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Old 09-06-2015, 10:06 PM   #61
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I'll probably leave it all to DH's next wife.
Even if DH's next wife has been his mistress for the last 12 years?
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Old 09-07-2015, 09:45 AM   #62
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I was somewhat joking about leaving it all to DH's next wife. Right now it would go to our two kids should we both perish in a mountain climbing accident at exactly the same time. But....

Odds are good (for all of us here who are married) that one of us will survive the other. We don't know what they would do if the estate isn't locked up in a trust that cannot ever be changed. If iDH, who has very long-lived ancestors, survives the mountain climbing accident, he will very likely remarry as he is really personable and women like him, a lot. I just asked him about this scenario and if DS and DD would still inherit. He said of course they would and he wouldn't remarry (ha!) but there would be a prenup. I suggested he could be married to his next wife for twenty years or more, and what if she took care of him if he was ill, and what if she had a child or two of her own, who might need help. So I told him to give her the house and leave the Vanguard to our kids. He thought that was a good idea.

If we didn't have kids and we both perish at the mountain top at the same time, we would leave it all to our college where we met and still hold dear. I wouldn't want any of it to go to nieces or nephews or other family.

But in reality, I still think the next wife will be a factor and that's fine with me.
Yes we had an action to create a trust for any survivor with the kids as trustees. The we decided to simplify it. All to the survivor.

We left the provisions if we both die in a plane crash. But I have seen too many situations where the survivor goes on get into a new relationship often with added kids. How can we know what is best when we do not know the future? We decided to trust the partner that we love more than the lawyers that we happen to know.

(Plus the surviving partner will probably be well into the 90s by the time it becomes an issue and our kids will be in their 70s. How can we possibly know what is best then. Maybe divide it among the grandchildren equally? But one of them might have more money than us by then in their 40s. So we decided to stop trying to manage from the grave!)
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Old 09-07-2015, 10:09 AM   #63
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I expect our portfolio will be in eight figures by the time we pass. No children, and no others in the family that are significantly younger. There is really no obvious beneficiary at this point. I think we are going to go with a charitable trust, set up and managed for the benefit of sheltered/abused animals. It's a cause dear to my DW and me.

Do any others out there have no children or family that would be the obvious choice? What will you do instead?
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Old 09-07-2015, 10:12 AM   #64
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How?

Well, late in life with a nest egg, it appears to be a better situation from a tax and financial situation, if one is and stays single. This is especially true when facing assisted living/Medicaid situations. Also, one does not need to marry to have a "partner", at least that seems to be the trend anymore.
Exactly so, according to my trust attorney. His advice to me (widowed) was to stay single.

No kids or spouse, so I had to do things a bit differently to get around the "normal" rules of inheritance. My siblings leave a lot to be desired. I think I was hatched.

Mr B is 7 years my senior, so it is unlikely he will outlive me. However, just to cover all possibilities, I set my trust up so he could have lifetime living rights in my house and funds (under his control) to pay for the basics. If he decides to vacate, the house and contents will be auctioned off and proceeds distributed.

I have left sums to favorite charities (Doris Day Mustang Ranch(HSUS), USO, American Legion) and my alma mater to establish a scholarship fund for a needy student pursuing a physics/engineering degree.

Mr B is leaving all of his financial assets to his grown children. I totally 100% agree with that. He will leave any tangible things that we purchased together to me. Yes, I keep receipts.


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Old 09-07-2015, 11:15 AM   #65
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hesperus,

Not having kids or siblings, DW and I setup a donor advised fund (DAF) at Fidelity Charitable to address this issue. At this point in my life I didn't know all the charities that I would want to receive funding, but I knew that I didn't want my assets to be split between my first cousins which would have been the default based on state law. I have selected a friend as contingent adviser for the fund and she agreed to continue to distribute the funds if she is still around and we are not.

My Will will specify the DAF as contingent beneficiary if DW is no longer around when I pass and vice-versa.

I figured that this was a good default setup.

Also, the DAF allows me to get tax-deductible charitable contributions as opposed to the "Standard Deduction" by bunching contributions to the DAF every few years.

