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2 months into OMY, BS bucket full, and new boss is an idiot
Old 07-30-2015, 11:43 PM   #1
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2 months into OMY, BS bucket full, and new boss is an idiot

*sigh*

So I left my old job, and joined a new startup just to do a OMY until I can leave Silicon Valley for good next year. I thought surely after 20+ years of this crap, I can stomach OMY...

Not so sure.

The new company is okay, and has a promising product, so the stock options after getting past the one year cliff might be worth something someday, but after two months into the job, my boss is already making me rethink this.

He's one of the biggest idiots I've ever worked for (which is saying a lot because I've worked for some doozies), is totally ineffective, gets way too bogged down in "analysis paralysis", seems to be more interested in talking about work rather than doing any but yet gets paranoid because things don't seem to be moving along as quickly as he'd like, and finds fault with everything. He's the kind of person that no matter how good a job you think you did preparing something, he immediately starts picking it apart.

I'm not the kind of person who sits around wanting compliments all the time, but the flip side of the coin is that I also don't expect to sit around and have my work shredded by somebody who isn't nearly as competent as he thinks he is.

BS bucket is definitely overflowing. I'm ready for this 9-to-5 part of my life to be over. I just can't stand working around these kind of morons anymore.
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Old 07-31-2015, 12:35 AM   #2
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Hey LoneAspen,

I feel your pain! My vague "plan" to ER was still 7-10 yrs out, so I forgot I had a plan, but still kept socking $$$ away. Well, my j*b went from good to pooh. DW and I formulated a 3 yr exit plan, which contracted to 2 yrs, then finally less than a year! I ER'd this year at 45 yrs old, just 10 months into our 3 More Years plan.

For the first time in my life, I started to hate w*rk and a few of the people there. This was not healthy, so I got out because I could get out.

I gave up dreams of a motorhome and 6 months snowbirding in Florida, but found my happiness and joy. Guess I'm not helping much with your OMY...

FB



How close are you to your "number"? Is is worthwhile to tough it out or can you bail now?
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Old 07-31-2015, 12:42 AM   #3
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Got to ask, did you and your w*rk buddies assign any of the idiot(s) special nicknames?

My overseas colleagues assigned some wonderful nicknames to our domestic idiots. Fools in any language or country...

I bet group meetings must be especially fun.
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Old 07-31-2015, 12:50 AM   #4
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How close are you to your "number"? Is is worthwhile to tough it out or can you bail now?
That's great you were able to get out earlier than planned - congrats, and enjoy! It's good inspiration to know it can be done

Based on the assets I have right now, I could in theory bail out now, move back to the Rockies somewhere, and be okay. I could afford to buy a house free and clear, and have enough left over to life a moderate lifestyle.

The only reason I decided to do a OMY is kind of twofold...

1. My previous company's stock (which I was fully vested in when I left) is kind of flat right now while they work towards profitability, which should happen early next year. After that, I do think it will continue an upward trend. I have a secondary grant I could live off of for maybe a year or so, and didn't want to eat into my primary grant until it had gained more in value.

2. I thought as long as I was contemplating a OMY scenario, I'd join another startup that looked promising, and at least get over the one year vesting cliff. So that if they do make it later and have a liquidity event, at least I'd have something.

I'm going to do my best to stick it out. I just hope I can continue biting my tongue for ten more months without actually biting it off
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Old 07-31-2015, 12:57 AM   #5
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Got to ask, did you and your w*rk buddies assign any of the idiot(s) special nicknames?

My overseas colleagues assigned some wonderful nicknames to our domestic idiots. Fools in any language or country...

I bet group meetings must be especially fun.
LOL - Not yet. I have some of my own, but they're not fit to print here

It's a pretty small team, and I'm still learning some of the dynamics. There are a couple people I'm still feeling out how they work (besides boss).

It's funny because I got really spoiled by working for a manager a few years ago whom I consider the only real "leader" I've ever worked for. The guy was brilliant (both technically and managerially), never micro-managed, but was always there for you if you needed. He put enough trust in people to let them run with things. He's also the only manager I've ever told before I started looking, that I was going to start looking, because I respected him that much, and also I wanted him to know if he went off and did something else, I'd be interested in following him if they had need of somebody with my skills.

That guy raised the bar so high, I'm sure it's contributing to my exasperation in working for others who don't stand a chance of being that good in my eyes. I wish I could have stayed working for him, but as the company grew, multiple levels of managers came in between us (and I didn't care to pursue the management path myself), and as I passed the 4-year mark, there wasn't any more financial incentive to stay. If he called me up tomorrow to say he was starting a new venture, I'd probably quit on the spot. Or, if I won the lottery
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Old 07-31-2015, 01:40 AM   #6
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LoneAspen, I'm wondering why you let all of this perturb you. Sure, it's a pain to deal with such a boss, but why not just ignore him? If at some point he choses to terminate you, you haven't lost much in your OMY quest. My suggestion would be to do your "j*b" to YOUR satisfaction and don't worry about what your (very temporary) boss thinks about it. I know that can be difficult because what folks think about us CAN affect us - but if it does, it's on US. Good luck and naturally, YMMV.
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:34 AM   #7
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Very wise advice. Hard to follow, sometimes...

during my final year before retiring, I had to tolerate the control freak who was my supervisor "by delegation" (my actual boss was ineffectual and rarely seen).

