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01-05-2015, 09:40 PM
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#41
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,401
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EastWest Gal
I finished Jan 1 at 7AM. The group's been through a lot together. I do have a couple of good friends in the group. It's not a lion's den for the group, but it is for the leadership.
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If you want to support your friends, invite them over to dinner. This is a business meeting. Your call.
We'll expect a full report tomorrow evening.
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01-05-2015, 10:26 PM
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#42
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,500
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Something to remember: There is NOTHING wrong with returning to the working world if you want to. We joke about people "flunking retirement" all the time, here, but I think that deep in our hearts we do understand.
You are a free, financially independent person. You can stay retired, or not. Nobody can keep you hostage or force you to do any work-related things. You are free to do what you want to do.
It's important to be true to yourself, and to know what you really want. If you can accomplish these feats, then you can hold your head up proudly no matter what you choose. Nobody has power over you in this matter unless you give it to them willingly.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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It is hard to say goodbye
01-06-2015, 06:53 AM
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#43
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 63
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It is hard to say goodbye
As a physician who retired from a toxic situation, I remember my concern for the staff and patients left behind.
Sadly you can not fix your old practice with a meeting nor can you transform an inept physician into a diligent one with a single intervention.
__________________
Nothing I say should be considered medical,psychiatric,legal,financial,electrical,or plumbing advice. I know nothing about anything.
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01-06-2015, 07:06 AM
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#44
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 21,298
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"They won't let me go?" That's simply not true, if you go back it's your decision not theirs.
You've already gotten great advice.
I'd only add, how long has your former work group been "toxic," sounds like at least 5 years? Going back doesn't change anything or you'd have seen progress by now. Jumping back in is enabling management to keep up the toxic status quo, and prolonging the agony for your former co-workers/friends (and patients?) - and yourself.
Your intentions are admirable, but does going back really help, or just prolong the pain?
I meet with former co-workers off site, like lunch or dinner. But only those I choose to see, and unfortunately many just want to talk about work, not something I want to relive, so I don't meet with those co-worker friends anymore.
__________________
No one agrees with other people's opinions; they merely agree with their own opinions -- expressed by somebody else. Sydney Tremayne
Retired Jun 2011 at age 57
Target AA: 50% equity funds / 45% bonds / 5% cash
Target WR: Approx 1.5% Approx 20% SI (secure income, SS only)
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01-06-2015, 07:46 AM
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#45
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Sarasota, FL & Vermont
Posts: 36,361
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No matter what you decide - good luck today and stay firm in your conviction to say no. It sounds like the practice is a hopeless situation and needs wholesale changes and a turnaround would be hampered by corporate constraints - I urge you to not get sucked in as it sounds like an impossible situation.
__________________
If something cannot endure laughter.... it cannot endure.
Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Retired Jan 2012 at age 56
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01-06-2015, 07:48 AM
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#46
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gone traveling
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Suburbs of Mpls
Posts: 272
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There is no reason for you to go back.
Why would you?
If you're valuing your sanity at a price of $500 per day (or whatever they might be paying you) it probably isn't worth it.
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01-06-2015, 09:02 AM
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#47
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 1,202
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Think about a way not to tell him but his higher ups.
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01-06-2015, 09:22 AM
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#48
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 14,183
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ls99
Wise counsel.
Could not word it better.
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At least without using expletives...
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire
...not doing anything of true substance...
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01-06-2015, 09:28 AM
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#49
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,401
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"They" won't let me go!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
He thinks you're EASY, and that he can use guilt or other tactics on you to save his behind. Don't let him use you like this. Now that you are retired, you can step back and never lay eyes on this person again.
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Look at the thread title again. Who exactly won't let the OP go? Only herself, if she insists on codependency.
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01-06-2015, 09:51 AM
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#50
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Tampa Bay Area
Posts: 1,866
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
I would cancel the meeting, saying I'd decided to stay retired. Surely there are more pleasant ways to earn a little money if you need to than to make yourself sick over this.
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+1. That environment is toxic and not healthy for you - and you need to make YOU a priority right now.
__________________
"For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." ~
Hebrews 12:11
ER'd in June 2015 at age 52. Initial WR 3%. 50/40/10 (Equity/Bond/Short Term) AA.
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01-06-2015, 10:07 AM
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#51
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,654
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Hope you did not bother giving Dr. Jerk a piece of your mind, because it would be wasted (as you know). That only works in movies. Jerks are that way because being a jerk is what they are good at. Part of the "talent" is not give a $#!+ what others think, and another part is being unable to see themselves as in the wrong. You are too good to demean yourself by assaulting Teflon shields.
Amethyst
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
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01-06-2015, 10:24 AM
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#52
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: South central PA
Posts: 3,486
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The only thing I hope to hint at is a quote from Forbes magazine and elsewhere "People don't quit companies, they quit supervisors." Otherwise I'm there to be a witness. My former partners have appreciated my lack of a filter these past 3 months. And I've decided not to work for them. Not after the physical reaction I had last night.
