Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-22-2015, 01:44 PM   #61
Recycles dryer sheets
txtig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Sugar Land
Posts: 284
When my two sons were young, we scrimped and saved to accumulate a college fund for them. My wife was a stay at home mom at the time, and I made a decent salary, but not not even close to being well off. Well, fast forward to today and the youngest son is about to graduate college. Funny thing is that, although I paid all college expenses, I didn't use a penny of what I had set aside as the "college fund". My salary had increased to the point where I could handle the college expenses from current cash flow. Now, the college fund will be utilized for general retirement expenses (or maybe a big boat), but sometimes I wonder if I should not have denied our young family as much as I did in order to establish this college fund. We could have taken some more frequent and/ or more lavish family vacations or other spending that may have made things more comfortable back when the kids were young.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
__________________

__________________
txtig is online now   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 10-22-2015, 02:22 PM   #62
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1
Been lurking for quite awhile but had to register and comment regarding this issue. Both my parents were raised during the depression, with my fathers' family being quite poor. They bought some farmland and worked it for over forty years and were fortunate to retire at sixty-two. They are financially very well off but still live quite frugally. One particular incident brings a smile and laugh to the family when we reference it. My mother makes a delicious chicken salad which calls for green grapes. We were having lunch one day and noticed there were no grapes in the salad and asked her why? She commented that the price of green grapes was currently too high and she wasn't going to spend that much. All of the family looked at each other and laughed. Here is a woman worth quite a bit of money, yet couldn't bring herself to buy some grapes due to the cost. As for my father, he has needed new dentures for years but won't spend the money on himself. I told him if I see him losing weight, he is getting new teeth!

I was fortunate to retire at age 55 in part due to their generosity. Thanks mom and dad!
__________________

__________________
golfergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2015, 04:11 PM   #63
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
mickeyd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Texas~29N/98W
Posts: 5,884
Quote:

I have no idea what I will do with this money once I get the check in my
hand.
I have had this question posed to me also and the answer that always works is: Put the money in a savings account and do not feel obligated to do anything with the $ for 6-12 months. After a good long wait, you will have decided what to do with the money. BTW, if you need a washing machine today, don't feel bad about buying a new one today before putting to rest in the bank.

Good luck.
__________________
Part-Owner of Texas

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx

In dire need of: faster horses, younger woman, older whiskey, more money.
mickeyd is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2015, 04:52 PM   #64
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 903
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danmar View Post
I don't understand buying day old bread to save a few cents when your net worth is $5million (my in laws). Again balance is key.
Assuming you're not eating the bread still warm and fresh from the oven, it just seems practical to me. It's not like I'll notice much difference between bread baked today and bread that's one day old. Now what doesn't make sense to me is if you don't buy bread at all because there's no discounted day old bread available.
__________________
hnzw_rui is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2015, 05:18 PM   #65
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Alberta/Ontario/ Arizona
Posts: 3,155
Quote:
Originally Posted by hnzw_rui View Post
Assuming you're not eating the bread still warm and fresh from the oven, it just seems practical to me. It's not like I'll notice much difference between bread baked today and bread that's one day old. Now what doesn't make sense to me is if you don't buy bread at all because there's no discounted day old bread available.
I can certainly taste the difference. Baguettes (bread I normally buy) are hard as rock after a day. Anyway, it was just an example of their cheapness. Plenty more where that came from, believe me.
__________________
Danmar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2015, 05:23 PM   #66
Full time employment: Posting here.
CaliforniaMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: San Diego
Posts: 846
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtig View Post
When my two sons were young, we scrimped and saved to accumulate a college fund for them. My wife was a stay at home mom at the time, and I made a decent salary, but not not even close to being well off. Well, fast forward to today and the youngest son is about to graduate college. Funny thing is that, although I paid all college expenses, I didn't use a penny of what I had set aside as the "college fund". My salary had increased to the point where I could handle the college expenses from current cash flow. Now, the college fund will be utilized for general retirement expenses (or maybe a big boat), but sometimes I wonder if I should not have denied our young family as much as I did in order to establish this college fund. We could have taken some more frequent and/ or more lavish family vacations or other spending that may have made things more comfortable back when the kids were young.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
Planning would have been easier if we had known the future. So now you just have to plan how big the boat

