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Even parents aren't sure why...
Old 04-24-2016, 09:56 AM   #101
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Even parents aren't sure why...

So I believe part of the theme of born that way, but not exactly sure why. Two brothers one who is frugal, saves, and PLANS, and the other who flies thru life on the seat of his pants and crashes often when things don't work out.
Both raised in the same house, same rules, but apparently we are wired much differently. Parents don't see how it happened either. Lucked out and married another frugal person in my DW. She was born quite poor and knew her parents were poor from a very young age. She has always been frugal and lives by the rule of wants and needs. We never have the newest thing in stores, or have to have that new model of vehicle. We do travel very well, search out discounts and coupons like it was a real life game of monopoly and we want to win , and will soon see the fruits of our labor.
I think it is too easy to drink the koolaid and just buy the newest to keep up with the Jones and I think it is much worse now than it was when I was a kid. A new hot product is announced and they sell out by the millions immediately (IPhone, game console, electric car, you name it).
We teach our kids the right way to secure a happy and successful retirement down the road, about saving and investing, and planning, but their proof will only be realized later, I hope they do well, they are not yet committed to being frugal yet.
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Old 04-24-2016, 11:30 AM   #102
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I remember feeling poor and inferior, when I was younger. I did not like feeling that way. I am frugal so that I will no longer have to depend on family or the government (welfare) ever again.
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Old 04-24-2016, 12:12 PM   #103
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My Pop always had a good answer to my childhood wants;

"I want this I want that, I really really want one of those"

"It's good to want stuff"
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Old 04-24-2016, 01:07 PM   #104
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I do not like to part with my money. We worked too hard to get it and accumulate it.

And when I do part with it I want value. Don't mind spending as long as we get good value.
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Old 04-24-2016, 01:26 PM   #105
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My frugality came to me via DNA from two Depression Era parents.

When Dad started making more money in the 70's and 80's he didn't sell the house and move up to a bigger, better zip code like so many of our neighbors. Instead he saved and invested and they took some nice trips. He didn't like debt and he kept things simple.

I just don't like to waste and I'm not an accumulator of things. I'm a careful spender, sometimes almost too careful, I tend to over analyze but I kind of enjoy that! Comparison shopping on the internet is just too much fun.

As DH's pension COLA has added up over the years I am loosening up a bit. I'll go ahead and buy even when the item is on sale at another store, just for the ease and convenience I still use coupons and shop sales but I'm less strict about it.

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I do not like to part with my money. We worked too hard to get it and accumulate it.

And when I do part with it I want value. Don't mind spending as long as we get good value.
Yep, that right there.
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Why are you frugal?
Old 04-24-2016, 03:13 PM   #106
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Why are you frugal?

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I remember feeling poor and inferior, when I was younger. I did not like feeling that way. I am frugal so that I will no longer have to depend on family or the government (welfare) ever again.
Exactly like my DW's painful background. However, her way of overcoming deprivation has been to work hard so that she can consume and make up for lost time. She rationalizes being a spender as something she deserves and earned and, after she got us into a hole for the 3rd or 4th time, I took complete control of our finances as a condition for staying married, in all honesty. It has worked out well because I like to do it and I can limit the damage as we each get a budgeted, standard monthly chunk of cash that we are not accountable to each other for (I save most of mine). She adds a lot of beauty, happiness, joy and income to our 20 year marriage but we both know that I do the money.
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Old 04-24-2016, 03:27 PM   #107
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Nothing wrong with that if your are fair to DW!
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I would guess that a F150 is for his wife, it's a good passenger vehicle to go to the grocery store with.

He would likely get a F350, Diesel. A real truck (like mine). 2017 coming soon.
Guys, Female here also a car/truck lover. 2010 F150 Platinum and 2014 vette are mine and husband has a 2014 F250 Platinum. We sold all the other vehicles last year when my husband got sick. He's had a few setbacks but hope when he's feeling better we'll start playing with cars/trucks again. For right now, we're being "vehicle frugal" in case medical bills get out of hand.
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Old 04-24-2016, 04:37 PM   #108
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Being frugal is definitely a mindset. I was once at a friend's house who earned exactly the same as me (MegaGovt, although I am now retired), and we were looking for a product online. I brought up a list of 30 or so items and immediately sorted it from low to high price. I do this for 2 reasons...to find the best low price that is of acceptable quality and also to find sale items. He later searched for a different item and immediately sorted it high to low price.
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Old 04-24-2016, 05:25 PM   #109
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Was frugal to ensure a decent retirement and the realization that spending more really didn't get me more. Particularly with cars. Friends bought BMW's, Caddies, Lexus's, etc while I bought plain jane Fords. Got me to the same places as theirs did and I was able to buy them with cash so never had a car payment. Also, brewed my own coffee and made my lunches, that had to save thousands over a 30 year span.

