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Old 09-06-2015, 09:08 AM   #41
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If I had my druthers, we'd leave a boat-load to the kids. My daughter is in her late 30's and my son in his late 20's. They are both college educated, hard-working, productive individuals. She has her MBA, he has his engineering degree. I don't think it would go to their heads. Unfortunately, we don't have a boat load of money now, and with the market misbehaving, it's unlikely that we ever will. But I would if I could make my children's lives more comfortable if at all possible.
Similar to my thoughts. Only have the one daughter and plan to help her a lot when we are still alive. Bulk of estate will go to her and will allow her and her family a very nice retirement (probably 8 figures if I don't give it to her earlier). No estate or gift taxes in Canada, so it's easier to do this.
As we get older, I intend to bring daughter and SIL into our financial affairs more. They are both very responsible, intelligent, and qualified individuals. Eventually they may manage the portfolio even before we are gone.
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Old 09-06-2015, 10:12 AM   #42
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To each other first of course. Then...

No kids. Current will secures college education for all grandchildren (if they so choose on their own), and a nice chunk to executor for his trouble, the rest to 5 charities. Once the grandchildren are finished with their education (most are already too old to receive anything), executor and the rest to charities. No one knows the contents of our wills aside from DW and I though.

We still haven't established a trust, on the fence with no children and because we expect to relocate to another state soon (trust likely has to be redone then).
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Old 09-06-2015, 10:21 AM   #43
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All to DW but when gone, half to charity and half divided equally between two children.

We are having fun with giving larger stipends to charities now. We are also ramping up gifts directly to kids/grandkids each year.

And a large insurance policy to pay the capital gains on the individual stocks equity portfolio.
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Old 09-06-2015, 10:54 AM   #44
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To each other of course. Then to both children who are very squared away and who both have really excellent spouses. We are both aware of what a difference some funds would have made over the years and are therefore being useful while we are still alive to enjoy the results. Example: home down payment help, summer camp for Grandchildren (none yet but in the plans), potential private education assistance (DS will be in DC all his life and might have to bail on local school, DD in NC again might have to bail on local schools).

Residue is expected to significant as we do not live up to our income although we enjoy anything and everything we want. Rather leave to children than outside institutions.
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Old 09-06-2015, 11:08 AM   #45
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I was somewhat joking about leaving it all to DH's next wife. Right now it would go to our two kids should we both perish in a mountain climbing accident at exactly the same time. But....

Odds are good (for all of us here who are married) that one of us will survive the other. We don't know what they would do if the estate isn't locked up in a trust that cannot ever be changed. If iDH, who has very long-lived ancestors, survives the mountain climbing accident, he will very likely remarry as he is really personable and women like him, a lot. I just asked him about this scenario and if DS and DD would still inherit. He said of course they would and he wouldn't remarry (ha!) but there would be a prenup. I suggested he could be married to his next wife for twenty years or more, and what if she took care of him if he was ill, and what if she had a child or two of her own, who might need help. So I told him to give her the house and leave the Vanguard to our kids. He thought that was a good idea.

If we didn't have kids and we both perish at the mountain top at the same time, we would leave it all to our college where we met and still hold dear. I wouldn't want any of it to go to nieces or nephews or other family.

But in reality, I still think the next wife will be a factor and that's fine with me.
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Old 09-06-2015, 12:03 PM   #46
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I was somewhat joking about leaving it all to DH's next wife. Right now it would go to our two kids should we both perish in a mountain climbing accident at exactly the same time. But....

Odds are good (for all of us here who are married) that one of us will survive the other. We don't know what they would do if the estate isn't locked up in a trust that cannot ever be changed. If iDH, who has very long-lived ancestors, survives the mountain climbing accident, he will very likely remarry as he is really personable and women like him, a lot. I just asked him about this scenario and if DS and DD would still inherit. He said of course they would and he wouldn't remarry (ha!) but there would be a prenup. I suggested he could be married to his next wife for twenty years or more, and what if she took care of him if he was ill, and what if she had a child or two of her own, who might need help. So I told him to give her the house and leave the Vanguard to our kids. He thought that was a good idea.