I think for all of us this is the dilemma described in the thread. How do we life life to the fullest now, while making sure there will be enough for a full life tomorrow. Of course I don't have a clue about the answer, but for us we just spend all we have allocated. What we don't spend this month goes into a short term "savings" account for travel or other large purchase later. We never go over our budget, but are pretty much forced to spend what we have planned. That way we try to stay frugal (never going over our budget) and yet not miserly (spending what we have allocated to spend).

It works out, if we have extra in the "savings" what might have been a two week trip to Europe, can be a three week trip, etc. When we are coming up short, we cut down our spending for the month. But the bottom line is to enjoy life, not continually worry. So far the idea of spending a preset amount seems to be working (eliminating stress) for us.
__________________
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
CaliforniaMan is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2015, 05:34 PM   #67
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Alberta/Ontario/ Arizona
Posts: 3,155
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliforniaMan View Post
Planning would have been easier if we had known the future. So now you just have to plan how big the boat

I think for all of us this is the dilemma described in the thread. How do we life life to the fullest now, while making sure there will be enough for a full life tomorrow. Of course I don't have a clue about the answer, but for us we just spend all we have allocated. What we don't spend this month goes into a short term "savings" account for travel or other large purchase later. We never go over our budget, but are pretty much forced to spend what we have planned. That way we try to stay frugal (never going over our budget) and yet not miserly (spending what we have allocated to spend).

It works out, if we have extra in the "savings" what might have been a two week trip to Europe, can be a three week trip, etc. When we are coming up short, we cut down our spending for the month. But the bottom line is to enjoy life, not continually worry. So far the idea of spending a preset amount seems to be working (eliminating stress) for us.
Seems like a pretty good approach as long as the spending allocation is reasonable, ie not unreasonably constrained ( doesn't appear to be in your case).

We take a similar approach in that we budget to spend divs and pensions actually received. At some point we will probably increase this a bit if markets are favourable. People with large portfolios who only spend 1-2% each year will in all likelihood leave a very large legacy. If that is the plan, no problem. If they are just being overly conservative and haven't considered any legacy, not so much.
__________________
Danmar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2015, 05:56 PM   #68
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,905
I know this is anathema to the total return folks but I've always felt that whatever money drops into my checking account is fair game and have no problems spending that. Thus I've structured my portfolio to where all distributions from my taxable accounts (Div, CG) are directed to my checking account. And I've structured my taxable investments where taxable accounts primarily produce tax advantaged dividends and CG (Stock mutual funds). As it turns out current living expenses are pretty much covered between taking SS early and Div and CG.

Now when it comes to actually selling investments for living expenses I do have a huge psychological "don't touch the principal" problem so I fully understand why some people will go to extremes and although not there (yet anyway) I can see how some people would easily slide into some of the extreme behaviors mentioned @ this thread. In fact now that I think about it, some (if not all) of my extreme reluctance to convert my IRA to a Roth is the knowledge that whatever is converted will never be touched by me. On the other hand, RMD's will send money to my checking account and then it's fair game. Oh dear, the games we play...
__________________
ejman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2015, 10:59 PM   #69
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 28
This could so easily be me some day. I'm a single guy in his early 30s By the time I get off from work, many days I'm exhausted. I just want to go home, crack open a beer and play some video games with friends, watch a movie or read a book.

I doubt I will ever feel financially secure until I no longer *need* to work just to get by. I save over half my gross income. I realize I need to find a better balance, but every time I go to spend money on a 'want' I always ask myself 'will this make me happier?' Most of the time, the answer is no.

My plan, essentially, is to keep salting away money until I'm financially independent. Once I reach that point I'll increase my spending on hobbies and such each year (matching my SWR) until I hit the point of diminishing returns. Then, I'll start looking hard at retirement.

