Stealth Wealth Moment

[LOL!]

I was reminded of this short film by this thread:

Apologies if you have seen it before.

 

[robnplunder]

I never get mistaken for the help, and I don't get snubbed in stores. Even my small, cheap car doesn't seem to fool anybody.

I used to, though, when younger. In fact, when I was 20, a store owner accused me of stealing a sterling silver necklace I'd left with him on layaway (anyone remember layaway?) He reduced me to tears, and when he finally located the piece, which he'd naturally misplaced, he was so ashamed of himself (I think) that he wouldn't apologize.

Amethyst

Some people are born with a natural aura of "I am somebody."

What? He didn't commit seppuku?

 

[robnplunder]

Weird. Maybe stop wearing those corporate polo shirts with khakis.

I think that's it. That's what I normally wear on weekdays. And my unassuming, lackluster face does not help.

 

[eta2020]

As a European I hate to say it but you will experience those moments more likely in Europe. Likelihood will increase if you are not white. Likelihood will again increase further you go to eastern part of Europe.

God Bless "Melting Pot" Good old USA . You have it easy guys.

 

[banister]

Dumb question, but how do you get insurance money, rather than getting your car fixed? I've never been offered that opportunity, unless the car got totaled and they paid out. Otherwise, it would always be a matter of take it to the body shop, they fix it, and the insurance handles it. I've never been offered the opportunity of getting the cash instead.

Back in 2006, I got rear-ended in my old '85 Silverado, by a 2000 Infiniti I30 or something like that...the Infiniti Maxima, basically. I'm sure it totaled the Infiniti. Here's what it did to my truck...

It didn't even bend the bumper itself, but rather the brackets behind it. In total, it was $450 to fix, which ended up including a new bumper, brackets, and I think they replaced the license plate lights as well.

Honestly, I would've rather had the $450. But then again, maybe not. I got rear-ended again, a month later, by a 2001 Hyundai Elantra. That time, it just curled one edge of the bumper, but didn't hurt the brackets. I guess it's possible though, that if I hadn't had a new bumper and brackets put on from the prior crash, the second crash might have done a bit more damage.

I didn't even feel the second crash, though. I was in a traffic jam, let my foot off the brake to coast forward a few feet, and then stopped again. Looked in my rear view mirror and saw a Hyundai wedged up under my bumper. Driver had tried to make a lane change just a bit too close.

Was this by chance on Rte 198?

 

[fh2000]

Few years ago, I went to lower Manhattan for a week-long training for the latest software version. It cost a bundle for the company, and I had a good time sight-seeing at night.

Training classroom is in a high rise secured building. There were security guards at the entrance and we have to swipe the cards to enter.

The first day, during lunch hour, I went out and bought Chinese take-out. On my way in before I took out my badge, the guard pointed out the freight elevator and told me to go there instead . I did not think too much of it and simply went in. I later realized, he thought that I was the take-out delivery man being a 50+ Asian man myself and I did not wear suit like the rest of the workers in that building. I could be a delivery man or a janitor.

 

[robnplunder]

I went to Japan for two weeks on a SW development assignment. On weekend, I walked around different places and some Japanese thought I was manual laborer from 3rd world country.

But the highlight of my "stealth wealth" career was the day DS found out I was a millionaire. We sent him to a prep school and almost all of his friends' parents are multi-millionaires (a few are billionaires) living in pretty fancy neighborhood and houses. Comparing their houses & neighbors to our home, DS figured that we were living just ok. One day, DW and I were talking about RE and DS overheard. "Can you afford it?" is how he started. Once he found that we can, he said, "wow, I never knew." LBYM'ng and our effort to not spoil our only child, we have completely succeed in hiding our wealth (I mean a small one at that) from DS.

 

[splitwdw]

I'm usually taken for the help at garden nurseries. I know a lot of the local growers and when people see me talking to them just assume I work there.

 

[Amethyst]

I believe it is because I tend to look people straight in the eye and smile. As a young woman, I had to curb the tendency, because it got me attention I didn't want. Middle-age cured that problem.

The funny thing is, we are not wealthy. At any rate, we sure couldn't buy bunches of expensive German automobiles.

Amethyst

Some people are born with a natural aura of "I am somebody."

 

[EastWest Gal]

Nice truck. I don't know how I got a check but it's happened 3 times. Same thing my pickup(s) had a bent bumper, the other vehicles were totaled. Each time ~$500 check for a bent bumper from insurance. Each accident the person behind me didn't stop.

Sounds like a great deal, except I've had to spend months doing PT(old C-spine injury) as a result. I too started alerting other driver's when I saw traffic slowing down by tapping brakes.

I love this thread. This is a potpourri of experiences we are sharing. I went to UCLA for med school and spent many hours in LA traffic jams. Anyway, I long ago learned the tap the brake lights trick. I also give extra distance in front of me most of the time. Allows others to change lanes and gives me peace of mind. In a snowstorm in Virginia this technique prevented me from getting even bumped in a multicar pile-up in 2010. I used blinkers as well for this.