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Old 09-07-2015, 11:43 AM   #66
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Very interesting thread - thanks for starting this one.

I'm in my late 40's, never married, no kids, and no plans for either. Although that could always change, I'm pretty set in my ways and love my freedom and independence, so it's doubtful I'll ever have to worry about leaving something to a partner or kids.

My parents are both gone, so no eldercare needs.

I have three siblings, but I didn't grow up with them because I'm much younger than they are. Because of the age difference, two of them have already retired, and the third is retiring soon. It might sound harsh, but I wouldn't leave money to anybody (even my own siblings) at the tail end of their careers because I figure they had their chance to feather their own nest for retirement, and I'm not feathering it for them. I also don't want, nor expect, to be a beneficiary in their wills.

So that really only leaves nieces, nephews, and their families, but the problem is, I don't really know them. Because of the age difference between me and my siblings, we didn't grow up together. They were already moving out of the house by the time I came along, and my family was never the kind that got together a lot for family events.

I see my nieces and nephews maybe once every 7 or 8 years. Other than that, I never have any communication with them. So I doubt I'd leave anything more than a small token amount with them. I certainly wouldn't leave tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars.

So my plan is to spend it on myself and enjoy it. After 30+ years in the rat race in a career I've grown to hate, I want to bail and spend my remaining time and money on traveling, and doing things I've wanted to do for a long time.

If there's anything left when I croak, I'll leave it to my church, who is already named as the only beneficiary on life insurance policies and my stock option grants at work.
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Old 09-07-2015, 11:52 AM   #67
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A wealthy widower I know married a local widow about his same age and then used an A/B trust to provide for her after he passed, then all went to his kids. The marriage was very happy and good for them both, but the widow lived a very long life and caused no end of distress for his kids who were counting on that big inheritance much much sooner than they got it.

My kids will inherit, but they don't know how much, so hopefully they will not make plans dependent on getting the inheritance and will develop into independent capable adults on their own before they get the money. I would hate for my legacy to be a factor limiting their own development.
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Old 09-07-2015, 12:09 PM   #68
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We are doing some estate planning right now. Our tentative plans being detailed at the moment are:

Our son and grandchildren will be the benefactors.

A special needs trust has been set up for a grandson with cerebral palsy and that money is not available to us any longer. The removal of that money from our portfolio was included in our overall financial planning.

529b's and Coverdell accounts have been set up and funded for the remaining grandchildren.

When the first of us passes, our son will inherit approximately one third of our total estate with two thirds going to the survivor.

When the second of us passes, our son will inherit approximately 70% of the residual estate with the balance going to his children (except the grandchild with the special needs trust).

We built some annual gifting to our son and grandchildren into our WR which can be modulated depending on how things go.
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Old 09-07-2015, 12:25 PM   #69
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On the remarriage thing. When my mom passed, my sister and I were thrilled when my dad fell in love with a wonderful, intelligent, feisty widow. They both had pension and SS benefits from the former marriages that would terminate upon remarriage. (She had a widow/spouse benefit from SS, Dad had a survivors benefit from my mom's employer). To remarry would drop their income streams by more than $2k/month.

California has something called "Registered Domestic Partnerships" - which at the time was only available to seniors (facing the same issue as my dad and step mom), and gay couples (who at the time couldn't legally marry.). It addressed many of the legal issues that come with marriage. That's the approach they took.

But they also updated their respective trusts - making sure of the following:
- their own kids would inherit their money (so Dad's money went to us, Stepmom's money will go to her kids).
- no one would get displaced immediately. They were living in her house - but Dad paid for all the maintenance expenses and upgrades... the deal was if she predeceased him he had UP TO 1 year before the house would be put on the market... allowing him time to transition to a new home. He, in turn, left her a large enough bequest to cover the expenses of the house for many years.

