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Report: More Americans Putting Off Retirement Until Final Few Moments Before Death
Old 08-25-2014, 05:12 PM   #1
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Report: More Americans Putting Off Retirement Until Final Few Moments Before Death

Report: More Americans Putting Off Retirement Until Final Few Moments Before Death | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

"WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, financial concerns are prompting a growing number of Americans to delay retirement until the very last seconds of their lives."

Sadly accurate, I am sure...



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The Onion's View on the Ultimate OMY syndrome
Old 08-25-2014, 05:12 PM   #2
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The Onion's View on the Ultimate OMY syndrome

Report: More Americans Putting Off Retirement Until Final Few Moments Before Death | The Onion - America's Finest News Source


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Old 08-25-2014, 05:18 PM   #3
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Article summary:

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Bureau spokesperson Dolores Snyder, who told reporters that older Americans are now enjoying retired life for half an hour on average, typically long enough to have a pleasant conversation with a loved one or get started on a crossword puzzle. “Retirement’s different for everyone—some people may finish up working and then live off Social Security benefits for a few moments before passing on, while others might be able to lead active retired lives that last an entire afternoon."
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Old 08-25-2014, 05:28 PM   #4
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Though all the articles about why you shouldn't retire early might lead you to think this
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:10 PM   #5
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Sometimes when you are over at bogleheads.org and reading about people asking if they can retire on $10,000,000 you think you are reading The Onion.
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:19 PM   #6
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Article summary: Bureau spokesperson Dolores Snyder, who told reporters that older Americans are now enjoying retired life for half an hour on average,
That sounds like a great exaggeration (or taken out of context). Average retirement period for older Americans is 30 minutes before they are dead? Did I read this right? BTW, per Google results, average American retirement age is 61, and their life span is 78.7 years. That's about 18 years of retirement per person.
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:23 PM   #7
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I did not take the quote out of context! The entire article is linked in the first post - read the article yourself.
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:23 PM   #8
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The Onion is an American digital media company and news satire organization. It runs an entertainment website featuring satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news. In addition it runs a non-satirical entertainment section known as The A.V. Club, and a creative services division called Onion Labs. It says 90 percent of its web site readers are between 18 and 44 years old.[2][3] Since 2007, the organization has published satirical news audio and video online, as the "Onion News Network".[4] Web traffic on theonion.com amounts to an average of 11 million unique visitors per month.[3]
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:24 PM   #9
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That sounds like a great exaggeration (or taken out of context).
Erm.....look at the source of the article
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:29 PM   #10
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I did not take the quote out of context! The entire article is linked in the first post - read the article yourself.
I did. I was referring to the writer (not you) who may have taken things out of the context.
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:30 PM   #11
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Erm.....look at the source of the article
Chagrin. I am new to the Onion.
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:32 PM   #12
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Chagrin. I am new to the Onion.
That's what I concluded, LOL!
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:35 PM   #13
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Chagrin. I am new to the Onion.
Don't feel bad. The Peoples Republic of China has been down the same road: Onion: We just fooled the Chinese government! - CNN.com
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:38 PM   #14
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Don't feel bad. The Peoples Republic of China has been down the same road: Onion: We just fooled the Chinese government! - CNN.com
Now I feel worse!
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Old 08-25-2014, 07:02 PM   #15
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Now I feel worse!

Don't feel that bad. on the internet there are all kinds of satire sites most people have not heard of, and I've seen all kinds of big-shots repost satire articles as true.
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Old 08-25-2014, 07:10 PM   #16
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Old 08-25-2014, 07:32 PM   #17
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Old 08-25-2014, 08:09 PM   #18
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Now I feel worse!
LOL! I'm sure a lot of us have been there - I know I have. A friend posted a link to a satirical article on FB just a few weeks ago. It was a site I hadn't been to before and I fell hook, line and sinker. Looking back, I can't believe I took it as face value, but I did. After it was pointed out to me that it was satire, I made a weak attempt at saving face, which, of course, just made me look silly.

To your credit, you 'fessed up straight away!
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Old 08-25-2014, 08:13 PM   #19
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I was thinking of posting a link to this article on my Facebook account but I realized that it would hit too close to home for some of my friends and might be misinterpreted as me making fun of them.

I have been reminded twice in the past week by close friends that, because of my ER status, I am "not like most people". I need to remember that, I suppose.
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Old 08-25-2014, 10:10 PM   #20
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The Onion had fake study results that showed all types of parenting styles produced "profoundly flawed and joyless human beings" that actually got picked up as real news:

"The real-life organization was inundated with calls and emails, and even some people who worked there thought the satirical blurb was real, asking the executives when the study had been conducted. The Institute was finally forced to send out a press release stating the obvious: good parenting can lead to great things for kids and adults."

6 Times The Onion Had People Completely Fooled | Mental Floss
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