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What could Megacorp offer to stop you from ER?
Old 04-16-2013, 05:18 AM   #1
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What could Megacorp offer to stop you from ER?

I was inspired by sengsational's post on another thread, so I wanted to ask the question differently, and not hijack that thread. DW is on board with the decision, parents as well, so only thing stopping me is myself, and whatever Megacorp throws at me.

I am a couple days from telling my supervisor of my intentions to retire. We are very busy, so I anticipate a lot of push back, but likely just talk about how great the work is. I would accept a "retaining package", maybe equal to each month I work, so essentially getting paid double-time.

Here is what sengsational posted:
"Because there are some awesome things that I can't do, like spend a couple of weeks at my uncle's farm and spend a couple of weeks on a friends sail boat and, and, and. If they'd give me 20 weeks of vacation instead of two, we could talk. Otherwise, I'm outta here!"
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Old 04-16-2013, 05:49 AM   #2
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I've been with this employer for 17 years. The money is good, I get six weeks and two days paid time off, the people are great and the work is very challenging. You could say they already provide what it takes to keep me off the farm.
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Old 04-16-2013, 06:47 AM   #3
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I remember telling a Rep from HR in my exit interview what might or might not work to retain me at MegaCorp. What would not work was my old telecommute deal because at that point even one day a week was too often a trip to the office - I was so burnt out from the commute I so despised. I would have to make the trip less often than that, once a month tops. And I would have to be put back on the group health insurance plan (regardless of my weekly work hours) even if I were paying the whole premium. I knew both were non-starters, of course.
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Old 04-16-2013, 07:36 AM   #4
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Increase my life expectancy by 30 years. When they came back with only 20, I said not good enough and was out of there. "Your Money or Your Life" book couldn't be more right.
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Old 04-16-2013, 08:18 AM   #5
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Increase my life expectancy by 30 years. When they came back with only 20, I said not good enough and was out of there. "Your Money or Your Life" book couldn't be more right.

It's good to remember that life has a "best used by" date when Megacorp is offering various "Carrots" to keep us in the job.


A month ago my supervisor winked, smiled, and said she'd like for me to stay for three more years. I just about fell out of my chair when she gave me a page summarizing this years' "Carrots". :


1. Bonus - 38% this year.
2. Stock options - 10% of annual salary. Vesting over three years.
3. Annuity - $300 per month vests July this year. Over next few years, builds up $100 per month annually.
4. Raises - 8% this year.

I am in the oil industry. 55+ workers are retiring in droves, and there is a shortage of workers. At the same time, the oil industry is doing better than it has in decades. Oil and money are squirting out of the ground at a rate not seen since the 1980's. I've never seen oil companies do this before with their workers !

I think that if they offered me two days a week work, I'd stay on the job a while longer. Maybe three days if I got company health insurance.
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Old 04-16-2013, 08:31 AM   #6
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Honestly, I don't know. I'm at the point where I'm still a few years out from ER, at this point I'd say 3-7, depending on my mood at the time, the economy, etc. That would put me at anywhere between the age of 46-50.

Right now, the only things that would make me ER before the age of 46 would be if the old "BS bucket" filled up too quickly at work, the economy suddenly took off so fast that I hit my financial goal early, or I got some unexpected windfall that put me to my financial goal.

Once I hit "my number" I don't think anything could keep me at work. But, if the "BS Bucket" filled up too quickly before that time, a substantial raise would do the trick. How substantial? I dunno. Once they take out all the taxes, SS, retirement, and insurance, I only see about 46 cents on the dollar as it is. That's partly because I max out my 401k though. If I got a big enough raise, I might actually see my takehome percentage increase a bit, since my 401k contribution as a percentage would go down.

So, even if I got a $10,000 raise, I'd be lucky to see an increase of $400 per month, takehome. So, a big raise might keep me around for a little bit, but I'd just end up socking that extra money away into after-tax investing most likely, and hitting my financial goal even sooner.

I think the one thing that's most likely to keep me working is myself. Once I get to that "number", I might be tempted to pull the "one more year" thing.
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Old 04-16-2013, 08:42 AM   #7
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Increase my life expectancy by 30 years. When they came back with only 20, I said not good enough and was out of there. "Your Money or Your Life" book couldn't be more right.
Stay healthy, eat right, exercise, maintain a healthy weight, do a little dance, make a little love.
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Old 04-16-2013, 09:33 AM   #8
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A three day work week at the same salary, in addition to current vacation and health insurance, working from home with minimal travel would be somewhat tempting.

My work is interesting enough that some of it is more like a hobby, but the quantity of it is why I am planning on ER.
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Old 04-16-2013, 09:45 AM   #9
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A three day work week at the same salary, in addition to current vacation and health insurance, working from home with minimal travel would be somewhat tempting.
.
They've offered to increase by bonus by 25% if I stay to March. I told them it wasn't worth staying another 6 months (my target date is August).

