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Old 07-01-2014, 09:11 AM   #81
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No, but they are always looking for money and they live on debt. I have had the requests for loans (did that a couple of times and no repayments) and now I just tell them no. Seem pretty bad, but they made and continue to make decisions in life that put them in the situation they are in.
Your deal is better mine treat me like dirt and look for money. Mine also have a crazy belief that a relative must be in a will regardless of how they act.
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Old 07-01-2014, 09:52 AM   #82
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When people ask me what I do, I say that I am a private portfolio manager. No other explanation needed nor given.
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Old 07-01-2014, 11:43 AM   #83
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Father in law knows we're comfortable only because when my mother in law passed last week he was talking about his finances and plans.

He was talking about changing his will so that when he passes his assets are split 50/50 between my DH and his sister but we told him we're fine with him leaving it all to his daughter and grandkids since she's a single mom and needs it more than we do.

It's about $250k right now so not insignificant. That conversation told him we're doing ok without us having to say it.
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Old 07-01-2014, 12:35 PM   #84
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Although I make most of the financial decisions, DH knows about everything (several years back, he agreed to take over the tracking spreadsheet so that he would know what we have where if something happened to me).

Several years ago, I told my mother we were more than comfortably set and suggested that she change her will to split her estate 60/40 rather than 50/50 so that my sister (who lived in the same town and helped her in many ways) would get more. She died in February with a just barely 6 figure net worth and I'm very happy that it worked out this way as this will make a major difference to my sister's financial situation as she approaches retirement. I guess I could have suggested she leave it all to my sister but I didn't think either of them would be comfortable with that.

DD and DS know we have 6 figures at Vanguard because both of them inherited our Flagship status for the small accounts we gifted them after college. We wanted them to have the opportunity to consult with our advisor there. If they ask for more details, we'll be honest, but so far they haven't. We'll probably tell them more once they are more financially settled on their own.
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Old 07-01-2014, 03:47 PM   #85
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My wife and I don't tell anyone what we're worth, though it's somewhat easy to assume we have *some* money because of where we decided to buy a house. However, we both drive 5+ year old cars (mine is 8+ and still going strong - can't beat a Honda Accord for longevity). We don't have fancy furniture, flashy jewelry or other status symbols. Our visible "wealth" is our health. We both work out 6 days a week and are in better shape than most folks we know. If you're trim (or even muscular), clothes will look great on you, regardless of where you buy them.

If my mother were to ask, I would tell her. She and my dad (now deceased) made a good deal of money when he was still practicing medicine, but also spent a great deal (and lost some in the markets to boot).
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Old 07-02-2014, 03:36 AM   #86
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I'm impressed. I've never had anyone heed my financial advice - at least no one that I wasn't married to.

I think is like a million monkey writing Hamlet. If you give enough people advice somebody is bound to take some of it
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Old 07-02-2014, 07:28 AM   #87
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I think is like a million monkey writing Hamlet. If you give enough people advice somebody is bound to take some of it

I have learned a lot from my financial mistakes and try share with my friends to wake them up. I stick to the personal finance side. I have got one friend to buy in completely. Helped set him up a plan in last two years to get out of over $50k in personal debt and CC, and is now fully funding Roths for both himself and wife. He is very proud of being out of debt as it was a way of life for them. My other 2 listen but don't follow through. One despite being over 25k in CC debt, in past year bought not one but two new cars, and purchased a house with 3% down (which came from a family member). But the crazy part was this. He told me his mortgage and escrow payment was around $1100, but over $200 of that was PMI that cannot be dropped no matter what until he could refinance. That is insane, his PMI is higher than his monthly reduction in principal. Needless to say he didn't follow any of my ideas, though he does promise each time to do better this month with the CC's.


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Old 07-02-2014, 03:57 PM   #88
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Although I make most of the financial decisions, DH knows about everything (several years back, he agreed to take over the tracking spreadsheet so that he would know what we have where if something happened to me).

Several years ago, I told my mother we were more than comfortably set and suggested that she change her will to split her estate 60/40 rather than 50/50 so that my sister (who lived in the same town and helped her in many ways) would get more. She died in February with a just barely 7 figure net worth and I'm very happy that it worked out this way as this will make a major difference to my sister's financial situation as she approaches retirement. I guess I could have suggested she leave it all to my sister but I didn't think either of them would be comfortable with that.

DD and DS know we have 7 figures at Vanguard because both of them inherited our Flagship status for the small accounts we gifted them after college. We wanted them to have the opportunity to consult with our advisor there. If they ask for more details, we'll be honest, but so far they haven't. We'll probably tell them more once they are more financially settled on their own.
Just realized when reviewing what I wrote yesterday that I left a zero off in two places. Corrected above.
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Old 07-02-2014, 04:03 PM   #89
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I have a small family, and I would share with most of them if asked (I have one aunt I am not close to, so that would be a much more general conversation). My parents and the aunt I am close to all retired in their mid-50s, and they know we want to do the same. Maybe since we are like-minded, it would be easier to share.

I can't even fathom my DH's family asking us; they just don't talk about things like that. He has one sister who we would never tell anything. But his parents and his other sister? I wouldn't have a problem with it.

We talk in generalities about goals with our best friends, but not others.
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Old 07-03-2014, 04:25 PM   #90
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My BIL suspects and did ask me two years ago if we were interested in giving him a 500K mortgage on his business property. We declined and said that we were fully committed to a specific investment regimen.


Not good to do business with relatives and besides....how could we ever foreclose on DW's sister if things did not turn out well.

I feel certain that he still wonders about our net worth, given our FIRE lifestyle over the past few years.
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Old 07-03-2014, 04:42 PM   #91
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My BIL suspects and did ask me two years ago if we were interested in giving him a 500K mortgage on his business property. We declined and said that we were fully committed to a specific investment regimen.


Not good to do business with relatives and besides....how could we ever foreclose on DW's sister if things did not turn out well.

I feel certain that he still wonders about our net worth, given our FIRE lifestyle over the past few years.
My next door neighbor (literally) today asked me if I'd be interested in making a $150-250k investment in his consulting company (he is their COO but not a owner). I told him something similar, that our risk capital was fully invested (which is true). I would never invest or loan money to someone who I wasn't comfortable sending attorney's and collection agencies after to get the money repaid. Friend, neighbors, family.
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Old 07-03-2014, 05:04 PM   #92
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I am a very private person and I am not comfortable sharing details about my financial situation. That said, as a public employee my salary was listed on the internet on a searchable database available to any one with web access and idle curiosity.
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Old 07-03-2014, 05:09 PM   #93
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That said, as a public employee my salary was listed on the internet on a searchable database available to any one with web access and idle curiosity.
In pre-Internet days mine was published in the local rag paper along with everyone else's once a year. Fortunately and deservedly the paper went bankrupt a while back.
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