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Old 11-13-2011, 10:59 AM   #21
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I am the younger spouse. My wife retired to be with me in Azer-bleeding-baijan. If the internet dies on us one more time because the landlord didn't pay the bill, she might re-up.
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Old 11-13-2011, 11:29 AM   #22
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Uh oh. Based on some of the responses on this old thread, you're walking into sensitive territory: retire abroad
My comment was intended to to be positive. If it came across other than that, I apologize. When DW and I married 36 years ago I was kidded about this due to our age difference.
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Old 11-13-2011, 11:41 AM   #23
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DW is 30 years younger and left her job 8 years ago (when we got married) to raise our son. I told her that I would take over when our son was 6, so she could have her career. So far it is working out well.
So is the financial outlook not as rosy as you thought in '09?

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I certainly understand were you are coming from. The culture here is a bit different in that respect (more 1950's meets Stepford wives)! I also ER'd years ago and convinced my wife to stop working (at 22), so we could have a family and enjoy our lives together. My first wife was a "workaholic" and was one of the reasons we grew apart.

The second child (idea) was just a logical extension of my thinking and remains an option. The reality is we would not need the money unless/until there were substancial inflation in the US or a devaluation of the Dollar. Whats love got to do with it???
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Old 11-13-2011, 12:16 PM   #24
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So is the financial outlook not as rosy as you thought in '09?
Actually probably better, as most are aware Peru is/has been one of the worlds best performing/low inflation economies in the world. Real Estate which had tripled between 2007-2010 is probably up another 10% this year and our CD's are paying 8.5-9.5% with about 2.6% inflation.

My wife working has less to do with money and more to do with self-worth. Being 30 years younger, puts her in the position of being perceived by outsiders as having married for money. The reality is we spend far less than her (same-age couples) friends.

When she was home and my son was in private school (since 2 years old), her girlfriends would want her to go to the gym or the private sales all the big stores do for store card holders. My wife would never spend money on herself only on our son or to help family.
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Old 11-13-2011, 12:27 PM   #25
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Actually probably better, as most are aware Peru is/has been one of the worlds best performing/low inflation economies in the world. Real Estate which had tripled between 2007-2010 is probably up another 10% this year and our CD's are paying 8.5-9.5% with about 2.6% inflation.

My wife working has less to do with money and more to do with self-worth. Being 30 years younger, puts her in the position of being perceived by outsiders as having married for money. The reality is we spend far less than her (same-age couples) friends.

When she was home and my son was in private school (since 2 years old), her girlfriends would want her to go to the gym or the private sales all the big stores do for store card holders. My wife would never spend money on herself only on our son or to help family.
Latin America culture must have changed recently. Women are welcome in the workforce but limited in career opportunities and pay tends to lag, and Latin society expects the father to work and the mother to raise the family. This must be quite an experience for both and her family.
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Old 11-13-2011, 03:34 PM   #26
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A. "It would seem fair if the other spouse did xyz" is for divorce, not marriage, IMHO.

B. Each spouse has to do what's best for the other. If that gets to be too hard, or seems unfair, then see A.

C. Asymmetrical marriages challenge all sorts of expectations - yours and society's. See B.

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J? My thoughts are that if i work say 30 years, then it would seem fair to have my partner work at least the same
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Old 11-13-2011, 04:03 PM   #27
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Latin America culture must have changed recently. Women are welcome in the workforce but limited in career opportunities and pay tends to lag, and Latin society expects the father to work and the mother to raise the family. This must be quite an experience for both and her family.
LAM culture will never change . You are correct about pay lagging and I would prefer DW stay at home (probably earns less than 6k) but she is very proud and a loving Mother who wants to prove to our Son her value and has disdain for the lives of TV housewives. I on the other hand prefer to be a "Gentleman of Leisure" (My Fathers term). As far as others prejudices go, we have come to the point in our lives where we can just laugh them off!

I have experienced "Age discrimination" in many forms. When I was a young buck on WS, the more senior managers were always jealous of my fast moving career. When I retired at 33, my friends and family were jealous of my lavish lifestyle.

Last year when my 5 y/o son (a genius) applied to get into an exclusive Catholic private school (Kindergarten, 6k tuition and 1k/month) The Mother Superior could barely keep a straight face during our interview. He was denied after achieving better scores on the entrance exam than his 4 friends.

Today at lunch, DW told me that a childhood friend called to ask if the reason she got her job was because the "OLD GRINGO" had connections at the clinic where she works. I do not!