I realize that this definitely short changes my youth, but I don't know any other way to go about it and have peace of mind about it. It's one of those things I'm sure I'll regret later, but who knows what the future may bring?
__________________
mortal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2015, 06:56 AM   #70
Full time employment: Posting here.
Badger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 829
Quote:
Originally Posted by mortal View Post

I doubt I will ever feel financially secure until I no longer *need* to work just to get by. I save over half my gross income. I realize I need to find a better balance, but every time I go to spend money on a 'want' I always ask myself 'will this make me happier?'Most of the time, the answer is no.

My plan, essentially, is to keep salting away money until I'm financially independent. Once I reach that point I'll increase my spending on hobbies and such each year (matching my SWR) until I hit the point of diminishing returns. Then, I'll start looking hard at retirement.

I realize that this definitely short changes my youth, but I don't know any other way to go about it and have peace of mind about it. It's one of those things I'm sure I'll regret later, but who knows what the future may bring?
Good question to ask yourself. Too many people buy "stuff" that doesn't make them any happier and then wind up with little to nothing later on when they need the savings. Not spending now on things that don't make you happy should not be something to regret. DW and I lived frugally but had a full life (still do) with plenty of inexpensive enjoyments that gave us pleasure. Camping all over the US and in a few foreign countries, playing our favorite sports, picnics, going to the beach and the mountains, gardening, visiting with friends, etc. We saved half of our gross income too. Now we have everything we want (we are still a little frugal and only spend on things that really make us happy), savings to do anything we want, and no regrets. We have the chance to pass a nice inheritance on and donate to our favorite charities.

Sounds to me you are doing well.

Cheers!
__________________
Badger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2015, 09:06 AM   #71
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
JoeWras's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,531
I'm reading here about young people not spending anything. I want to mention something important: SPEND YOUR TIME.

DW and I are big on LBYM. Lately, we've loosened up a bit and spent some on travel overseas (our first time). We don't buy a lot of "stuff". Stuff tends to get old.

Experiences never get old, they get better.

What worries me are my young co-workers who NEVER take time off. Where the hell this idea has come from? I don't know. Frankly, the boss doesn't give a darn. And as a team leader myself, I get suspicious of "fall on the sword, make the diving catch" people.

Take a break, people.

SPEND your VACATION. Use it. You can LBYM. Go camping in our national parks. It costs almost nothing. Heck, do like we did and stay at a little motel outside the parks. Still cheap. You don't have to go overseas (although I recommend it).

When DW and I talk about stuff, we don't talk about our things. We talk about our wonderful -- and not so wonderful (funerals) -- experiences of using our time. TIME is priceless. USE it.

Sorry for the CAPs, but this makes me mad. I see too many people wasting it away.
__________________
JoeWras is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2015, 09:08 AM   #72
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
JoeWras's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,531
Quote:
Originally Posted by Badger View Post
Good question to ask yourself. Too many people buy "stuff" that doesn't make them any happier and then wind up with little to nothing later on when they need the savings. Not spending now on things that don't make you happy should not be something to regret. DW and I lived frugally but had a full life (still do) with plenty of inexpensive enjoyments that gave us pleasure. Camping all over the US and in a few foreign countries, playing our favorite sports, picnics, going to the beach and the mountains, gardening, visiting with friends, etc. We saved half of our gross income too. Now we have everything we want (we are still a little frugal and only spend on things that really make us happy), savings to do anything we want, and no regrets. We have the chance to pass a nice inheritance on and donate to our favorite charities.

Sounds to me you are doing well.

Cheers!
This is what I'm talking about! Badger spends both time and money wisely.
Well done.
__________________
JoeWras is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2015, 09:25 AM   #73
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,994
I took my first trip to Europe when I was 25. I decided that when I had $X saved up, I'd spend the money to go to Europe (but not out of what I'd saved up!). It worked well; the faster I saved, the sooner I could book my trip.


