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Old 01-05-2015, 10:40 PM   #41
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I finished Jan 1 at 7AM. The group's been through a lot together. I do have a couple of good friends in the group. It's not a lion's den for the group, but it is for the leadership.
If you want to support your friends, invite them over to dinner. This is a business meeting. Your call.

We'll expect a full report tomorrow evening.
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Old 01-05-2015, 11:26 PM   #42
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Something to remember: There is NOTHING wrong with returning to the working world if you want to. We joke about people "flunking retirement" all the time, here, but I think that deep in our hearts we do understand.

You are a free, financially independent person. You can stay retired, or not. Nobody can keep you hostage or force you to do any work-related things. You are free to do what you want to do.

It's important to be true to yourself, and to know what you really want. If you can accomplish these feats, then you can hold your head up proudly no matter what you choose. Nobody has power over you in this matter unless you give it to them willingly.
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It is hard to say goodbye
Old 01-06-2015, 07:53 AM   #43
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It is hard to say goodbye

As a physician who retired from a toxic situation, I remember my concern for the staff and patients left behind.
Sadly you can not fix your old practice with a meeting nor can you transform an inept physician into a diligent one with a single intervention.
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Old 01-06-2015, 08:06 AM   #44
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"They won't let me go?" That's simply not true, if you go back it's your decision not theirs.

You've already gotten great advice.

I'd only add, how long has your former work group been "toxic," sounds like at least 5 years? Going back doesn't change anything or you'd have seen progress by now. Jumping back in is enabling management to keep up the toxic status quo, and prolonging the agony for your former co-workers/friends (and patients?) - and yourself.

Your intentions are admirable, but does going back really help, or just prolong the pain?

I meet with former co-workers off site, like lunch or dinner. But only those I choose to see, and unfortunately many just want to talk about work, not something I want to relive, so I don't meet with those co-worker friends anymore.
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Old 01-06-2015, 08:46 AM   #45
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No matter what you decide - good luck today and stay firm in your conviction to say no. It sounds like the practice is a hopeless situation and needs wholesale changes and a turnaround would be hampered by corporate constraints - I urge you to not get sucked in as it sounds like an impossible situation.
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Old 01-06-2015, 08:48 AM   #46
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There is no reason for you to go back.
Why would you?
If you're valuing your sanity at a price of $500 per day (or whatever they might be paying you) it probably isn't worth it.
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Old 01-06-2015, 10:02 AM   #47
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His medical care is at times downright scary. But he thinks he's God's give to managing medical practices and the higher ups love him.
I think I'm ready to confront him in a major way when we meet tomorrow and tell him exactly what I think.
What do you think? Sorry this is so long-winded.
Think about a way not to tell him but his higher ups.
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Old 01-06-2015, 10:22 AM   #48
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Wise counsel.

Could not word it better.
At least without using expletives...
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"They" won't let me go!!
Old 01-06-2015, 10:28 AM   #49
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"They" won't let me go!!

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He thinks you're EASY, and that he can use guilt or other tactics on you to save his behind. Don't let him use you like this. Now that you are retired, you can step back and never lay eyes on this person again.
Look at the thread title again. Who exactly won't let the OP go? Only herself, if she insists on codependency.
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Old 01-06-2015, 10:51 AM   #50
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I would cancel the meeting, saying I'd decided to stay retired. Surely there are more pleasant ways to earn a little money if you need to than to make yourself sick over this.
+1. That environment is toxic and not healthy for you - and you need to make YOU a priority right now.
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Old 01-06-2015, 11:07 AM   #51
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Hope you did not bother giving Dr. Jerk a piece of your mind, because it would be wasted (as you know). That only works in movies. Jerks are that way because being a jerk is what they are good at. Part of the "talent" is not give a $#!+ what others think, and another part is being unable to see themselves as in the wrong. You are too good to demean yourself by assaulting Teflon shields.

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Old 01-06-2015, 11:24 AM   #52
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The only thing I hope to hint at is a quote from Forbes magazine and elsewhere "People don't quit companies, they quit supervisors." Otherwise I'm there to be a witness. My former partners have appreciated my lack of a filter these past 3 months. And I've decided not to work for them. Not after the physical reaction I had last night.

