The Sandwich Generation

[haha]

From the poll
"the financial burdens associated with caring for multiple generations of family members are mounting. The increased pressure is coming primarily from grown children rather than aging parents."

The economic state from the last few years produced a fair number of young people who remained unemployed after finishing college, and might be on the way to become unemployable, and have to return to live at home and be supported by their parents. (The much written about "Lost Generation" in Europe, for instance) That, along with a large number of retiring baby boomers with little retirement saving, put pressure on the "sandwich" generation from both ends. And many of the working middle aged "sandwiched" folks are facing stagnating wages and job insecurity themselves. At least the magnitude of the problem is something society have not quite faced before.

Yes, I see. I was thinking of parents and children, not children who didn't make it safely out of the nest.

Bad situation for the parent and for the child.

Ha

 

[BuysToys]

DH and I are fortunate in this respect to have no children. We know (and have set our plans accordingly) that we will be the primary care givers to my mother and my father (should he live another ten years) once we retire. All my parents assets are already in a trust, so my siblings will be equal partners in any distribution of assets. I don't worry about it, though, as having my mother live with me and providing care for her would be my benefit and true pleasure. She will, at the very least, have her own SS. Knowing her, she will not live with us without some contribution to our household. DH and I are perfectly comfortable with setting a minimal contribution so she still has money to spend on her hobbies and on her grandchildren.

My siblings and I are pretty close, so I don't worry about the financial side of it too much. If Dad passes before DH and I can retire, the siblings and I will probably kick in enough to make certain Mom can stay in their current apartment, i.e. pay the rent between the three of us. My brother's home is not set up so Mom can move freely (too many stairs) and my sister does foster care, which physically and emotionally drains Mom already. Unforeseen events brought my parents to their current situation, so none of us kids would even consider letting either of them suffer because of it. Worst case scenario is that Dad passes in the near future and Mom has to move to NY to live with DH and me.

 

[ChainsBeGone]

Braumeister, Texas Proud and Letj, thanks for your comments. I handle my Mom's finances much the same as does Texas Proud. I'm also the executor and these issues have begun to weigh on me. I agree that legal advice is where I need to go.

 

[jollystomper]

For my mother, I'm fortunate that I have 6 siblings who have done fairly well and are close, so we almost "fight" over who takes care of our mother (85). She is still vey active but has some medical issues that she has to be careful not to overdo it.

One sibling who never had kids chose to take the lead ("you folks have kids, that should be your priority" is her line), but we all chip (e.g. using vacation time to spend with Mom and take over the duties to give her a break).

Through my dad's SS (he passed away about 18 years ago), their savings and the home being fully paid off she can live comfortably. At this point, in her words, time with family and friends is more important than things, so she doesn't need much else. Just having her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids visit is, she says, all she needs now. As she ages we will see, but my siblings and I have discussed things with her so we have a plan in place.

Our adult kids have it tougher economically but are trying to be independent. None of them have kids yet so that helps. We help them out with "special things", they can manage their living. The biggest thing we did (and will do for our last child) is to get them through college without any debt. That has helped them out big time even in a challenging economy.