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[EastWest Gal]

I believe it is because I tend to look people straight in the eye and smile. As a young woman, I had to curb the tendency, because it got me attention I didn't want. Middle-age cured that problem.

The funny thing is, we are not wealthy. At any rate, we sure couldn't buy bunches of expensive German automobiles.

Amethyst

You have more wealth BECAUSE you won 't buy a bunch of expensive German automobiles.


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[Walt34]

I too started alerting other driver's when I saw traffic slowing down by tapping brakes.

This is taught on day one in motorcycle riding school. Since motorcycles have a high power-to-weight ratio they can also usually slow down quickly using engine compression alone. In normal riding I don't touch the brakes and then only lightly until I'm down to second gear. But when downshifting I'll tap and hold the front brake lever just enough to turn on the brake light, flashing it a few times.

 

[calmloki]

This is taught on day one in motorcycle riding school. Since motorcycles have a high power-to-weight ratio they can also usually slow down quickly using engine compression alone. In normal riding I don't touch the brakes and then only lightly until I'm down to second gear. But when downshifting I'll tap and hold the front brake lever just enough to turn on the brake light, flashing it a few times.

I do this in the car when approaching a bad area - multi lanes stopping, merging traffic coming into stopped or slowed traffic - or if it looks like the car behind me is coming up fast. I try and get their attention with a flashing brake light.

 

[luckydude]

Before I relate the little incident that happened to me today, let me preface my story by saying that as a faithful adherent of LBYM and stealth wealth, over the years I’ve had my shares of interesting moments with people who behave towards me in a certain way based on their perception and assessment of my financial situation.

Today I went to a local bank branch to get some spending cash from the ATM. When I was backing my beat-up 14-year-old car out of my parking spot, another car backed into me. I actually saw it coming on the rear view mirror and stepped on the gas pedal to get out of the way, but it was too late.

When I got out of the car to inspect the damage (it was minor---one side of the rear bumper popped out of its slot from the impact), the driver of the other car (a late model luxury German sedan---you know, the kind that anyone can lease for a few hundred a month) got out---I will call him Mr. Big---took one look at my car, and started shouting that there was no damage to my car and that he wouldn’t give me any info other than his phone number.

I was offended by Mr. Big’s belligerent attitude and responded that if he refused to provide the information as mandated by state law under such circumstances, I would call the cop and report a hit and run. This set Mr. Big off and he began shouting that I was trying to scam money from him and then added the classic line of “you have no idea who I am.” Mr. Big had, of course, no idea that I had enough assets to buy a few hundred of his fancy ride; to him I was just a little nobody with a beat-up car.

I was about the call the cops when Mr. Big’s companion, a lady, stepped out of the car to diffuse to situation. She was pleasant and exchanged information with me willingly, and while we were doing so, Mr. Big proceeded to engage what I would call the automobile equivalent of alpha male prancing/chest thumbing by revving his engine and circling the parking lot in his fancy ride. I am not sure if the bystanders were suitably impressed; I was not.

I told my wife what happened after I got home, and she laughed and said that when it comes to being involved in an accident, it’s good to have a beat-up car and be perceived as poor (or at least not well off). This way the other party won’t try to scam me, as no doubt Mr. Big feared when he ran into me. Had I been driving a car more commiserate with my means, perhaps I would have been the one to fear being scammed.

As for the damage, Mr. Big’s companion agreed to settle it without going through insurance company by giving me money directly after I get an estimate. I am thinking about getting my beat-up car fixed, but maybe not. After all, why blow a perfectly good cover? Instead, I think I will use the money for my planned trip to Easter Island next year.

Any similar stories from members of the forum?

A quick update on my brush with Mr. Big. DW took the car to the shop and got an estimate of, gulp, $250. DW then contacted Mr. Big's lady companion, who promised to get back to us by the end of the week on how they want to proceed.

I hope this $250 won't affect Mr. Big's ability to make his car payment . Just kidding of course. For I know, Mr. Big could be a billionaire masquerading as merely "mass affluent" by driving just a BMW to hide his wealth instead of being chauffeured in a Rolls.

 

[meierlde]

Note that the extreme example of this sort of thing was Sam Walton, who drove a beat up pickup around Bentonville. There are many stories of folks thinking he was a poor man.

 

[Gumby]

I may have posted this before, but I'm old and sometimes I forget. Anyway -- once, when I was a brand new young lawyer, I was second chairing a trial with one of the crusty old partners of the firm. As we were walking into court one morning, we saw our opponent pull up in a shiny black Porsche 911, with the whale tail and flare fenders (just like the one in Flashdance) and a customized license plate - "Litigator" or something like that. I opined that he must really be rich to have a car like that. The old partner with me said "Nope. It just means he either spent a lot of money or borrowed a lot of money. It doesn't mean he HAS a lot of money." Point well taken. When we left court, the old partner gave me a ride back to the office in his Chevy Cavalier. He said he liked jurors to see him drive it.

 

[Bestwifeever]

I think that's it. That's what I normally wear on weekdays. And my unassuming, lackluster face does not help.

