Why do I resist spending money?

[sanfanciscotreat]

We spent 1.5% in 2012. My acountant says we can spend 3.5% and are still not taking SS till age 70. I am working up courage to buy a 2008 Miata as a fun car.

[NW-Bound]

As I stated earlier, I am right at my chosen 3.5%WR and not sure if I can really spend more. However, if anyone here wants to spend more and has problems doing it, then he/she must take smaller steps.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AWeinel Perhaps on a CRUISE?

My proposal is that you do not dive into the pool, but tread lightly in first. No, you do not start by booking a fancy balcony suite on a luxurious ocean liner for a world cruise. That would be equivalent to a person learning to parachute by taking a BASE jump. No, no, no...

May I suggest something more modest? How about starting to go out to eat at local fancy French restaurants, then going up to the ones on the list here: The 20 Most Expensive Restaurants In The U.S. - Business Insider. How about getting bottles of wine of $30-$50, or a liquor bottle of $100-$200? Then, slowly working up to bottles of wine of $100+ and liquor to the $1K?

It may be that after the first experiment you decide that it is not worth that price. Or before long, you may get bolder, and start thinking about business-class airplane seats and staying only at the like of the Four Seasons in NYC?

I'd love to read threads of people who conduct these experiments on themselves. Who knows, I may up my WR to 5% or 6% to catch up with y'all.

[Moemg]

The weird thing is I have no problem spending money on other people ? I spend like crazy on my daughter ,SIL, grandsons & mother but when it comes to me I really over analyse it. Maybe we could get a group therapy rate ? Last New Years Eve I made two resolutions 1- To have a martini 2- to spend most of my budget . I only succeeded on the martini and that was not until this New Years Eve.

[NW-Bound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moemg The weird thing is I have no problem spending money on other people?

I paid for my children college costs. Good thing it was only the local state university. Then, I gave my daughter money for 20% down for her 1st home. I would do the same for my younger son.

[Original Wally]

@ NW Bound... NO NO NO.... DW and I have taken four cruises now, and ALWAYS have an inside cabin.

I was teasing someone ELSE about a cruise to stimulate spending.

DW and I are reasonably frugal. But therapy is helping. lol

[NW-Bound]

My cruises have been with inside cabins too. Just now, I was researching Alaskan cruises (I still think it's more adventurous and better for sightseeing from an RV, but you know how women think), and saw that prices of balcony rooms were not too bad. Note "rooms", not "suites".

No, one upgrade step at a time... I was only half-joking too.

[Bestwifeever]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alan ....We have a trip to Europe coming up in April so I told her than since we hurt so much on those long-haul flights that we should fly First/Business, and for the dates we want it would cost ~$4,400 each instead of ~$1,000. It took a couple of weeks for the idea to take root, and then today she came to me with some figures. If we fly to New York we can sail over to Southampton for $699 on the QE II, returning in September on the Queen Mary, which is more expensive but with all the added expense it is still substantially cheaper to do this than fly Business Class....

Aren't you the sly one planting the "spend more on the transit" idea! Now insist on the business class to and from NY and you will probably still break even vs business class cost all the way to Europe.

[Meadbh]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NW-Bound May I suggest something more modest? How about starting to go out to eat at local fancy French restaurants, then going up to the ones on the list here: The 20 Most Expensive Restaurants In The U.S. - Business Insider. How about getting bottles of wine of $30-$50, or a liquor bottle of $100-$200? Then, slowly working up to bottles of wine of $100+ and liquor to the $1K?

If I had to choose between spending $1000 on liquor at an expensive restaurant or a cruise, the cruise would win hands down. Every man / woman to his / her own.

[haha]

I think people who have difficulty spending money are lucky. More people have difficulty not spending money. Unless you find yourself without people in your life,there is no penalty for not spending enough, except perhaps some idea in your head that you really should be spending more.

I think I have been more or less reasonaly frugal, which is long way from the frugality encountered daily on this board.

I would not worry about this nonproblem, unless you are getting blowback.

Ha

[rkser]

This post is close to home, I too am afflicted with the disease of being FRUGAL(Cheap),
My children often joke about this, but I dont want to replace our three older but perfectly functional cars.

Interesting Post.

[NW-Bound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meadbh If I had to choose between spending $1000 on liquor at an expensive restaurant or a cruise, the cruise would win hands down. Every man / woman to his / her own.

Sorry for not being clear. The prices for booze that I mentioned would be as purchases for consuming at home. I would be spending $1K for a bottle to enjoy at home long before spending that much for a bottle at a restaurant. Markup is outrageous at restaurants as we know.

And I have once eyed a $1K bottle of Cognac a long time ago, with the idea that I would buy it for myself for my 50th birthday. Well, that birthday passed, and I did not buy it. I could not even remember if I did anything special that day! Maybe for my 60th birthday. And then very likely not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha I think people who have difficulty spending money are lucky. More people have difficulty not spending money. Unless you find yourself without people in your life,there is no penalty for not spending enough, except perhaps some idea in your head that you really should be spending more. I think I have been more or less reasonaly frugal, which is long way from the frugality encountered daily on this board. I would not worry about this nonproblem, unless you are getting blowback. Ha

Now that I have stopped working, have no income coming in, yet have more free time on hand, I worry more about overspending than I ever have.

