What income did you give up?

[kcowan]

I put an employee on the high potential female list. She did really well and eventually became a VP. But then she crashed because I think she had relied on her appearance to get agreement too much. (I suspect she did not realize it.)

So when it came to making side deals to get ahead, she was out of her depth. I felt really bad because I really liked her as a peer.

 

[athena53]

I believe I was only successful because I dramatically changed my behavior. I'm sure many people thought I was the B-word. I saw that the only successful women in my field were all type A. They stood up to men in meetings and didn't back down. It seemed to be the only thing that was respected (at least at all the companies I worked). I was nice on a personal level but when it came to business it was all non-emotional fact based A/B/C. And I would come home exhausted and emotionally drained because while I was successful at work it wasn't me. About 5 years ago I suffered a back injury and went back to "me"...and stopped getting promoted and was once again passed over, out of the loop, ignored. My career turned back into a JOB and while I was still rated highly I knew that I was done. If I wasn't willing to go into meetings and be forceful and argue with the other engineers then I wasn't going to get ahead any longer.. that is a sad realization but very true.

Wow- did that hit home. I'm a retired actuary- got my credentials when only 10% of our members were female. Although I did work I loved, worked with (mostly) great people and traveled to wonderful places I never thought I'd see on the company dime, I still spend time wondering why my career didn't really go anywhere for the last 10 years and my early retirement was prompted by toxic politics I didn't want to deal with anymore. I'm reading a book on Bear Stearns during the financial crisis ("House of Cards") and it looks like the way guys deal with testosterone-fueled tantrums is to sling it right back. I never did that- never. One perceptive boss described me as "non-confrontational". Then I realized that if I HAD learned to sling it right back, I would have been labeled with the b-word. Sometimes I wish I could do parts of my job over, but I'm just glad I don't have to work for a living anymore.

 

[bclover]

I just received my review, bonuses and raise this week. Annual salary and bonuses are right at $122,500. (4 weeks vacation, 4% 401K match, etc.) Not much different than past years. When I look at that number, I wonder if I am a fool to give it up. (I am giving it up, that thought just runs through my head a bit.)

Of course, even if I worked until I was 70, I would have the same issue. People would line up around the block for a job that paid that amount, but most would be unqualified.

If you got laid off and decided to FIRE, it’s not really a decision you made. If you requested severance and got it, that would be a decision you made. If you gave up a job and got a big pension, you only gave up a partial amount.

When you finally declared FIRE, what was your number that you gave up?

I took a severance package and I admit there are some days that I stress about whether or not I'm doing the right thing. My last day is 3/31 and then I go to part time for 6 months. I got a years salary and 3 months health insurance.
Of course I just tore my meniscus and will need surgery to repair it. lol. when it rains it pours.
My salary not including raises or bonuses which in the last few years have been zilch is 75,000

Here are some of my deciding factors.
1) hate my job.
2) company is going down the drain quickly. just got notification that we will not get a raise AND they are cutting the 401K match by 3%
3) I am literally getting sick from the stress of coming to work.
4) I hate my job.
5) this one is probably more emotional. Since 2012 I have lost 3 loved ones to cancer. My husband, my little brother and my best friend. all 3 of them were under 55 years young. All were healthy, ate right, exercised yada yada yada. I have been made acutely aware that there is no guarantee of reaching real retirement age.

I"m stepping out on faith.

 

[travelover]

I took a severance package and I admit there are some days that I stress about whether or not I'm doing the right thing. My last day is 3/31 and then I go to part time for 6 months. I got a years salary and 3 months health insurance.
Of course I just tore my meniscus and will need surgery to repair it. lol. when it rains it pours.
My salary not including raises or bonuses which in the last few years have been zilch is 75,000

Here are some of my deciding factors.
1) hate my job.
2) company is going down the drain quickly. just got notification that we will not get a raise AND they are cutting the 401K match by 3%
3) I am literally getting sick from the stress of coming to work.
4) I hate my job.

