Would you share ? - Page 2

bbbamI · 12-31-2007, 02:50 PM

I've always said, "what's mine is mine and what's his is mine.

Of course I would share with my husband. We've been "sharing" over 30 years and after all this time, I should trust him...and I do.

If I were not married, I suppose my SO would enjoy the benefits of the windfall, but the money would be in my control.

Nords · 12-31-2007, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moemg

After reading the wife inherited $600,000 thread I started to wonder .If you inherited a substantial amount would you share it with your partner or SO ? And how much would you be willing to share ?

Spouse and I share everything.

I kept a separate brokerage account when I inherited a small "brilliant investor" stake from my grandfather. But that was mainly for my own protection-- I was going to work on shorting & options and I didn't want to be doing that in the ER portfolio. When I got tired of it and realized that I'd have to keep track of its investments, too, I dumped it into our ER account.

Milkman · 12-31-2007, 04:21 PM

Both my wife and I have children from previous marriages. Most likely we will both recieve inheritances from each of our families. As one previous poster said, we would share the benefits of the improved lifestyle that it would bring us, but regarding the principal amount of "family money" we primarily consider ourselves caretakers for the next generation. On the other hand our retirement savings are to provide security for our lifetimes and would be treated accordingly. What ever remains after we are both gone would go to our respective offspring.

Milkman

Walt34 · 12-31-2007, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retire@40

If you are married it all goes in the same pot. If you think that would cause a problem now or down the road, then maybe you should not stay married.

My sentiments exactly. It's called "sharing".

Keim · 12-31-2007, 04:50 PM

Easy choice for me. We're married, we share everything.

Question for those of you that would not share. What if the shoe was on the other foot? If your spouse inherited that kind of money, would you expect them to share? Be honest with yourself...

Moemg · 12-31-2007, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keim

What if the shoe was on the other foot? If your spouse inherited that kind of money, would you expect them to share? Be honest with yourself...

If my So inherited a lot I would expect him to make our life easier so he should expect the same from me .As long as it is a commited long term relationship .If it was just a short term thing ,nothing should be expected .

boilerman · 12-31-2007, 05:43 PM

Until the question was asked of the OP, I wouldn't have even considered NOT sharing. Married 25 years, we share everything.

Vincenzo Corleone · 12-31-2007, 06:20 PM

I'm expecting to receive a somewhat substantial inheritance and, like the original poster expressed, will spend it on an upgraded lifestyle with my wife. But the money will stay in my name alone. If my wife should come to her senses and leave me

, my grandmother would roll over in her grave if my wife, someone my grandmother never met, would take off with half of the money that my grandmother made with blood, sweat and tears (my grandmother lived through the Great Depression).

I've discussed this with my wife and happily learned that she completely understands.

Moemg · 12-31-2007, 06:31 PM

So all the married people will share . How about some of our single posters ? What would you do ?

Culture · 12-31-2007, 07:18 PM

Been there, done that, yes.

(edit) I am married for 20 years.

Spanky · 12-31-2007, 07:40 PM

Yes - share it.

dmpi · 12-31-2007, 07:44 PM

Share of course. It make no sense for one person to keep it.

calmloki · 12-31-2007, 08:08 PM

After 29 years we aren't married - but i betcha our relationship has outlasted most. Inheritances I've recieved have been plugged into our jointly owned rental properties, but if my gal chooses to segregate her inheritance that's ok with me and i'd understand it. Doubt that would happen though. That's the good thing about being with the same person long enough -

SecondCor521 · 12-31-2007, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moemg

So all the married people will share . How about some of our single posters ? What would you do ?

When I thought I was happily married, I would have shared it, no questions asked, just dropped it into the financial pile.

When I found out she was divorcing me, I would have not shared a penny and taken advantage of my state's laws which say that inheritances are separate property as long as they are not commingled.

At the moment I am completely single so I have nobody to share it with. I would finish funding my kids' college and my retirement, though.

If I had a significant other, I wouldn't share it with her until we were married.

I wouldn't remarry unless I felt I could trust her with sharing inheritances.

