Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-24-2013, 11:08 AM   #41
Moderator
MBAustin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,146
Glad to hear that things are turning around. It sounds like this was a good time for getting on the same page after all and that the result will be better alignment and communications on finances - which is all good in my book!
__________________

__________________
"One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute." William Feather
----------------------------------
ER'd Oct. 2010 at 53. Life is good.
MBAustin is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 06-24-2013, 11:53 AM   #42
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,014
Data are key to good decision making. Sounds like DH did not previously have a good handle on the expenses data. It might be very helpful to analyze the percentage of income that is going to offspring for each of you.
__________________

__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2013, 12:14 PM   #43
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 392
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh View Post
Data are key to good decision making. Sounds like DH did not previously have a good handle on the expenses data. It might be very helpful to analyze the percentage of income that is going to offspring for each of you.
The offspring thing is not something I can even address. This is one area where he feels he has total say and bristles at anything I might say. We have been married 10 years so I know this. I was very annoyed at this in the beginning (no way to really uncover that prior to marriage) but now I try to look at it as a positive. I feel total freedom to do what I want for my son. He doesn't do anything stupid, we just have very different approaches to kids and money.

Another reason I wanted to buy my son the condo is that even though we each brought half the assets in this marriage, we decided to split the estate 3 ways evenly in our trust. But he spent his inheritance on college, I am not. So I am spending 25% of the inheritance on this condo, so I can feel like in case I die, some of my family money makes it way directly to my only heir and set him up for some small measure of success.

The only thing he agreed to pre-ER, was no paying for big weddings. Each kid gets 10K and that is it. We'll see if he sticks to it! haha
__________________
BellBarbara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2013, 01:21 PM   #44
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Mulligan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 7,369
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellBarbara View Post

The offspring thing is not something I can even address. This is one area where he feels he has total say and bristles at anything I might say. We have been married 10 years so I know this. I was very annoyed at this in the beginning (no way to really uncover that prior to marriage) but now I try to look at it as a positive. I feel total freedom to do what I want for my son. He doesn't do anything stupid, we just have very different approaches to kids and money.

Another reason I wanted to buy my son the condo is that even though we each brought half the assets in this marriage, we decided to split the estate 3 ways evenly in our trust. But he spent his inheritance on college, I am not. So I am spending 25% of the inheritance on this condo, so I can feel like in case I die, some of my family money makes it way directly to my only heir and set him up for some small measure of success.

The only thing he agreed to pre-ER, was no paying for big weddings. Each kid gets 10K and that is it. We'll see if he sticks to it! haha
I understand the difficulties in dealing with partners off-spring. Appears it is going as well as possible. My GF and I decided the best way for us to deal with it, is to not deal with it at all. We plan on living together, but not until both sides offspring have flown away and built their own nest. Six years and waiting! Oh well, we only live a half a mile away from each other and it eliminates all problems.
__________________
Mulligan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2013, 05:56 PM   #45
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 392
I am totally happy in my marriage but honestly, I would have just lived together after I discovered all the financial issues. For example: he was high wage earner and his income counted toward my son getting financial aid....so he got none, even though my new husband was not going to be paying my son's college. If I hadn't married him, my son would have gotten a nice chunk.

Overall, I think it is easier when there are kids.
__________________
BellBarbara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2013, 09:19 PM   #46
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
audreyh1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 16,451
That's great, BellBarbara!

Maybe soon, when he's calmed down a little more, your husband will thank you for having kept the ship on course all these years while he wasn't paying attention.
__________________
Well, I thought I was retired. But it seems that now I'm working as a travel agent instead!
audreyh1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-25-2013, 02:13 AM   #47
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 1,004
Be happy for collecting all the data.
Imagine such discussions without any solid data to get back to and to keep emotions under control.....
__________________

__________________
chris2008 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:19 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.