Weird reactions to early retirement announcement.

[travelover]

As others have said, this all melts away the day you walk out that door for the last time. Just smile and think about the first morning with no alarm clock waking you up.

 

[Meadbh]

Jealousy is a real problem nowadays.

I understand it has been an issue for some time.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+5:19-21&version=ESV

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy,[a] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

 

[Danmar]

Doesn't sound like you will miss work much. Ignorance and bad behaviour is quite common it would appear.

 

[Totoro]

I mostly deal with understanding, sometimes mild disbelief and confusion from my peers in their 30s. Those I can handle. Thing is though they have done MBAs and such, so either have (inherited) wealth themselves or know plenty of people who have it. Real wealth, not my pitiful FI-sum. The LBYM route though is very exceptional and challenges some world views.

Friends I studied with I shield somewhat from my financial situation. No need to create trouble. I had one friend for example going all confused on me because I didn't work for six months voluntarily. That went away by explaining I'm doing consulting work right now .. that fitted his perception of how reality works again.

I am usually vague about all this unless I think the other side is flexible enough to deal with it.

The funniest reaction (if I can use the term) is sometimes downright denial, with people going straight back to assuming I need to get up every day, sit in traffic jams, deal with co-workers, TPS forms etc .. It feels like being a visitor to a foreign land with strange cultural practices, and being happy you get to go home when you're done.

 

[FANOFJESUS]

I understand it has been an issue for some time.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+5:19-21&version=ESV

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy,[a] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Very true. I just notice more nowadays.

 

[Markola]

I'm not even retired yet but I have learned already not to say anything to anyone such as, "I plan to retire early". People aren't fascinated by your plans but they instead instantly see a mirror. What comes out of their mouth next simply reflects their own position, whether panic about their debt, their eternal spousal fights about not having enough money, fear about upcoming college tuition/s, embarrassment about their lack of savings, their unquestioned Puritan work ethic, etc. We are the richest country in history that worships the dollar and yet money is the biggest taboo subject. This forum is one of the only "places" a person can discuss money issues openly. That's only because we are anonymous, and hurray for that!


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[jcretire77]

There are knuckleheads everywhere. Congrats on your VSP and early retirement. When is your last day?

 

[W2R]

These people are appalling, but at the same time they are doing you a huge favor. They are demonstrating to you very clearly that probably they are NOT really your friends at work; they are only the [-]people[/-] blobs of protoplasm you work with. The reason this is a favor, is that when you think you miss "your friends at work" you can remember back to the cruel and/or thoughtless things they said. It will help you to be happier in retirement, because you don't have to spend your precious time interacting with such thoughtless people. Instead, you can look for other retired friends who really ARE your friends rather than these morons.

Sorry if I sounded too vehement, but that comment about your late husband was just WAY over the top and would be upsetting to anybody in your situation.

And yes, CONGRATULATIONS on your retirement!

 

[Katiek]

I can understand people being envious and scared about their own jobs and financial position, but that is no excuse for the type of comments you've posted.

 

[Bamaman]

If any of my co-workers ever retired, I would have been very happy for them. But unfortunately, I only know of one person (out of hundreds) that was ever allowed to work to age 65.

In 2008, our Lancaster County MegaCorp decided they'd try to run a $15 billion company without experienced people. Everyone 55 and older was retired in 3 waves--without notice. They cut us a deal we couldn't refuse. And it was the best thing to happen to us. Out of 75 working in our Atlanta office, 3 younger employees remain.

We were not given the chance to talk at the water fountain. They called on Thursday and said tomorrow's my last day. And I said "THANK YOU!!!!!!" 36 1/2 years is long enough to work for any company. And I was exactly 58 1/2 and got severance pay for another year--until I started getting a little into my 401K. And 7 years later, my 401K is substantially larger than when I left in spite of withdrawals and the recent turndown in the equities.

 

[bclover]

There are knuckleheads everywhere. Congrats on your VSP and early retirement. When is your last day?

so, Friday everyone got an email outlining the offer and what it would entail. the application period is from the 9th until the 30th. Supposedly I can be denied if they deem me "essential". Everyone should know by 11/15.