2Cor521

growing_older · 12-31-2007, 08:32 PM

When I thought I was happily married, I would have shared it, no questions asked. Later when I was divorced I would have regretted it. Now that I am considering a second marriage, I would probably want some kind of protection in case of future divorce and to protect kids. I'm sure I'm trustworthy and understand committment, but I'm finding it very hard to trust someone else won't change for the worse or fall under some bad influence, no matter how well I think I know them.

toofrugalformycat · 12-31-2007, 09:29 PM

I don't anticipate the problem of an inheritance coming up, but if DH or I get one, we'd probably keep it separate as we do most of our investments. Eventually if we live long enough, he or I may need help from the other, and I'd like to think there will be no question at that time, but we hope to keep our money separate as long as possible.
Having barely survived my parent's disaster of a marriage where money was a constant high-decibel argument, I think merging funds is just asking for trouble.
But I guess it works for some people.

sunshine · 01-01-2008, 02:09 AM

Since I am single there is noone to share with...I would give to the church and charity, but would also travel and spoil myself a little...but that is no different than what I do with money currently.

Texas Proud · 01-01-2008, 02:52 AM

Many answers to the question as it is a very broad one....

If you have been married a long time and no potential divorce, share

If you have just gotten married, keep separate but use it to make the family life better.. but eventually it would be mixed in the joint accounts..

If you are living with someone... the above except no mixing...

If you have a SO that you do not live with... no sharing except that you might pay for more of the 'stuff'... as someone said, better vacation etc... this however would probably lead to a breakup as the other person would probably feel 'entitled' to the money...

old woman · 01-01-2008, 04:11 AM

I don't share money with my guy at all. After 21 years together we have no joint accounts or joint assets and never will. He inherited from an uncle and didn't even tell me how much, it was like he was afraid if I knew he had money I would want some. His mom died last year she owned a small single wide mobile home and a car. He has two half siblings and his mom had adopted a half sister's son. The other kids asked him to give up his share and he said yes but then didn't sign the lawyer papers after considering he didn't like the half siblings so didn't want give them anything.I did ask once if the estate was settled and he said yes, I don't know if he got any money but won't ask and wouldn't expect anything.
When my 81 year old mother goes in 15-20 years I will get 1/3 of an estate worth currently 400K, I don't intend to share it.
My money provides the house and my personal things, he pays me rent and for his personal things so if I have more money we will live in a better house. I will give him a life tenancy in the house when I die but then back to my family. I will also leave him cash worth enough to make sure he doesn't suffer but he will have 3 pensions and SS so a house to live in should be plenty.

donheff · 01-01-2008, 04:34 PM

I would share equally with DW but we have been married for long time and have jointly built up our estate. If she died and I remarried I would keep all of my assets separate so that I could pass the estate to our kids. A new wife could have my survivor annuity, but not the rest. AT this point I believe that would apply to the house as well - maybe a trust so the new spouse could live in it until death. I would expect the same from a new spouse if she had money.

12-31-2007, 02:50 PM	#21
bbbamI Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Dallas Vicinity Posts: 1,811	I've always said, "what's mine is mine and what's his is mine. Of course I would share with my husband. We've been "sharing" over 30 years and after all this time, I should trust him...and I do. If I were not married, I suppose my SO would enjoy the benefits of the windfall, but the money would be in my control. __________________ If you think pleasure in life is over-rated, you haven’t been pleasured enough.

01-01-2008, 04:34 PM	#40
donheff Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 2,694	I would share equally with DW but we have been married for long time and have jointly built up our estate. If she died and I remarried I would keep all of my assets separate so that I could pass the estate to our kids. A new wife could have my survivor annuity, but not the rest. AT this point I believe that would apply to the house as well - maybe a trust so the new spouse could live in it until death. I would expect the same from a new spouse if she had money. __________________ Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler. -- Samuel Johnson

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12-31-2007, 04:21 PM	#23
Milkman Dryer sheet wannabe Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Longmont, CO Posts: 24	Both my wife and I have children from previous marriages. Most likely we will both recieve inheritances from each of our families. As one previous poster said, we would share the benefits of the improved lifestyle that it would bring us, but regarding the principal amount of "family money" we primarily consider ourselves caretakers for the next generation. On the other hand our retirement savings are to provide security for our lifetimes and would be treated accordingly. What ever remains after we are both gone would go to our respective offspring. Milkman

12-31-2007, 04:50 PM	#25
Keim Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 72	Easy choice for me. We're married, we share everything. Question for those of you that would not share. What if the shoe was on the other foot? If your spouse inherited that kind of money, would you expect them to share? Be honest with yourself...