Wear this from now on (son-in-law wears this shirt sometimes as a joke--his quite healthy ego protected him from a few cases of being treated like the help):

 

[growing_older]

When we went to settle, she completely lied and said it was my fault

I've run into that too. Immediate after the accident, the other driver cannot apologize enough and is so so sorry for what she did. She even wrote "sorry" on the little accident diagram we drew. After talking to her insurance, she denied everything and claimed I hit her a block away from the actual site. Amazing what realizing they may be in for a rate increase does to some people's memory. Lucky for me I had the diagram, labelled with her own handwriting, and once her insurance knew I had it, they were instantly very accommodating and helpful. I'm guessing they want to stay away from situations where they have to defend a proven liar which could go poorly for them.

 

[Sarah in SC]

LOL, thanks for sharing that short film. I hadn't seen it and it was very nice.

 

[luckydude]

I've run into that too. Immediate after the accident, the other driver cannot apologize enough and is so so sorry for what she did. She even wrote "sorry" on the little accident diagram we drew. After talking to her insurance, she denied everything and claimed I hit her a block away from the actual site. Amazing what realizing they may be in for a rate increase does to some people's memory. Lucky for me I had the diagram, labelled with her own handwriting, and once her insurance knew I had it, they were instantly very accommodating and helpful. I'm guessing they want to stay away from situations where they have to defend a proven liar which could go poorly for them.

I have a driving recorder in my car and use it to record all my drives to protect against exactly such scenarios. It has capacity for 8 hours of footage (on a 32 GB SDHC memory card) and just cycles through.

The ironic thing is that when I had my brush with Big, I didn't have it on because it was just a short run to the local ATM, and I thought what could possible go wrong. And of course thing always seems to go wrong when one least expects it.

I like to think all people are honest and will own up to their mistakes, but my past experiences tell me otherwise. Hence I now hope for the best from people but expect the worst.

 

[jollystomper]

As a minority this happens to me lots of times. I have just learned to just go with the flow and see the humor in it.

Once a friend and I planned to go fishing, and due to the logistics the plan was for DW to drop me off at a location and the friend to pick me up (he already had all the fishing gear). Turns out the drop-off place was near a day laborers' pick up point, and being dressed for fishing -old jeans, t-shirt, baseball cap, etc. - I didn't look much different from them. So several folks pulled up to me asking if I wanted work for the day.

Another time I was attending a swim meet for one of our kids in a "McMansion" neighborhood. Since there were long delays between the events our kid was in, and it wasn't my turn for volunteering that week, I walked a couple of blocks to a tag sale I had noticed being set up when we arrived, out of curiosity. I was dressed down as well as not having shaved for several days due to vacation, so the hostess took "pity" on me, thought I must have been poor and made remarks (albeit pleasant) along the lines. She was also a curvy middle-aged woman so I kind of enjoyed the attention . Her remarks also indicated that they had to deal with a lot of bills, but based on their house and vehicles it was likely a lifestyle thing.

 

[AnIntentionalRoad]

I have a driving recorder in my car and use it to record all my drives to protect against exactly such scenarios. It has capacity for 8 hours of footage (on a 32 GB SDHC memory card) and just cycles through.

The ironic thing is that when I had my brush with Big, I didn't have it on because it was just a short run to the local ATM, and I thought what could possible go wrong. And of course thing always seems to go wrong when one least expects it.

I like to think all people are honest and will own up to their mistakes, but my past experiences tell me otherwise. Hence I now hope for the best from people but expect the worst.

Not sure exactly but I remember some statistic that most accidents happen within a few miles of one's home.

 

[jerome len]

Like luckydude I believe in LBYM and stealth wealth but I still drive a new Cadillac SRX, leased for a few hundred dollars per month.......why leave it all to my kids? And, I had a similar accident when a gal backed into my other car.....a cheaper Ford with her Mercedes 350.....her car was brand new. She jumped out of her Mercedes blaming me for backing into her.....I gave her my insurance info, she held hers 2 feet away and threatened to mace me when I told her I couldn't read it that far out......so I took a pic of it and read it later. The really good news was I had a witness.....she then said I offered to pay him off.....not true! I thought we would both end up paying our own damages....$1400 to my car.....$3000 to hers BUT......the shopping center had a tape of the accident......and, I was vindicated!!!!!!!!! The cops wouldn't come because it happened on private property and no one was hurt......they probably would have if I had called back and told them about the mace threat........unbelievable......but true! Now the car is fixed......I"m happy and glad I lucky enough to have a witness and a video.

 

[footenote]

My grandfather worked his way up from nothing to lawyer and eventually to judge. During their later, affluent years, my grandparents lived in a ritzy neighborhood, but my grandfather still drove a beater. A wealthier man in the neighborhood admonished him one day: "You aren't rich enough to drive that car."

So, even back in the 1930s, "stealth wealth" was sometimes known to be a "humble brag."

 

[travelover]

Not sure exactly but I remember some statistic that most accidents happen within a few miles of one's home.

A good reason to move.