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Old 02-04-2016, 10:18 AM   #181
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Wow- did that hit home. I'm a retired actuary- got my credentials when only 10% of our members were female.
Insurance company or consulting firm? I'm guessing insurance company.

In a consulting firm you'd have almost zero politics.
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Old 02-04-2016, 10:29 AM   #182
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My first boss back in the Byzantine era always had a soft spot for the "lookers". He always justified it by saying, "A pretty woman can do just as good as job as an ugly one can".


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LOL. A very good friend of mine, let's call him "john" owns a bar not far from Madison square garden. we always get into a "tiff", I just tweak his nose because after every Rangers and knicks games, his waitstaff/bar are the "Double-D" gang. Bartender and every server is a 'looker" with.... well you get the picture.

He makes no apologies, evidently the members of gentlemen persuasion drop much more money on booze and bar food when it's served up by some Double-D's. Evidently after every game, eager young lads come in and tip really well for the "lookers".
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Old 02-04-2016, 02:14 PM   #183
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Insurance company or consulting firm? I'm guessing insurance company.

In a consulting firm you'd have almost zero politics.
The job I left was a large, privately-owned brokerage so a bit of a hybrid.

As for consulting firms, it all depends. I worked for one very small one (6 people) that was a small, dysfunctional family. Those politics were probably worse than at the place I left when I retired, but I was 42, divorced with a 12-year old son to support, so I got another job.


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BTW, my career has been stagnant for a long, long time because of similar reasons (that you cited) despite accomplishments, advanced degrees and continuous education. However, I am not bitter about it. The career has enabled FI in my mid 50s.

I know- I'd make the same career choice all over again. It just irks me that so many people got away with so much crap because I was too "nice" to call them on it. I'll get over it!
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Old 02-04-2016, 06:14 PM   #184
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LOL. A very good friend of mine, let's call him "john" owns a bar not far from Madison square garden. we always get into a "tiff", I just tweak his nose because after every Rangers and knicks games, his waitstaff/bar are the "Double-D" gang. Bartender and every server is a 'looker" with.... well you get the picture.

He makes no apologies, evidently the members of gentlemen persuasion drop much more money on booze and bar food when it's served up by some Double-D's. Evidently after every game, eager young lads come in and tip really well for the "lookers".

I suspect there are a few of us "old lads" who fall victim still, too!


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Old 02-04-2016, 06:42 PM   #185
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Originally Posted by bclover View Post
LOL. A very good friend of mine, let's call him "john" owns a bar not far from Madison square garden. we always get into a "tiff", I just tweak his nose because after every Rangers and knicks games, his waitstaff/bar are the "Double-D" gang. Bartender and every server is a 'looker" with.... well you get the picture.

He makes no apologies, evidently the members of gentlemen persuasion drop much more money on booze and bar food when it's served up by some Double-D's. Evidently after every game, eager young lads come in and tip really well for the "lookers".
The only problem I see here is "if" it takes me 6 to 8 drinks before they become lookers.

However, this discussion is worthless without pictures.
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Old 02-04-2016, 06:51 PM   #186
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2015 was my third OMY and the W2 that just arrived in the mail makes me glad I kept at it. What I didn't give up last year was about 6% of my retirement savings on the top line, which may not seem like much, but it's over a decade of living expenses (excluding income taxes) so it sure feels significant. Something else I didn't give up was the welcome distraction of spending time where results are at least approximately proportional to effort, I'd sure hate to be working for that psychopath Mr Market full time.
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Old 02-04-2016, 07:15 PM   #187
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Here are some of my deciding factors.
1) hate my job.
2) company is going down the drain quickly. just got notification that we will not get a raise AND they are cutting the 401K match by 3%
3) I am literally getting sick from the stress of coming to work.
4) I hate my job.
5) this one is probably more emotional. Since 2012 I have lost 3 loved ones to cancer. My husband, my little brother and my best friend. all 3 of them were under 55 years young. All were healthy, ate right, exercised yada yada yada. I have been made acutely aware that there is no guarantee of reaching real retirement age.

