When you had become self sustained.

18 or 22. Why two ages? Well at 18 I went to college and payed all the bills, but returned home during the three months of summer. So simi independent. At 22 entered the AF and self sustained sence.
 
21. I was fortunate enough to have my dad pay for college (with the proviso that I put myself through grad school, which I did 10 years later). Lived with him for two months after while I was looking for a job, then moved out for good.

Funny, we never had a conversation about cutting the apron strings or "having" to be on my own. I guess it was just expected on both our parts.
 
18/19 for me. Parents helped with my first year of undergrad but after that I paid for everything through a combination of coop work terms & scholarships. However this cost me an extra year to graduate. Grad school covered by tuition waivers and scholarships/stipends.

My parents bought me a nice Honda Accord when I finished undergrad. I drove that car for nearly twenty years and FIREd on it. My mom died early and I used part of the inheritance (about $35k if I recall correctly) for a house downpayment in the Bay area.
 
Age 23 when I got married (first time). Full time employment, part time schooling for next 7 years resulted in MBA, and CPA, first house. No help from parents. Was easier in those days I think. Tuition was very low and employer helped. Housing cost much lower and entry level jobs paid more in real dollars I think.

Having said that, I think hardship and struggle is overrated. I really could have used some parental assistance. It might build character in those that eventually succeed but many others just muddle through and don't particularly do very well. I am helping my daughter accordingly.
 
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Moved out on my own at 17 after HS graduation. Stuck around my home town for a year working in a local factory then moved a 1000 miles away from the rust belt to south Florida. Then on to Texas oil boom. It's been a fun ride.
 
I was 21. I came back from six months in Europe, lived with my mom for a couple of months until I found a job and then moved out. I lived with my older brother as a roommate for the 1st year. I was really happy when I moved out and didn't have another roommate until I met my wife, when I was 24. A much better roommate. :)
 
When I was 22, a couple months after graduating from college. That's when I landed my first "real" job and moved into my own apartment.
 
I would say 17 thanks to a great factory job that paid what seemed like astronomical amounts to me when I was earning it. I moved away from home when I was 15 but had some parental support for the first two years.

I see that there is a new 'self-sustained kids' thread... times have changed - nuff said!
 
22. Graduated from college in 3 1/2 years, then 6 months to find a job. Moved from the rust belt to the sunbelt and never looked back. Parents have made gifts over the years, and once acted as a bank to cover a home purchase (bank loan was delayed and we were going to lose the house to other buyers). It was paid off in 6 months.


Have the day you deserve, and let Karma sort it out.

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First full time job at 15, although I had started working at 11 (paper route, farm hand, lawns, snow, leaves, etc.). Actually it was two part timers, since child labor laws wouldn't let me work enough hours at one job. By the time I was 16 I had a full time job plus did odd jobs for extra cash, as well as the rare paying music gig. So I guess 18, when I graduated high school. I was ready to move out at 16, but I couldn't rent a room at that age. I paid my way own through college. I did come back to Mom's house some for summers, but I paid rent and only slept there, no meals or anything. When I came back in the fall of my junior year and found that my bedroom had been converted to a den I gave it up and stayed in my house at college from then on.
 
Right when I graduated undergrad, age 20 (class of 89). Went to grad school on an assistantship: free tuition, 5k/yr. stipend, no car. Started gigging around, so 2nd yr. folks let me borrow a car. Graduated and got married, bought first used car ($2500), paid back our student loans totalling 30k in 2 yrs. and started house shopping. When we bought our small house they lent us 12k to bring our downpayment up to 20%, and we paid them back in a year (we're still in that house). We know the loans from parents made our start in life much easier, but we could have done it all the same with other loans it just would have cost a little more.

My brother didn't even finish a semester of CC, was on his own for some years with a stable job, but got fired and has been job hopping and living in their basement for years, now age 44. At least he pays for his own car and food, just no rent. Oh well, luckily my parents don't need rental income, they can't even spend all their income streams.

I know 25 yrs. later it's ridiculous to think 30k in loans could get you through 6 years of undergrad and grad school, kids today have it much, much harder.
 
I am not sure what the definition of self-sustained is.

My parents did not pay for my college education beyond the first year (ages 16 to 17), so after that it was working and going to school full-time. I lived at home for 2 years but moved out at 19. My family wasn't able to give me any monetary support, they were too poor. I started working and saving babysitting money at age 13. Since I just retired at 64, that's 51 years of working at something, somewhere, for money.