Even though I knew I would be leaving, and my final rating was therefore immaterial, I had a 30+ year habit of caring about work. I wish I could have been more Zen about it, but the fact is, I clenched my teeth quite a bit every time Ms. Control Freak put in an appearance (which she did, often). I stuck it out b/c I wanted to retire on my schedule - not let myself be driven out by a garden-variety clash of personalities.

Last word, the people I actually supported made it clear that they respected and depended on me. I'm betting that's the case with you as well.

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LoneAspen, I'm wondering why you let all of this perturb you. Sure, it's a pain to deal with such a boss, but why not just ignore him? If at some point he choses to terminate you, you haven't lost much in your OMY quest. My suggestion would be to do your "j*b" to YOUR satisfaction and don't worry about what your (very temporary) boss thinks about it. I know that can be difficult because what folks think about us CAN affect us - but if it does, it's on US. Good luck and naturally, YMMV.
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:44 AM   #8
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Sounds exactly like my Boss Thank goodness, I will ER next year.

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*sigh*
He's one of the biggest idiots I've ever worked for (which is saying a lot because I've worked for some doozies), is totally ineffective, gets way too bogged down in "analysis paralysis", seems to be more interested in talking about work rather than doing any but yet gets paranoid because things don't seem to be moving along as quickly as he'd like, and finds fault with everything. He's the kind of person that no matter how good a job you think you did preparing something, he immediately starts picking it apart.

.
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Old 07-31-2015, 07:49 AM   #9
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With a little over 6 months to go it is obvious I'm not a long term employee. My boss and some of my peers are starting to dump unwanted tasks my way. Recently my boss set up a Monday morning meeting hundreds of miles from my home. I replied that it was fine but I'll be travelling on Monday and ready to meet on Tuesday. No reply yet. Honestly I don't know if I'll mentally make it much after I turn 59 1/2 in October. However I really would like to collect my year end 401k company contribution along with some medical items and a couple of crowns for DW and I. Hopefully the weekends and two 10 day+ vacations will help recharge me enough to pull through.
My only regret was that I played the voluntary severence card too early. After a mediocre review that fried me considerably I place a letter in my file stating I would be glad to accept any future layoffs to rid the company of slackers like myself. I should have kept my head low and given them my 2 weeks notice when the time came.
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Old 07-31-2015, 08:03 AM   #10
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Does your "boss" know you plan to be there only 1 year?
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Old 07-31-2015, 08:04 AM   #11
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I assume that you are older and more experienced than this idiot boss. Perhaps you can make your OMY more tolerable by befriending this idiot and trying to coach him to be more like the good boss you write about. Worst case, he fails to respond and let's you go and you get freedom a bit early.... best case, he takes some of your coaching to heart and your colleagues will forever be thankful.
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Old 07-31-2015, 08:57 AM   #12
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Thanks LoneAspen. What you are doing is *exactly* one of the scenarios I'm considering in my thread from a week ago: Switching jobs during OMY

I think you are kind of waking me up to the downside. I thought maybe I might explore the startup market and go equity heavy, over salary. But I hesitate because I fear exactly what you have.

And to those who say, "Ignore the stupid boss and don't let it worry you", it isn't easy.

In any case, OMY is a weird situation and I can understand why many of our FIREd friends think we're nuts for OMYing.
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Old 07-31-2015, 09:03 AM   #13
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In any case, OMY is a weird situation and I can understand why many of our FIREd friends think we're nuts for OMYing.
+1

In far too many cases it falls under the definition of "a self-inflicted wound."
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Old 08-01-2015, 07:55 AM   #14
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And to those who say, "Ignore the stupid boss and don't let it worry you", it isn't easy..
+1. I have one of "those" bosses, with a giant, in-your-face personality and who is impossible to ignore. However, I've reached the top of my field at 49, headhunters calling constantly, and it's the largest salary I've ever earned after my prior job didn't end so well after only 15 months. I'm trying to stay 3 years and really deliver so that prior blemish is removed. I also like the mission of the (nonprofit) organization, and it's my favorite should I want to secure a part time gig next on the path to FIRE. Anyway, after a particularly bad day this spring in which my boss and I were screaming at each other over the phone, I bought a small notebook and numbered its pages descending from 18 to 1. At the start of each month, I tear out one, crumple it and throw it in the garbage. I haven't yet set one on fire but I am reserving that method for when I need it. Or maybe I'll tear a month out, run over it a few times in my car, and flush it down the toilet. My team's numbers are way up this year so he is currently off haranguing other VPs. I don't know if my "technique" helps the OP, but these situations force able people like us away from teamwork and into a lifeboat mentality of self-protection-until-escape. It's mostly just sad because a good boss is so important to work satisfaction but so rare. I would say "never again," but it's the second psycho I've reported to so I must be poor at picking them.


