When will the clouds part and angels sing again?

[athena53]

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Originally Posted by RobbieB Yeah, I would too. All those years of scrimping & saving to get out of debt and watch net worth grow and what? No celebration of a milestone? No reward? Zip? Why bother?

For me, it was the sense of security. I didn't think it was enough to retire on, but in 2006 my employer was acquired. Quite a few people jumped ship to avoid potentially losing their job in the ensuing "synergies". I realized I could stick around and see if it worked out and, if it didn't, I knew we had a cushion and wouldn't get foreclosed on if I were out of work for 6 months. (I was in a high-demand field but likely would have had to move.) That job lasted another 6 years and worked out very well financially.

We were getting close to $3 million in May, 2014 when I retired but it's hovered around that level ever since because we've been withdrawing money and our downsizing last year turned out to be pretty expensive. I should hit the $3 million mark in 4 years under some pretty reasonable assumptions. No celebration planned; I guess I just celebrate a little along the way! Next up: Panama and Costa Rica in April.

[Lsbcal]

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Originally Posted by Toocold ... Funny. When I tell my DW we hit a new financial milestone, she usually asks whether she can spend more money. When I say we need to keep to our target budget, she quickly loses interest.

Sounds a bit like mine. But I deflect her by saying she should feel OK about buying that sweater (or whatever) she was thinking of. Works like a charm.

Seems like the ladies know how to have fun more then the old dudes.

[Letj]

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Originally Posted by RobbieB It can't be fun to always worry about dough. Worry does not make you happy. Freedom from worry does make you happy. Or at least have more time planning about having fun since you don't spend that time analizing over finances.

A worrier will always find something to worry about. I am no more happier now than I was when I lived on $1,000 a month with my husband in a small 1 bedroom apartment. Although I have more than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dream, I find that the what if scenarios never go away. If only I had this amount, I could do this or that.

[Danmar]

I remember the exact time, I realized I was going to be FI. It was a Christmas morning and I was doing some forecasts on my spreadsheets. For the first time I really figured out how much we were going to have. Had to go over the spreadsheets several times to convince myself (and DW) I had it right. It was about 16 years ago and things worked out pretty much according to the projection. Pretty exciting at the time. Actually still is.

[Bryan Barnfellow]

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Originally Posted by NYEXPAT I saw a family of parrots living here in the desert years ago and took it as a sign that ER was the right decision.

Yes! I like how you think NYEXPAT.

-BB

[Bryan Barnfellow]

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Originally Posted by Toocold Slowly we worked on paying off our credit cards and for each one of these, I felt elated. Then we used those funds for cc's to pay off my student loans. Once my last student loan was conquered, celebration! We then slowly chipped down second mortgage and again down it went. And finally, we decided to pay down our primary mortgage and we were finally DEBTTT FREE. I celebrated by dancing up and down with DW and the kids. It was fun.

How great are you and your spouse that you danced with the kids over being debt free. No doubt they will remember that lesson forever and pass it on. Bravi to you both!

-BB

[Bryan Barnfellow]

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Originally Posted by Toocold Aerides, I think you hit it on the nail. The release of stress from getting rid of all that debt felt so good. I like my job, so I doubt I'll feel the same way if I choose to quit or even better getting fired. My life is rich and I'm very blessed with a wonderful DW, awesome kids, good family, and interesting job. Plenty of things in my life to celebrate. I just need to find a goal that'll make me feel exhilarated again.

My reading of your second paragraph is that you like your life as it is right now and may not really want to retire to something else. That's a good thing! FI doesn't always need to have RE follow it immediately, as others on this forum have pointed out many times over the years. It can be its own laudable goal.

So, what kinds of thing might make you feel exhilarated again? I would suggest spending some time giving that careful (and wide ranging) thought. Writing a novel? Developing an intense outside interest? My father-in-law was a pocket protector wearing, calculator on his belt, linear, analytical thinking engineering professor who developed a lifelong interest in 18th Century American and British silver--coffee urns, sugar tongs, etc. This gave him opportunities to enjoy other parts of his mind; when he retired he loved being able to spend more of his time on this. Upon his death we consigned to auction the 200 or so pieces he had so painstakingly researched and collected but kept the 4 or 5 that he often brought out to show us, time and again, teaching us in his professorial style much about their makers, their use, and how he tracked them down -- all with almost childlike glee and an unforgettable eye twinkle. Each time we take these out (or use them in dinner parties) we are reminded of his exhilaration and share it.

For me, I felt intense exhilaration at achieving first the $500K mark, then $1M, but somewhat less so after that. So, I focused on THE DAY of FIRE and concocted all kinds of rituals of enjoyment and celebration in my head to sustain me. Eventual ER felt more like falling down exhausted at the end of a marathon and it took a few months to get up again. But once I did it was like Dorothy in the wizard of oz when the film switches to color! Ah, this is what it is like. Even better than I had thought or hoped for.

