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Old 07-19-2013, 06:02 PM   #81
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Without my employment income, my wife and I will still be able to save at minimum $4000 every month - my wife wants to work for another 10 years or so. Our net worth is closer to 2 million than 1 million. We have no debts, kids, and in all likelihood I am going to inherit a seven figure sum in the future.

Yet I find myself still fretting about leaving my job... I am starting to think it may stem from a fear of dissapointing people I care about rather than a fear of not having enough money. Whatever the case, it is a problem for me right now.
To your first point: I stopped working at age 36, shortly after we reached FI. The fact that my wife wanted to work for a while longer made my decision to remain out of the workforce that much easier. Three years later, I have no regrets. Personally, I do not spend much time worrying about the possibility of running out of money because I have so many backups built into my plan. I think that financial failure would require the kind of catastrophic event that would make us all scurry for a job.

As for disappointing people with your decision to quit your job, it's a valid concern. I struggled with it too at the beginning. Some people felt like I didn't live up to my full professional potential. It's hard to argue to the contrary. Others disapproved of my decision because it did not jibe with their values. Values are personal and I can't live my life based on other people's values. So those people will have to live with their disappointment. But I will say that this too gets better with time.
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Old 07-19-2013, 06:38 PM   #82
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As for disappointing people with your decision to quit your job, it's a valid concern. I struggled with it too at the beginning. Some people felt like I didn't live up to my full professional potential. It's hard to argue to the contrary. Others disapproved of my decision because it did not jibe with their values. Values are personal and I can't live my life based on other people's values. So those people will have to live with their disappointment. But I will say that this too gets better with time.
I'm sorry, but other people can suck it. They do not have to live your life, so they can STFU about how you do so. Extend them the same courtesy and call it good.
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Old 07-19-2013, 07:02 PM   #83
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I'm sorry, but other people can suck it. They do not have to live your life, so they can STFU about how you do so. Extend them the same courtesy and call it good.
The right attitude, no doubt. Hopefully we can live by your words when you walk off the job next year!
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Old 07-19-2013, 07:21 PM   #84
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Old 07-19-2013, 09:49 PM   #85
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I don't understand the concept of people being disappointed because you are capable of retiring early based on your success to date in your career. I can understand people being surprised, since it's clearly more the exception than the norm, but what possible reason could there be for people to be disappointed that you are successful enough in your career to not need to work any more?

It sounds like it may be jealousy more than disappointment to me.

My family was certainly surprised when I told them. But clearly not disappointed.
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:16 PM   #86
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I don't understand the concept of people being disappointed because you are capable of retiring early based on your success to date in your career. I can understand people being surprised, since it's clearly more the exception than the norm, but what possible reason could there be for people to be disappointed that you are successful enough in your career to not need to work any more?

It sounds like it may be jealousy more than disappointment to me.

My family was certainly surprised when I told them. But clearly not disappointed.
I was a little worried what my dad would think, since he has always been very success oriented and that rubbed off on my brother and I as well. However, my parents were not too wild about it when I relocated a couple years ago and then got used to the idea. No doubt the same will happen when I bail. In any case, Have no doubt that anyone important to me will come to understand that it is better for me to break the Protestant work ethic and be happy rather than soldier on and be miserable.
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:35 PM   #87
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I was a little worried what my dad would think, since he has always been very success oriented and that rubbed off on my brother and I as well. However, my parents were not too wild about it when I relocated a couple years ago and then got used to the idea. No doubt the same will happen when I bail. In any case, Have no doubt that anyone important to me will come to understand that it is better for me to break the Protestant work ethic and be happy rather than soldier on and be miserable.
Interesting observation. Most of the people who were astounded when I ERd and remarked "what a waste!" we're of the Protestant persuasion. I was raised a Catholic. We are much more lazy. Definitely makes it easier to ER!
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:38 PM   #88
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I don't understand the concept of people being disappointed because you are capable of retiring early based on your success to date in your career. I can understand people being surprised, since it's clearly more the exception than the norm, but what possible reason could there be for people to be disappointed that you are successful enough in your career to not need to work any more?
People could be disappointed by your lack of work ethics, sinful idleness, waste of God-given talents, lack of contribution to society at large, etc... The younger you are, the more likely people are to see you as unemployed rather than retired. They might see as a drain on society.
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:41 PM   #89
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I'm feeling a religious theme here to all of this. Does religion suggest that one has to work to be worthy?