Congratulations. I can relate to #'s 1,3 & 4

 

[Spanky]

Wow- did that hit home. I'm a retired actuary- got my credentials when only 10% of our members were female. Although I did work I loved, worked with (mostly) great people and traveled to wonderful places I never thought I'd see on the company dime, I still spend time wondering why my career didn't really go anywhere for the last 10 years and my early retirement was prompted by toxic politics I didn't want to deal with anymore. I'm reading a book on Bear Stearns during the financial crisis ("House of Cards") and it looks like the way guys deal with testosterone-fueled tantrums is to sling it right back. I never did that- never. One perceptive boss described me as "non-confrontational". Then I realized that if I HAD learned to sling it right back, I would have been labeled with the b-word. Sometimes I wish I could do parts of my job over, but I'm just glad I don't have to work for a living anymore.

Be glad that you did not resort to a change of behavior or personality just to climb the corporate jungle. The price to pay may not worth it, i.e., stress to perform, frustration of not getting things done or dealing with others, constant battle with others for power or recognition. Life is too short to fight over things (such as fame, power, recognition, and money) that may not matter anyway in the end. Enjoy the "short" journey with peace and harmony while we still can.

BTW, my career has been stagnant for a long, long time because of similar reasons (that you sited) despite accomplishments, advanced degrees and continuous education. However, I am not bitter about it. The career has enabled FI in my mid 50s.

 

[Big_Hitter]

Wow- did that hit home. I'm a retired actuary- got my credentials when only 10% of our members were female.

Insurance company or consulting firm? I'm guessing insurance company.

In a consulting firm you'd have almost zero politics.

 

[bclover]

My first boss back in the Byzantine era always had a soft spot for the "lookers". He always justified it by saying, "A pretty woman can do just as good as job as an ugly one can".


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

LOL. A very good friend of mine, let's call him "john" owns a bar not far from Madison square garden. we always get into a "tiff", I just tweak his nose because after every Rangers and knicks games, his waitstaff/bar are the "Double-D" gang. Bartender and every server is a 'looker" with.... well you get the picture.

He makes no apologies, evidently the members of gentlemen persuasion drop much more money on booze and bar food when it's served up by some Double-D's. Evidently after every game, eager young lads come in and tip really well for the "lookers".

 

[athena53]

Insurance company or consulting firm? I'm guessing insurance company.

In a consulting firm you'd have almost zero politics.

The job I left was a large, privately-owned brokerage so a bit of a hybrid.

As for consulting firms, it all depends. I worked for one very small one (6 people) that was a small, dysfunctional family. Those politics were probably worse than at the place I left when I retired, but I was 42, divorced with a 12-year old son to support, so I got another job.

BTW, my career has been stagnant for a long, long time because of similar reasons (that you cited) despite accomplishments, advanced degrees and continuous education. However, I am not bitter about it. The career has enabled FI in my mid 50s.

I know- I'd make the same career choice all over again. It just irks me that so many people got away with so much crap because I was too "nice" to call them on it. I'll get over it!

 

[Mulligan]

LOL. A very good friend of mine, let's call him "john" owns a bar not far from Madison square garden. we always get into a "tiff", I just tweak his nose because after every Rangers and knicks games, his waitstaff/bar are the "Double-D" gang. Bartender and every server is a 'looker" with.... well you get the picture.

He makes no apologies, evidently the members of gentlemen persuasion drop much more money on booze and bar food when it's served up by some Double-D's. Evidently after every game, eager young lads come in and tip really well for the "lookers".

I suspect there are a few of us "old lads" who fall victim still, too!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Car-Guy]

LOL. A very good friend of mine, let's call him "john" owns a bar not far from Madison square garden. we always get into a "tiff", I just tweak his nose because after every Rangers and knicks games, his waitstaff/bar are the "Double-D" gang. Bartender and every server is a 'looker" with.... well you get the picture.

He makes no apologies, evidently the members of gentlemen persuasion drop much more money on booze and bar food when it's served up by some Double-D's. Evidently after every game, eager young lads come in and tip really well for the "lookers".

The only problem I see here is "if" it takes me 6 to 8 drinks before they become lookers.

However, this discussion is worthless without pictures.

 

[dunkelblau]

2015 was my third OMY and the W2 that just arrived in the mail makes me glad I kept at it. What I didn't give up last year was about 6% of my retirement savings on the top line, which may not seem like much, but it's over a decade of living expenses (excluding income taxes) so it sure feels significant. Something else I didn't give up was the welcome distraction of spending time where results are at least approximately proportional to effort, I'd sure hate to be working for that psychopath Mr Market full time.

