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Would you share ?
Old 12-31-2007, 08:45 AM   #1
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Would you share ?

After reading the wife inherited $600,000 thread I started to wonder .If you inherited a substantial amount would you share it with your partner or SO ? And how much would you be willing to share ? I'd be willing to share the upgraded lifestyle it would bring ( nicer vacations ,better restaurants ,other little perks ) but I would not share the principal .Maybe if I was married I'd feel differently but who knows ?
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Old 12-31-2007, 08:59 AM   #2
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After reading the wife inherited $600,000 thread I started to wonder .If you inherited a substantial amount would you share it with your partner or SO ? And how much would you be willing to share ? I'd be willing to share the upgraded lifestyle it would bring ( nicer vacations ,better restaurants ,other little perks ) but I would not share the principal .Maybe if I was married I'd feel differently but who knows ?
Frank and I both will inherit significant funds. Our fathers (mine a surgeon, his a lawyer) each came from humble backgrounds and worked hard for many years accumulating their estates. I feel like we each have the individual responsibility to wisely shepherd any money we inherit.

I do not want his money nor will I choose to give him mine. That is my individual decision, and in discussing it through the years I have been extremely pleased to find out that he feels the same way. So no, by mutual agreement we will not share it. It turns out that I will inherit first, and that could make things a little sticky for a while but we have been through Katrina and a lot more together. So, I think we can get through it.

We are both "once burned twice shy" when it comes to marriage, so we do not plan to marry. That will make things simpler. I would also look at rules for common law marriage before even thinking about living with anyone. Luckily, Frank and I seem to be happiest living separately. Our homes are about 1-2 miles apart right now.
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Old 12-31-2007, 09:46 AM   #3
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I would share with my spouse. If I didn't want to share, I would get a divorce. If I wasn't married, I would not share with a significant other, but I wouldn't be mixing retirement and other assets with a SO anyways if I wasn't married.
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Old 12-31-2007, 10:04 AM   #4
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Definitely share. DW & I have one checking and investment account. I brought a lot more financial resources to the marriage but her financial contributions are still signifiant. And The marriage is about more than money. This is a second marriage for both of us so its interesting that we both favor sharing resources.
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Old 12-31-2007, 10:18 AM   #5
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Definately share with DW. I worked, she stayed at home and took care of me, the kids and the household. A few years ago, we divided everything into two trusts. If I got a 600k winfall, we would divide it into the trusts so that they are about equal and sheltered. ... but I am old fashion about relationships. IMO, either you have trust and respect for each other or you you go your separate ways... but that's me.
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Old 12-31-2007, 10:22 AM   #6
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Definitely share. After 46 years (of marriage) we trust each other. Sort of a mute question since there will not be any inheritances, but the response is still applicable.
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Old 12-31-2007, 10:38 AM   #7
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i would try to keep the money flowing down the bloodline from which it came. had i a partner that person would benefit just as i would during my life. if i was allowed marriage and a second miracle of producing a child, the majority of cash would go to my partner with the presumption that he would bequeath our child after his death. but as i don't believe in miracles, that money would benefit my partner after my death in trust and then would pass back to blood after my partner's passing.

i don't know how i feel about adoptions. while i'm certain i would want to help an adopted child and even that child's child if born in my lifetime, i don't see myself feeling attached to children of them born after my death. probably i would set up a trust for living generations to revert back to blood after them.

i'm sure it is nothing other than superstition, but i have an affection for the concept of ancestry and find living a scientific life too sterile. at the same time i'm quite certain i would feel differently if i was adopted and if i ever find myself in that situation i will certainly revisit my feelings of ancestry. anyway, that's how i would share that fortune.
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Old 12-31-2007, 11:16 AM   #8
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i would try to keep the money flowing down the bloodline from which it came.
i don't know how i feel about adoptions. while i'm certain i would want to help an adopted child and even that child's child if born in my lifetime, i don't see myself feeling attached to children of them born after my death. probably i would set up a trust for living generations to revert back to blood after them.

