Weird reactions to early retirement announcement.

[ivinsfan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Del Q I'm self employed in a small business and am selling to my sole co-worker who is 20 years younger than me. He's happy, so am I. My biggest concern is the comments I hear from my clients. Our work is very hands on and we get to know our clients very well. In a small town like this I hear a lot of comments from them that I must have charged too much over the last 30 years to be able to sell out at age 50. I just saved 50% of my income for 30 years instead...

Well, why don't you just give all the clients a nice big rebate, so they can be happy too?

[FIREd]

Good thing you are retiring and won't have to work with these idiots anymore.

[statsman]

I guess it's the perspective of voluntarily leaving the workforce. Just about three years ago in 2012, I was laid off at 53.5 from a company I had worked at for 30.5 years. I spent 21 of my final 24 months on a WARN with a company that had been in layoff mode since mid 2007. Serious downsizing occurred in California with this company.

There were a few interviews in our area, and there were at least three possibilities to return to said company. None of them came to fruition. The last opportunity, which came crashing down last month, also involves the pending layoff of a close friend who still works there. He provided over 50% of the technical material to win the proposal and program. The company then decided he was too highly paid to be assigned to the new program. That pretty much shot down my return avenue.

Anyway, during the time since the layoff, I have had previous co-workers tell me I was fortunate to be away from that company, and if I could afford to not have to return to work, do it! They would tell me they were jealous I didn't have to work, while at the same time congratulating me for being able to do so.

I never felt I "retired" since the layoff, but with the recent opportunity I mentioned above getting squashed, I am actually thinking about it now being permanent. I wonder if the reaction of my previous co-workers, some laid off/retired, some working elsewhere or outside of California, or the few still with the company, would be the same if I said I was "retired".

My wife still works (she'll be 63 in a few months), partially because she hasn't thought about being retired, and partially for the medical coverage for us and our daughter. Work is okay, but I think she is tired of it. But with our daughter graduated from college and working the past 5 months under a temporary agreement (trial period?), the need for this coverage has become less. As soon as our daughter is hired permanently by her employer (which we expect before her one year temp period is up), I think my wife will finally be able to pull the plug. Then it will be her turn to hear the comments from fellow workers, but at age 63, I don't think she'll hear much complaining or questioning.

[purplesky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bclover First, thanks all for everyone's well thought out opinions to my thread last week about accepting a package. my corp is offering. I've had some rather interesting discussions this morning. So after giving it some thought I submitting my paperwork to apply for what they are calling VSP (voluntary separation program). Of course this is all the topic today and to make matters worse there was an article in a Delaware newspaper over the weekend that painting a not so nice picture for the future. Mods, delete if we're not supposed to link stuff. DuPont CEO Kullman's exit seen as turning point for company, Delaware Anyhoo, me and a few others told some coworkers that we were accepting the package. comments have been eye opening to say the least. 1) "must be nice to have a rich husband leave you a bunch of money". So I jokingly say, that while my late husband did love us enough to make sure he had all his ducks in a row, losing your spouse at 52 is not a route I would suggest anyone to take. 2) " I wish I could lounge around the house and do nothing, some of us have to work for a living" WTF correct me if I'm wrong but 22 years at the same company did require me to leave the house every once in a while just as an example. Now I hope I'm being sensitive to the fact that there is a real fear around the watercooler today. people are truly frightened about the future of their jobs, I get it but dang it all, what is with the "I'm miserable, let me make you equally as miserable" attitude. and another compadre J who put in his application is fielding some snide cracks. Did anyone else get this when they said they were retiring early. wow

Don't take those comments personally. Your coworkers are just reacting to a scary situation and basically just venting and processing the reality of mega corp. layoffs.

Congratulations on your path to early retirement.

[rayinpenn]

Congrats,
For every unhappy person who made an unkind remark there are 20 who wish you the best... Let your smile be your sword and the back of your head be your answer. "Go from the presence of a foolish man, in whom thou perceivest not the lips of knowledge. "

Have you read How to retire happy, wild and free? Might be a starting roadmap.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum.

[bingybear]

I got some equally mean comments from some relations by marriage. But most were happy for me, some have noted they are jealous of us... but always in a nice way, they wish they could retire too. Recently I had a friend tell me that she wished she had been smart enough to start saving earlier. She just started a few years ago on saving for retirement.
I'm sure other things are said behind my back.
I had a great send off from my last company. Really great set of people.
Sorry you had such cruel comments.

[Moemg]

Sorry you got some weird remarks and really sorry your husband passed !