In LAM culture "beating your wife" is normal and so I do not care what her family thinks of my "work ethic" as long as they know I will always respect my DW.
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Old 11-13-2011, 05:11 PM   #28
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Lemme see if I understand all this:

- A wall street wizard who lived a lavish lifestyle and retired at 33
- A working wife 30 years your junior, about the same age as your daughter
- A 6 year old kid who is a genius
- A nanny to care for the kid, cook and clean while your wife works to help support you

That's quite a resume.
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Old 11-13-2011, 06:01 PM   #29
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LAM culture will never change . You are correct about pay lagging and I would prefer DW stay at home (probably earns less than 6k) but she is very proud and a loving Mother who wants to prove to our Son her value and has disdain for the lives of TV housewives. I on the other hand prefer to be a "Gentleman of Leisure" (My Fathers term). As far as others prejudices go, we have come to the point in our lives where we can just laugh them off!
Both DW and I found it far easier to deal with issues from each other's culture than our own. That is, it was never difficult for me to disregard or turn away from a problem when it was unique to her culture because it didn't mean the same to me. Likewise for her. It took (is still taking?) each of us a long while to learn to identify and respect issues that are unique to just one's culture. And we've got 35 years behind us, more than 1/2 that in Latin America but also here in the US.

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In LAM culture "beating your wife" is normal and so I do not care what her family thinks of my "work ethic" as long as they know I will always respect my DW.
Sorry, but this is not so. For the benefit of readers unfamiliar with Latin America, there is nothing normal or acceptable about spousal abuse. It happens, regretfully, but it is not in any way condoned. There or here.
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Old 11-13-2011, 06:22 PM   #30
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A bigger problem is having a partner who is older and can't afford to retire. This has happened to several people I know. One has had the same partner for over 20 years. They do NOT want to get married. He is older and has suffered several financial setbacks. As a result, she is ready to retire, travel and enjoy life, while he is struggling to keep his home and find regular work.

Another friend remarried a very nice woman with NO assets. He has enough retirement benefits for one but spread over two people it is pretty meager. This is a cause of friction.
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Old 11-13-2011, 06:23 PM   #31
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Lemme see if I understand all this:

- A wall street wizard who lived a lavish lifestyle and retired at 33
- A working wife 30 years your junior, about the same age as your daughter
- A 6 year old kid who is a genius
- A nanny to care for the kid, cook and clean while your wife works to help support you

That's quite a resume.
You have embellished it a bit !

- A wall street wizard young buck (trader) who lived a lavish lifestyle retired at 33

- A working wife (of three weeks) 30 years your junior, 6 years older than your daughter.

- A 6 year old kid who is a genius (insert proud dad emoticon)

- A nanny to care for the kid, cook and clean while your wife works to help support you feel fulfilled.

- The nanny does not clean, thrice weekly maid ($37.00/week) does the cleaning/laundry/ironing.
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Old 11-13-2011, 11:39 PM   #32
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- The nanny does not clean, thrice weekly maid ($37.00/week) does the cleaning/laundry/ironing.

That is what DW wants.
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Old 11-14-2011, 12:07 PM   #33
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That is what DW wants.
I think my DW would agree with this as well
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Old 11-14-2011, 12:41 PM   #34
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But are they willing to move to Peru for it?
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Old 11-14-2011, 01:37 PM   #35
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But are they willing to move to Peru for it?
No way
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Old 11-14-2011, 01:52 PM   #36
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No way
especially not when they can get their husbands to do it.

ha
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Old 11-14-2011, 04:45 PM   #37
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especially not when they can get their husbands to do it.

ha
Move to Peru is that?
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Old 11-14-2011, 09:08 PM   #38
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especially not when they can get their husbands to do it.

ha
Stop making comments like this. DW might see them and get bad ideas.
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Old 11-15-2011, 10:18 PM   #39
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I retired last December at 55. My DW is 53 and continues to w*rk. She was very supportive of my retiring. It has been a good year. At times I am a little bummed when she brings w*rk stress home and when she chooses to w*rk on weekends. I think at times she wishes she didn't have to w*rk when she see how relaxed I am and how much fun I am having. The plan was for her to retire at 55. However, this weekend she said she may work a few more years to increase her pension benefit. I've learned to cut back on expenses in my retirement. She is having a little trouble with that concept. She just needs figure out in her head how she is going to transition from w*rk to retirement.
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