Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-25-2013, 05:57 AM   #41
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
teejayevans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,222
There is a difference between
"you're just lucky" and "you're lucky"
and my response would be different as well
__________________

__________________
teejayevans is online now   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 09-25-2013, 06:01 AM   #42
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,056
I don't mind if someone says "You're so lucky" because I equate lucky with fortunate. And, in some ways I have been lucky. Had family help me out during rough times. Had some investments shoot up in value much higher than I ever thought they would (what, Apple at $200 per share?! Never in my lifetime!!) Good health, etc.

But the slight variation that gets under my skin is "You have no idea how lucky you are!" or "You don't know how lucky you are!" etc. That one, I don't know how to respond to. Politely at least...
__________________

__________________
Andre1969 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 06:30 AM   #43
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
jollystomper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,362
I simply smile and say something along the lines of "I just try as best as I can."
__________________
Current target FIRE date: Under negotiation, can happen anytime.
jollystomper is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 07:10 AM   #44
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 721
I make my own luck.
__________________
panacea is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 07:54 AM   #45
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,869
A lot depends on how well I know the person and how well that person knows me. To those who know me reasonably well, I reply, "No kids, no debts, and a big blob of company stock I cashed out before it dropped in late 2008." To those I do not know well, I include only the company stock cash-out part and that ends the conversation.

As I see it, being able to ER 5 years ago when I was 45 was the combination of some good life choices, LBYM, and some luck. Being an outlier my whole life gave me the mental ability to withstand peer pressure to make decisions which went against the grain, especially being childfree. I know the company stock thing was a big "luck" factor in my being able to ER, but then again I had many coworkers who had a lot, often much more, in company stock than I did but could not ER because they had made different lifestyle choices which made them keep working. And some coworkers (and others) who could ER chose not to because they simply liked working. Without the company stock, I would still have been able to ER but probably not when I did and it would have been tougher and costlier.
__________________
Retired in late 2008 at age 45. Cashed in company stock, bought a lot of shares in a big bond fund and am living nicely off its dividends. IRA, SS, and a pension await me at age 60 and later. No kids, no debts.

"I want my money working for me instead of me working for my money!"
scrabbler1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 07:55 AM   #46
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
2B's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Houston
Posts: 4,330
The people who win the big lottery are lucky. Why is it that almost all of them are broke within a couple of years?

Most people that call you (us?) lucky are mostly jealous. They want what you have (finacial stability) but they aren't willing to do what is needed to make it happen for them. They "need" the new cars, latest gadget, big house. They fact that you don't have all those is irrelevant. You have enough assets to not have to run in the treadmill they find themselves in. That's not "fair."

There's no way you can get them to change their minds. I would suggest you just smile and agree.
__________________
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane -- Marcus Aurelius
2B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 08:12 AM   #47
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,888
Just let it pass, unless they're being openly nasty or snarky, and then address the nasty/snarkiness, not the "luck" part. I've learned that most people simply don't know what to say to others, so they say the first thing that comes into their heads. It's like when people call someone "lucky" for staying slim - it's just a remark; not an invitation to announce that you, far from being "lucky," are careful about diet and diligent about exercise.

I make an exception in the case of truenorth's horrible-sounding SIL. It is unforgiveable to comment on someone's not having had children. No one has any idea if another person may have struggled for years with fertility issues. I would not engage with such piggy comments; just laugh dismissively and change the subject.

P.S. Would your sib stand up for you if you told him/her that SIL's comments are hurtful? Just a thought.

Amethyst

[QUOTE=truenorth418;1360204]My new SIL keeps bringing up my early retirement in front of others. She does it in a kind of snotty way. It is very awkward and annoying. She also openly attributes it to the fact that I haven't had children, as if that's the only reason I became financially independent in my 40s. QUOTE]
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 08:58 AM   #48
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 360
"The harder I work the luckier I get/got." I don't give out advice much anymore other than the generic save and LBYM. When you get that done in 1-2 years stop by and we can go from there.

