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Old 06-28-2007, 02:37 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Cattusbabe View Post
Drives you guys crazy.
Got that right!

Thanks Cattusbabe, you may be right, and I'm just overreacting. To me, I would be so gone doing things that I cannot do now, due to constraints of work, time demands, etc., that the door wouldn't be able to hit me in the a** on my way out. I guess I'll take your advice and wait another 21 months and see if she changes her mind again. It may just be talk.
I'll settle down now and go back to my lurking observing of the wisdom here.

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Old 06-28-2007, 06:41 PM   #22
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Its hard to know without more context but perhaps what you hear as "complaining about her job" may simply be her describing her day. People have a hard time being constantly positive about a topic. In society we're supposed to dislike our jobs and our bosses, aren't we? Its ingrained in pop-culture and so perhaps she's just trying to be "normal" and complain about her job like she's supposed to.

My DH sounds similar to your DW. He complains about his job but when I read between the lines he's simply describing his day-to-day frustrations and, well, venting. Sometimes he's looking for my advice or opinion on how to make things better or how to tackle a problem, but other times he just wants to make conversation. We're both still working but financially, ER will be possible very soon. For me I'm going to have no problem sliding into the ER lifestyle but for DH I think its going to be tough. I've tried bringing up my concern several times over the last 12 months or so and slowly I think he's staring to mull over what his life will be like in ER. He's not ready for it now, I can sense that, but I'm hopeful he's atleast thinking about it.

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Old 06-28-2007, 11:11 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by LiveWell View Post
complain about her job like she's supposed to.
No, I think I got a different impression when she said things like "I put in 7 hours to work my scheduled shift, and then when the night crew didn't show up, they called me back in for another 4 1/2 hours, and I'm so tired that I can barely make it to bed" or "They won't let me have a Saturday or Sunday off for the next two months, because it's Christmas season and all weekends off are canceled - I guess we won't be able to take the RV out till next year".
Or the straw that really got to her was, after working an extra 3 1/2 hours before her normal shift that day to make 512 cookies for the executives coming in from headquarters (which wasn't part of her normal job either), then the district executive after inspecting her work area complained rather viciously that she only had 7 hot dogs on display, instead of 8, and her store manager wouldn't defend her.
I don't think that was normal complaining about her job. But I may be wrong, as I just listened, as there was nothing I could do to fix it, other then remind her that we had enough put away to let her retire when she wanted to, and she chose that moment to do it.
That's why her need for "structure" just blows me away, but as Cattusbabe said, I may be over reacting.
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Old 06-29-2007, 07:32 PM   #24
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Maybe it's not so much that she wanted to retire as she just needed to change jobs ...
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Old 06-29-2007, 09:10 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by haha View Post

How did wives become such tyrants? I think it has something to do with modern divorce laws. "Obey me you worm or you will suffer big time."
Sometimes I wish I were a Saudióclap- clap, you are gone. Go get a job at Wal-Mart.

But in America it is the retired husband who lands in Walmart- and don't think a greeter is as bad as it can get. A few weeks ago I ran across a guy cleaning commodes and urinals in the men's room at WalMart.- a guy who had owned a large farm implements dealership and lots of commercial/ industrial property. Then the Big D! Admittedly he was an obnoxious guy, but then aren't many of us?

I agree that divorce sucks big time and it's too bad that divorce often causes financial hardship. The social contract STILL seems to dictate that women stay home and raise the kids (sometimes ruining their earning power) and the husband supports the family. And this is becoming even more entrenched with the younger generation of married families because young people were raised by parents who both worked and the kids felt the deprivation. So now the young mothers really want to be stay at home moms so their kids won't feel that way. So I don't know what the solution is but I think it's unfair to point the finger at ex-wives who "force" divorced men into Walmart jobs. Those men enjoyed the benefits of dependent wives during their marriage. If they didn't or couldn't provide enough retirement savings for both spouses, then that's the breaks, I guess.

Women certainly need to be thinking twice and thrice about how marriage and having children will affect their earning power. Neither men nor women want to end up working at Walmart or cleaning toliets if divorce enters their lives, which it does more often than not in our country. I don't know why there is so much denial about the real possibility of divorce. I think that marriage really needs to become viewed literally as a legal partnership and the whole romantic mystic needs to be pushed aside. But that's wishful thinking on my part, I'm sure.
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Old 06-30-2007, 10:35 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by Oldbabe View Post
I don't know why there is so much denial about the real possibility of divorce.
Because when it comes to matters of the heart everyones brains are below their belt.

A todos los amantes del mundo. No importa el color de su piel, la pasion es universal.

La tavola e il letto non hanno restrizioni.
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