Life "Under the Radar"
I've taken advice from Nancy Reagan; I "just say no!!"
I use this line all the time with people who try to snooker me into joining stuff I don't want to join or doing stuff I don't want to do.
OTOH, different strokes for different folks. My sister is in several quilting groups, a book club, and a community women's organization and seems to love having her calendar full of commitments. I've been there and done that and don't want to be committed to do anything at any time if I don't want to. I've helped my sister on many occasions with different fundraisers she was involved with and different activities that she was hostessing, but I don't have to if I don't want to.
+1
Have been at Stage 2 for about 1 1/2 years, dabbling intermittently in Stage 5. Don't see much reason to venture into 3 or 4 because (I'm pretty sure) I did all of that throughout my career, as well as during Stage 1.
As a teacher I was constantly serving on committees and doing lots of "gratis" work that helped out schools and kids. During the parenting years, my calendar was always filled with commitments to work, church, community, and DH's and DS's activities. Now, I've promised myself that I will help out
when I want to. So, for example, even though the local Salvation Army would like me to "count kettles" at least one day a week, from now until Christmas, I've told them I will find 2-3 days to come in, and will let them know which days those will be.
That allows me to really enjoy preparing for the holidays at our house, something I never had plenty of time to do before ER. (Oh, FWIW-- "counting kettles" consists of going in to the SA headquarters after the trucks have dropped off the 100+ kettles that were collected from the bell ringers the night before. A team of us then count and tally all that cash --TWO-THREE TIMES-- to make sure it's accurate. Then we have to prep the bags of $ for when the Brinks truck shows up. The job has so many built-in checks and balances that it's inspiring: it seems that any penny you drop into a kettle does indeed make it to the Brinks truck, and then ends up at the bank. The SA is a conscientious and meticulous organization.)
ANYWAY, once I start "counting kettles," then they always need people to pack the grocery give-aways, wrap the Christmas gifts, work at the gift distribution......there is always so much work to do, and for a good cause.
But, over the years, I've learned the hard way: it's so easy to get exhausted as a volunteer, and then never get a Christmas cookie baked for my own family......
So, am trying to focus on the benefits of "no." It facilitates Stage 2, and a sense of mastering one's own days.
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