I like the way they handled it - they were both in their mid/late 70's when they virtually (but not legally) married. Their trusts addressed the needs of the survivor as well as the wish to pass wealth on to their own kids.
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Old 09-07-2015, 01:06 PM   #70
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split evenly between surviving siblings. we have no kids. also leaving large donation to my not for profit ski hill earmarked for the food/beverage shack on the back side of the hill
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Old 09-07-2015, 04:19 PM   #71
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............
But they also updated their respective trusts - making sure of the following:
- their own kids would inherit their money (so Dad's money went to us, Stepmom's money will go to her kids).
- no one would get displaced immediately. They were living in her house - but Dad paid for all the maintenance expenses and upgrades... the deal was if she predeceased him he had UP TO 1 year before the house would be put on the market... allowing him time to transition to a new home. He, in turn, left her a large enough bequest to cover the expenses of the house for many years..............
This sounds problematic. When I'm 90 years old, I'd sure hate to get booted out so the kids could have their money NOW. It would seem fairer to pass on money on the passing of the second person.
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Old 09-07-2015, 05:28 PM   #72
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I am going to spend it, and have a lot of fun spending it.
Spoken like a true senator!

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Old 09-07-2015, 06:18 PM   #73
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We just finished updating our estate stuff this summer. No kids, and our main hope is to spend it all. :-)

But after originally coming up with all manner of detailed plans for how the money should go to parents, siblings, and trusts for their offspring (especially if we die at the same time when the estate is still sizeable), I decided that our control freak-ism was getting out of hand. So, when we are both gone, the estate just gets split up equally between the whole crew. We won't be around to watch any disasters!

There is also the likelihood that my own inheritance from my father will be low seven figures. My brother and his (currently young) kids are going to make out like bandits between that and potentially from me. Hence the desire to spend as much as we can! On the other hand, perhaps this will make sure that the kids keep being nice to their rich old aunt....

We need to decide on some charitable options as well, but didn't want our dithering on that to prevent us from getting the important estate stuff done.
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Old 09-07-2015, 06:51 PM   #74
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to each other first, then to both kids equally.
In the process of updating wills, trusts, POA, Advanced Directive and Healthcare representative.
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Old 09-09-2015, 04:34 PM   #75
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I have some set aside for charity, and after that: DH if he is alive, my sister if we both die. My sister and BIL would use the money for their retirement and/or my nieces' educations.

My DH doesn't have a will (doh!). Everything he has would go to me; but, I would share some with his sister and his cousin (who is his best friend). If we both go, his solo 401(k) and IRA have his sister as the secondary beneficiary.
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Old 09-09-2015, 05:05 PM   #76
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Four children. We will probably try to start gifting once they are well established (Insha'Allah). DW is 6 years older than me so we are set to go at the same time statistically. If that turns out to be in our 80s or beyond then it may be that it winds up being an equal split among the grandchildren (again, God willing on both counts!)
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Old 09-09-2015, 05:53 PM   #77
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hesperus,

Not having kids or siblings, DW and I setup a donor advised fund (DAF) at Fidelity Charitable to address this issue.
I've been hearing some good things about the Fidelity Charitable DAF. I was approached by our rep about this, and have been starting to look at this a bit more closely.
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Old 09-09-2015, 07:07 PM   #78
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To each other, then we each have a son from a previous marriage that we will split the money between. My son likely will manage the money well, but we have concerns about her son. He will likely lose it in a business venture since he wants a restaurant but doesn't manage money well. Hopefully his wife will keep him in check. If it looks like we'll have a significant amount as we get older, we'll give some to other family members and some to charity.
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Old 09-09-2015, 09:35 PM   #79
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hesperus,

Not having kids or siblings, DW and I setup a donor advised fund (DAF) at Fidelity Charitable to address this issue.
We'll probably do a DAF, too. I want to give actively to local environmental groups who do good work and that also host lots of nature outings and socials. This is what my mother does and it has led to a rich life in her older age.


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Old 09-10-2015, 12:19 AM   #80
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one of my three kids has Down Syndrome, we currently have our estate split evenly, but we debate it. It depends on how the portfolio does over the next 40 years. If it does poorly, we might give our special needs daughter more of it.
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