After FIRE, facing the fading of *some* dreams

[Doribe]

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Originally Posted by NW-Bound Most people who do full-time RV'ing only last 2 to 5 years doing that. It sounds really adventurous and romantic, but having to move every so often becomes a chore. And then, you run out of new things to see, and do not have room for hobbies in a long-term basis (like my wife's vegetable gardening and my electronic hobby). So, I realize that long RV trips up to 2 or 3 months work best for me. And once a year (or two years) is enough. This way, I will not get tired and give it up. The current thinking is when I get older, meaning 6 to 8 years down the road, will downsize to a class B and keep going.

This sounds like a good approach. We did one 3 month RV trip and one 1 month trip. I am a planner, so I have to make plans for future trips. I like the idea of 2 to 3 month trips, except leaving my house unattended scares me a little.

[Doribe]

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Originally Posted by LuckyDog I always figured to walk the Appalachian Trail upon retirement. Then upon retirement, I realized that it just wasn't going to happen. The mind could do it, but don't think that this body could do it...

I think a few day hikes will satisfy me in this area. I don't need to prove anything to anyone. Most of my goals are related to increasing my fitness level and finding fun and enjoyable ways to keep fit. I haven't been diving in about 5 years, so I want to get back to dive level fitness.

[Mdlerth]

I have been camping countless times since I was in the Boy Scouts. I enjoyed it immensely, but times changed, children grew older, we got into other activities, and fewer camping opportunities arose.

One day I made an impulse buy and picked up an inexpensive fire pot on the clearance rack at Target. I set that baby up, tossed some logs in it, and voila! Wife and teenagers all drifted outside to share in the smoky, crackling wonder that is fire; a magical moment indeed.

It was then that I understood that what I liked most about camping was the evening campfire. We could melt smores, share anecdotes, poke at the coals, etc., just the same as if we had slogged miles out into the trackless wilderness.

Best of all, we still had ready access to flush toilets, hot showers and our own beds! It's camping without all the dirt and bugs and waking up to find that an undetected tree root had made a permanent dent in your spine.

So get yourself a fire pot and see if it doesn't convince you that, instead of your camping dreams being unreachable, you've actually improved upon them!

[swakyaby]

Well, I certainly share your retirement dreams; we must be kindred spirits. From the stress of w*rk, I always wanted a nice little backyard vegetable garden. But when we built one 4 foot x 8 foot raised wood planter in our backyard, we received a stern HOA notice that it was not allowed without architectural approval. So I contacted a landscape contractor and asked if he could create a backyard kitchen garden for me that would be approved by the HOA. He assured me he could, saying "HOA's are no match for me!"

My second retirement dream was to visit and camp at the national and state parks and walk through the nature trails, something I hadn't done since I was a child. I was not keen on roughing it anymore in a tent. Fortunately, DH was all in on the idea of a travel trailer. It's a good thing too, since I think trying to attach the sway bars and tow hitch would be too difficult for me alone. I do think a travel van or camper where you don't have to do any hitching would be easier for a single woman.

[Pellice]

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Originally Posted by swakyaby Well, I certainly share your retirement dreams; we must be kindred spirits. From the stress of w*rk, I always wanted a nice little backyard vegetable garden. But when we built one 4 foot x 8 foot raised wood planter in our backyard, we received a stern HOA notice that it was not allowed without architectural approval. So I contacted a landscape contractor and asked if he could create a backyard kitchen garden for me that would be approved by the HOA. He assured me he could, saying "HOA's are no match for me!" My second retirement dream was to visit and camp at the national and state parks and walk through the nature trails, something I hadn't done since I was a child. I was not keen on roughing it anymore in a tent. Fortunately, DH was all in on the idea of a travel trailer. It's a good thing too, since I think trying to attach the sway bars and tow hitch would be too difficult for me alone. I do think a travel van or camper where you don't have to do any hitching would be easier for a single woman.

Love that garden, Swaky. I am still considering options.