[brett]

It was easier for us. We sold our house and travelled. Now we rent and travel. Many people think that we are using the proceeds from our house to finance our ER and extensive travel. We sometimes get the odd question about it...which we ignore.

We do not bother to change what they think. What others think, other than spouse and children, has never been a significant concern to me (sometimes to my spouse's chagrin). I cannot change how they think and I won't spend the time to determine what motivates their comments.

[FreeBear]

Quote:

Originally Posted by l8_apex Frankly it's not surprising. I blame it on the negative social conditioning that's going on all around us. The drive at work for promotions and pay raises: knowing that they're limited and "if you get it, I won't" plus the whole materialistic, keeping-up-with-the-Jones's attitude everywhere. When I retire I'm just going to give my notice and not go into the details. Those coworkers that want to know can come and ask and I'll tell them individually, as well as extend the offer to describe to them how I went about ER. I'm interested to see who wants to hear the details, I can't really tell despite having been with most of my coworkers for 4 years now. So don't let it get you down. As others have said, it's just jealousy and a sign of the concern for their own futures.

+1 Spot on.

When DW and I ER'd, we had a cover story. A few figured it out, we told a few more later, privately. It just made leaving that much easier. So we were spared "sour grapes" and most said they were happy we got out on our terms and with dignity.

[FreeBear]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markola I'm not even retired yet but I have learned already not to say anything to anyone such as, "I plan to retire early". People aren't fascinated by your plans but they instead instantly see a mirror. What comes out of their mouth next simply reflects their own position, whether panic about their debt, their eternal spousal fights about not having enough money, fear about upcoming college tuition/s, embarrassment about their lack of savings, their unquestioned Puritan work ethic, etc. We are the richest country in history that worships the dollar and yet money is the biggest taboo subject. This forum is one of the only "places" a person can discuss money issues openly. That's only because we are anonymous, and hurray for that! Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

+1 Agreed Marko (bold). Excellent observation, as usual!

FB

[martyp]

I ER'd at 55 and had the totally opposite reaction. Not a single negative comment. Everyone was happy for me. I had a great retirement party and since then I've been a source of inspiration for others. No kidding! A friend retired this year earlier than he had been expecting and credited my experience for influencing his decision. I still have pleasant lunches with former work colleagues every couple of months.

[48Fire]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bclover Did anyone else get this when they said they were retiring early. wow

Yep, some as pointed as, "I hate you!" Oh well, didn't like you either

[Live And Learn]

Wow, you work with some awful people!

Congratulations on your decision. I will cross my fingers for you that they accept your request.

[38Chevy454]

Wow, the things that people say. I guess in your case the saying "Jealousy rears it ugly head" is all too true. Although the only consolation I can offer is just look forward to that day when you can tell them all bye-bye! Not good bye, they are not worth it.

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rec7 Jealousy is a real problem nowadays.

For sure, and it was never seen on the earth before 2013. People are surely going to the dogs. it must be due to sugar.

[inky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rayinpenn Let your smile be your sword and the back of your head be your answer.

What a great phrase! Reminds of one of my favorite quotes, by Robert J. Sawyer:

"Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace."

[Meadbh]

They're not going to get into the kingdom of heaven anyway, and you are!

[Dreamer]

It amazes me how some people can be so insensitive. I am always grateful that I do not have family that are like this. Can you imagine being married to the person that said these things to you?

Congrats on making your decision and hoping that they will let you retire. I hope that the time passes quickly that you have to work with these insensitive clouts.

[pb4uski]

BC, what a bunch of dweebs!

What they did would piss me off enough that I would be tempted to give them the "L" sign and mutter "Loser" under my breath loudly enough that they could hear.

I'm thankful that my colleagues were happy for me when I retired early. My attitude to someone who retired early would be "Good for them!".

[Danmar]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markola I'm not even retired yet but I have learned already not to say anything to anyone such as, "I plan to retire early". People aren't fascinated by your plans but they instead instantly see a mirror. What comes out of their mouth next simply reflects their own position, whether panic about their debt, their eternal spousal fights about not having enough money, fear about upcoming college tuition/s, embarrassment about their lack of savings, their unquestioned Puritan work ethic, etc. We are the richest country in history that worships the dollar and yet money is the biggest taboo subject. This forum is one of the only "places" a person can discuss money issues openly. That's only because we are anonymous, and hurray for that! Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

+1. Well said.
Where I worked, early retirement was quite common, almost the norm. Nobody I would speak to would ever be so ignorant to say something like that, even if they thought it.