The arrangement posted by Jollystomper however would be tempting and keep me for another year or two.
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Old 04-16-2013, 09:56 AM   #10
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1. Hot water in the bathroom
2. A magic wand with which I could zap people or entire departments that appear to be totally worthless. This magic wand would also work on executives and political appointees.
3. A toaster oven in our "kitchen". And a second microwave.
4. Employee appreciation days weekly (instead of annually) where they serve something besides hot dogs and warm soda. And the CEO would have to kowtow before me while serving me my non-hot dogs.
5. Add a few more floors to the building so that my current penthouse suite is higher up and expand my office so I can see both sides of downtown instead of just one currently.
6. Ensure that all my direct reports and everyone to whom I report are smarter than me.
7. Don't require me to submit time sheets or work any certain number of hours
8. Permit me to use up to five expletives in any work related correspondence or email without receiving any sternly worded emails from HR regarding proper and effective workplace communications
9. Allow me to hire a "second" that I can send to any required training or really boring meetings on my behalf
10. Eliminate all meetings
11. Design and implement a stupid filter for my email that would automatically delete all incoming emails that could potentially be deemed stupid

Not that I have a list or anything...
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Old 04-16-2013, 10:10 AM   #11
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Once I decide to leave someplace (whether for another job, or my future retirement), nothing has ever been able to change my mind.

I made myself a promise a long time ago that as an employee, I would never accept a counteroffer, and as an employer/manager, I would never extend one. And in a way, the company trying to offer you something to stay on board instead of retire is still a counteroffer, even if you're not going to another company.

The only way I would ever stay someplace, instead of pursuing another job or retiring, is if they offered what I call "CRAZY STUPID" money. Meaning, the company would be crazy and stupid for offering it, and I'd be crazy and stupid to turn it down.

Example...let's say I make in the low six figures. "Crazy stupid" money would be my employer offering me $500,000 a year to stay. And not some bogus combination of salary, options that vest over years, etc. It would have to be base salary, with no strings attached. It's crazy, it's stupid, and it's never going to happen, so that's why MegaCorp has never been able to keep me after I've decided to leave, and never will.
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Old 04-16-2013, 10:21 AM   #12
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My organization was in the midst of downsizing and reorganization. I ER'd because I realized my job wasn't going to be interesting or fun anymore. So . . . I guess if I flipped that thought around I could say that I would have stayed if they could have offered some sense that the future held some fun and interesting work for me.

My last 6 months was excruciating so basically they would have had to keep me very busy and double my salary and I may have stayed another 6 months. Really . . . once I realized I was FI my life perspective changed to the point that continuing to w*rk was not much of an option at any price.
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Old 04-16-2013, 10:44 AM   #13
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What drove me away was the ageist attitude, the expectation of 24/7 monitoring of cell and text messages and ridiculous travel and working hours while off site. It was never a question of money.
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Old 04-16-2013, 11:01 AM   #14
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The money is good, I get six weeks and two days paid time off, the people are great and the work is very challenging.
What planet do you live on?

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Old 04-16-2013, 11:19 AM   #15
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What planet do you live on?

Planet Lucky ?
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Old 04-16-2013, 11:40 AM   #16
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Easy:

- allow me to telecommute all the time

- reduce my travel to the minimum necessary to get the job done

- let me take days off over my vacation allowance without pay

Considering my employer has a take-it-or-leave it attitude with emloyees, I suspect I might as well ask them for a purple unicorn to ride to work every day.
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Old 04-16-2013, 12:07 PM   #17
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Once we hit our FI # range there isn't a single thing they can offer that would make it worthwhile to stay.
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Old 04-16-2013, 01:39 PM   #18
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Well, I already telecommute 95% of the time, going into the factory a couple of days per month. I get over six weeks paid time off each year (but have been too busy to use it the past two years and I'm now dangerously close to hitting my accrual cap). I like my boss and coworkers, great benefits, get paid well, and get stock options and bonuses.

All this, and I still hate my job! Once, we were a fast opportunistic company that knew how to compete. But gradually over the past decade, we have become slow and procedural (i.e. bureaucratic). I've been here 25 years, and it's just not fun anymore. I can stick it out a few more years until I'm 55, but then, there will be nothing they can offer to make me stay.
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Old 04-16-2013, 01:44 PM   #19
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What could Megacorp offer to stop you from ER?
That ship sailed last year. They could double my salary now and I'll still be gone by my retirement date. Offering something when I do give notice will definitely be too late.
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Old 04-16-2013, 01:51 PM   #20
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What planet do you live on?

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Planet Lucky ?
Does that include holidays? We get 6 weeks, three days but do not have any business driven holiday.
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