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Old 09-22-2015, 03:52 AM   #101
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Me too. I'll be the guy standing downwind with a respirator mask and a butterfly net.
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Old 09-22-2015, 10:30 AM   #102
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Please invite me this, Lars, if I happen to outlive you! It sounds amazing!
Would you also like to watch the part where they did terrible things to the female thrall who was sacrificed to follow her master into the afterlife to serve him?

See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norse_funeral.
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Old 09-22-2015, 10:53 AM   #103
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Would you also like to watch the part where they did terrible things to the female thrall who was sacrificed to follow her master into the afterlife to serve him?

See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norse_funeral.
For those of you who are not motivated quite enough to go to Wikipedia to read about the Norse funeral, but are curious nevertheless:

"...Then the girl [thrall]was pulled into the tent and the men started to beat on the shields so her screams could not be heard. Six men entered the tent to have intercourse with the girl, after which they forced her onto her master's bed. Two men grabbed her hands, and two men her wrists. The angel of death [an old woman] put a rope around her neck and while two men pulled the rope, the old woman stabbed the girl between her ribs with a knife.."

"…Finally, they sacrificed a hen and a cock."

Note: Wikipedia doesn’t mention how the cock is sacrificed, but my guess is, there is also a lot of screaming going on.
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Old 09-22-2015, 11:08 AM   #104
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Old 09-22-2015, 11:18 AM   #105
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This is a great thread. I am not married and have no kids. My parents will probably go before I do, my brother is very very well off (multiple homes, Net Jet) so nothing goes to him.

So perhaps scattered between friends, who don't expect anything but would be happy to have it. And to my favorite dachshund rescue organization.

And I am embarrassed to say I have not even developed a trust or will (hides under desk).
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Old 09-22-2015, 01:38 PM   #106
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I feel like Lars is going to do a kinder, gentler version of the Norse funeral. Except maybe for the chicken part, I do like fried chicken after a long service.

But I now know better than to attend any funerary services for redduck and NW-Bound, lol.
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Old 09-22-2015, 02:12 PM   #107
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I feel like Lars is going to do a kinder, gentler version of the Norse funeral...
That's what you think. Better to ask to make sure.

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But I now know better than to attend any funerary services for redduck and NW-Bound, lol.
I don't know what my friend redduck has in mind, but for me, just a simple service followed by cremation. And I am sure my wife will have a vegetarian meal for the family, so that no animal is killed for the occasion.
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Old 09-22-2015, 05:47 PM   #108
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I'm going to leave it to the people of this forum, however, I will need you to send me $29.95 to cover shipping and handling.
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Old 09-22-2015, 06:16 PM   #109
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I'm going to leave it to the people of this forum, however, I will need you to send me $29.95 to cover shipping and handling.
Is that gonna be via Western Union or Money Order?
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Old 09-22-2015, 07:02 PM   #110
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I can see for some, my sense of humor is an acquired taste. Oh well, my DW keeps tell me the same. Might have to start listening to her...


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Old 09-22-2015, 07:20 PM   #111
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Obviously, my and redduck's dark humors are not recognized...
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Old 09-22-2015, 10:56 PM   #112
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Nah, they are most welcome and appreciated, but I definitely don't want to get roped into the "authentic" versions y'all mentioned.

Actually looked at this place in the upstate that offers all natural burials, no chemicals and only materials that decompose. But the only weird part is that you have to rent a refrigerated truck to carry the person to it, which sounds both difficult and maybe kinda creepy.

Hence the interest in other perhaps oddball ceremonies.
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Old 09-23-2015, 02:28 AM   #113
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Or as FIL used to say: "If I can't take it with me, I ain't going".
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