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**Bestwifeever** · 10-25-2009, 01:02 PM

In today's paper:

In a free fall -- chicagotribune.com

A young mother writes of desperation, out of work, down to their last $6, dashed because they can't kite a check at the grocery story to cover them til unemployment check arrives.

Quote:

So, welcome to my new life. Jobless. Foreclosure threatening. Real short on hope. Brow waxes are history as are housecleaning services, dog walkers, new clothes and a second car.

But she and her husband voluntarily left their well-paying jobs several months ago. She walks out on an interview when the interviewer seem unsympathetic to flexibility for a mom's schedule. (Also, her husband is reduced to driving a taxi--yet still can collect unemployment? I didn't think that was allowed.)

There are people down on their luck who don't feel sorry for themselves or want their stories publicized, but people like this? I wonder why she is sharing their story.

bubba · 10-25-2009, 01:29 PM

Just wow is all I can say. I guess I can see why one of them thought they should stay at home with an infant that needed extra help, but why on earth would both of them quit their jobs? I don't feel one ounce of sympathy for her, but I'm very sad for her two little children. I could say that in my opinion this chick doesn't have enough sense to raise a family, but that wouldn't be nice. Maybe I read the story too quickly, but what did she expect to happen?

Amethyst · 10-25-2009, 01:47 PM

She's right that times are hard for job-seekers - which is bad for everybody - but in her case, I predict that Husband's family will step in to protect the grandchildren:

"Jay's is a different story. He grew up wealthy in Westchester County, N.Y., a member of a prominent American family umbilically connected to powerful people across the globe."

tmm99 · 10-25-2009, 01:59 PM

They definitely made a stupid move. No doubt about it looking at the outcome, but I cannot help but feel a little sympathy.

If you have never had to look for a job in recession, maybe you get the wrong idea about your marketability.

I remember that everyone wanted me when I looked for a job in 1996. They were all bending backwards for me. I felt good. I moved around a bit (change of job in 2000, 2001 and 2002). Until 2002, everyone I spoke to wanted me to work for them. Amazing, isn't it. Then 2002 came and I interviewed at a couple of companies and both turned me down. (WHAAAAT??) The HR director of one of the companies was actually rude to me (Evidently all the people they had been interviewing were currently unemployed and he thought I was too. I was still employed but looking for a better opportunity... Once he found out I was still employed, his attitude changed completely.... Sad, but true.) The tech bust in the Silicon Valley was a mini recession, and 2002 was not a very good year in terms of tech employment.

Anyway, my point is that this couple was very naiive, over-confident about their marketability and maybe that's why they did what they did. (wife quitting work for the baby and husband quitting for whatever reason.)

If everything has been going superbly well all your life, maybe you forget that the outside circumstances may have a lot to do with your life going the way it is, not because you are so superb yourself.

**Sarah in SC** · 10-26-2009, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tmm99

If everything has been going superbly well all your life, maybe you forget that the outside circumstances may have a lot to do with your life going the way it is, not because you are so superb yourself.

This is a wonderful piece of information and one we too often forget.
Thanks very much!

bbbamI · 10-26-2009, 08:36 AM

In my wildest predictions, I could not have foreseen that I would be on the edge of bankruptcy at age 41 -- certainly not with a 1- and 3-year-old in tow.

What the heck is that supposed to mean?

Delawaredave5 · 10-25-2009, 06:12 PM

There was a reader comment after the article that summed it up well for me - below...

While I would not want any parent to be in such a situation--for the good of the children--I find it hard to believe that a woman who didn't have children until 38 and presumably worked until that age doesn't have enough savings to last more than 6 months. If so, why quit a job in the middle of a recession? Couldn't your husband, already out of work, take care of your daughter? These are lessons that I hope that my sons have learned: forego the frivolous (brow waxes? dog walkers?), live frugally, and think before leaping.

FIREdreamer · 10-25-2009, 06:19 PM

Quote:

What a blow to find out that I'm not special

This woman must have lived a very sheltered life to have lived until the age of 41 thinking that she was special.