Yet, I find I still need to have new goals to go over in my mind, like talismans to rub with my fingers, replacing those that have faded a bit in their intensity. Right now, it is new experiences, derived mainly from travel and interactions with others. I plan our trips a year in advance and look forward to them with glee. I volunteer to work with young(er) people (graduate students) as a mentor/coach and interview candidates for admission to my alma mater. I've stopped coveting things; now I live for experiences. This is my exhilaration and I find it is more than enough!

-BB

[HadEnuff]

I'm new to the retirement life. 9 months. So far no angels. I do experience more and more moments of giddiness as I realize I really am retired. I don't have to worry about all of those things we have to deal with at w*rk. It's definitely been a process for me.

DW will retire in March although she says she may return to the workforce in a different capacity. I doubt she will. I am looking forward to both of us being FREE!!! I think that will be another level of joy. I want to take an open ended road trip in March, and just have us bask in the knowledge that it does not matter when we return home.

I don't miss work at all. I do miss the paycheck and the feeling that the well is bottomless. I haven't totally adjusted to the idea that "this is it. I have to make this last until I die" when I look at the nest egg, even though it should be more than enough. I'm just wired that way, I guess.

[kcowan]

For me it was an experiment. We had come through the tech meltdown relatively unscathed and I had a tight schedule of trading gains that I had to make in order for our portfolio to make it. Then in 2008 it started to slip away. But we were living in our snowbird location then and discovered a positive contribution to annual living costs.

I suppose it was when the portfolio recovered in 2009. We knew we could live forever financially. And the lower budget was not a fluke.

[misshathaway]

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Originally Posted by HadEnuff I'm new to the retirement life. 9 months. So far no angels. I do experience more and more moments of giddiness as I realize I really am retired. I don't have to worry about all of those things we have to deal with at w*rk. It's definitely been a process for me. ... I don't miss work at all. I do miss the paycheck and the feeling that the well is bottomless. I haven't totally adjusted to the idea that "this is it. I have to make this last until I die" when I look at the nest egg, even though it should be more than enough. I'm just wired that way, I guess.

The "moments of giddiness" is such a good way to put it. I had one yesterday at the club. I still go at the crack of dawn because my inner clock is set that way. At about 6:50am a friend who is still working looked at the clock and got into a panic because she had a meeting at 7am and didn't think she could get to it on time. I had a moment of giddiness over not having to experience that again.

[Toocold]

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So, what kinds of thing might make you feel exhilarated again? I would suggest spending some time giving that careful (and wide ranging) thought. Writing a novel? Developing an intense outside interest?

That's where I'm at in my journey. Couple of things come to mind as I try to imagine my life after pulling the trigger. Doing P90x to get ripped? Spending a year traveling to various parts of the world? Being much more active in the start-up community to help new entrepreneurs be more successful? Reading the FIRE forums all day? Becoming a carpenter, a plumber, electrician? Volunteering for a soup kitchen? Skydiving?

One of the best moments at work is closing a deal. I wonder if I could find something outside of work that gives me the same sense of accomplishment. Something that's tough to do.

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But once I did it was like Dorothy in the wizard of oz when the film switches to color! Ah, this is what it is like. Even better than I had thought or hoped for.

This is exactly what I'm hoping for! The wizard of oz or matrix moment. I'm truly happy for you that you experienced it!

[devans0]

I didn't get any feeling of elation, either, except in perhaps very fleeting moments. What I did get was a release of stress, enough sleep and more calmly happy days that keep getting better. My life was unbalanced prior to FI, so this is good.

[W2R]

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Originally Posted by Letj Although I have more than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dream, I find that the what if scenarios never go away. If only I had this amount, I could do this or that.

I have been thinking about this too, but so far I haven't been able to come up with anything.

Do I want a new car? No, my present 2009 Toyota Venza is fine and I don't want all the electronics and gizmos which seem to be multiplying like rabbits in new cars.

Do I want to cruise around the world? No, I have already traveled WAY too much earlier in life. What I haven't done, due to all that traveling, is to establish a firm home base and I am doing that right now.

Do I want a new house? Nope, just bought my Dream House last year. It's not big and fancy but it's exactly perfect for me and just what I wanted. Every day I am so thankful that I have this house.

Do I want fancy clothes? Get real!!! Now, comfy retiree clothes, yes, but they cost very little.

Do I want to attend live concerts and shows? Pffft. I can listen to any music I wish, on youtube in the comfort of my home and I'd really rather do that.

Do I want to personally attend the Superbowl? Double pffft. I don't even like watching football.

Do I want to climb a mountain, surf, or scuba dive? No, I did these things when I was younger so these are nothing new for me really.

Do I want an RV, a boat, or a plane? Yikes, no. These are too much work for me to maintain and use. Also they could involve travel instead of staying right here in my Dream House, which I enjoy so much. I want to stay right here, not to go out on the lake, risk my life in a private plane, or learn about black water tanks for an RV.

Do I want to give it to loved ones, who are doing fine on their own? Hmm, then THEY would have to think of what to do with it.

Guess I have a lot to be thankful for today.