If we didn't have kids and we both perish at the mountain top at the same time, we would leave it all to our college where we met and still hold dear. I wouldn't want any of it to go to nieces or nephews or other family.

But in reality, I still think the next wife will be a factor and that's fine with me.
Question I have is how are you so sure that your DH will remarry? I know I wouldn't again and I am "over 60". I suppose that topic could be a thread unto itself, but may end badly if started.
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Old 09-06-2015, 12:22 PM   #47
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Question I have is how are you so sure that your DH will remarry? I know I wouldn't again and I am "over 60". I suppose that topic could be a thread unto itself, but may end badly if started.
"Dear," asked a wife. "What would you do if I died?"

"Why dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?"

"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife.

"No, of course not, dear" said the husband.

"Don't you like being married?" asked the wife.

"Of course I do, dear" he said.

"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

"All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry."

"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.

"Yes," said the husband.

"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" asked the wife.

After a long pause. "Well, yes, I suppose I would," replied the husband.

"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?"

"I suppose, if she wanted to," said the husband.

"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"

"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."

"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too!?"

"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."
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Old 09-06-2015, 12:24 PM   #48
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I don't expect to have much to leave but it'll all go to the closest living relative(s). Right now my Mom is the beneficiary of all my accounts. If she passes it goes to my Dad then my Brother then I guess it'll be split between my surviving cousins. My hope is that I have no more than small 5-figures left when I die. If I have more than that then I worked more than I needed to.
Great point I view money as "canned work".
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Old 09-06-2015, 12:38 PM   #49
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Question I have is how are you so sure that your DH will remarry? I know I wouldn't again and I am "over 60". I suppose that topic could be a thread unto itself, but may end badly if started.
That would be an interesting thread! Go ahead and start it .

He actually says he wouldn't but he is outoing and sociable and I think he would miss the companionship. How can you be so sure you wouldn't?
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Old 09-06-2015, 12:57 PM   #50
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$ goes to DW and then split between kids but maybe not equally (long story but 2 natural kids and one older adopted that has quit communicating with us to go be near birth mother). We would like to spend a lot on ourselves and kids and not leave a huge estate.

I've already told DW that I will be looking for replacement if she's gone and she should do the same. I'd want a companion. And a prenup.
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Old 09-06-2015, 01:47 PM   #51
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That would be an interesting thread! Go ahead and start it .

He actually says he wouldn't but he is outoing and sociable and I think he would miss the companionship. How can you be so sure you wouldn't?
How?

Well, late in life with a nest egg, it appears to be a better situation from a tax and financial situation, if one is and stays single. This is especially true when facing assisted living/Medicaid situations. Also, one does not need to marry to have a "partner", at least that seems to be the trend anymore.
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Old 09-06-2015, 02:34 PM   #52
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Everything goes to DH if I die first....after that I guess it is DH's second wife, LOL. If DH goes first then I plan to leave 40% to my sister, 40% to DH's sister and ten percent to each of our two nieces.


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Old 09-06-2015, 02:36 PM   #53
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Question I have is how are you so sure that your DH will remarry? I know I wouldn't again and I am "over 60". I suppose that topic could be a thread unto itself, but may end badly if started.
This could be an issue for us. My spouse is 7 years younger than I so will likely outlive me. My daughter is from my first marriage but she gets along great with #2. Our wills give it all to each other and daughter if we die together. I trust her to give any ultimate residual to daughter( and she has promised) but will make sure daughter gets a lot before I go just in case.
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Old 09-06-2015, 04:01 PM   #54
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Wife or me, whoever dies last. Then equally to two children.
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Old 09-06-2015, 06:53 PM   #55
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If there's enough left to do it the money will go to setting up a scholarship fund for science students from the local high school.
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Old 09-06-2015, 07:16 PM   #56
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....He actually says he wouldn't but he is outoing and sociable and I think he would miss the companionship. How can you be so sure you wouldn't?
I would find a female companion and live in sin.
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Old 09-06-2015, 07:54 PM   #57
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Originally Posted by fritz
They have no idea of our total net worth. Plans are in place to make them aware when one of us is gone, or when we get too old to risk handling our investments ourselves (probably won't realize it either - we are each other's safety net for this issue). They are both good with money and retirement investors as well due to my tutelage (but not to our levels due to irresponsible behavior by both son-in-laws