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Old 08-01-2015, 01:01 PM   #15
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LoneAspen, I'm wondering why you let all of this perturb you. Sure, it's a pain to deal with such a boss, but why not just ignore him?
The past couple days, I did start to ignore some of his "suggestions" and do things the way I thought they should be done. So far, he hasn't objected. He's also getting some additional responsibilities dumped on him by higher management, things I'd have nothing to do with. So I'm hoping he gets so buried in other managerial tasks he has to take a more hands-off approach and leave me alone.

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Does your "boss" know you plan to be there only 1 year?
Nope, and he won't until June 1, 2016 when I quit. Whether I give two weeks notice, or just walk out the door on that day, is still up in the air. But I'm not staying after my one-year vesting is complete.


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I assume that you are older and more experienced than this idiot boss. Perhaps you can make your OMY more tolerable by befriending this idiot and trying to coach him...
Actually, he's older than I am (probably by about 10 years), but I am more experienced in the particular technical area I'm responsible for. I appreciate the comments about trying to coach him, but I'm not really a "mentor" type of person. I can sit down with somebody and go over a technical subject as a one-time kind of thing, but a longer term mentor (especially for non-technical areas like management) just isn't in my wheelhouse. It's one reason I was only a manager once in my career, and only then for six months. Just not my thing. I'd rather just be a worker bee and get my tasks done to the best of my abilities without interference.

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I thought maybe I might explore the startup market and go equity heavy, over salary. But I hesitate because I fear exactly what you have.
I definitely prefer startups, and after being at two failed ones, and two successful ones, I have a better idea of what to look for, and so far this one I'm at now does have potential. But even if they're a "home run" I just can't devote four more years of my life to sitting in a cube starting at a computer all day. I decided that if I was going to do a OMY, it would be at a promising startup and I'd get over the one-year vesting cliff so at least I have some skin in the game if they do have a liquidity event. But I'll take my one year's worth of options and walk. No way I can do four more years, no matter how much money might be at stake.

The way I look at it is...if they're not going to be worth much, then one year's worth of stock is as good as four - it's a minimal amount of money and not life changing. If they're wildly successful, then one year's worth of stock will be satisfying enough of me, without the need for me to give up another three years worth of my life for more. I'm really counting on my prior startup stock being my pot of gold, not the one I'm at now, which to me is just icing on the cake if they make it.

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...I bought a small notebook and numbered its pages descending from 18 to 1. At the start of each month, I tear out one, crumple it and throw it in the garbage.
LOL - It's funny you mention this, because I did something very similar at my last job.

For a couple months before my four-year vesting completed, my BS bucket was overflowing, so I printed out my resignation letter out each morning with that day's date on it, signed it, and put it in my laptop bag. That was my way of giving myself permission to quit on the spot if something happened that really sent me over the edge.

There was one time a project meeting went horribly wrong, and I headed to my desk and got the letter out of my bag, and was ready to turn it in and walk. But I convinced myself to walk around the block first and cool off. I ended up calming down and finished out the last couple months, then found the new job and left shortly after.

It's too far in advance for me to do the resignation letter thing where I am now, but I do keep a week-by-week checklist at home, and each week I'm done I mark off another week. It's kind of like prisoners marking off ticks on their cell walls as the years go by I guess
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Old 08-01-2015, 05:49 PM   #16
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It's mostly just sad because a good boss is so important to work satisfaction but so rare.
Several years ago there was a thread about the "why" people retired. What struck me about it was the huge number of people who retired because of bad managers even though they actually liked their jobs and otherwise would have stayed much longer.

I was lucky and never had a really bad one. The best one said "My job is to do what I can to make sure everyone has what they need to do their jobs and then get out of the way". A wise man indeed.
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Old 08-01-2015, 06:29 PM   #17
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The last couple of years were more tolerable for me because I knew I could walk away.

It definitely improved my finances that I gritted my teeth and went through it and for the most part, I'm glad things unfolded the way they did.

The work itself was fine but people just ruin things.
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Old 08-01-2015, 06:35 PM   #18
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In some cases, it may not be the boss, but the entire megacorp environment simply sucks. And that is describing it in charitable terms.

Smaller companies seem to do better, in my experience. I think it is because being small, they have to be lean and efficient. They cannot survive for long with all the BS stuff that megacorps impose on their employees.
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Old 08-01-2015, 06:57 PM   #19
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Is it the stock options that you need to stay for or just one more pay year's paycheck? If you can live without the stock options, can you do any kind of work where you work for yourself or do contract work entirely or mostly from home?
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Old 08-01-2015, 07:16 PM   #20
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I think you are kind of waking me up to the downside. I thought maybe I might explore the startup market and go equity heavy, over salary.
Another possible downside, is many start ups have an "all in" mentality and expect 60-80 hours work weeks to match the vague promise to get rich if this works. Never seen that be worth it to anyone except the founder or the most inside circle of execs.
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