ivinsfan
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2007
- Messages
- 9,962
Many posters here talk about trying to balance saving and spending. Such as saving now to spend later or spending now to enjoy the moment.
I am personally involved in a family matter that seems to point to the fact that this issue is almost always about more then money.
My DF ran away from home in PA at the age of 16 in the mid-40's he lied about his age and enlisted in the service where he spent over 20 years. At the end of his hitch he moved our family out West, 2000 miles from where he grew up. We had very sporadic contact with his family seeing them perhaps twice in my entire childhood. He came from a large Catholic family with many area ties, but never spoke about them to anybody in my family.I have sporadic e-mail contact with one cousin and don't know or speak to the others.
In May, I received a letter from a lawyer in PA. A first cousin had died at the age of 76, he had no living parents, his spouse passed in '87, he had no children and was an only child. He also had no will. According to PA state law his money would pass to all blood Aunts and Uncles in equal shares, if the Uncle or Aunt was deceased (as in my case) the share would be split equally between their children. ( the first cousins). The paperwork asked for some identifying info, such as DOB, SS number and legal name and address. I sent it off and never thought about it again, as there would be many Aunts and Uncles on both sides of his family...
I googled my cousin and found he worked for Mack truck. My emailing cousin told me the deceased cousin lived in a very small home that had a leaky roof and water problems , damp and cold resulting in mold and other problems that probably contributed to my cousins late life illness and death.
I didn't give the matter a lot of thought, just thought in passing it was sad he didn't have anyone to leave his last remaining possessions to.
Thursday I received a large packet, around 100 pages pertaining to my cousins estate and the settlement. After 3 minutes of reading I was in tears.
He left an estate of over 600K.
It consisted of cash and more cash all invested in CD's either IRA or after-tax money in local banks..several uncashed pension checks.. his pension from Mack truck was 575.00 a month
A few savings bonds.
A house worth 60K, virtually a teardown
Large quantities of cash found in his home.
The personal property listing was stunning
A '90 Buick sold for scrap.
50 dollars of costume jewelry sold at a yard sale
1200 dollars of household items sold at yard sale
a few collectibles or antiques sold on e-bay for 3,0000.
and that's it.
As you can imagine there are lots of fees and commissions involved in settling this big can of worms. The state of PA took 70K in taxes. There were 12 Aunts and Uncles...so after our 1/12 is split 3 ways my sibs and I each get 13K...
this enclosed a complete family tree from both with the disclosure paperwork. It looks as though there were perhaps 2 dozen first cousins all living within about a 5 or 10 mile area where these families are located. Over 95% of the address are local. How is it that my cousin had no one he felt good about leaving his money too? How is it that he probably was obviously struggling with some mental health issues and no family noticed? He lived alone for almost 30 years did he ever get an invite to someone's Thanksgiving or Easter dinner.
I have no idea what I will do with this money once I get the check in my hand. I'm pretty certain my cousin accumulated this cash through severe self deprivation. He was so intense about hoarding and yet made no effort to figure out what would happen when he was gone. How is it that so many people seem to struggle with money and what is represents? And most importantly, how do we check our own attitudes toward money and see that they stay balanced?
I am personally involved in a family matter that seems to point to the fact that this issue is almost always about more then money.
My DF ran away from home in PA at the age of 16 in the mid-40's he lied about his age and enlisted in the service where he spent over 20 years. At the end of his hitch he moved our family out West, 2000 miles from where he grew up. We had very sporadic contact with his family seeing them perhaps twice in my entire childhood. He came from a large Catholic family with many area ties, but never spoke about them to anybody in my family.I have sporadic e-mail contact with one cousin and don't know or speak to the others.
In May, I received a letter from a lawyer in PA. A first cousin had died at the age of 76, he had no living parents, his spouse passed in '87, he had no children and was an only child. He also had no will. According to PA state law his money would pass to all blood Aunts and Uncles in equal shares, if the Uncle or Aunt was deceased (as in my case) the share would be split equally between their children. ( the first cousins). The paperwork asked for some identifying info, such as DOB, SS number and legal name and address. I sent it off and never thought about it again, as there would be many Aunts and Uncles on both sides of his family...
I googled my cousin and found he worked for Mack truck. My emailing cousin told me the deceased cousin lived in a very small home that had a leaky roof and water problems , damp and cold resulting in mold and other problems that probably contributed to my cousins late life illness and death.
I didn't give the matter a lot of thought, just thought in passing it was sad he didn't have anyone to leave his last remaining possessions to.
Thursday I received a large packet, around 100 pages pertaining to my cousins estate and the settlement. After 3 minutes of reading I was in tears.
He left an estate of over 600K.
It consisted of cash and more cash all invested in CD's either IRA or after-tax money in local banks..several uncashed pension checks.. his pension from Mack truck was 575.00 a month
A few savings bonds.
A house worth 60K, virtually a teardown
Large quantities of cash found in his home.
The personal property listing was stunning
A '90 Buick sold for scrap.
50 dollars of costume jewelry sold at a yard sale
1200 dollars of household items sold at yard sale
a few collectibles or antiques sold on e-bay for 3,0000.
and that's it.
As you can imagine there are lots of fees and commissions involved in settling this big can of worms. The state of PA took 70K in taxes. There were 12 Aunts and Uncles...so after our 1/12 is split 3 ways my sibs and I each get 13K...
this enclosed a complete family tree from both with the disclosure paperwork. It looks as though there were perhaps 2 dozen first cousins all living within about a 5 or 10 mile area where these families are located. Over 95% of the address are local. How is it that my cousin had no one he felt good about leaving his money too? How is it that he probably was obviously struggling with some mental health issues and no family noticed? He lived alone for almost 30 years did he ever get an invite to someone's Thanksgiving or Easter dinner.
I have no idea what I will do with this money once I get the check in my hand. I'm pretty certain my cousin accumulated this cash through severe self deprivation. He was so intense about hoarding and yet made no effort to figure out what would happen when he was gone. How is it that so many people seem to struggle with money and what is represents? And most importantly, how do we check our own attitudes toward money and see that they stay balanced?