What made you truly feel successful?

[DrRoy]

In one sense, becoming FI.

In another, having people say that they like my photography.

 

[retire2020]

I think I have done quite all right, considering my background as a young immigrant who came to this country without any connection, any knowledge of even how the college admission worked. And I got through graduate school in 4-1/2 years, and made enough money to retire early in reasonable comfort.

Same here. Came to this beautiful country in 1984 at age of 19. Worked odd jobs and started college in Jan 1986. Graduated with BS/MS(honors) in Electrical Engg in 3-1/2 years. Landed a job and never looked back. Back home we were so poor that my parents skipped many meals, us kids had bare minimum and two pairs of clothes where one had patches. We were born LBYM...

My greatest achievement was to bring my family to this country and help them settle. Feel satisfied that I made a HUGE diff in their lives and they are all doing well! Every time I see them, I feel good about myself!

 

[Lawrencewendall]

2 adult DSs, both Eagle Scouts, both college grads, both fully empl*yed . Been with DW for 33 years, will RE at 57 in 4 years. It's all good.

 

[donheff]

I did well in my career and was viewed as top management worthy but I always felt like I was one step ahead of the sheriff. Stuff always seemed to fall in my bag. I think it was a combination of high, but not stellar, smarts and an engaged and positive attitude. Still, it seemed to me there were a lot of more talented people around me who could easily take my place. The factor that seemed to make the biggest difference for me and for about half the others who did as well or better was attitude. I remember seeing a movie titled, "The Extra Step," in my new employee orientation session in the government and took it to heart. I always counseled employees who wanted career advice that being that person who stepped up to the plate without being asked counts for a lot.

 

[pjigar]

I'm in. I did it my way.

All my life I did as much as I could of what I wanted to do and the least amount possible of what other people wanted me to do.

You could call me a lifetime "slacker"

In college I soon found that there were 2 ways to go;
1) Study hard to get the best grades possible
[-]2) Study as little as possible to still get out while maximizing "party time"
[/-] I graduated with a Electrical Engineering degree and a [-]2.4[/-] 3.6 GPA.

My work experience was similar.
I learned that management was not for me, a complete waste of time. I [-]was[/-] am very good at what I [-]did[/-] do and [-] I did the absolute minimum required[/-] I work just enough to fulfill my job duties. [-]Came in late and left early. Retired with millions at 59.[/-]

You only have a limited amount of life. Live it your way!

+1. Sorry to blatantly copy your repose but this has been my life (more or less) so far. Successful is a relative term like lot of things in life. If you feel that you are successful then you are. I am certainly successful to have lived life exactly the way I want and with the people I care about.

 

[street]

I have never felt on top of the word or being successful. However I do feel blessed and fortunate what life has given me. And this is why>>>>

If there is a food in your fridge, you have shoes and clothes, you have bed and a roof, you are richer then 75% of the people in the world.

If you have a bank account, money in your wallet and some coins in the money-box, you belong to the 8% of the people on the world, who are well-to-do.

 

[Danmar]

The factor that seemed to make the biggest difference for me and for about half the others who did as well or better was attitude. I remember seeing a movie titled, "The Extra Step," in my new employee orientation session in the government and took it to heart. I always counseled employees who wanted career advice that being that person who stepped up to the plate without being asked counts for a lot.

Agree with this. Attitude is very important. Always taking the management view while being able to tactfully speak your mind to your bosses will go a long way.

I often hear statements like " I was very good at my job but couldn't stand the meetings and BS and only did the minimum to survive" seem at odds to me.

 

[Markola]

Realizing I didn't need to worry about things like being considered successful.
.

I know this attitude is the right answer for me -eventually- but I am still in the management mode that Danmar described above, requiring a success attitude with my 11 staff and savvy gamesmanship when managing up. I can't exactly start wearing shorts and a t-shirt everyday to the office and I don't want to. I mostly enjoy this job in a large nonprofit and feel that it contributes to community, so "meaning" is there. I hope that once I quit in a few years after benefiting from decades of progressive responsibility, I will have the luxury of not worrying about further achievement and can focus more on DW me and where and how we want to spend the day. And, ideally, we'll let go of the instinctual climbing and our success navigating hierarchies that, when I'm honest, funded our ability to finally let go of them.