That's what's so baffling about the venom, technically until we get a letter stating yea or nay we're still in the same boat. if accepted the earliest I could leave (and get the severance) is 2/16

The only consolation is that a few others who said they were putting in for the vsp also got some zingers also, so I guess I shouldn't think I'm special. lol A group manager S, also put in for it and in the middle of the lunchroom one special individual said, "well S, your wife is a vet, you can live off of her.". Seriously

I also think there is some old animosity bubbling up. In 2010 the company ended the pension plan but those hired before 2009 were grandfathered in. those who were hired before 1995 will get almost full pensions. A lot of the more recent hires felt that no one should have been grandfathered in. why get mad at me?? Lol, my pay level is waaaay below those who make that call

 

[Walt34]

I can understand people being envious and scared about their own jobs and financial position, but that is no excuse for the type of comments you've posted.

Exactly.

There have been other threads about other's reactions to someone's ER and they posted similar stories, but the one referring to a deceased DH was over the top and crude.

 

[Sunset]

I feel like these reactions are the same as other situations of success. Sure there's some luck involved but success is usually the result of hard work and planning. Yours just came to fruition before others and it's not "fair" that they can't have their cake and eat it right now too.

And wanting their cake and eating it too is the reason they cannot afford to retire now. Lack of delayed gratification.

 

[Theseus]

So sorry for the rude comments, I can say I heard many similar ones... its unfortunately part of our society right now. Honestly I think it has to do with the fact most people would rather assume you "fell" into it rather than admit that they work at the same job as you, make the same income as you, and don't have two pennies to their name... ie since it can't be their fault for having no money it must be your fault by "cheating" the system somehow.

+1

I've been the recipient of a "must be nice (insert jealous nonsense here)" remark as well, and I chalked it up to the person making the comment, whom I had worked with many years earlier being pissed at themselves and/or spouse for not having the discipline to make it work for them. As I see it, they had every--maybe even more--opportunity that I did. Wasn't long after that I found my car had been keyed, and some pretty trivial stuff stolen from my yard. No evidence to support my suspicions, but sure seemed highly coincidental.

 

[Del Q]

I'm self employed in a small business and am selling to my sole co-worker who is 20 years younger than me. He's happy, so am I.

My biggest concern is the comments I hear from my clients. Our work is very hands on and we get to know our clients very well. In a small town like this I hear a lot of comments from them that I must have charged too much over the last 30 years to be able to sell out at age 50. I just saved 50% of my income for 30 years instead...

 

[ivinsfan]

I'm self employed in a small business and am selling to my sole co-worker who is 20 years younger than me. He's happy, so am I.

My biggest concern is the comments I hear from my clients. Our work is very hands on and we get to know our clients very well. In a small town like this I hear a lot of comments from them that I must have charged too much over the last 30 years to be able to sell out at age 50. I just saved 50% of my income for 30 years instead...

Well, why don't you just give all the clients a nice big rebate, so they can be happy too?

 

[FIREd]

Good thing you are retiring and won't have to work with these idiots anymore.

 

[statsman]

I guess it's the perspective of voluntarily leaving the workforce. Just about three years ago in 2012, I was laid off at 53.5 from a company I had worked at for 30.5 years. I spent 21 of my final 24 months on a WARN with a company that had been in layoff mode since mid 2007. Serious downsizing occurred in California with this company.

There were a few interviews in our area, and there were at least three possibilities to return to said company. None of them came to fruition. The last opportunity, which came crashing down last month, also involves the pending layoff of a close friend who still works there. He provided over 50% of the technical material to win the proposal and program. The company then decided he was too highly paid to be assigned to the new program. That pretty much shot down my return avenue.

Anyway, during the time since the layoff, I have had previous co-workers tell me I was fortunate to be away from that company, and if I could afford to not have to return to work, do it! They would tell me they were jealous I didn't have to work, while at the same time congratulating me for being able to do so.

I never felt I "retired" since the layoff, but with the recent opportunity I mentioned above getting squashed, I am actually thinking about it now being permanent. I wonder if the reaction of my previous co-workers, some laid off/retired, some working elsewhere or outside of California, or the few still with the company, would be the same if I said I was "retired".

My wife still works (she'll be 63 in a few months), partially because she hasn't thought about being retired, and partially for the medical coverage for us and our daughter. Work is okay, but I think she is tired of it. But with our daughter graduated from college and working the past 5 months under a temporary agreement (trial period?), the need for this coverage has become less. As soon as our daughter is hired permanently by her employer (which we expect before her one year temp period is up), I think my wife will finally be able to pull the plug. Then it will be her turn to hear the comments from fellow workers, but at age 63, I don't think she'll hear much complaining or questioning.