But now I have money coming in from several sources that is much more than I need, so not so frugal anymore (i.e. I actually order an appetizer now! LOL)
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Old 04-24-2016, 07:32 PM   #110
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Good for you! I love appetizers. Sometimes I eat a whole meal of appetizers, just what I want and nothing else.

The Spanish perfected this, they call it a Tapas Bar -
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Old 04-24-2016, 07:32 PM   #111
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With an INTP personality and a Scottish background I was probably destined to be frugal. I'm also blessed that I do not have many wants.

My entire life I've been careful with money. It is like I inherently knew that it was a precious resource and a source of an easier life. I also realized that if I could buy something outright I wouldn't have to pay interest, ie: I could buy even more/better stuff later on by being patient now. That made me go debt free (including the house) when I was 34 years old. I credit not paying interest as the #1 reason I am becoming more and more affluent. (for full disclosure I do pay some interest now, but it is for things that pay me more money back than the interest I'm paying, example a rental house).

I've had stints of my life where I have been more and less frugal, and right now I'm on a more frugal stint, I call it Operation Millionaire. Should hit it next year at age 43. Then Operation FI, should hit that at 47.

Really, though, I don't sweat the small stuff much. I buy lunch out most days, and if I want a Coke in a 20 ounce bottle, I'll bite the bullet and just spend $1.91 on it. The bigger things, homes, cars, appliances: This is where I really slow down and do research. I definitely will pay a premium for products that have great track records for dependability. I try to make sure I don't buy more than what I need, or will reasonably need in the future (balanced a little bit with 'would like' in there). So when I needed a 4 door sedan I bought a Honda Accord, not a Chevy Yukon, and not a smaller car that couldn't hold all the camping gear for DW and I. Same thing with a house. How much house do I need. That is what I bought (plus a little more because I could afford it).

What I don't understand is the Non-Frugal attitude. I mean, why wouldn't you want to get the best bang for your buck? And why would anybody want to spend all they have to the point they can't handle a $400 emergency?
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Old 04-24-2016, 07:42 PM   #112
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What I don't understand is the Non-Frugal attitude. I mean, why wouldn't you want to get the best bang for your buck? And why would anybody want to spend all they have to the point they can't handle a $400 emergency?
See the book "Predictably Irrational" by Dan Ariley. In it he describes multiple psychological experiments demonstrating that many people fully believe that a given item is "better" because it is more expensive, comes in a more ornate container, or is surrounded by silk instead of cotton.

For some reason many people simply cannot stand to see a dollar in the bank (maybe they think it might evaporate?). I have no idea why this is so but looking at the actions of other people that seems to be the case.
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Old 04-24-2016, 08:16 PM   #113
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My entire life I've been careful with money. It is like I inherently knew that it was a precious resource and a source of an easier life. I also realized that if I could buy something outright I wouldn't have to pay interest, ie: I could buy even more/better stuff later on by being patient now. That made me go debt free (including the house) when I was 34 years old. I credit not paying interest as the #1 reason I am becoming more and more affluent. (for full disclosure I do pay some interest now, but it is for things that pay me more money back than the interest I'm paying, example a rental house).

I've had stints of my life where I have been more and less frugal, and right now I'm on a more frugal stint, I call it Operation Millionaire. Should hit it next year at age 43. Then Operation FI, should hit that at 47.

Really, though, I don't sweat the small stuff much. I buy lunch out most days, and if I want a Coke in a 20 ounce bottle, I'll bite the bullet and just spend $1.91 on it. The bigger things, homes, cars, appliances: This is where I really slow down and do research. I definitely will pay a premium for products that have great track records for dependability. I try to make sure I don't buy more than what I need, or will reasonably need in the future (balanced a little bit with 'would like' in there). So when I needed a 4 door sedan I bought a Honda Accord, not a Chevy Yukon, and not a smaller car that couldn't hold all the camping gear for DW and I. Same thing with a house. How much house do I need. That is what I bought (plus a little more because I could afford it).