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Age 21. Married with one on the way. I worked on an asphalt paving crew in the summer and college in the winter. Somehow I managed to graduate at the same time as my HS classmates.
 
Turned 18 just before graduating high school, and went from working part-time in a local factory to full time. Parents separated, mom had no income of her own (or ability to work) so once "child support" ended, so she became my dependent.
 
igsoy said:
...

I know 25 yrs. later it's ridiculous to think 30k in loans could get you through 6 years of undergrad and grad school, kids today have it much, much harder.
Click to expand...

When I graduated undergrad in 1981 my student loans totaled, wait for it, $1500. That's right! Repayment schedule called for $30/month plus interest. Times have changed.
 
Age 17, right after I graduated high school. Alcoholic parents didn't even attend my graduation. I felt abandoned and just left, lived with friends for a while, got a job, and shortly after that, joined the Air Force.

I got out after 4 years and went to college working two jobs to pay for it. Parents were separated at that time and never acknowledged my accomplishments. I guess too much booze ruins your thinking. In later years, Dad knew I became successful but Mom had a stroke and just had no capacity to understand much of anything. I did pay for their funerals several years later. That was my inheritance.

My two younger sisters suffered similar situations as I did but took the marry young route at around 18 to get away from home.
 
I moved out of the family home at age 18 to attend school several states away. Tuition was free and all of my living expenses came out of scholarships until I started working full time at megacorp five years later. My parents were solidly middle-class, and while I never spent all of my stipend, I didn't give them the remainder.
 
Age 21. First full time job after graduating college. Moved to Texas. Always worked part time starting age 15. Times and resources were always very tight at home. One paycheck from disaster sort of environment. It sucked at the time but now that I'm grown I see that it has made me who I am and that includes my grit and determination.

I'm struggling to get my eldest to launch. He is so different from me. At 19 he is fumbling to figure out his life direction. College first semester was a disaster. Academic probation. Not a partier. Just bad attitude toward some classes he disliked. Cry me a river, kid.

We may have given the kids too much , over compensating for what I didn't have growing up. Or just a different set of life experiences that don't easily apply right now in a traditional sense.

Either way ....this is , without question , the hardest stage of being a parent. Questioning my own parenting "success" .. as I witness his struggles ..

These posts are helpful to see that there are different paths and ages when one matures and can truly stand on their own.
 
papadad111 said:
We may have given the kids too much , over compensating for what I didn't have growing up. Or just a different set of life experiences that don't easily apply right now in a traditional sense.
Click to expand...
I believe times are tougher. It might be the transfer of wealth to the rich. But getting ahead seems to be much tougher these days than it was 40 years ago.

So I am willing to cut current parents some slack for providing too much. I still firmly believe that over-providing does not generate the independence that should be every parent's objective. Some struggle develops character!
 
I was in college in Ireland, and flunked out. I then emigrated to the US where I joined the Marines at 20. So independent at that age. Stayed there for 6 years where I "grew up" and realized that I needed to go back to college again, but it took some lucky "aha" moments to send me in that direction. So for the parents with kids who don't seem to be able to get on with it, sometimes it seems kids' brains are just not mature enough to comprehend the future. I think mine wasn't until I got to 23 or later.

I was in the Air Wing part of the Marines, where I worked on a radar system. We had civilian tech reps there that worked for the company that made the radars. The tech rep guy in charge didn't have a college degree, but knew more than everyone else combined about the system. So I looked up to him. That's was the guy I decided to emulate when I get out. However, there were other tech reps working for him, much greener, didn't know anything. Just learning. Turns out that since they had a degree, he told me that they made more than him.

That was the big "aha" moment that I think changed the direction of my life.

Try to generate the same "aha" moments for your kids if you can.


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bmcgonig said:
Try to generate the same "aha" moments for your kids if you can.
Click to expand...

One of my "aha" moments was working at a gas station in high school. I was evening shift manager supervising 2 or 3 other guys. One of those guys was over fifty years old. I really, really, did not want to become him.:LOL:
 
18, when I joined the Navy 3 weeks out of high school.
 
Walt34 said:
One of my "aha" moments was working at a gas station in high school. I was evening shift manager supervising 2 or 3 other guys. One of those guys was over fifty years old. I really, really, did not want to become him.:LOL:
Click to expand...

I always had a pretty strong drive to succeed but the summers and Christmas seasons that I spent working in the factory delivered a very solid extra nudge. I am glad to have been instilled with enough grace by my parents have been respectful of those at the factory who offered it to me as a potential permanent gig.
 
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