 

[purplesky]

First, thanks all for everyone's well thought out opinions to my thread last week about accepting a package. my corp is offering.

I've had some rather interesting discussions this morning.

So after giving it some thought I submitting my paperwork to apply for what they are calling VSP (voluntary separation program).

Of course this is all the topic today and to make matters worse there was an article in a Delaware newspaper over the weekend that painting a not so nice picture for the future.

Mods, delete if we're not supposed to link stuff.

DuPont CEO Kullman's exit seen as turning point for company, Delaware

Anyhoo, me and a few others told some coworkers that we were accepting the package.
comments have been eye opening to say the least.

1) "must be nice to have a rich husband leave you a bunch of money".
So I jokingly say, that while my late husband did love us enough to make sure he had all his ducks in a row, losing your spouse at 52 is not a route I would suggest anyone to take.

2) " I wish I could lounge around the house and do nothing, some of us have to work for a living"
WTF correct me if I'm wrong but 22 years at the same company did require me to leave the house every once in a while

just as an example.

Now I hope I'm being sensitive to the fact that there is a real fear around the watercooler today. people are truly frightened about the future of their jobs, I get it but dang it all, what is with the "I'm miserable, let me make you equally as miserable" attitude.

and another compadre J who put in his application is fielding some snide cracks.

Did anyone else get this when they said they were retiring early. wow

Don't take those comments personally. Your coworkers are just reacting to a scary situation and basically just venting and processing the reality of mega corp. layoffs.

Congratulations on your path to early retirement.

 

[rayinpenn]

Congrats,
For every unhappy person who made an unkind remark there are 20 who wish you the best... Let your smile be your sword and the back of your head be your answer. "Go from the presence of a foolish man, in whom thou perceivest not the lips of knowledge. "

Have you read How to retire happy, wild and free? Might be a starting roadmap.


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[bingybear]

I got some equally mean comments from some relations by marriage. But most were happy for me, some have noted they are jealous of us... but always in a nice way, they wish they could retire too. Recently I had a friend tell me that she wished she had been smart enough to start saving earlier. She just started a few years ago on saving for retirement.
I'm sure other things are said behind my back.
I had a great send off from my last company. Really great set of people.
Sorry you had such cruel comments.

 

[Moemg]

Sorry you got some weird remarks and really sorry your husband passed !

 

[brett]

It was easier for us. We sold our house and travelled. Now we rent and travel. Many people think that we are using the proceeds from our house to finance our ER and extensive travel. We sometimes get the odd question about it...which we ignore.

We do not bother to change what they think. What others think, other than spouse and children, has never been a significant concern to me (sometimes to my spouse's chagrin). I cannot change how they think and I won't spend the time to determine what motivates their comments.

 

[FreeBear]

Frankly it's not surprising. I blame it on the negative social conditioning that's going on all around us. The drive at work for promotions and pay raises: knowing that they're limited and "if you get it, I won't" plus the whole materialistic, keeping-up-with-the-Jones's attitude everywhere.

When I retire I'm just going to give my notice and not go into the details. Those coworkers that want to know can come and ask and I'll tell them individually, as well as extend the offer to describe to them how I went about ER. I'm interested to see who wants to hear the details, I can't really tell despite having been with most of my coworkers for 4 years now.

So don't let it get you down. As others have said, it's just jealousy and a sign of the concern for their own futures.

+1 Spot on.

When DW and I ER'd, we had a cover story. A few figured it out, we told a few more later, privately. It just made leaving that much easier. So we were spared "sour grapes" and most said they were happy we got out on our terms and with dignity.

 

[FreeBear]

I'm not even retired yet but I have learned already not to say anything to anyone such as, "I plan to retire early". People aren't fascinated by your plans but they instead instantly see a mirror. What comes out of their mouth next simply reflects their own position, whether panic about their debt, their eternal spousal fights about not having enough money, fear about upcoming college tuition/s, embarrassment about their lack of savings, their unquestioned Puritan work ethic, etc. We are the richest country in history that worships the dollar and yet money is the biggest taboo subject. This forum is one of the only "places" a person can discuss money issues openly. That's only because we are anonymous, and hurray for that!


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+1 Agreed Marko (bold). Excellent observation, as usual!

FB