 

[Rianne]

I have never felt on top of the word or being successful. However I do feel blessed and fortunate what life has given me. And this is why>>>>

If there is a food in your fridge, you have shoes and clothes, you have bed and a roof, you are richer then 75% of the people in the world.

If you have a bank account, money in your wallet and some coins in the money-box, you belong to the 8% of the people on the world, who are well-to-do.

This is something as Americans we forget or never realize. We have clean water, sorry except for Flint, MI, bombs are not going off outside our homes, grocery stores with an abundance of food and affordable foods. Many homeless are offered a place to stay but choose not to stay there. I know this from working with them in my earlier years. I've not traveled to these countries, but think of India, Africa, parts of Asia...seriously we are so fortunate here.

 

[Bir48die]

I'm not really in love with the term "success" or "successful". Most people here retired early because they had some success in their workplace (or maybe were just lucky). Many of us have made impressions on other people by mentoring them or just believing in them. I personally do not feel that is something that I need to feel or reflect on. However I do like it when people mention they are "blessed". That's what I feel I am.

I did love the comment about the sons coming back and telling them the parents raised them the best they could. In different ways both my boys came back and said I wasn't the idiot they thought I was. As they mature and go through the same things we did it all of the sudden becomes clearer to them how life works.

Outside of that I am just really grateful.

 

[jollystomper]

I know I have made a difference in many people's lives, because they tell me. It makes me feel successful knowing I have helped make their journeys in life a little easier.

+1

My wife very much appreciates our life together. While some of my kids have not accomplished what I wanted them to accomplish, I am thankful that they are on track to accomplish something, and are now expressing appreciation for both the "soft" and "tough" love I had displayed towards them.

Several times I have run into adults that I worked with in some way, shape or fashion when they were young, and am shocked at how much they appreciate the little things I did (or did not do) and how they felt it mad them successful.

Those things make me feel more of a "success" than the many successful projects and dozens of monetary awards and trips Megacorp has awarded me over the years.

 

[ls99]

To me the ultimate success was making it to relative ER. The small ones along the years were not getting killed doing the various endeavors I was involved in.

Ten years in retirement to me is truly a success, hoping for at least another ten to cap it off.

 

[athena53]

When I was 22 I would have defined "success" as having a high-power career, accumulating enough to be FI and traveling to interesting places.

Career: finishing the actuarial exams a BIG success but I was 30. No time to rest on my laurels. Never hit the C-suite, never got beyond VP, but enjoyed what I did, worked with a lot of smart people (still friends with many) and got to more places on the company dime than I ever expected.

FI: Yeah, I got that. Partly luck, partly good decisions.

Travel: heck, yeah. Posting this from on-board WiFi on IcelandAir; added 3 new countries to my list this year (Greenland, Costa Rica, Panama).

Unexpected:

Family. Finally decided I wanted kids at 30, married and had DS at 31, divorced at 44, remarried at 50, widowed at 63 last year after a very happy marriage. I'm a grandmother!

Spiritual: finally found a group of kindred spirits at age 38 after 20 years outside of organized religion. They've been a source of sustenance through the changes in my life. Even met second DH in a Bible Study group.

I don't know if I'd feel "successful" if any of those components were missing. My life has had twists and turns that haven't been part of my siblings; lives- they'e more traditional, married to original spouses, not as much into travel, had kids earlier- but I wouldn't have done it any other way.

 

[imoldernu]

Success?
DW and I are completely happy with our long lives.

Could not ask for more.

 

[ejman]

Very simple for me- I always had a terrible case of the Sunday blues. This black cloud would descend on me because I had to go back to work on Monday. When I ER'd at 52 (15 years ago) this black cloud finally lifted and I felt wonderful! Successful? yes!

 

[Starsky]

I like this topic because it is so different for different people.

For me, success started by deciding not to follow the herd. At several times in my life, I took paths that others would rarely consider conventional to expand my horizons. I took several gap years in my career to travel, make music and finally to retire early. I have enjoyed taking calculated risks and my life is far better as a result. This definition of success was something I felt early in life, long before I had any financial success.

I started to feel most successful when I was able to help others advance their careers and lives in meaningful ways. As a manager who didn't fit the typical mold in my Fortune 50 company, I enjoyed growing my people into higher positions and inspiring their careers. I know for certain I was able to help several members of my teams to make huge leaps and bounds in their careers through coaching and encouragement, and that was by far the most satisfying thing I've ever done. I knew that I wasn't only improving their lives, but also the lives of their wives, children and families. I considered it a huge privilege of my position.