I've never been a fan of religion, so I don't pay much attention to any of it.
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:44 PM   #90
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I'm feeling a religious theme here to all of this. Does religion suggest that one has to work to be worthy?

I've never been a fan of religion, so I don't pay much attention to any of it.
In that you're supposed to tithe 10% to the church, maybe. If 10% of your annual "earnings" is zero because you no longer work, I suppose the church would be upset!
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Old 07-20-2013, 04:33 AM   #91
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In that you're supposed to tithe 10% to the church, maybe. If 10% of your annual "earnings" is zero because you no longer work, I suppose the church would be upset!
Maybe that's it. My devoted Catholic MIL all but accused me of being a drain on society if I retired (regardless of the fact I am completely self-sufficient financially). She also queried whether donating was part of my ER philosophy, to which I replied that not only was I willing to continue to donate as much as I currently do to charity but that I would also donate my time and effort to charitable activities from now on. She didn't have anything to say after that.
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Old 07-20-2013, 07:21 AM   #92
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"Disappointment, as uncomfortable and even painful as it can be for me and many of us, is essential and important on our journey of growth, self discovery, authenticity, and fulfillment. Making peace with disappointing others allows us to release our erroneous demands for perfection. Letting go of our fear of being disappointed by other people gives us the ability to take more risks and ask for what we truly want."

See more at: It
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Old 07-20-2013, 08:24 AM   #93
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"Disappointment, as uncomfortable and even painful as it can be for me and many of us, is essential and important on our journey of growth, self discovery, authenticity, and fulfillment. Making peace with disappointing others allows us to release our erroneous demands for perfection. Letting go of our fear of being disappointed by other people gives us the ability to take more risks and ask for what we truly want."

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Thanks for the link. I watched his Ted talk and was amazed at the story he tells about the business meeting. I found myself thinking about what I'd say in a situation like that. I went ahead and ordered his book. Even though I've probably heard it before, I like to hear this sort of message over and over again. I think I need to hear it over and over again ...
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Old 07-20-2013, 08:35 AM   #94
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I'm feeling a religious theme here to all of this. Does religion suggest that one has to work to be worthy?
Well, the Bible starts with a story about how we were living in a paradise where we didn't have to work, and then there was this snake and a naked chick, some questionable decisions get made, and before you know it, we were tossed out and doomed to "toil" all the days of our life. So basically, we have to work because we screwed up.

That is my rather loose interpretation, btw, which I'm only about half serious about. As with most things biblical, there are many ways to look at it.
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Old 07-20-2013, 09:04 AM   #95
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I'm feeling a religious theme here to all of this. Does religion suggest that one has to work to be worthy?

I've never been a fan of religion, so I don't pay much attention to any of it.
As an atheist, I don't pay any attention to it, either.
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Old 07-20-2013, 09:29 AM   #96
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Does religion suggest that one has to work to be worthy?
Buddhists do not think that it is not necessary for one to be engaged in the work force of agriculture or business in order to be considered productive.
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Old 07-20-2013, 09:38 AM   #97
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Interesting observation. Most of the people who were astounded when I ERd and remarked "what a waste!" we're of the Protestant persuasion. I was raised a Catholic. We are much more lazy. Definitely makes it easier to ER!
I am Catholic as well, but it is pretty clear that there is a strong strain of Protestantism/Puritanism in 'Merkin cuture that colors the views of everyone regardless of religion. There is a reason Merkins work the longest hours and have the least vacation in the civilized world.
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Old 07-20-2013, 09:42 AM   #98
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Interesting observation. Most of the people who were astounded when I ERd and remarked "what a waste!" we're of the Protestant persuasion. I was raised a Catholic. We are much more lazy. Definitely makes it easier to ER!
But we Catholics do feel guilty about being lazy
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Old 07-20-2013, 11:46 AM   #99
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But we Catholics do feel guilty about being lazy
Speak for yourself!
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Old 07-20-2013, 12:25 PM   #100
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Well, the Bible starts with a story about how we were living in a paradise where we didn't have to work, and then there was this snake and a naked chick, some questionable decisions get made, and before you know it, we were tossed out and doomed to "toil" all the days of our life. So basically, we have to work because we screwed up.

That is my rather loose interpretation, btw, which I'm only about half serious about. As with most things biblical, there are many ways to look at it.
All I know is...I'm not going to work until I drop just because some guy got tricked into eating an apple.
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