I was "grounded" for about 12 years while DS was little and I was married to a spendthrift who had other financial priorities, but when I divorced him and started dating now-DH, the fun started again. It helped that I'd scrupulously accumulated miles and points from business travel, which cut out-of-pocket expenses.


DH has a wonderful perspective on things. When it became clear that DS needed a more structured school environment and a military boarding school seemed the best option, I fretted about what it would do for my retirement savings. We weren't married at the time but he said, "what good will it do you if you have a prosperous retirement but DS never finds his direction and you wonder if you should have done more?" He was right, of course. I forked over the cost and it did DS a world of good. His second year, he was sitting next to me as I wrote out a check for $12,000 for the 2000/2001 year. He said, "it costs that much to send me here?" "Yes", I said. And you're worth it."


Balance in all things.
__________________
athena53 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2015, 09:32 AM   #74
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,708
Quote:
Originally Posted by athena53 View Post
I took my first trip to Europe when I was 25. I decided that when I had $X saved up, I'd spend the money to go to Europe (but not out of what I'd saved up!). It worked well; the faster I saved, the sooner I could book my trip.


I was "grounded" for about 12 years while DS was little and I was married to a spendthrift who had other financial priorities, but when I divorced him and started dating now-DH, the fun started again. It helped that I'd scrupulously accumulated miles and points from business travel, which cut out-of-pocket expenses.


DH has a wonderful perspective on things. When it became clear that DS needed a more structured school environment and a military boarding school seemed the best option, I fretted about what it would do for my retirement savings. We weren't married at the time but he said, "what good will it do you if you have a prosperous retirement but DS never finds his direction and you wonder if you should have done more?" He was right, of course. I forked over the cost and it did DS a world of good. His second year, he was sitting next to me as I wrote out a check for $12,000 for the 2000/2001 year. He said, "it costs that much to send me here?" "Yes", I said. And you're worth it."


Balance in all things.
Good for you! But "...married to a spendthrift who had other financial priorities..." has to be THE classic line of the year!

So gently put but so to the point.

You should be an ambassador!
__________________
Living well is the best revenge!
Retired @ 52 in 2005
marko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2015, 10:35 AM   #75
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by Badger View Post
Good question to ask yourself. Too many people buy "stuff" that doesn't make them any happier and then wind up with little to nothing later on when they need the savings. Not spending now on things that don't make you happy should not be something to regret. ........Sounds to me you are doing well.

Cheers!

+1. Staying home also limits the chances of meeting that spouse who will spend it for you 😀
__________________
Quest4Fire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2015, 11:11 AM   #76
Full time employment: Posting here.
CaliforniaMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: San Diego
Posts: 846
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeWras View Post
I'm reading here about young people not spending anything. I want to mention something important: SPEND YOUR TIME.

DW and I are big on LBYM. Lately, we've loosened up a bit and spent some on travel overseas (our first time). We don't buy a lot of "stuff". Stuff tends to get old.

Experiences never get old, they get better.

What worries me are my young co-workers who NEVER take time off. Where the hell this idea has come from? I don't know. Frankly, the boss doesn't give a darn. And as a team leader myself, I get suspicious of "fall on the sword, make the diving catch" people.

Take a break, people.

SPEND your VACATION. Use it. You can LBYM. Go camping in our national parks. It costs almost nothing. Heck, do like we did and stay at a little motel outside the parks. Still cheap. You don't have to go overseas (although I recommend it).

When DW and I talk about stuff, we don't talk about our things. We talk about our wonderful -- and not so wonderful (funerals) -- experiences of using our time. TIME is priceless. USE it.

Sorry for the CAPs, but this makes me mad. I see too many people wasting it away.
I think you make a very good point. When I was young I was proud I never took vacation, maxed out my vacation time, for some reason it was a badge of "honor." It was not, it was just me missing out on doing things I enjoyed and could afford, like backpacking the Sierras, things I don't feel physically fit to do now. I am so glad for that day I went crazy and bought all the SCUBA gear. After I finished my certification, I just went to the show to look, but came back with the whole shebang. I am so glad I did. It gave me many wonderful experiences that I think about to this day.