No one has stopped by yet.
__________________
jayc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 09:07 AM   #49
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
imoldernu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Peru
Posts: 4,616
"You're so lucky"

"Yes, and I'm very thankful for that"
__________________
imoldernu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 09:35 AM   #50
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,690
Same here. I also tell them that it is not enough to work hard. You have to work smart.

We never tell anyone what we have. Not their business, nor would they believe us. They keep wondering though how we can be retired, travel extensively, etc.
__________________
brett is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 09:43 AM   #51
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 270
I can so relate to this topic. I'm the only one in our circle of friends that achieved ER'ed and most of our fiends will likely have to work past 65 because they are not discipline savers and live beyond their means. I wish I had a dollar every time I heard "your lucky", "you sleep on money" or "you have a money tree". I could have ER'ed 10 years ago ... I really care & love these people, but it gets my blood boiling when they say these things. I know they do not mean to get under my skin and I think they are truly happy for me, but it comes across as if I did not have to work hard and sacrifice to achieve ER. Almost as if I just simply bought a lottery ticket and won.

I do consider myself lucky to have been born in America with a loving & supporting family. I was also lucky to get hired by a very successful MegaCorp because I knew someone. I look at these as lucky opportunities in life and it is up to you to either make them a success or failure. Success is hard work.

Ironically I may be saying the same thing ("your lucky") to them someday. My ER plan does not assume SS/Med. We all know these institutions are on the road of bankruptcy. My fear is the Government will reform SS/Med to only people with a low net worth. So people who were discipline savers & LBYM will not qualify because their net worth is too high. I hope this does not happen, but if it does then I think I will have the right to say to them "you are truly lucky" and "you are welcome" for the +$200K I paid in....
__________________
bradaz2488 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 09:58 AM   #52
Moderator
ziggy29's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 15,612
Luck is where preparation meets opportunity.
__________________
"Hey, for every ten dollars, that's another hour that I have to be in the work place. That's an hour of my life. And my life is a very finite thing. I have only 'x' number of hours left before I'm dead. So how do I want to use these hours of my life? Do I want to use them just spending it on more crap and more stuff, or do I want to start getting a handle on it and using my life more intelligently?" -- Joe Dominguez (1938 - 1997)

RIP to Reemy, my avatar dog (2003 - 9/16/2017)
ziggy29 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 10:04 AM   #53
Full time employment: Posting here.
SumDay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 799
Quote:
On "Black Friday" each year I feel the need to post on Facebook: "buy stocks, not stuff ".
As Dave Ramsey says: "Buying stuff you don't need, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like...."

And I agree with those who consider themselves lucky. We've planned, worked hard, worked at jobs we didn't particularly love, but had great benefits and good salaries so we could someday get off that treadmill. We've never had a natural disaster to deal with, nor a serious disabling accident or illness, didn't have kids who would need to rely on us for the rest of our lives, etc. Any of those things could easily derail anyone's plans, no matter how thorough they were. I've seen plenty of hard working individuals who simply cannot get ahead. I am pretty bloody lucky.
__________________
SumDay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 10:33 AM   #54
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 388
Quote:
Originally Posted by travelover View Post
I was born a white, tall male in America and was able to start investing in the early 1980's - all luck. But others with the same luck did not take advantage of it the way I did.
I agree. Not to dispute the OP's point, but there is an aspect of luck involved.

Take me for example - my wife and I have always LBOM and saved/invested prodigiously, just like the OP. I earned a college degree and have worked hard my entire adult life. Because of this, we'll be able to retire early.

But, I've also been fortunate in ways that are completely out of my control. A few:
  • I'm a white male, born and raised in America
  • I didn't grow up in poverty
  • I'm intelligent, which paved the way for a good education
  • I'm analytical, which led me to a career as a software developer, which has been quite lucrative over the last 20 years (in other words, my preferred career provides high compensation)