i'm sure it is nothing other than superstition, but i have an affection for the concept of ancestry and find living a scientific life too sterile. at the same time i'm quite certain i would feel differently if i was adopted and if i ever find myself in that situation i will certainly revisit my feelings of ancestry. anyway, that's how i would share that fortune.
Fascinating! I am an adoptee who found her "blood relatives" - and while I do have great relationships with them, I do not consider myself a part of their "financial" family (meaning no expectation - or financial obligation whatsover) However, my non-blood "family" is the whole enchilada for me. Family jewelry has been passed on to me - and I have been treated no differently as if they had given birth to me. As for the blood lines, well, I am blessed - there are many to choose from I consider myself Italian by birthright, but not necessarily bloodright! LOL
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Old 12-31-2007, 11:21 AM   #9
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Being married, the obvious answer is yes. But if I was in a "relationship", I would only share it to the extent that I would probably "pay for more things" or "pay more frequently". If I wasn't willing to do that, then I would have to wonder why I was in that relationship to begin with. But my "inheritance" would pass through to my kids.
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Old 12-31-2007, 11:22 AM   #10
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Absolutely share. Everything else (financial and otherwise) is split and this would be no different. Ask anyone going through divorce and you'll see that it can be surprisingly difficult to keep assets separate (depending, of course, on state law).
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Old 12-31-2007, 11:55 AM   #11
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Fascinating! I am an adoptee who found her "blood relatives" - and while I do have great relationships with them, I do not consider myself a part of their "financial" family (meaning no expectation - or financial obligation whatsover) However, my non-blood "family" is the whole enchilada for me. Family jewelry has been passed on to me - and I have been treated no differently as if they had given birth to me. As for the blood lines, well, I am blessed - there are many to choose from I consider myself Italian by birthright, but not necessarily bloodright! LOL
first, apologies to the op for the threadjack.

yes, as i said i certainly would treat adopted children as my own. even their children and that without taking into consideration birthright as opposed to bloodright. but you are right that there is birthright even barring blood.

the mother's side of my family has recently been engaged in divvying up my greatgrandparent's israeli property. he was an early zionist from pre-state times and the property is in the first settlement established outside of jerusalem, now a thriving city. it probably at one time had some hovel on it where they gave birth to about a dozen kids. now it is surrounded by 4 & 5-story condominium buildings so apparently there is some worth to the parcel. my brother & i and another cousin don't want to be bothered. the others are dealing with all sorts of legal issues now.

what is relevant to what you say though is that this piece of land was forgotten by most of us until a zionist cousin of mine decided he wanted his birthright. living for years in israel, he is the son of the adopted son of my greatgrandfather who left no will. i have cousins who feel he has no proper right to the property but my feeling is that he is as much an heir as i.

interesting enough, from the nasty stories of heard of that gr8grandfather, there is some ancestry of which i am not very fond.
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Old 12-31-2007, 11:57 AM   #12
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But if I was in a "relationship", I would only share it to the extent that I would probably "pay for more things" or "pay more frequently". If I wasn't willing to do that, then I would have to wonder why I was in that relationship to begin with.
Seconding your opinion!

If he becomes a DH eventually, well, only then would I buy into (read pay off) his house - then we could cash in on my Veteran property tax rebate - lol
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Old 12-31-2007, 12:13 PM   #13
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DW and I agree to stay together till death. So ya we share.
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Old 12-31-2007, 12:20 PM   #14
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DW just got her inheritance gave it all to me. However, it was less that 5K. Still, I would share with her.
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Old 12-31-2007, 12:39 PM   #15
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Being married, the obvious answer is yes. But if I was in a "relationship", I would only share it to the extent that I would probably "pay for more things" or "pay more frequently". If I wasn't willing to do that, then I would have to wonder why I was in that relationship to begin with. But my "inheritance" would pass through to my kids.
This is exactly how I feel .I can not see saying to my SO ." Have a nice dinner at Mc Donald's I'm going to Ruth Chris's " or "Have a nice time in Orlando while I cruise the greek isles ".
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Old 12-31-2007, 12:40 PM   #16
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DH and I have been married 40 years and have contributed roughly equally to our assets except for the IRAs left to me by my parents. He has benefited from the minimum distributions I have taken over the years, and he is the primary beneficiary on the inherited IRAs should I die before all funds are all disbursed. So, yes, I would share inherited funds with DH. I expect he will do the same for me when he inherits from his parents.

OTOH, we will leave our assets to DD and DS as individual property. Didn't pull the will out, but it says basically that the funds are left to DD/DS individually and are not to be considered community property. If they choose they can comingle their inheritace funds with SIL/DIL, in which case the funds will become community property...thier choice.
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Old 12-31-2007, 12:41 PM   #17
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I would share with my DH, but we've been together for 30 years. I would not share the principal with a SO if I wasn't married. I just can't say what I would do if I'd married later in life. Probably look into a trust for the lifetime of the spouse. I wouldn't want a surviving spouse after my passing leaving my inheritance to his children and cutting out my son. So, that part would have to be ironed out completely. And, I don't trust this stuff about he/she knows what I want and will see to it after I'm gone.
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Old 12-31-2007, 12:51 PM   #18
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There would be no need to share with my DH since what's mine is his and what's his is mine. We have joint accounts and share everything equally. He is a fine man who I can trust wholeheartedly.
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Old 12-31-2007, 01:19 PM   #19
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If I had a windfall of $600k, the question would be whether DW would share any of it with me!
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Old 12-31-2007, 02:20 PM   #20
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If you are married it all goes in the same pot. If you think that would cause a problem now or down the road, then maybe you should not stay married.
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