 08-01-2014, 10:00 AM   #134
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+1, but I had 60% me and 40% her more in mind.
What I have in mind don't matter. DW spells alimony "a-l-l-m-o-n-e-y." I'd be lucky to get 50 - we are living in CA (dazed and confused about legal matters).
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Old 08-03-2014, 12:27 AM   #135
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On the flip side, I worked with a guy who always had at least $2,000 in cash in his wallet. Would often make a show of paying cash by whipping out a few $100's before he could 'find' a $20 dollar bill.

Sadly, it all the money he had in the world.
This. I associate poor people with having a lot of cash and paying in cash. My mostly poor in-laws operate on a mostly cash basis (although they all have checking accounts and/or debit cards). Sometimes I'll buy something for them online, and they don't bat an eye when they dig in their wallet for $500 in crisp $20's and fork it over to reimburse me. They tend to cash their paycheck and keep most or all of it in cash. The checking account is what you use to pay the power bill and cable bill, but you go shopping with cash.
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Old 08-03-2014, 09:56 AM   #136
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This. I associate poor people with having a lot of cash and paying in cash...........
I've noticed this, too, when I shop in a neighboring 'burb with more poor residents. It is ironic that I am paying 98% of full price with my Fido AmEx and they are paying 100%, with cash.
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Old 08-03-2014, 10:25 AM   #137
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This. I associate poor people with having a lot of cash and paying in cash. My mostly poor in-laws operate on a mostly cash basis (although they all have checking accounts and/or debit cards). Sometimes I'll buy something for them online, and they don't bat an eye when they dig in their wallet for $500 in crisp $20's and fork it over to reimburse me. They tend to cash their paycheck and keep most or all of it in cash. The checking account is what you use to pay the power bill and cable bill, but you go shopping with cash.
I'm one of the "poor" cash users. To me, there is a disconnect when using a credit card. I don't think of how much i'm spending if i'm just handing over a card. If I use cash then I see how much i'm spending and it helps to keep my spending down. Works for me
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Old 08-03-2014, 10:38 AM   #138
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I'm one of the "poor" cash users. To me, there is a disconnect when using a credit card. I don't think of how much i'm spending if i'm just handing over a card. If I use cash then I see how much i'm spending and it helps to keep my spending down. Works for me

I used to be that way, and still have to have a $100-$200 in my wallet or I feel uneasy. But with that being said, about 4 years ago, I converted to using my cash back credit card to purchase all my monthly expenses incurred and then pay it all off at end of the month. I mentally deduct each purchase from my checking account. I am not an over zealous person in this regard on getting cash back, but it is amazing how it still adds up. My dishwasher went out on me last winter I paid for it with my accrued cash back money. Already I have about $300 built back up. I'm about ready to need a new washer and I will let the credit card cash pay for it soon too. Many people here do way better at me than this. I should be more aggressive with it as it is easy money once you get over the initial phase of not trusting yourself.


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Old 08-03-2014, 10:56 AM   #139
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Luxury car dealers will tell you that nowadays, the guy with the jean shorts, T shirt, flip flops and baseball cap is the one that will drop $120K on a car and pay cash. (no, not a drug dealer either)
And car dealerships are NOT impressed by someone paying cash. They much prefer someone financing through them! Money (in their pockets) talks!
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Old 08-03-2014, 11:05 AM   #140
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To me, there is a disconnect when using a credit card. I don't think of how much i'm spending if i'm just handing over a card.
That can happen and, in fact, my DW readily admits to being less thoughtful about purchases when she's using the CC. She's gotten much better but we still have her carry significant cash when she's out with the girls visiting quilt shops, antique stores, various boutiques, etc. Even if she has several hundred bux in her purse, she's quite the throughtful and schrewd shopper. With the CC, a bit less.

I tend to be the opposite. Say I'm sitting down at the pub for a couple cold ones on a hot afternoon. I put a twenty on the bar from which the bartender makes change as I order drinks. 3 - 4 pints later, I leave without much consideration for the remainder which becomes the bartenders tip. If I'm short on cash and tell the bartender I'll be running a tab and paying by CC, I'm keenly aware of how much I'm spending as I go along and at tip time, calculate an appropriate amount to add on thoughtfully.

I guess whether you're more "money careful" with cash or with CC depends on the person.......
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