Last night as I was posting I actually became feverish and had all kinds of joint aches-from tiny hand joints to major joints. My hips hurt this morning, but otherwise I was fine. After my workout today I feel great.

Reading all the responses including some pointed criticisms was not easy. To the person who said I misrepresented myself here, I'm not perfect and we all have moments of confusion where we are not certain of ourselves. Transitions often result in self doubt. If I misrepresented myself I assure you it was unintentional.

We'll see how today goes.




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Old 01-06-2015, 11:33 AM   #53
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You sound like you should do fine.

As far as being misrepresented, this form of communication lacks all those little clues we get in person, thus making it easier to imagine a more adversarial or friendly environment than might exist if people met in person. I suspect that most of us, sitting down face to face over a cup of coffee or glass of wine, would get along reasonably well.
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Old 01-06-2015, 11:33 AM   #54
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I don't understand why you feel so obligated about what happens in this place. Everyone is just a cog that can be replaced in the corporate mindset, so why care?

I don't usually say burn bridges, but in this case, be totally honest and let the bridge go up in flames.
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Old 01-06-2015, 11:34 AM   #55
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Good luck EastWestGal. Stand firm.
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Old 01-06-2015, 11:35 AM   #56
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Originally Posted by EastWest Gal View Post
The only thing I hope to hint at is a quote from Forbes magazine and elsewhere "People don't quit companies, they quit supervisors." Otherwise I'm there to be a witness. My former partners have appreciated my lack of a filter these past 3 months. And I've decided not to work for them. Not after the physical reaction I had last night.

Last night as I was posting I actually became feverish and had all kinds of joint aches-from tiny hand joints to major joints. My hips hurt this morning, but otherwise I was fine. After my workout today I feel great.

Reading all the responses including some pointed criticisms was not easy. To the person who said I misrepresented myself here, I'm not perfect and we all have moments of confusion where we are not certain of ourselves. Transitions often result in self doubt. If I misrepresented myself I assure you it was unintentional.

We'll see how today goes.




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Old 01-06-2015, 11:36 AM   #57
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.... so if he REALLY needs you then your salary is now 4X.... if he stammers... then say thanks but no thanks....
This could backfire - they might pay it!

I agree with the others, bail while you can and don't get pulled into the toxic soup.

It's wonderful that you do care about the patients but you cannot save the world. There are other patients in other, better run, practices that need help too if that is what you choose to do.
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Old 01-06-2015, 11:43 AM   #58
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If the OP is financially and mentally ready for ER, then there really is a simple solution to all this drama.
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Old 01-06-2015, 11:56 AM   #59
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This could backfire - they might pay it!

I agree with the others, bail while you can and don't get pulled into the toxic soup.

It's wonderful that you do care about the patients but you cannot save the world. There are other patients in other, better run, practices that need help too if that is what you choose to do.
Nope.... no way.... he thinks that he knows it all and would not offer someone 4X... that would mean that he would eventually have to offer that to others... it would be easier to hire someone new off the street with little or no experience and save money... who cares what happens to the patients...
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:08 PM   #60
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Reading all the responses including some pointed criticisms was not easy. To the person who said I misrepresented myself here, I'm not perfect and we all have moments of confusion where we are not certain of ourselves. Transitions often result in self doubt. If I misrepresented myself I assure you it was unintentional.
EWG, what I actually said was:

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Going into the lions' den is pure madness, unless you have been misrepresenting your desire to ER.
I completely agree with you about self doubt and I do believe any misrepresentation was to yourself, unconscious and unintentional. I think the truth is probably that you might not have been completely aware of your degree of attachment to your career or the guilt that you feel at "abandoning the children" and "wasting all that education and expertise". As a woman and former pediatrician myself I can speak with some authority on this. Indeed I too was subject to pressure, though the overtures were more subtle.

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And I've decided not to work for them. Not after the physical reaction I had last night.
A few months after ER I visited a friend and former colleague who is a healthcare administrator in another city. She took me on a tour of her spanking new hospital and offered me a job. I promised to think about it. I felt anxious for several days, until it awoke one morning and realized that the hospital visit was responsible for my anxiety. I called my friend to turn down the offer. The relief was immediate. It was a weight lifted off my shoulders. That's when I knew that I was not only FIRE but FREE. Free of guilt, free of obligation.

Are you FREE?
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