Adult children living in another area: how often do they visit?

[bright eyed]

My four year old has been recently preoccupied with the fact that people don't live w/ their parents forever!

She finally "got" that her grandparents are my parents...then she asked why we don't live together. I told her when you grow up, you live by yourself or with your own family.

She got very upset, and since then (that was several months ago), she asks about once per week, "when i grow up, will i have to live by myself? where will you live?" the big puppy dog eyes come out and tears well up in her eyes...(i can see them even if i'm driving and she's behind me...hehe)...
so now i tell her, "you can live with me as long as you like, even when you're an old lady"

she much prefers that answer...

i haven't explained the concept or RENT yet though...!

[Moemg]

[]Ah yes, the untold cultural expectations, the guilt...not just in Japan.....

Me (during medical training in the US): Mom, I've been offered a third year of fellowship. This would be great. I could complete my research. What would you think if I stayed here for another year?
Irish Catholic mother: [pregnant pause] Well......[whine]......don't think of me, think of YOURSELF!!!
Me: OK then, I'll say yes!

Next day at work I shared the story....
Colleague: I didn't know your mother was Jewish!!![/quote]


Maybe that's why I visit my mother so much that old Irish Catholic guilt !

[Want2retire]

Originally Posted by bright eyed

My four year old has been recently preoccupied with the fact that people don't live w/ their parents forever!

She finally "got" that her grandparents are my parents...then she asked why we don't live together. I told her when you grow up, you live by yourself or with your own family.

She got very upset, and since then (that was several months ago), she asks about once per week, "when i grow up, will i have to live by myself? where will you live?" the big puppy dog eyes come out and tears well up in her eyes...(i can see them even if i'm driving and she's behind me...hehe)...
so now i tell her, "you can live with me as long as you like, even when you're an old lady"

she much prefers that answer...

i haven't explained the concept or RENT yet though...!

My daughter (now 29) felt the same way when she was four, but also wanted to be a fireman. She was really upset at the idea that she would have to live in the fire station to do that! She wanted me to live there, too. I told her that I wouldn't, but that I would live next door and bake cookies for her and the other firemen and she could come over whenever she wanted to. She liked that pretty well.

When she really DID grow up and left home, her first apartment was about two blocks from our house and she shared it with a girlfriend she had known since first grade. The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step, I suppose. Within a year or so she was able to cut those apron strings. Now, she lives out on the west coast. Thanks for bringing back those memories of when she was 4.