12-31-2007, 05:43 PM	#27
boilerman Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 56	Until the question was asked of the OP, I wouldn't have even considered NOT sharing. Married 25 years, we share everything.

12-31-2007, 06:20 PM	#28
Vincenzo Corleone Dryer sheet aficionado Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 46	I'm expecting to receive a somewhat substantial inheritance and, like the original poster expressed, will spend it on an upgraded lifestyle with my wife. But the money will stay in my name alone. If my wife should come to her senses and leave me , my grandmother would roll over in her grave if my wife, someone my grandmother never met, would take off with half of the money that my grandmother made with blood, sweat and tears (my grandmother lived through the Great Depression). I've discussed this with my wife and happily learned that she completely understands.

12-31-2007, 06:31 PM	#29
Moemg Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Sarasota,fl. Posts: 3,091	So all the married people will share . How about some of our single posters ? What would you do ?

12-31-2007, 07:18 PM	#30
Culture Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 239	Been there, done that, yes. (edit) I am married for 20 years.

12-31-2007, 07:40 PM	#31
Spanky Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 2,784	Yes - share it.

12-31-2007, 07:44 PM	#32
dmpi Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 367	Share of course. It make no sense for one person to keep it.

12-31-2007, 08:08 PM	#33
calmloki Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Independence Posts: 1,419	After 29 years we aren't married - but i betcha our relationship has outlasted most. Inheritances I've recieved have been plugged into our jointly owned rental properties, but if my gal chooses to segregate her inheritance that's ok with me and i'd understand it. Doubt that would happen though. That's the good thing about being with the same person long enough -

12-31-2007, 08:32 PM	#35
growing_older Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 402	When I thought I was happily married, I would have shared it, no questions asked. Later when I was divorced I would have regretted it. Now that I am considering a second marriage, I would probably want some kind of protection in case of future divorce and to protect kids. I'm sure I'm trustworthy and understand committment, but I'm finding it very hard to trust someone else won't change for the worse or fall under some bad influence, no matter how well I think I know them.

12-31-2007, 09:29 PM	#36
toofrugalformycat Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Anchorage Posts: 393	I don't anticipate the problem of an inheritance coming up, but if DH or I get one, we'd probably keep it separate as we do most of our investments. Eventually if we live long enough, he or I may need help from the other, and I'd like to think there will be no question at that time, but we hope to keep our money separate as long as possible. Having barely survived my parent's disaster of a marriage where money was a constant high-decibel argument, I think merging funds is just asking for trouble. But I guess it works for some people.

01-01-2008, 02:09 AM	#37
sunshine Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 52	Since I am single there is noone to share with...I would give to the church and charity, but would also travel and spoil myself a little...but that is no different than what I do with money currently.

01-01-2008, 02:52 AM	#38
Texas Proud Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 3,052	Many answers to the question as it is a very broad one.... If you have been married a long time and no potential divorce, share If you have just gotten married, keep separate but use it to make the family life better.. but eventually it would be mixed in the joint accounts.. If you are living with someone... the above except no mixing... If you have a SO that you do not live with... no sharing except that you might pay for more of the 'stuff'... as someone said, better vacation etc... this however would probably lead to a breakup as the other person would probably feel 'entitled' to the money...

01-01-2008, 04:11 AM	#39
old woman Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 262	I don't share money with my guy at all. After 21 years together we have no joint accounts or joint assets and never will. He inherited from an uncle and didn't even tell me how much, it was like he was afraid if I knew he had money I would want some. His mom died last year she owned a small single wide mobile home and a car. He has two half siblings and his mom had adopted a half sister's son. The other kids asked him to give up his share and he said yes but then didn't sign the lawyer papers after considering he didn't like the half siblings so didn't want give them anything.I did ask once if the estate was settled and he said yes, I don't know if he got any money but won't ask and wouldn't expect anything. When my 81 year old mother goes in 15-20 years I will get 1/3 of an estate worth currently 400K, I don't intend to share it. My money provides the house and my personal things, he pays me rent and for his personal things so if I have more money we will live in a better house. I will give him a life tenancy in the house when I die but then back to my family. I will also leave him cash worth enough to make sure he doesn't suffer but he will have 3 pensions and SS so a house to live in should be plenty.

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