 

[NW-Bound]

Here are some of my deciding factors.
1) hate my job.
2) company is going down the drain quickly. just got notification that we will not get a raise AND they are cutting the 401K match by 3%
3) I am literally getting sick from the stress of coming to work.
4) I hate my job.
5) this one is probably more emotional. Since 2012 I have lost 3 loved ones to cancer. My husband, my little brother and my best friend. all 3 of them were under 55 years young. All were healthy, ate right, exercised yada yada yada. I have been made acutely aware that there is no guarantee of reaching real retirement age.

I"m stepping out on faith.

I never hated my work. Never in my working career.

I also loved my part-time consulting work. They paid me fairly well, and I was picky about what work I would do. But company politics are unavoidable, as was envy from full-timers despite their inability to do what I did. I was also getting older, and I felt that my remaining time on earth was running out. I could be bribed, but they would have to pay me a lot more to continue.

 

[Nords]

If you got laid off and decided to FIRE, it’s not really a decision you made. If you requested severance and got it, that would be a decision you made. If you gave up a job and got a big pension, you only gave up a partial amount.

When you finally declared FIRE, what was your number that you gave up?

When my spouse and I read "Your Money Or Your Life" and the first "Millionaire Next Door" book, we'd already been a dual-military couple for a decade. We were well on our way to financial independence but we'd assumed that we'd need two active-duty pensions to make it work.

A few years later, as I approached my active-duty retirement, her assignment officer made an unrefuseable offer. The issues are far beyond the scope of this thread, but the choices were clearly "take it or leave it". When you have 16 years of active duty, the assignment officers are unaccustomed to having this bluff called.

While my spouse continued negotiating, I dug into our finances. We eventually confirmed that if she had "just" a Reserve pension (to go with my active-duty pension) then our investments only had to cover the 20-year gap between them. When I did the rest of the math on that calculation, it turned out that she was giving up "only" $750K. Plan B was finding a job with enough income to fill in any cracks in our planning.

She eventually submitted her resignation letter, and of course none of the chain of command believed her. (Back in the second-millennium Navy that was just another assignment negotiation [-]bluff[/-] tool.) She left active duty for the Reserves at 17 years, 11 months, and 10 days.

The huge improvement in our quality of life was unbelievable. She did eight years of drill weekends & annual training and then retired awaiting pay (in 2022). Even the assignments were unbelievable, including a half-dozen trips to Thailand. It turned out that we didn't need any of her Reserve pay and we ended up donating it to charities.

By giving up her active-duty income, we became rich beyond our wildest dreams.

Even more incredible over the last 15 years has been the number of unsolicited job offers-- full time, part-time, and freelance-- that came through her Reserve network. It made me realize that I should've joined the Reserves at the 12-year point instead of gutting it out to 20. I would probably have worked a few extra years to nail down our FI, but now we'll never know. I would definitely have lowered my stress and avoided two hugely disruptive transfers to new duty stations.

 

[Spanky]

I should have stayed in the military instead of getting out in 4 years!

 

[Markola]

So true. Don't compare yourself to others. Only compare yourself to your own standards that you set.

The biggest reason I crave early retirement and am determinedly making it happen ASAP is so that I can actually live by my own standards. By definition, standards in the workplace are set by others. The higher I go in management the more those others are hyper-competitive, workaholic ENTJs who are barely recognizable as human at times. My drive is to get myself free of those types so I have liberty to set my own standards.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum

 

[kcowan]

I would definitely have lowered my stress and avoided two hugely disruptive transfers to new duty stations.

In my megacorp, it was understood that if you declined a transfer you would be passed over future promotions. I was in a good place making good money and I declined 3 transfers (what they give you other chances?), finally negotiating a transfer that I wanted after 8 years. Those 8 years of relative stability made a big difference in our life. Common knowledge and practice turned out to be a crock.

 

[aja8888]

I should have stayed in the military instead of getting out in 4 years!

Ditto!

 

[Lucantes]

I should have stayed in the military instead of getting out in 4 years!

Not for me! (please note that I loved my time in the USAF and wouldn't trade it for anything but it was a stepping stone to my future not my final destination )
I was in for 8.5 years and then left to work overseas, was the absolute best decision for me.
Met my wife, bought our dream retirement home with cash and significantly exceeded our financial goals and we both will FIRE next year at 50!