I"m stepping out on faith.
I never hated my work. Never in my working career.

I also loved my part-time consulting work. They paid me fairly well, and I was picky about what work I would do. But company politics are unavoidable, as was envy from full-timers despite their inability to do what I did. I was also getting older, and I felt that my remaining time on earth was running out. I could be bribed, but they would have to pay me a lot more to continue.
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Old 02-06-2016, 07:13 PM   #188
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If you got laid off and decided to FIRE, its not really a decision you made. If you requested severance and got it, that would be a decision you made. If you gave up a job and got a big pension, you only gave up a partial amount.

When you finally declared FIRE, what was your number that you gave up?
When my spouse and I read "Your Money Or Your Life" and the first "Millionaire Next Door" book, we'd already been a dual-military couple for a decade. We were well on our way to financial independence but we'd assumed that we'd need two active-duty pensions to make it work.

A few years later, as I approached my active-duty retirement, her assignment officer made an unrefuseable offer. The issues are far beyond the scope of this thread, but the choices were clearly "take it or leave it". When you have 16 years of active duty, the assignment officers are unaccustomed to having this bluff called.

While my spouse continued negotiating, I dug into our finances. We eventually confirmed that if she had "just" a Reserve pension (to go with my active-duty pension) then our investments only had to cover the 20-year gap between them. When I did the rest of the math on that calculation, it turned out that she was giving up "only" $750K. Plan B was finding a job with enough income to fill in any cracks in our planning.

She eventually submitted her resignation letter, and of course none of the chain of command believed her. (Back in the second-millennium Navy that was just another assignment negotiation bluff tool.) She left active duty for the Reserves at 17 years, 11 months, and 10 days.

The huge improvement in our quality of life was unbelievable. She did eight years of drill weekends & annual training and then retired awaiting pay (in 2022). Even the assignments were unbelievable, including a half-dozen trips to Thailand. It turned out that we didn't need any of her Reserve pay and we ended up donating it to charities.

By giving up her active-duty income, we became rich beyond our wildest dreams.

Even more incredible over the last 15 years has been the number of unsolicited job offers-- full time, part-time, and freelance-- that came through her Reserve network. It made me realize that I should've joined the Reserves at the 12-year point instead of gutting it out to 20. I would probably have worked a few extra years to nail down our FI, but now we'll never know. I would definitely have lowered my stress and avoided two hugely disruptive transfers to new duty stations.
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Old 02-07-2016, 08:47 AM   #189
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I should have stayed in the military instead of getting out in 4 years!
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Old 02-07-2016, 09:13 AM   #190
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So true. Don't compare yourself to others. Only compare yourself to your own standards that you set.

The biggest reason I crave early retirement and am determinedly making it happen ASAP is so that I can actually live by my own standards. By definition, standards in the workplace are set by others. The higher I go in management the more those others are hyper-competitive, workaholic ENTJs who are barely recognizable as human at times. My drive is to get myself free of those types so I have liberty to set my own standards.


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Old 02-07-2016, 09:26 AM   #191
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I would definitely have lowered my stress and avoided two hugely disruptive transfers to new duty stations.
In my megacorp, it was understood that if you declined a transfer you would be passed over future promotions. I was in a good place making good money and I declined 3 transfers (what they give you other chances?), finally negotiating a transfer that I wanted after 8 years. Those 8 years of relative stability made a big difference in our life. Common knowledge and practice turned out to be a crock.
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Old 02-07-2016, 11:58 AM   #192
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I should have stayed in the military instead of getting out in 4 years!
Ditto!
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Old 02-07-2016, 10:15 PM   #193
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I should have stayed in the military instead of getting out in 4 years!
Not for me! (please note that I loved my time in the USAF and wouldn't trade it for anything but it was a stepping stone to my future not my final destination )
I was in for 8.5 years and then left to work overseas, was the absolute best decision for me.
Met my wife, bought our dream retirement home with cash and significantly exceeded our financial goals and we both will FIRE next year at 50!
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