Tips on getting SO involved in finances...

[sgeeeee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sailor Speaking about your book SG, I'm sorry to report that my library doesn't like you When I asked to buy ESRBob book they've got 4 copies. When I requested your book, here's the response: . . .

Thanks for the feedback, sailor. Wiley Interscience probably doesn't sell many books to community libraries. The book does target technology professionals (a small target group) and because it has modest volume potential, it is also more expensive ($34.95) than larger market books. That probably doesn't help much with libraries either.

I'll forward the information to Wiley and see if they have a suggestion.

[WM]

Similar to what's already been said, DH is not especially interested in the details of our finances, although he does look at the "reports" I show him and understands the basics of what we're doing. We're both happy this way. I've made a list of all our important info and remind him periodically where it's at, and I also gave a copy to my mother, who handles the finances for her and my dad - she would be the #1 resource if I disappeared.

One question is, why do you want your husband to be more involved? Do you not want sole responsibility for how things come out in the end? Is he spending too much and just not "getting it" that he's putting off retirement by doing so? It seems like you're on the right track by equating expensive purchases with additional months of work.

[bbbamI]

WM,

I guess what bugs me the most is that sometimes I feel like the "mom". :P

And yeah, now that you mention it, I don't like the responsibility...I'm afraid I'll leave something out.

[JonnyM]

I read the gist of the thread to DW (who handles all things financial) and her comment was "leave the poor guy alone", I'm off a slightly more sympathetic opinion. Assuming you contribute equally to the partnership and he could take over in a pinch as I know I could I'd be content. Our original deal when we switched was I'd do the Cat Boxes, she'd do the financial, and it's been working for us. She's better suited to the task as she hates giving anyone any of our money before they deserve it. I would tend to pay bills too early, and not move funds to higher interest accounts. And Hey! Cleaning cat boxes is not all that great a chore either! Surely a fair deal for all concerned. 8)

[WM]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbbamI I guess what bugs me the most is that sometimes I feel like the "mom". :P And yeah, now that you mention it, I don't like the responsibility...I'm afraid I'll leave something out.

Hmmm... I have to say that although DH isn't interested in the details, it does feel like we're working together toward a goal, and the decisions we make are joint ones (albeit heavily influenced by me ) This is a lot different than feeling like the "mom."

Regarding the responsibility issue, it sounds like you've done a great job preparing for ER, if you're only 2 years out or so. Maybe it's not the perfect plan, whatever that is, but I bet you and your husband are a lot better off than if you'd sat on the sidelines. If I were you I'd feel free to pat myself on the back if no one else is going to do it

I don't know if this is a good suggestion, but instead of trying to initiate "financial" discussions, what about floating some ideas about what you'll both want to do post-FIRE? That might be a more fun way to connect on the issue, and could also, after a while, lead to discussion about what will be "affordable" given your current FIRE plans, savings rate, etc.

[bbbamI]

I take care of the finances and clean out the llitter box!

Early in our marriage, we developed our own roles in our relationship. 30 years later, we're still doing the same thing. I guess old habits are hard to break...but since we've lasted 30 years, maybe we shouldn't break them.

He and I are on the same page...he looks at the bottom line, and I analyze what's in between. Maybe I should ease up on him and myself.

Now, in a couple of years I'll be starting a thread Re: Tips on getting SO to cook dinner!

Thanks to all for wit and wisdom.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Hmmm...i do the litter box too...correlation?

[bbbamI]

Yep. Both can be a mess if you don't pick up all the pieces.

At least you know when there's a problem when "something doesn't smell right".

[cute fuzzy bunny]

By the way, I have an idea to either press the SO into the financial picture OR get them to make dinner. Tell them you'll produce a meal the minute the SO can pass a test on some aspect of the family finances.

Chances are they'll either figure it out or start cooking.

[bssc]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cute Fuzzy Bunny Hmmm...i do the litter box too...correlation?

I do the finances and DW does the litter boxes.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

There goes that correlation.

Theres always an outlier.

[Martha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cute Fuzzy Bunny By the way, I have an idea to either press the SO into the financial picture OR get them to make dinner. Tell them you'll produce a meal the minute the SO can pass a test on some aspect of the family finances. Chances are they'll either figure it out or start cooking.

Or go out to eat, as it were.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Well you'd have them there too...they'd start spending money on dinners out, the bills would pile up, and somebody'd have to pay them!