Orchidflower · 10-25-2009, 07:21 PM

Well, somebody never had to get out there and hustle for their living I see. Wow, my next life I want to come back as a privileged kid where I can expect my employers to bend over to help me. Or, as I always say, it's hard out here in Realityville...I want to live in that Little World she lives in, too, 'cause she surely isn't in Realityville where it's hard out there.
I had a girlfriend like that in Houston who must be 59 now. Never married. Never had a baby. Never bought a house. Never bought her own car (Daddy bought her Cougars from high school until he died, and now Mother bought her a new Camry--of course, all fully loaded). Never even bought her own furniture for her rented condo. Couldn't handle ANY hard knocks in life, and we all get them. Had everything in the world given to her by her moderately affluent, saving and hardworking parents who didn't pass on any of their values to their spoiled daughter for sure; and why should she adopt their values when everything in the world she ever wanted was given to her. Sad, sad, sad.
Maybe I should thank my folks for making me do everything on my own like most of us on this forum I suspect.

unclemick · 10-25-2009, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orchidflower

Well, somebody never had to get out there and hustle for their living I see. Wow, my next life I want to come back as a privileged kid where I can expect my employers to bend over to help me. Or, as I always say, it's hard out here in Realityville...I want to live in that Little World she lives in, too, 'cause she surely isn't in Realityville where it's hard out there.
I had a girlfriend like that in Houston who must be 59 now. Never married. Never had a baby. Never bought a house. Never bought her own car (Daddy bought her Cougars from high school until he died, and now Mother bought her a new Camry--of course, all fully loaded). Never even bought her own furniture for her rented condo. Couldn't handle ANY hard knocks in life, and we all get them. Had everything in the world given to her by her moderately affluent, saving and hardworking parents who didn't pass on any of their values to their spoiled daughter for sure; and why should she adopt their values when everything in the world she ever wanted was given to her. Sad, sad, sad.
Maybe I should thank my folks for making me do everything on my own like most of us on this forum I suspect.

Yep. I've met a few like that - both male and female in my working/retired life.

Sometime the learning curve is gentle and sometimes harsh - and a very few seem to cruise thru life untouched.

heh heh heh - my parents never shook the Great Depression mentality so everything got better for them and for 'you don't know how lucky you are' - aka me.

- a few ups and owns but it really doesn't get better than now/this/here - and I sure as heck don't want to go back to 'the good ole days.'

.

Moemg · 10-27-2009, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orchidflower

I had a girlfriend like that in Houston who must be 59 now. Never married. Never had a baby. Never bought a house. Never bought her own car (Daddy bought her Cougars from high school until he died, and now Mother bought her a new Camry--of course, all fully loaded). Never even bought her own furniture for her rented condo. .

We must know the same person except my friend has been married and divorced twice (Dad paid ) . New car fully loaded when she was 56 ( Dad paid ) . New furniture , fence , new appliances , kitchen re-do (Dad paid ).I have no idea what she will do if her parents die and have used up her inheritance on nursing homes because they are getting to that stage .

walkinwood · 10-25-2009, 07:43 PM

I just wish the newspapers would talk about families who have lived like this forever. Who never had a chance. Whose parents were addicts or alcoholics or just plain missing from their lives. Profile those people, who despite losing the "birth lottery" are still struggling without the entitlement attitude that this woman has!

**Bestwifeever** · 10-25-2009, 08:48 PM

I think the thing that bothered me most about the story was that she was pretty much saying, wow, this IS bad, since even WE are being affected. It sounds like they were clueless before and are learning the hard way that it's tough out there for everyone. She and her husband are very lucky to have family resources to help out, it sounds like from the story.

Texas Proud · 10-26-2009, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bestwifeever

I think the thing that bothered me most about the story was that she was pretty much saying, wow, this IS bad, since even WE are being affected. It sounds like they were clueless before and are learning the hard way that it's tough out there for everyone. She and her husband are very lucky to have family resources to help out, it sounds like from the story.

I kind of got this also.... they were better than everybody else... because they came from a rich family etc... probably living the high life (with no savings, it probably is true)... and now reality bites...

megacorp-firee · 10-25-2009, 11:12 PM

wow
in the words of one contemporary philosopher of our times,
... ' you can't fix stupid'

tmm99 · 10-26-2009, 12:41 AM

Mega,

I am not saying this about the couple (like I said I think they were naive and over-confident), regarding "stupid", I like this quote....

"Life is tough but life is tougher if you are stupid."

John Wayne

megacorp-firee · 10-26-2009, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tmm99

Mega,

I am not saying this about the couple (like I said I think they were naive and over-confident), regarding "stupid", I like this quote....

"Life is tough but life is tougher if you are stupid."

John Wayne

... there but for the grace of god ...

chassroc · 10-26-2009, 08:38 AM

It sounds like fiction to me.

No one would do what they did unless they were very self-centered. They state they have support. I feel sorry for those without wealthy families and trust funds as a safety net