The art of frugality

[Urchina]

Khan has it right. The car failed smog and was labeled a "gross polluter" (even though it was not a black-smoke belcher and it had never failed smog before). When exploring options to repair it, my mechanic told me that I'd be better off having the state (CA) pay me to retire it. He gave me the number to call. Two weeks and a drive to the wrecker's later, and I was down an old car and up a grand.

Come to think of it, that mechanic's advice is one of my best freebies, too.

 

[jazz4cash]

Khan has it right. The car failed smog and was labeled a "gross polluter" (even though it was not a black-smoke belcher and it had never failed smog before). When exploring options to repair it, my mechanic told me that I'd be better off having the state (CA) pay me to retire it. He gave me the number to call. Two weeks and a drive to the wrecker's later, and I was down an old car and up a grand.

Come to think of it, that mechanic's advice is one of my best freebies, too.

I understand the principle, but a grand seems pretty generous! Doesn't CA (or one of the utility companies) also have a bounty for "2nd refridgerators"? I think I recall a bounty on gas lawn mowers also? They even had a free exchange gas for electric here in the DC area, but it was basically a gimmick as they only had a couple hundred electric mowers to exchange.

 

[Walt34]

It is scary having daughter(s), isn't it? As a guy in our childbirth class (wow 12 years ago already) said, "we're having a boy.... I only have to worry about one dick - you have to worry about all of them!"

- John

You're going to want this:

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be considered incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME______________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT____________ WEIGHT_____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #____________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_____________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS__________________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP_____
Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent?__________ If NO, explain:
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Number of years married________If less than your age, explain ________________________________________________________________________
Do you own a van?_____ A truck with oversized tires?_____ A waterbed?_____ A pickup with a mattress in the back?_____ A condom?_____ Pornography?_______
Do you have earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring?________ A tattoo?___________
(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES. RUNNING IS RECOMMENDED.)
In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to You?_______________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, mean to you?___________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? __________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Church you attend_________________________________ How often you attend_______
When would be the best time to interview your:

father____________ mother________________
priest______________ parole officer_______

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be my________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my________________________
C: A woman's place is in the________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is_____________________
E: When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_________________________
NOTE: if answer E begins with T or A, discontinue. Leaving premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.
What do you want to do IF you grow up________________________________________
What is the current going rate of a hotel room?____________________________________
Condoms come in packages of (circle one):
A: 3
B: 6
C: 9
D: 12
E: ALL OF THE ABOVE
How do you know?________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_______________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name, moron)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury) If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back).

 

[StJohnsWood]

I did this with an old lawn mower. It became a game. How much could I get in the trash can without being caught. I actually really enjoyed it. I took that thing apart all the way to the engine block.


Bought a new washer and dryer last year. Trash company wanted a surcharge to haul the old ones away. The washer was still working so I took it to Habitat Restore. The dryer was a safety hazard so over the course of several weeks I cut it up with tin snips and with the help of a hammer and a large rock worked it right in to my trash can with the regular pick up.[/quote]

 

[Urchina]

I understand the principle, but a grand seems pretty generous! Doesn't CA (or one of the utility companies) also have a bounty for "2nd refridgerators"?

Jazz,

I agree, the $1K seemed like a killing to me, too, especially since the air quality in our area is pretty good (ocean breezes help a lot). Then I remembered a meeting I had in Pasadena four years ago. I was staying in a hotel three blocks from my meeting, and I walked there, and I had to stop three times to rest because I couldn't catch my breath. It turns out, I have asthma, but didn't know it until then (I was in good shape in my late 20s). At the end of the meeting I mentioned it to someone else and she said "yeah, the air is really bad today, you can't even see the mountains." I said, "What mountains?" She meant the San Gabriel Mountains. Pasadena is right up against them. I couldn't see them, and they were less than 5 miles away? That NUTS.

Given that, $1K seems like a bargain. The guy at the wrecker's said that he'd have given me $25.00, tops, for the car if I'd just driven it in.

As far as the refrigerators go, I know that our electric company will pay you $50 to upgrade your fridge to a new one if your old one is at least 10 years old. They'll do the same for a freezer. The new ones are so much more energy efficient, it's worth it to them.

 

[Walt34]

When the offices at work were to be painted we had to box everything up for moving all the files around. When the project was done I took most of the boxes home because I knew we were moving within a year. DW rolled her eyes but at about $3/box I figure I saved a grand or more in just boxes.

Also prior to the move I rented two storage bins near the destination and everything that I could physically carry and would fit in the pickup I moved myself to the bins, and retrieved them afterward. It took the movers about an hour to load what was left.

In prior moves I was known for dumpster diving behind department stores for boxes.

However, my favorite "cheapskate award" goes to the guy who retrieved a dozen roses from behind a Kmart and gave them to his wife. At least he was thinking of her.