[Alan]

Thanks Dreamer, my DW is brilliant and loves planning all these long vacations we've able to do since retiring. Neither of us desire lots of material things, and we live in a 2 bedroom apartment that is very easy to keep, and drive a low mileage car that should last a few more years yet.

[ejman]

Dunno, maybe I'll be able to work my point of view more towards that feller who said " I spent most of my money on women and whiskey - the rest I just wasted"

[chris2008]

It is difficult to overcome lifetime habits.
But it is never too late to try.

I have people with the same "problem" in my family.
While I am encouraging them to spend more on making their life nicer /easier / more interesting I notice that I have the same habits.
When I go shopping it is more like window shopping and being happy that I could afford but neither need nor want all this stuff.

Now my retirement date is only 6 months away. Our income will drop then for 10 years till my pension kicks in. So it is planned to use some of our savings during this period. I wonder if I can or will try to get along with DH's pension only...

[Ronstar]

We don't resist spending money. We still work, buy almost everything we want, but still save 25% of income and live below our means. I have noticed that my mad money spending has gone down as I have cut down on work hours. This is a good sign - knowing that I can be frugal if I have to.

[Moscyn]

Being frugal is good - but everything in moderation. I don't want to be on my death bed thinking why did I deny myself of a particular purchase or experience when I have surplus money in the bank. Once your financial goals are met, it's great to allow some spending on non-necessities. Also, as one grows older and have relatives and friends departing in life, I find that it is easier to be less frugal when one can afford so. Someone once said that using money to buy experiences is better than purchasing an item. So, next time you find you have surplus, how about spending it on an experience like a holiday or opera tickets or wine tasting event or splashing on a good meal and inviting your loved ones along.

[old woman]

I find I can give people money easier than I can spend money on myself. So I have a man in my life and buy myself things he would want like boats. I keep them but he can use them. I also find I can buy assets easier than paying expenses so like with the boat I am fine paying for it. Then I tell him I can't afford, gas, oil, bait, launch fees or repairs. So he takes care of my boat for me even cleans the fish.

When I was married my ex liked to fritter money so I insisted we buy a house. He hated debt so was fine with me making extra payments and if he bought things like stain for the deck I considered it a capital purchase not a frittering. So I got assets and he got to go shopping.

In the 26 years I have lived with this boyfriend he and I earned about the same amount but I have a net worth of over 700K and he doesn't have more than 10K. He pays me more in rent than my house payment as well as supporting my boat. I have no problem buying him socks or something when I am out as a gift.

Since I am fine with spending on other people I allow myself to buy myself gifts too. So if I want new dishes or something I don't need I ask myself if I would buy that as a gift for someone else then be generous with myself. Usually still I come home with nothing I don't need or haven't wanted for a long time.

[Tree-dweller]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meadbh I think that is a brilliant idea and am considering doing something similar. After all, what's the hurry? You're retired! Life is a journey, not just a destination.

+1. Opting for the slow, comfortable cruise over the fast, uncomfortable jet is "thinking outside the box", in more ways than one.

For the OP: A former colleague of mine had a desk ornament that read "He Who Dies With The Most Toys Wins." That's an extreme I never agreed with, but as a long-term advocate of all things frugal, I still like popping for the odd extravagance; still rare, but more often now that the kids are through college and I'm retired, I'm finding.

[Midpack]

Interesting thread, most of what I'd say has already been said. I'm also a cheap tightwad, spending much less than probability would suggest we could. But like others, old habits die hard, and we're very comfortable at current spending with a few small splurges here and there.

We don't feel a need to maximize utility - yet. The overriding driver for us at present is - with about 40 years ahead of us and no pension, annuity or subsidized health care (beyond SS & Medicare at 65) - the range of outcomes is too broad to push the envelope early on. Just look at FIRECALC results, with endings from relatively wealthy to living under a bridge eating catfood. Of course, we'd all adjust along the way to avoid either extreme, and I am sure we'll loosen up as the decades pass.

In the meantime I feel no anxiety, nor do I feel deprived. Actually, it's like an enjoyable game at this point, seeing how we can maintain a very comfortable lifestyle while reducing unnecessary expenses. We've found new ways to reduce expenses on insurance, satellite TV, mobile phones, lawn care, gasoline, utilities and developed new skills to fix things around the house (instead of replacements). And I've "discovered" all sorts of free & low cost activities that I actually enjoy more than the (very) costly activities we used to engage in. We still splurge once in a while (just much less often), but there are tons of really enjoyable free activities that we'd been overlooking for decades. It's been great fun so far...

[Donzo]

I was tight and concerned about spending for the first year or so. I have been enjoying spending on things I enjoy for the last few years. Its good to have hobbies and to do things that interest you. You have to weigh the facts and do what feels right. If my portfolio was taking a big hit I would cut back - but, now I am good at spending