What Women Want

[SlowTwitcher]

Lowflyer,
you're right of course. It always comes down to a bell curve. The couples originally
discussed are in the lower percentages in regard to communication, trust, financial
savvy, ...

Another thread (which I can't seem to find) discussed the quality of education in America including illiteracy, low test scores, etc... I wonder if this isn't just fine
though. After all, you don't need a college degree to perform half the jobs.
Nor would you want the tuition bills and headaches. As a youngster you get to
choose (for the most part) where you want to fit on the bell curve in regards to
success, measured only by earnings of course.

[kramer]

Quote:

Here I saw 4 perfect examples of women who want to expand their lifestyle and maintain their leisure and freedom while keeping their husbands in the workforce. I know for a fact that 3 of the couples are better off financially (total savings and not just income) than me. I suspect all of them are. My DW seems just as incredulous that just because she fills her days with whatever she pleases that I would want to do the same.

2B, this was a great post. While this is obviously not true in every case (or even most), it certainly is common. This is quite close to the attitudes of the married folks in my extended family.

My mom almost worked my dad to death (he is dead now). It was so sad to see him continue working in his own tax and accounting business while my mom's housing improvement projects continued at an average pace of about $30K per year and miscellaneous spending was out of control. Even my dad's clients almost couldn't believe that he continued working in his sad medical condition and he even lost some business as some clients thought he wouldn't live much longer. We begged her to stop, begged her to downsize from their large home for years, to no avail.

Finally, when my dad literally could not work anymore and the checks stopped coming in as he sold his business, as in he could not even move around the office without extreme pain, she agreed to move to a place they had inherited earlier in the year when my dad's mom had died. It was sad to see my dad's last years lived out like this. He died just about three months after transitioning his business. He spent his last months worrying as my mom was threatening to buy a second home with their limited funds close to the grandkids. After he died, my mom decided not to do this.

Kramer

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2B Unstopping toilets and clearing drain lines are within the capabilities of most chemical engineers.

No doubt, but what do you do with the explosive residue?

[LeatherneckPA]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HaHa BTW, the details differ but it isn’t too easy to predict what a man will be like 25 years down the road either. -Ha

Yep, we want a beer and we wanna see something naked.

[2B]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nords No doubt, but what do you do with the explosive residue?

Remember, I used to work at NASA.

[2B]

Quote:

Originally Posted by retiredbop Yep, we want a beer and we wanna see something naked.

I would be slightly more specific with the last part but agree overall.

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2B Remember, I used to work at NASA.

I usually tell our kid "Do it this way, but you don't wanna know how I learned that."

[LeatherneckPA]

I guess I'm pretty lucky in this regard. My DW has always been the frugal type. Add to that the fact that she is enraptured with the "simple, colonial lifestyle" and you have a person tailor maid for ER and simplifying our current lifestyle.

Somehow, she has also come to accept delegate me in the position of "head researcher in charge" as she "can't be bothered". "Besides, you retain everything you read so much better than me." (Only time in our 25 years that she tells me I'm better at something is when it's something she doesn't want to do.)

The plus side of this is that pretty much anything I suggest or say we have to do is almost always accepted, and we work toward that point together.

Yep, I'm a lucky man.

[Ibid]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cube_rat I have a friend who's 40-ish and has designed her life around trapping financially successful husbands and digging for gold.

I see you're friends with my sister.

[Meadbh]

My parents had more of a partnership. They did all major planning together and made good financial decisions, though they each did keep independent accounts. While there was no frivolous waste, we did not want for the good things in life. Dad retired at 63, exactly when he wanted to, and golfed for the next few decades till his health gave out. My mom was really well provided for. When he saw her estate the lawyer wondered "where did she get all that money?"

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by retiredbop Yep, we want a beer and we wanna see something naked.

Right. Anything female that is at least 20 years younger than whomever we married.

On a related topic, has anyone noticed the acres of cleavage on display this week at your local fashion mall? Who says Christmas is boring?

Ha

[Khan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HaHa Didn't you say that you were married for a short time when you were young, and then divorced, and have remained single since? Great advice, no doubt, but what makes you think it can be followed? Ha

If we had sat down to negotiate a mission statement, we might not have been married in the first place.

