MichaelB ,
Thanks, as for my fil, he’s become much more than my mil can handle. He’s going into depression since he believes he’s a burden and unfortunately he can’t answer open questions anymore. I know he just forgot about what unconditional love is since he’s lost his way. My father has schizophrenia for most of his life and is heavily medicated so luckily I have more time with him; I just have to make the most of it.
Texas Proud,
I believe Warren Buffet was referring to those investors that manage their own portfolio, not those that need to trust there FA to do manage their portfolio. Have you ever asked those clients if they understand every fund they’re invested in, I’d say maybe less than 10% do since I know many don’t even know what they’re invested in. I couldn’t imagine giving either parents Warren Buffets advice since they simply didn’t understand and had no desire, therefore trust in there advisor was key.
I didn’t mean to try to make it complicated, I just wanted to be part of the 10% that’s trying to understand, albeit at a very slow pace, but I figured no question is a stupid question, although I know some will disagree with that. Eventually my plan is to make all my own financial decisions; I just don’t know how long that will take as my spare time is limited based on my commitments, and sorry family doesn’t come second.
Dawg52,
I know you’ve helped me in the past and I thank you for your reply again. I know I should have made our finances a priority during the last year but………. I made my family the priority. One of the reasons I retired early is I was slowly losing them, I know I can’t take back the past, but I can dam well try to make up for it in any way I could. This year I had to rely on my FA as I made several promises to all my family which I plan to keep even if it means losing some money. Maybe some of you don’t understand, but you’re not here to judge as I’ve never had that right either. I was lucky in that some advisors in the past admitted fault even though they came highly recommended, so I was able to learn from their mistakes.
doneff,
At this point in my life, I agree I need a good FA, and there is no sense in making excuses.
Meadbh,
You’ve already judged me and I’ve been placed on ignore, therefore, I need to ask myself why I’m even replying since even though advisors have admitted fault on several occasion, as you say, “He must be a difficult client, because he does not trust anyone”.
ERD50,
I believe my frustration is making it more complicated for me, the fact that I maybe making it more complicated in my thread, well that’s no joy either.
For the car guy analogy, this actually did happen and this is the direction I took. The first thing I did before giving any advice is to get them to calm down. I then asked if they wanted me to help educate them since it can get a bit confusing although with the right direction it doesn’t have to be. Since they asked that I help educate, I started off by stating never changing your oil is not one that should ever be considered. Then I started to explain how all engines are not created equal in that a Mazda RX7 rotary engine isn’t the same as there Corvette LS9 engine, therefore require different oils not only based on their engine, but also driving habits and time of year. I then explained that the mechanics recommendation was incorrect in that they requested you use the oil in the owner’s manual but you didn’t mention that you race your car at Canadian Tire Mosport Park which will break down your oil much quicker based on the added friction created by taking your engine to its limits. I would then make sure we were both on the same page and they had the information needed to make wise decisions re there oil.
You see, the automotive owner’s manual is a guideline, the factor service manual is the bible and at around 1000 pages on some cars it has much more in-depth information based on many different variables. Simply recommending to refer the manual may not be the right answer as there are more than one manual. Being a newbie, this person wouldn’t have known this, but an experienced licensed auto mechanic should have asked more questions mainly based on this car being built to be driven on a track, therefore different grades of oil should be used based on driving habits being only one factor. I also wouldn’t have handed them the 3 book FSM and recommended they do their own research, since they came to me for advice, rather than direction, after all I wouldn’t expect that of others if I were in the same situation. If in the future they wanted to learn everything about their car, then the FSM manual was always available to them and my help came with it.
Koogie,
Thanks for the encouraging words, I am a member of FWF and can relate to what you’re saying, recently I received a pm from an undisclosed member apologizing for some of the harsh word in one of my threads. I don’t have thick skin but do realize I have to take the heat if I want to remain part of both forums. It’s been said by some members that there are those that don’t realize that some of their posts can be harsh to newbies or anyone for that matter. Sort of reminds me of a time I sat in a sexual harassment suit, where as “unwanted behavior” was the critical word. Ya see the person doing the harassment didn’t see anything wrong with their actions, (maybe since they weren’t on the receiving end) even after it was explained to them. They were charged with the offense.
Thanks for the link, but it will have to be on hold as I’m on my way to my parents place to watch over my father.
NW-Bound,
Thank you for both your reply and recommendation.
ERD50,
Yes I do see the help that is being offered, unfortunately it sometimes comes with baggage and just as some members get frustrated with my posts, it works both ways.
“Help me out here”, where did I say, “I don’t seem to like the answers”, I could carry this much further but I have to ask whether there is any advantage to either one of us, or this forum, and to me the answer is clear.…..No! Since I have nothing to gain by doing so.
NW-Bound,
Thanks for adding humor to this thread, it’s welcome.
and good luck with your FIL.
