Stop Using Toilet Paper

I read this story years ago:

Supplies were short for several days after the landings at Normandy on D-Day, June 1944. An Army Captain who had recently come ashore headed to the latrine area to find a Private rationing toilet paper-3 sheets only. The Captain said "I want more than 3 sheets Private!" The Private replied "Sorry Sir. General's orders. But I think you'll find 3 sheets to be plenty. One up, one down, one polish." :LOL:
 
Some years ago I inadvertantly came across a high tech paperless public toilet being piloted in Manchester, England.

On entering said toilet I sat down and as I did my business, I looked around for toilet paper but instead saw instructions that instructed me that I should wipe myself using my fingers and then place them in the high tech cleaning device that had looked like a toilet paper holder. It was too late now, so I did as instructed and after cleaning myself using my fingers I placed them in the hole indicated. A big hammer slammed down on my fingers causing me to immediately whisk them out and stick them into my mouth.







Disclaimer:
The preceding story is a joke and I apologize to any offense caused to the good people of Manchester.
 
Some years ago I inadvertantly came across a high tech paperless public toilet being piloted in Manchester, England.

On entering said toilet I sat down and as I did my business, I looked around for toilet paper but instead saw instructions that instructed me that I should wipe myself using my fingers and then place them in the high tech cleaning device that had looked like a toilet paper holder. It was too late now, so I did as instructed and after cleaning myself using my fingers I placed them in the hole indicated. A big hammer slammed down on my fingers causing me to immediately whisk them out and stick them into my mouth.

Now we need a smiley that combines roflol and vomiting at the same time, the reaction that the above story induces (and a big roll of TP to cleanse the oral regions of the vomit).
 
Now we need a smiley that combines roflol and vomiting at the same time, the reaction that the above story induces (and a big roll of TP to cleanse the oral regions of the vomit).
This is the best I can do.......:ROFLMAO:...
smiley-sick029.gif
smiley-chores012.gif


..this is for you Alan...:flowers:

...don't ya know I love to laugh!
 
This thread reminds me of that story "At the house of the Japanese Ambassador". I don't remember who told it.
 
We spend around $15 per year per person on toilet paper (3 ladies in the house plus me). A luxury I would not give up in order to get me 0.003 years closer to FIRE. I try to encourage my young daughters to use less than 50 sheets per wipe, but that is mainly from a plumbing/operational desire, not a cost reduction desire.


I don't know how this is possible. A 12-pack of Charmin costs about $8 at the commissary. According to my wife, we sometimes go through a roll a day. $15 per person per year seems pretty cheap to me...but to honest, I've never really tried to conserve the paper, unless I'm specifically aware that we're down to the last roll and I'm actually "in the driver's seat" at that moment...:cool:
 
Anecdote from Mother (who went to college ''37 to '41):
Sign by toilet paper in bathroom in sorority house:
"Why take 5 when 4 will do?"
"Why take 4 when 3 will do?"
----------------------
Response: "What's par around this hole?"
 
I don't know how this is possible. A 12-pack of Charmin costs about $8 at the commissary. According to my wife, we sometimes go through a roll a day. $15 per person per year seems pretty cheap to me...but to honest, I've never really tried to conserve the paper, unless I'm specifically aware that we're down to the last roll and I'm actually "in the driver's seat" at that moment...:cool:

Charmin? I thought this was a LBYM forum?!?!? And $8 seems steep even for charmin (based on my knowledge of walmart prices).

I can buy the 6 pack of no name at walmart for a buck. I recently bought 3 huge cases of toilet paper from amazon for $36 (96 rolls/case IIRC), and we have been working on those for over 3 months now. Still not half way used up yet. So I figure around $60-70 a year for TP. We may spend more in the future if we go back to buying 6 packs for $1 each, since I'm pretty sure the ladies in the house use more than 1 roll/day on average.
 

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Growing up we used cut up squares of old newspaper threaded on a piece of string and hanging from a hook in the wall. The only time we had colored toilet paper was when the Saturday sports special (called the Sporting Pink I think) had been read and was ready for re-cycling. :)
 
Toilet paper? Isn't this what saving dryer sheets are for?

I have been reading these comments with some amusement. I thought I would comment too since I have lived a good part of my life in Japan and have used Japanese toilets even longer.

The toilet in question is not a bidet but is generally called a washlet. In fact, they are not toilets but toilets seats with bidet and other functionality. They were first developed by the Toto Company and were called Washlets. These are now made by many Japanese, Korean and Chinese manufacturers but many folks still refer to these units as washlets. Most washlets have wands under the seat that extend when you press a button and you can wash the front or rear with warm water. Most have warm air dryers and the seats are generally warmed. A real benefit in Japanese homes which seldom have central heating.

Most homes in Japan have washlets now as do most hotels. You will find them in restaurant restrooms and even public toilets. Some of my gaijin friends now refer to Japan as the "Land of the Shiney Bottoms". Many of the units are quite sophisticated and I am waiting for those units that may at some point actually examine the waste and suggest dietary alternatives. For those with hemorrhoids, fissures, and other issues, these are wonderful with warm soothing water. Many of our Japanese friends in the U.S. or those friends who have lived in Japan have these units as well. Here is a link to one such unit: Washlet C110

I might add that these units have been around for a long time and are very reliable. Of course, it depends on the manufacturer but Toto simply makes the best toilets and washlets. They usually have to be special ordered through plumbing stores and cost a bit more than others but pay for themselves over the years in readability and less water usage. Never having to flush twice is nice of course as is saving on toilet paper, but waking up in the middle of the night in a chilly house and seating yourself on a warm washlet is, well, priceless.

Charlie
 
For me, resorting to cheap toilet paper or no toilet paper is not an option. Some things, such as quality TP, you just can't give up.
 
My DH gets really, ahem, irritated when I buy the cheap TP.

Interesting about the washlets, Charlie. My only foreign toilet experience besides the nonexistent ones in the Mongolian outback were the unfathomable "no seat at all" model in Italy. WTF? Even in the Italian hospital there was not a western style toilet.

Those Japanese are buttocks ahead of the rest of the world in toilet fashion. :)
 
If I reach for the "1000 sheet, septic tank safe" brand, I get the "eyeball". So I let Mr B choose what he wants. A small sacrafice for a guy who saved me a ton of money by reviewing my car/home/life insurance situation for free. :LOL:
 
I choose Costco. The big pack of Kirkland TP. I don't know what it costs, I no longer look - it's reasonable and good quality... and I'm WORTH IT! No s**t! :whistle:
 
I went to the restroom yesterday at a college I was at, and after tugging at the toilet roll a single sheet came out, and that was it!! :nonono:

It reminded me of a poem that was common graffiti some years ago.

Here I sit in clouds of vapors,
someone stole the toilet paper.
How much longer must I linger,
before I'm forced to use my finger?
 
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