Last night as I was posting I actually became feverish and had all kinds of joint aches-from tiny hand joints to major joints. My hips hurt this morning, but otherwise I was fine. After my workout today I feel great.
Reading all the responses including some pointed criticisms was not easy. To the person who said I misrepresented myself here, I'm not perfect and we all have moments of confusion where we are not certain of ourselves. Transitions often result in self doubt. If I misrepresented myself I assure you it was unintentional.
We'll see how today goes.
Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum
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01-06-2015, 10:33 AM
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#53
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: West of the Mississippi
Posts: 17,255
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You sound like you should do fine.
As far as being misrepresented, this form of communication lacks all those little clues we get in person, thus making it easier to imagine a more adversarial or friendly environment than might exist if people met in person. I suspect that most of us, sitting down face to face over a cup of coffee or glass of wine, would get along reasonably well.
__________________
Comparison is the thief of joy
The worst decisions are usually made in times of anger and impatience.
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01-06-2015, 10:33 AM
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#54
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 3,082
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I don't understand why you feel so obligated about what happens in this place. Everyone is just a cog that can be replaced in the corporate mindset, so why care?
I don't usually say burn bridges, but in this case, be totally honest and let the bridge go up in flames.
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01-06-2015, 10:34 AM
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#55
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Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 14,211
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Good luck EastWestGal. Stand firm.
__________________
Retired June 2014. No longer an enginerd - now I'm just a nerd.
micro pensions 6%, rental income 20%
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01-06-2015, 10:35 AM
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#56
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EastWest Gal
The only thing I hope to hint at is a quote from Forbes magazine and elsewhere "People don't quit companies, they quit supervisors." Otherwise I'm there to be a witness. My former partners have appreciated my lack of a filter these past 3 months. And I've decided not to work for them. Not after the physical reaction I had last night.
Last night as I was posting I actually became feverish and had all kinds of joint aches-from tiny hand joints to major joints. My hips hurt this morning, but otherwise I was fine. After my workout today I feel great.
Reading all the responses including some pointed criticisms was not easy. To the person who said I misrepresented myself here, I'm not perfect and we all have moments of confusion where we are not certain of ourselves. Transitions often result in self doubt. If I misrepresented myself I assure you it was unintentional.
We'll see how today goes.
Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum
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Don't worry. If there is one thing that brings out the dogpack it is failing to follow our instructions re: working/not working. we have a lot invested in the rightness of early retirement.
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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01-06-2015, 10:36 AM
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#57
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 25,340
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Proud
.... so if he REALLY needs you then your salary is now 4X.... if he stammers... then say thanks but no thanks....
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This could backfire - they might pay it!
I agree with the others, bail while you can and don't get pulled into the toxic soup.
It's wonderful that you do care about the patients but you cannot save the world. There are other patients in other, better run, practices that need help too if that is what you choose to do.
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
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01-06-2015, 10:43 AM
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#58
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Vancouver/Gulf Islands/Baja
Posts: 479
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If the OP is financially and mentally ready for ER, then there really is a simple solution to all this drama.
__________________
Retired at 42... the world is my oyster, and I am now in the process of shucking the hell out of it.
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01-06-2015, 10:56 AM
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#59
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 17,237
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Walt34
This could backfire - they might pay it!
I agree with the others, bail while you can and don't get pulled into the toxic soup.
It's wonderful that you do care about the patients but you cannot save the world. There are other patients in other, better run, practices that need help too if that is what you choose to do.
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Nope.... no way.... he thinks that he knows it all and would not offer someone 4X... that would mean that he would eventually have to offer that to others... it would be easier to hire someone new off the street with little or no experience and save money... who cares what happens to the patients...
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01-06-2015, 11:08 AM
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#60
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,401
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EastWest Gal
Reading all the responses including some pointed criticisms was not easy. To the person who said I misrepresented myself here, I'm not perfect and we all have moments of confusion where we are not certain of ourselves. Transitions often result in self doubt. If I misrepresented myself I assure you it was unintentional.
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EWG, what I actually said was:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh
Going into the lions' den is pure madness, unless you have been misrepresenting your desire to ER.
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I completely agree with you about self doubt and I do believe any misrepresentation was to yourself, unconscious and unintentional. I think the truth is probably that you might not have been completely aware of your degree of attachment to your career or the guilt that you feel at "abandoning the children" and "wasting all that education and expertise". As a woman and former pediatrician myself I can speak with some authority on this. Indeed I too was subject to pressure, though the overtures were more subtle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EastWest Gal
And I've decided not to work for them. Not after the physical reaction I had last night.
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A few months after ER I visited a friend and former colleague who is a healthcare administrator in another city. She took me on a tour of her spanking new hospital and offered me a job. I promised to think about it. I felt anxious for several days, until it awoke one morning and realized that the hospital visit was responsible for my anxiety. I called my friend to turn down the offer. The relief was immediate. It was a weight lifted off my shoulders. That's when I knew that I was not only FIRE but FREE. Free of guilt, free of obligation.
Are you FREE?
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