[Dog]

No angels singing or clouds parting for me. But, much more relaxed and sleep much better without the stress of work. My health is the best it has been since my twenties. I enjoyed working hard toward goals and stretch targets, but had lost that drive during my last year of work and was basically on auto pilot. I didn't enjoy that feeling at all. DH and I had reached our financial goals and I was able to retire 2 years earlier than planned. I took to the outdoors for new challenges and the great PNW provides a never ending supply of those. Life is indeed good!

[Letj]

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Originally Posted by W2R I have been thinking about this too, but so far I haven't been able to come up with anything. Do I want a new car? No, my present 2009 Toyota Venza is fine and I don't want all the electronics and gizmos which seem to be multiplying like rabbits in new cars. Do I want to cruise around the world? No, I have already traveled WAY too much earlier in life. What I haven't done, due to all that traveling, is to establish a firm home base and I am doing that right now. Do I want a new house? Nope, just bought my Dream House last year. It's not big and fancy but it's exactly perfect for me and just what I wanted. Every day I am so thankful that I have this house. Do I want fancy clothes? Get real!!! Now, comfy retiree clothes, yes, but they cost very little. Do I want to attend live concerts and shows? Pffft. I can listen to any music I wish, on youtube in the comfort of my home and I'd really rather do that. Do I want to personally attend the Superbowl? Double pffft. I don't even like watching football. Do I want to climb a mountain, surf, or scuba dive? No, I did these things when I was younger so these are nothing new for me really. Do I want an RV, a boat, or a plane? Yikes, no. These are too much work for me to maintain and use. Also they could involve travel instead of staying right here in my Dream House, which I enjoy so much. I want to stay right here, not to go out on the lake, risk my life in a private plane, or learn about black water tanks for an RV. Do I want to give it to loved ones, who are doing fine on their own? Hmm, then THEY would have to think of what to do with it. Guess I have a lot to be thankful for today.

Your contentment is so admirable. That's exactly how we achieve true and lasting happiness.

[brucethebroker]

No aha moments. But just knowing I am done with Bosses is enough.

Yesterday I spent about 4 hours hanging out at an auction (my first in 5 years). Then I came home and worked on the (part time) business about 2 hours (which I enjoy, btw). Then, my son and granddaughter took me to dinner. Still had time to watch a little TV before bed.

Darn near perfect day.

[bclover]

So I've never equated money with contentment. Even when I was in debt, I have to be perfectly honest, it never stressed me out to the point of losing sleep.

I'm be exceedingly blessed in that I come from a very tight knit large family so even when I was flat broke, I knew I had loved ones.

Next, outside of retiring the last 3 years had me dealing with huge losses. the death of my husband, little brother and best friend of 40 years, all from cancer painfully puts in perspective what's important.

So no, no angels singing or clouds parting nor will I ever get that type of elation from having money. If I get to 3 million, it will be fine. If I loose everything it will still be fine.

If my grandbaby is born healthy and I get to hold him, then I'll here angels. lol, although it will probably sound like crying and screaming.

If my knee replacement surgery goes well and I can start 2017 with the anticipation of walking without pain, then clouds will part.

[mrftexas]

In 2008, after 19 years with MegaCorp #1, I was called to HR and informed that my services were no longer needed. I had somewhat seen it coming, but it was still a shock nonetheless. We had saved about $1.5MM at the time, and I figured I'd just get another j*b. Then the HR guy went through what I'd receive as severance - 3 years salary, restricted stock, etc - a total of $2.6MM. I quickly realized that they were giving us the gift of FI since at the time, we were spending ~$70K/year.

I drove home and let my wife know what had happened. She started bawling - "what are we going to do?" I tried to explain what this really meant, but, alas, we agreed that since I was only 48, I'd look for another position. A month later got another j*b at MegaCorp #2. The last couple of years have been rather miserable, and we've been discussing FIRE for a couple of months now. We've saved 65X our annual expenditures of $85K/year, so I (a chronic worrier) feel pretty good about our situation (though healthcare still scares the dickens out of me). I spent hours going over all of the numbers with her, and at the end all she asked was whether or not we still could afford to go on a yearly vacation. I assured her that we could, and she was good to go.

Tomorrow, I'm going to the office to let them know I'm leaving.

I'll let you know if the clouds part and if I see something with feathers flying around.

Sunday, we're leaving on a cruise to celebrate.

[Walt34]

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Originally Posted by devans0 I didn't get any feeling of elation, either, except in perhaps very fleeting moments. What I did get was a release of stress, enough sleep and more calmly happy days that keep getting better.

That's about what I got from retirement too. No giddiness, no angels singing, just a quiet contentment. And that's fine, it's just what I wanted.

[Toocold]

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Then the HR guy went through what I'd receive as severance - 3 years salary, restricted stock, etc - a total of $2.6MM. I quickly realized that they were giving us the gift of FI since at the time, we were spending ~$70K/year.

Wow. I'd love to be called into the office and be told that they are giving me this package. Good luck tomorrow, but please make me feel better by at least jumping and clicking your feet together as you walk out.