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Old 02-01-2013, 12:14 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by haha View Post
I am a little confused by the term "sandwich generation". Isn't it the nature of human biology that unless we have abstained or been prevented from procreating, we are all members of a sandwich generation?

Even if we eventually lay the old ones down on the river bank for the crocodiles and hyenas to eat, there will be some period while we are effective producers, and our children and parents not so much.

Ha
I think that the phrase "sandwich generation" refers to the special intergenerational case where folks have assumed, voluntary or otherwise, significant responsibilities for people from both the younger and older generation. They're double dipping into the pool of financial outlays for the benefit of others, likely kids and parents.

Generally, some minor involvement in the life of a parent or adult child, such as taking them out for dinner once a month, would not qualify as "significant" for most folks on this board. Having kids in college and simultaneously picking up the tab for a parent's visiting nursing service probably would be "significant" for most.

In our own case, the level of support we provide to our son and his family, due to their oldest boy having special needs, is quite significant. The help we provide to DW's mom, not as much.

It's all relative and subjective. But your point is well taken......
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Old 02-01-2013, 03:15 PM   #22
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Quoted from Braumeister
_________________________________
After my father died (in his late 70s), my mother (five years older than he was) decided she no longer had the energy to manager her own affairs, but still wanted independence.

She was still sharp mentally, just tired physically. So she gave me durable power of attorney over everything and put all her accounts in joint ownership with me (JTWROS).
___________________________________

Braumeister: do you have siblings? Did you run into any conflicts on distribution of assets and tax consequences as a result of your JTWROS? If I understand the process correctly, your mother's assets would pass to you as a joint owner tax free, but anything to your siblings would be taxable (other than life insurance where they were named as beneficiary).

I'm interested because I have multiple siblings, and my ageing mother has no interest in her finances and wants me to take care of her finances. When she passes, her assets would pass to me as JTWROS, and I would then have to pass those assets to my siblings. That could get complicated and I'm not sure of the tax consequences for my siblings on items/funds they might inherit.
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Old 02-01-2013, 03:31 PM   #23
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Sorry, I can't help you there. No siblings.

I feel for you, as this is likely to be fairly complicated. You will have to consider who will be the executor of her estate, etc.

I would think this is a situation where you and your siblings would greatly benefit (at least in terms of your peace of mind) by spending a couple of hours with a good attorney who specializes in estate matters.
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Old 02-01-2013, 04:02 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by ChainsBeGone View Post
Quoted from Braumeister
_________________________________
After my father died (in his late 70s), my mother (five years older than he was) decided she no longer had the energy to manager her own affairs, but still wanted independence.

She was still sharp mentally, just tired physically. So she gave me durable power of attorney over everything and put all her accounts in joint ownership with me (JTWROS).
___________________________________

Braumeister: do you have siblings? Did you run into any conflicts on distribution of assets and tax consequences as a result of your JTWROS? If I understand the process correctly, your mother's assets would pass to you as a joint owner tax free, but anything to your siblings would be taxable (other than life insurance where they were named as beneficiary).

I'm interested because I have multiple siblings, and my ageing mother has no interest in her finances and wants me to take care of her finances. When she passes, her assets would pass to me as JTWROS, and I would then have to pass those assets to my siblings. That could get complicated and I'm not sure of the tax consequences for my siblings on items/funds they might inherit.
One solution might be to include all the children on her assets as joint owners.
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Old 02-01-2013, 04:05 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChainsBeGone View Post
Quoted from Braumeister
_________________________________
After my father died (in his late 70s), my mother (five years older than he was) decided she no longer had the energy to manager her own affairs, but still wanted independence.

She was still sharp mentally, just tired physically. So she gave me durable power of attorney over everything and put all her accounts in joint ownership with me (JTWROS).
___________________________________

Braumeister: do you have siblings? Did you run into any conflicts on distribution of assets and tax consequences as a result of your JTWROS? If I understand the process correctly, your mother's assets would pass to you as a joint owner tax free, but anything to your siblings would be taxable (other than life insurance where they were named as beneficiary).