Lately in retirement, I have begun to reconnect with old musical friends and play in different bands. The success I have enjoyed recently is the ability to rekindle these old relationships after many years and to fit right back into the creative process like nothing ever changed, with great musicians who never stopped making music. The ability to show up and play a three-hour show on a day's notice is a skill I didn't know I had, and it feels great - like I've reached a skill level I didn't know I could. It's one of the good things about getting older...

And finally, who can say that early retirement doesn't make you feel successful? When I see my peers still tied up in the rat race, and consider my freedom, I feel amazing. I know that our retirement is the result of a lot of hard work and sacrifice and I am more than proud, I am truly grateful to be able to have the day for myself.

Life is good!

 

[travelover]

Success for me is being able to sit on my computer and BS with y'all instead of slaving away in Cubeville overseen by a petty boss who thinks he has achieved success.

 

[Retiredmajor]

This is a great question and really caused me to think!
I feel successful because:

• We've raised 4 children who are educated, employed and seem happy!
• My wife and i have been married for 37 years and still like each other
• I served my nation for over 21 years
• I've been in leadership positions my whole adult life and have helped guide and develop other people and other leaders
• I can retire at age 60 with "enough" money
• I'm happy!!!

Major

 

[W2R]

I wasn't brought up in the era when every single student won a blue ribbon in spelling bees or sports or whatever at school, whether they earned it or not. To me, success is not a "feeling"; it's a fact. Either I succeed at something or I don't.

In other words, "The proof is in the pudding", as they say.

I set goals, I work towards them, and if I reach those goals then I am successful to that extent. Some goals were set very high, and it was very gratifying when I succeeded at some of those particular goals.

 

[pacergal]

--waking up every morning to rejoice in another glorious day
--DH and I together for 43 years, married for 39 years next week
--2 beautiful kids and 2 lovely grandkids
--great extended family support
--enjoyable career, retiring with "enough" for me

 

[braumeister]

I'm not one of the top tier folks who can claim real success, but I have never felt unsuccessful. No real failures at anything and I've had a good life so far.

What does give me a certain amount of pride is having a few younger friends who think I have a bit of wisdom and ask me for advice. That's just priceless and I hope I never let them down.

 

[Nightcap]

"Until he is dead, do not yet call a man happy, but only lucky."

-- Solon of Athens, 640 BCE - 558 BCE

Success is fleeting, and we know where the paths of glory lead. I do not consider myself successful. I am content, and that is enough.

 

[Mdlerth]

The Incredibles

In the animated movie, supervillain Syndrome tells superhero Mr. Incredible "When everyone is special, no one will be."

He's right. We can't all be the champion. I don't get any satisfaction from my participation trophy. There are millions of ordinary guys like me, raising ordinary families, winding up ordinary careers. If I were ice cream, I'd be vanilla.

I expect I'd feel more successful if I weren't so average: I'm spectacularly average.

 

[googily]

That when DH was diagnosed with cancer at 54, we were able to look at our lives and each other and know that we had lived the sort of lives that plenty of people in this world who live to 90 never get to experience. There was so much left to do, but his shortened life had been filled with his making it to the absolute top of his profession, and that our time together was filled with good salaries and fabulous travel and great meals and a deep love and appreciation for each other.

You always want more, of course, but I know we hit the jackpot. And there is nothing I will ever feel a greater appreciation for in the rest of my life than this, alongside the terrible sadness that the life of such an amazing man didn't get to stretch on.

 

[gayl]

I was homeless twice (5 yrs old & 16-19 yrs old when my mom didn't want me around anymore) and on food stamps for a month when I couldn't feed my baby (24 yrs old). Can't believe I'm admitting that. Still managed to:

Graduate UC Berkeley with honors b4 21
Graduate grad school
2 surviving kids - both homeowners in SF Bay Area
7 grandkids living within 2 miles (1 temporarily @ college on merit grants)
We get together daily
Actively collect for my 2 favorite charities : Food Bank + Wardrobe for Opportunity
FIRE
Trading act 1% of NW, still accumulating $$s

Long way from homeless without a family