Again, I'm not disagreeing with the OP. I just think it's helpful to appreciate the good fortune many of us have experienced.
__________________
mrfeh is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 10:35 AM   #55
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
pb4uski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Vermont & Sarasota, FL
Posts: 16,439
Quote:
Originally Posted by travelover View Post
I was born a white, tall male in America and was able to start investing in the early 1980's - all luck. But others with the same luck did not take advantage of it the way I did.
+1, except the tall part
__________________
If something cannot endure laughter.... it cannot endure.
Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.
Slow and steady wins the race.
pb4uski is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 10:42 AM   #56
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
pb4uski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Vermont & Sarasota, FL
Posts: 16,439
Quote:
Originally Posted by bradaz2488 View Post
....but if it does then I think I will have the right to say to them "you are truly lucky" and "you are welcome" for the +$200K I paid in....
I recently accessed my earnings record online and at the bottom of the page it shows the total amount of SS taxes that you and your employers have paid and the total amount of Medicare taxes that you and your employers have paid.
__________________
If something cannot endure laughter.... it cannot endure.
Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.
Slow and steady wins the race.
pb4uski is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 11:18 AM   #57
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 406
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrfeh View Post
I agree. Not to dispute the OP's point, but there is an aspect of luck involved.

Take me for example - my wife and I have always LBOM and saved/invested prodigiously, just like the OP. I earned a college degree and have worked hard my entire adult life. Because of this, we'll be able to retire early.

But, I've also been fortunate in ways that are completely out of my control. A few:
  • I'm a white male, born and raised in America
  • I didn't grow up in poverty
  • I'm intelligent, which paved the way for a good education
  • I'm analytical, which led me to a career as a software developer, which has been quite lucrative over the last 20 years (in other words, my preferred career provides high compensation)

Again, I'm not disagreeing with the OP. I just think it's helpful to appreciate the good fortune many of us have experienced.
My heart goes out to all who are genuinely unlucky and I never get upset when they call me lucky. I accept it and pray for them - One of my best friends has handicapped kid, another college friend(very smart) is just unlucky to find a job because of where he lives and another with health issues. I'm very lucky and fortunate compared to them and many other genuinely unlucky people.

I was talking about the people who absolutely have no issues, earn way more than I do, their house is 2.5 x value of my house, their swimming pool maintenance bill is higher than my property taxes, blow over 1k/day on lavish vacations, have two-three luxurious(bmw/mercedez/lexus) cars, open budget but still have financial problems. They've no clue or any planning about retirement let alone Early retirement. They all think they'll always have same lucrative jobs and do not even have emergency fund. When I tell them I do not have any mortgage/car payment or any kind of debts and have one year expenses saved in cash if I loose my job or if there is any emergency....they just tell me "You're so lucky"...One of them even told me that I'm an idiot that I save money in 529 plans-they think this will prevent kids from getting scholarship - which is not true as 529 is owned by parents not kids.....now that makes me mad, very mad.
__________________
retire2020 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 11:59 AM   #58
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
frayne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 19th Hole
Posts: 2,532
No doubt the birth lottery gives you a step up in life being born white and with hard working and intelligent parents. That said, many of those who tell you how lucky you are had exactly the same start and opportunities but made different choices along the way.
__________________
A totally unblemished life is only for saints.
frayne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 12:49 PM   #59
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Ed_The_Gypsy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: the City of Subdued Excitement
Posts: 5,293
Quote:
Originally Posted by marks View Post
This is one of my favorite Robert A. Heinlein quotes:

"Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded here and there, now and then are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty.
This is known as "bad luck.""
How can I not applaud someone who quotes Bob Heinlein?

I am beyond NRA and still working, so I do not get such comments.

I like the response, "I make my own luck." I am trying to teach my chillin's this. Got one in the fold, not sure about the other.
__________________
my bumpersticker:
"I am not in a hurry.
I am retired.
And I don't care how big your truck is."
Ed_The_Gypsy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2013, 01:04 PM   #60
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 11,615
I think, being charitable, that some people say "you are lucky" as shorthand for "you are in a good spot", not "you achieved your present situation through chance."

I don't get many comments like this because I don't choose to let acquaintances know the details of my financial situation. And, like Travelover, I don't much care what folks think about it. (See the signature line--also by Heinlein.)
__________________

__________________
"Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite." - R. Heinlein
samclem is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:55 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.