What I don't understand is the Non-Frugal attitude. I mean, why wouldn't you want to get the best bang for your buck? And why would anybody want to spend all they have to the point they can't handle a $400 emergency?
I agree with your main points. The first is not wanting to pay interest, or pay it as little as possible for as short a time as possible. I paid off my student loans in 18 months and paid off my mortgage in 9 years. I always thought paying interest is the biggest waste of money possible - you get pretty much nothing for it.

I try not to sweat the small stuff. I'll pay a little more for a brand of product which I have determined is better than another brand which costs less. But I can balance that against not going totally crazy and spendy all the time so I won't have to worry about how to pay for any expensive toys I buy once in a while (after doing some research on them, of course).
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Old 04-24-2016, 08:17 PM   #114
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See the book "Predictably Irrational" by Dan Ariley. In it he describes multiple psychological experiments demonstrating that many people fully believe that a given item is "better" because it is more expensive, comes in a more ornate container, or is surrounded by silk instead of cotton.

For some reason many people simply cannot stand to see a dollar in the bank (maybe they think it might evaporate?). I have no idea why this is so but looking at the actions of other people that seems to be the case.
I do work with people who believe something is better if it is more expensive.

Also, I do find it humorous that some people believe that those of us with $1,000,000 plus in the bank are 'wasting our money by letting it sit there'. Even after you retire early a lot of those same people will still think you are doing it all wrong.
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Old 04-24-2016, 08:32 PM   #115
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Oh yeah.

Too much cash - wrong
Too much stocks - wrong
Too much bonds - wrong
Use an advisor - wrong
Don't use an advisor - wrong
More money than me - wrong
Less money than me - wrong
Drive faster than me - wrong
Drive slower than me - wrong

People like people and expect people to be "just like me"

This is why we read really really old literature over and over again. To discover that people have not changed in 2000 years.
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Old 04-24-2016, 08:53 PM   #116
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Born and raised that way. I come from a long line of tight wads...
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Old 04-24-2016, 08:58 PM   #117
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My parents always lived below their means to make sure they could pay for school or help their parents. They modeled that you have to prioritize the things that are important to you, When I was in high school my Dad's company went through some restructuring and his job wasn't secure. He ended up not losing his job, but it made me conscious early on that plans can change and it's a good thing to always be prepared for downturns.
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Old 04-24-2016, 08:58 PM   #118
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If a frugal nature is genetic, I don't know where I got it. I come from a family of conspicuous consumers- I am widely believed to be the black sheep of the family for many reasons, but especially known as the family cheapskate. There are many family jokes in circulation about my cheap nature, particularly about my habit of buying cheap wine; everyone else is a wine snob. I would buy "better" wine if I could tell the difference but I honestly can't. I like most wine regardless of price. I did announce to my family (after much wine- hubby was kicking me under the table) that I am about to retire early in a few years (I'm 44) and there were stunned looks and several moments of complete silence. Its safe to say they were all pretty shocked.

Strangely though, I feel uncomfortable with "status" objects. I somehow feel like I'm trying to be someone I'm not every time I pick up a designer handbag or contemplate a luxury auto even though I could well afford it. I am really a blue jeans and t-shirts sort of girl. Oh well. I think I value time more than stuff. Like most of us here I imagine.
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Old 04-24-2016, 10:38 PM   #119
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There are many family jokes in circulation about my cheap nature
I was told recently by DW's uncle, in a good-natured way, "You're so tight you could squeeze the buffalo off a nickel". I loved it!
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Old 04-25-2016, 07:45 AM   #120
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Oh yeah.

Too much cash - wrong
Too much stocks - wrong
Too much bonds - wrong
Use an adviser - wrong
Don't use an adviser - wrong
More money than me - wrong
Less money than me - wrong
Drive faster than me - wrong
Drive slower than me - wrong

People like people and expect people to be "just like me"

This is why we read really really old literature over and over again. To discover that people have not changed in 2000 years.
and also why tolerance is the only virtue worth valuing. All our friends have differing values and priorities. But we love it! Vive la difference!

(Except maybe driving! We probably drive slower since being retired. But we understand the poor suckers who are still working.)
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