We aren't thrilled with either son-in-law, but trust our daughters to do the right thing with what they will inherit. Our parents (both sides) did this for us and we figure it's the right thing to do with them. Let them decide how to pass what they receive to their children. If either dies before we do - will have to adjust accordingly to see that fairness is applied for all (daughters then grandchildren is the tentative plan).


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Hopefully, the irresponsible sons-in-law don't divorce your daughters.
Son-in-laws are foolish financially, but good providers and fathers. It should be enough inheritance to change their lifestyles if desired, but hopefully they'll both hang onto it and look to retire early as we did. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to not interfere.
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Old 09-06-2015, 08:38 PM   #58
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I procrastinated for a long time before I had a will drawn up. The reason was simply that I couldn't decide where I wanted to leave my assets. A friend once said to me that he wasn't sure either, but that his best guess at any given moment was a better outcome than where his assets would end up if he died intestate.

So I finally had a will drawn up, and I partially modified it once already. I expect to partially modify it again within a few years as my thinking evolves. If I live long enough, I suspect it will be modified more significantly. At present, my estate is divided between several friends, a relative (I have no kids), and a couple of charities.

One question that I grapple with, is should I leave a bequest to a close friend or relative who I know doesn't need it, or should I favor a friend or relative who I'm not as close to, but who would benefit more significantly?
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Old 09-06-2015, 08:43 PM   #59
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Our CURRENT plan is, as many have said, each other first, then to two DDs, split evenly.

However, we have been discussing the second part. Both daughters are doing much better financially than we were at their ages and have married successful individuals who are aggressively planning early retirement. In addition, we birthed them young. So, there is a fair chance that they will not need our money if either of us hangs around for any time.

Even if they didn't need it, we would probably still leave them a significant portion of what is left if they decide to have kids, to help with college and what not, but that doesn't seem to be in either daughter's plan right now.

So DW and I have started a few conversations about what non-profit/scholarship options we might choose to support if, at some point, we decide the DDs won't need our $$. If we hang on long enough to see the youngsters also become FI, we may start a conversation with them about some kind of family charitable foundation.
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Old 09-06-2015, 09:06 PM   #60
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This has been a timely thread for me; DH and i just signed our wills a week ago (ages 59 & 62). It feels so good to finally have that taken care of. I feel so grown-up and responsible.....after years and years of telling each other that we should write our wills.

Once the last one of us goes, the money is divided equally between the three adult kids. It will not be much.

We included a few extras, i.e. the two kids who are nice to us have thirty days to take anything out of the house they want before the house and its contents are sold. The oldest was left out of that part because....well...there are bonafide reasons. My brother is named as executor, but he is only 13 mos younger than I, so DH's and my daughter is second in line.

We put the original will in our safety deposit box, got our daughter added to the list of who can access that box and gave her a key to the box. Daughter also has a copy of the will and our youngest son has read it. There will not be much so there are no secrets. Plus, we wanted them to know about some points included in the documents- we want to be cremated, youngest son receives my wedding band and engagement ring, etc.

The attorney who completed our wills suggests updating every 3-5 years. She does not charge extra for "minor" changes.

My brother is a former practicing attorney (now a judge) and he looked over the documents for us. It all looked good to him.

It took us about six weeks to hash all of it out so that it felt "right & fair".
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