It probably won't be followed.
Any suggestion of such discussion/negotiation is met with cries of: "Love conquers all."

Heck, maybe there should be temporary marriage contracts, where you only have to commit for 5 or 10 years or until the last child graduates high school.

[2B]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khan Heck, maybe there should be temporary marriage contracts, where you only have to commit for 5 or 10 years or until the last child graduates high school.

Good concept. I used to work with a guy who was a total lech/borderline pervert. The same month their third child graduated from high school his wife left him. She was pretty hot even without a "considering her age" qualifier. He developed his porn collection further. If he had any sex, I'm sure direct cash was involved. I'm sure she found a better relationship.

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by retiredbop Somehow, she has also come to accept delegate me in the position of "head researcher in charge" as she "can't be bothered". "Besides, you retain everything you read so much better than me." (Only time in our 25 years that she tells me I'm better at something is when it's something she doesn't want to do.)

I claim that if I do 95% of the paperwork and the driving then I get to make the same proportion of the mistakes...

[firewhen]

This is probably generational. When we were growing up, in the 60/70's, almost none of the moms worked, and that was the role models we had--husbands as breadwinners and wives with the kids. It all changed after that, where a majority of mothers with children are working today. These women were in the earlier generation and they and their husbands expectations were already set and probably will never change.

My wife worked throughout our marriage, almost 15 years, including the births of 2 kids, until recently when we decided it was too much to manage, and after taxes and childcare there was not that much left anyway.

I have been talking about ER and the costs of healthcare then, and she voluntarily suggested maybe she would go back to work then for benefits. I thought this was amazing, but would prefer for us to both ER because then we would be freer with more options. We never specifically spoke about financial goals before we were married, but thankfully have similar viewpoints, although I still watch expenses more than her.

[Goonie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donzo Another great example of - who you marry is the biggest investment you make in life.

Or in my case who you don't marry! I was engaged to a gaping money pit woman that had nothing saved, was in debt up to her ears, and always wanted more! (I didn't learn of her financial state early on) I cut her loose as quick as I could, and now she bleeding some poor sap to death.....he'll probably have to work till he's 90....unless he wises up and kills dumps her!

As for my present state, I'm a card carrying member of the Little Rascals "He-man Woman Haters Club" I do have to admit though, that I will go out with them as long as THEY'RE buying!!!

[lifeisgood]

Man, I'm going to have to take the wifey out to the jewelry store and get her a little token of appreciation. In contrast to those four sad couples, I think she really loves me, i.e. is willing to extend herself for my welfare. She encouraged me to ER 7 months ago, and has never make a snide coment about me hanging around the house. She frequently daydreams about downsizing the 5,000'er (although this may have more to do with having less to clean).

With this quaint family life, we may be giving our daughters unrealistic expectations, but we agree with Donzo:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donzo Another great example of - who you marry is the biggest investment you make in life.

Great post!

[audreyh1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kramer Finally, when my dad literally could not work anymore and the checks stopped coming in as he sold his business, as in he could not even move around the office without extreme pain, she agreed to move to a place they had inherited earlier in the year when my dad's mom had died. It was sad to see my dad's last years lived out like this. He died just about three months after transitioning his business. He spent his last months worrying as my mom was threatening to buy a second home with their limited funds close to the grandkids. After he died, my mom decided not to do this. Kramer

Wow! That is just so SAD! It's hard to imagine that couples who really cared about each other would end up like this.

Audrey

[audreyh1]

You know this stuff about 5000 sq ft houses just really blows my mind. The biggest home I ever owned was 1800 sq ft and I just couldn't imagine the hassle of cleaning anything bigger.

What is it about big houses anyway. Is it a status thing? Is it because other people have big houses?

Audrey

[Khan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by audreyh1 You know this stuff about 5000 sq ft houses just really blows my mind. The biggest home I ever owned was 1800 sq ft and I just couldn't imagine the hassle of cleaning anything bigger. What is it about big houses anyway. Is it a status thing? Is it because other people have big houses? Audrey

I too do not get it.

Mine's about 1000sf and I wish it was less.