I'm interested because I have multiple siblings, and my ageing mother has no interest in her finances and wants me to take care of her finances. When she passes, her assets would pass to me as JTWROS, and I would then have to pass those assets to my siblings. That could get complicated and I'm not sure of the tax consequences for my siblings on items/funds they might inherit.

If it is JOWROS, then it is yours.... not your siblings.... even if she had a will the law would say it was yours...

If she wants to be able to have you take care of her finances and also pass things to all siblings, a trust would be better than what you currently have...

If she died with a modest estate (one without any estate taxes) and you got all assets and then gave to your siblings, that would be considered a gift from you to them, subject to you filing a gift tax return if over $12K (I think that is the current limit)...


I am only on my mother's checking account, but have the passwords to her main savings and investment accounts... I have only had to have her on the phone a couple of times where she tells them that they can talk to me.... all other things I do online... (this is if you do not want to do a trust)...
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Old 02-01-2013, 04:37 PM   #26
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From the poll
"the financial burdens associated with caring for multiple generations of family members are mounting. The increased pressure is coming primarily from grown children rather than aging parents."

The economic state from the last few years produced a fair number of young people who remained unemployed after finishing college, and might be on the way to become unemployable, and have to return to live at home and be supported by their parents. (The much written about "Lost Generation" in Europe, for instance) That, along with a large number of retiring baby boomers with little retirement saving, put pressure on the "sandwich" generation from both ends. And many of the working middle aged "sandwiched" folks are facing stagnating wages and job insecurity themselves. At least the magnitude of the problem is something society have not quite faced before.
Yes, I see. I was thinking of parents and children, not children who didn't make it safely out of the nest.

Bad situation for the parent and for the child.

Ha
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Old 02-01-2013, 05:19 PM   #27
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DH and I are fortunate in this respect to have no children. We know (and have set our plans accordingly) that we will be the primary care givers to my mother and my father (should he live another ten years) once we retire. All my parents assets are already in a trust, so my siblings will be equal partners in any distribution of assets. I don't worry about it, though, as having my mother live with me and providing care for her would be my benefit and true pleasure. She will, at the very least, have her own SS. Knowing her, she will not live with us without some contribution to our household. DH and I are perfectly comfortable with setting a minimal contribution so she still has money to spend on her hobbies and on her grandchildren.

My siblings and I are pretty close, so I don't worry about the financial side of it too much. If Dad passes before DH and I can retire, the siblings and I will probably kick in enough to make certain Mom can stay in their current apartment, i.e. pay the rent between the three of us. My brother's home is not set up so Mom can move freely (too many stairs) and my sister does foster care, which physically and emotionally drains Mom already. Unforeseen events brought my parents to their current situation, so none of us kids would even consider letting either of them suffer because of it. Worst case scenario is that Dad passes in the near future and Mom has to move to NY to live with DH and me.
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Old 02-01-2013, 10:45 PM   #28
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Braumeister, Texas Proud and Letj, thanks for your comments. I handle my Mom's finances much the same as does Texas Proud. I'm also the executor and these issues have begun to weigh on me. I agree that legal advice is where I need to go.
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Old 02-02-2013, 01:46 AM   #29
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For my mother, I'm fortunate that I have 6 siblings who have done fairly well and are close, so we almost "fight" over who takes care of our mother (85). She is still vey active but has some medical issues that she has to be careful not to overdo it.

One sibling who never had kids chose to take the lead ("you folks have kids, that should be your priority" is her line), but we all chip (e.g. using vacation time to spend with Mom and take over the duties to give her a break).

Through my dad's SS (he passed away about 18 years ago), their savings and the home being fully paid off she can live comfortably. At this point, in her words, time with family and friends is more important than things, so she doesn't need much else. Just having her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids visit is, she says, all she needs now. As she ages we will see, but my siblings and I have discussed things with her so we have a plan in place.

Our adult kids have it tougher economically but are trying to be independent. None of them have kids yet so that helps. We help them out with "special things", they can manage their living. The biggest thing we did (and will do for our last child) is to get them through college without any debt. That has helped them out big time even in a challenging economy.
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