Never spend just to spend, but do spend a little to enjoy your youth. It won't last forever.
__________________
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
CaliforniaMan is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2015, 12:03 PM   #77
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,994
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliforniaMan View Post
Never spend just to spend, but do spend a little to enjoy your youth. It won't last forever.
Amen! When DH and I met, he was 59 and I was 44. We went to Europe a lot more often (once it was 3X in one year) because we could squeeze into Coach Class and not need a week to recover. DH could also walk much longer distances. When we saw Arthur's Seat (elevation 822 feet) in the background on our first trip to Edinburgh and found that lots of people climbed it, well, we did, too. That was 2001 and DH wouldn't be able to do that now. He's got a few chronic health issues and he's 77.

We still travel but it's in Business Class on long-hauls, spending more time in one city rather than skipping around every few days, getting more private transportation rather than buses and trains to/from airports. There are some expeditions I do on my own; if I see something interesting DH and I come back later. We still have wonderful trips and I'm profoundly grateful we can enjoy them together, but I'm grateful we got in all those trips when it was easier to do it on the cheap.
__________________
athena53 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2015, 12:53 PM   #78
Full time employment: Posting here.
CaliforniaMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: San Diego
Posts: 846
Quote:
Originally Posted by athena53 View Post
Amen! When DH and I met, he was 59 and I was 44. We went to Europe a lot more often (once it was 3X in one year) because we could squeeze into Coach Class and not need a week to recover. DH could also walk much longer distances. When we saw Arthur's Seat (elevation 822 feet) in the background on our first trip to Edinburgh and found that lots of people climbed it, well, we did, too. That was 2001 and DH wouldn't be able to do that now. He's got a few chronic health issues and he's 77.

We still travel but it's in Business Class on long-hauls, spending more time in one city rather than skipping around every few days, getting more private transportation rather than buses and trains to/from airports. There are some expeditions I do on my own; if I see something interesting DH and I come back later. We still have wonderful trips and I'm profoundly grateful we can enjoy them together, but I'm grateful we got in all those trips when it was easier to do it on the cheap.
We are front-loading our retirement with more travel etc. too (my DW is younger than me also) while we are still able to actively enjoy it. Then will maybe slow down and enjoy staying in one place longer, which is also great. Wishing you and your DH many more wonderful trips together!
__________________
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
CaliforniaMan is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-2015, 09:50 PM   #79
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 196
This thread makes me think of my dad, who isn't a penny pincher but who was always trying to be careful because he was so worried that my mom would spend it all, and that of course she'd long outlive him, being younger and from a long-living family. They did plenty of traveling and lived well, but he was always on her to realize that the bank account wasn't bottomless.

And then she died at 72. And now he is in his 80s, on his own, and is realizing that splurging a bit here and there is kind of nice. But I have no doubt he is not getting anywhere close to touching his principal and that his stash is probably continuing to grow. I'm sure Mom is looking down at that bank account and is most displeased that NOW he likes to spend money more freely!
__________________
googily is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-2015, 10:17 PM   #80
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 5,327
I read a comment on a Yahoo finance article that has helped me to spend a bit more. Someone wrote about a frugal neighbor who died and the widowed husband's second wife was enjoying spending the money.
__________________

__________________
Even clouds seem bright and breezy, 'Cause the livin' is free and easy, See the rat race in a new way, Like you're wakin' up to a new day (Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether lyrics, Alan Parsons Project, based on an EA Poe story)
daylatedollarshort is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Saving for the gap between now and 60 RetireAbroadAt35 FIRE and Money 2 01-17-2014 06:45 PM
It is a long hard struggle... UnderTheRadar Young Dreamers 47 10-05-2012 10:32 PM
Never ending SWR & FIRECALC Midpack FIRECalc support 5 04-22-2011 05:49 PM
Staying the course is a day-to-day struggle azanon Young Dreamers 37 01-17-2006 03:05 PM
Never Complain - Never Explain! MRGALT2U Other topics 1 10-30-2005 06:52 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:15 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.