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Old 11-07-2019, 07:51 PM   #21
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^^^^ And what did that accomplish? other than make you look like a pompous jerk?

You could have said that you save regularly and invested in low-cost index funds that did well... or something along those lines.
I would imagine that there are issues stretching far back into the past that led to the chosen response.
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Old 11-07-2019, 07:51 PM   #22
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I would never give anyone an inside look at our financial situation. Some make hints or assumptions because we retired early and travel frequently-often fie extended periods.

It is just the way we are. I am a very private person when it comes to this, DW would feel embarrassed for some odd reason if anyone on her side knew even the approximate numbers.
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Old 11-07-2019, 07:52 PM   #23
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^^^^ And what did that accomplish? other than make you look like a pompous jerk?

You could have said that you save regularly and invested in low-cost index funds that did well... or something along those lines.
Wow. What an asshat response.
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Old 11-07-2019, 07:53 PM   #24
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You can let someone know that youíre doing well without being specific. If youíre trying to help someone, they need to let you in, not the other way around. Personally, I think the principles are so universal, that youíd be wasting your time. If they want help, they need to make an effort to seek it out. Very much like diet and working out. People can see from physical appearance that one is doing well. You donít need to get into every detail of what you do in order to give them good advice. Eat less, eat better, exercise. Same with finances. Spend less, save more, make more if you can. Showing them your cards is not going to motivate many (if any) and it has the high potential to go negative.


This!!!
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Old 11-07-2019, 07:54 PM   #25
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I would imagine that there are issues stretching far back into the past that led to the chosen response.
Not at all. Why did everyone take my response as a negative. He didnít think it was possible. I showed him it was. We continued to consume our beer and had fun.
Tough crowd.
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Old 11-07-2019, 07:56 PM   #26
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Yeah, lotta old people here.
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Old 11-07-2019, 07:57 PM   #27
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I do run into a lot of folks that I believe could retire or retire sooner if they just understood SWR strategy. I could probably offer guidance but most would not put money in the stock market and probably think we earned a lot more when working than we actually did.
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Old 11-07-2019, 07:57 PM   #28
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Wow. What an asshat response.
Whatever.
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:01 PM   #29
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Not at all. Why did everyone take my response as a negative. He didnít think it was possible. I showed him it was. We continued to consume our beer and had fun.
Tough crowd.
My apologies. It was mere speculation drawn from my own life experience. I have a brother two years younger. He has been competing against me as long as he has been alive, but I have never been competing with him. To this day, he holds a grudge about things that happened 50 years ago. Sometimes, he says snarky things about my presumed economic position and I would just like to say something to shut him up. But I never have, because it would only make things worse.

It sounds like you have a much better relationship with your brother. So please just ignore my idle thoughts.
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:01 PM   #30
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Not at all. Why did everyone take my response as a negative. He didn’t think it was possible. I showed him it was. We continued to consume our beer and had fun.
Tough crowd.
The way you wrote it it sounded like you were smug/happy that your response shut him up.... sort of one-upmanship.... perhaps we misinterpreted your post.
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:06 PM   #31
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The way you wrote it it sounded like you were smug/happy that your response shut him up.... sort of one-upmanship.... perhaps we misinterpreted your post.
It was the opposite. My brother was asking ďare YOU sure you are doing the smart thing?Ē My response showed him my actions were years in the making.
Trust me, my brothers (and sisters) are all good and there is no sinister family history.
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:09 PM   #32
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My view: showing folks your financial details causes more problems than it solves. More people are resentful knowing that others are doing better than they are, than are happy. Consider that you bringing it up will most likely be viewed as bragging, not matter how humbly you try to present it, and can further the resentment.

Beyond my wife, those closest to me simply know that I am doing okay and do not have any complaints. We have relatives if they knew what we have would start pressuring us to share it with them since "we don't need all of that". And one ex-BIL would likely resort to threats to get something from us.

Some have crassly asked how much we have, and my standard reply is "enough for our needs. Which are very different from your needs". If someone wants to pursue my type of "success", they do not need to know amounts, they just need to know techniques. If they really want specific numerical guidelines I will refer them to publications/documents that discuss ways of determine what you should strive for at certain ages, etc.
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:11 PM   #33
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A little surprised that all the responses are one sided considering how many people on this forum seem to have no problem giving very specific details on how much they have. The 'Financial Samurai' had an interesting article some time ago about the reasons some like to discuss their income with others, I'm sure the same applies to discussing one's overall wealth.

https://www.financialsamurai.com/why...-their-income/

Quote:
Why Do People Like To Reveal Their Income? Arrogance And Pride

It hit me the other day that none of the people I know in the top 1% have ever revealed their incomes to me. Iíve got a good idea of how much they make and what their assets look like. But beyond some vagaries, details have never been disclosed. ...

Here are some commonalities Iíve noticed by those who enjoy talking about how much they make. ...
* Younger demographic. ...
* A need to prove worth. ...
* Lower self-esteem. ...
* The desire for adoration.
...
* New wealth. ...
* Lack of perspective. ...
* Cultural differences. ...
* Other people like to know. .
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:14 PM   #34
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DW, and if I needed some advice Iíd share some info with my former boss.
My former boss was putting his retirement savings in U.S. Savings Bonds instead of a generous 401K plan. We also had a defined pension, however.

When The Boss went to retire, he had to work another 10 years because he didn't properly save for retirement by investing in FIDO's better equities that we were offered. Hard to believe that he managed quite a few hundreds of million dollars at work.
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:16 PM   #35
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My apologies. It was mere speculation drawn from my own life experience. I have a brother two years younger. He has been competing against me as long as he has been alive, but I have never been competing with him. To this day, he holds a grudge about things that happened 50 years ago. Sometimes, he says snarky things about my presumed economic position and I would just like to say something to shut him up. But I never have, because it would only make things worse.

It sounds like you have a much better relationship with your brother. So please just ignore my idle thoughts.
Apology accepted and I appreciate you taking the time to post and explain.
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:17 PM   #36
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My wife is not very interested in what I have in our accounts, although I tell her the total everyday, and she remembers it.

Nobody else knows, although our children and close relatives know we have a 7-figure worth. They do not know the leading digit, and there's no need to share it.
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:22 PM   #37
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A little surprised that all the responses are one sided considering how many people on this forum seem to have no problem giving very specific details on how much they have.
I believe it is different on a forum like this since it is anonymous by choice. In addition, I find very little "bragging", amounts are revealed here more to receive guidance from others on actions - others who really do not care either about what is revealed.

Everyone (or at least 99%) of the folks here are encouraging others to do as best as they can, and succeed, without wanting anything from them. Not the same "in real life".
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:24 PM   #38
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It was the opposite. My brother was asking ďare YOU sure you are doing the smart thing?Ē My response showed him my actions were years in the making.
Trust me, my brothers (and sisters) are all good and there is no sinister family history.
Glad to hear that... I'm sorry I reacted as I did.
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:28 PM   #39
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Glad to hear that... I'm sorry I reacted as I did.
All good. Thanks for posting.
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Old 11-07-2019, 08:32 PM   #40
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A little surprised that all the responses are one sided considering how many people on this forum seem to have no problem giving very specific details on how much they have. ...
I'm quite careful to provide percentages rather than amounts, though I suspect if someone combed through all my 23,259 posts over the last 9 years that they might be able to get some ideas.
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