[flyingaway]

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Originally Posted by aja8888 I wanted to play for the Yankees (as a youth). Got as far as being a starting pitcher in college, but wasn't major league material. So I became an engineer. As far as doing great things in retirement, I'm still looking for new ideas, but DW is so ill (long term), I have been on hold. I helped a friend build a kit boat for two weeks in the Michigan U.P., but that was a vacation of sorts. DW had a caretaker for that period. For those who are planning and dreaming, get your self in gear before you get too old or ill.

Yes, definitely. When the day breaks, your dream is over.

[cbbennet]

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Originally Posted by Pellice Have any of you had the experience of having FIRE making oneself confron the reality of some long - held dreams? One thing I hadn't anticipated after FIRE was acknowledging the likelihood that some dreams may go away. I guess it was easier while w*rking to put off thinking about the pluses and minuses and just hoping things would happen. And it's certainly not ALL dreams, just a few that I can now cast a more realistic gaze at. One is camping. I've only camped a couple of times in my life. My family were not campers, and I never had a boyfriend who camped. I enjoyed my couple of experiences camping a lot, and I think I could get into it - the campground life, trying to cook fancy stuff over a campstove, play cards, making acquaintances. I already do a lot of walking and hiking, so that isn't an issue. Along the way, I acquired a nice tent and backpack and sleeping bag - none ever used. Well ... I am an over-62 female, have hardly any experience camping, can't even build a fire or pitch a tent. I may have missed my window! Since I am unwilling to really put the amount of effort it would require to catch up on camping expertise. This dream just may not happen. A second one is more externally driven. A vegetable garden. I've had a vegetable garden for 20 years, just not a very good one. Now my Homeowner's Association has decreed: no vegetable gardens. I appealed, but was rejected with one sentence. Probably no one even read my appeal. I had dreamed that when I FIRED, I would finally have the perfect little vegetable garden, but today I took out the weeds and my remaining vegetables, except for on cherry tomato plant. Probably have to take that out too. But ... my plot was becoming progressively less viable as neighboring trees grew and cast more shade. I've considered three options - taking a community plot somewhere, moving my gardening further to the rear of the property, where there is a wild field, or severely downsizing into a few containers. But I know I'd never keep up a plot if I couldn't walk to it, and the wild field would mean constant assaults from weeds and animals, and the containers aren't really gardening. So that dream is either going away or going on hold until I move - and it's even less likely to happen if I am older. Well, I have plenty of other dreams. How about any of you? Did you find that even after FIRE, you just couldn't make some dreams happen?

Pellice, don't five up on camping - it is totally awesome. Join a Meetup group and go with them. I don't know where you are but here is a link to an all women group near me, hopefully there are Meetup groups near you.
https://www.meetup.com/ladytrailblazers/?oc=evam

[AnIntentionalRoad]

Join some meetups or other clubs and pursue those dreams. No reason why a 62 yo should not be out camping!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pellice Have any of you had the experience of having FIRE making oneself confron the reality of some long - held dreams? One thing I hadn't anticipated after FIRE was acknowledging the likelihood that some dreams may go away. I guess it was easier while w*rking to put off thinking about the pluses and minuses and just hoping things would happen. And it's certainly not ALL dreams, just a few that I can now cast a more realistic gaze at. One is camping. I've only camped a couple of times in my life. My family were not campers, and I never had a boyfriend who camped. I enjoyed my couple of experiences camping a lot, and I think I could get into it - the campground life, trying to cook fancy stuff over a campstove, play cards, making acquaintances. I already do a lot of walking and hiking, so that isn't an issue. Along the way, I acquired a nice tent and backpack and sleeping bag - none ever used. Well ... I am an over-62 female, have hardly any experience camping, can't even build a fire or pitch a tent. I may have missed my window! Since I am unwilling to really put the amount of effort it would require to catch up on camping expertise. This dream just may not happen. A second one is more externally driven. A vegetable garden. I've had a vegetable garden for 20 years, just not a very good one. Now my Homeowner's Association has decreed: no vegetable gardens. I appealed, but was rejected with one sentence. Probably no one even read my appeal. I had dreamed that when I FIRED, I would finally have the perfect little vegetable garden, but today I took out the weeds and my remaining vegetables, except for on cherry tomato plant. Probably have to take that out too. But ... my plot was becoming progressively less viable as neighboring trees grew and cast more shade. I've considered three options - taking a community plot somewhere, moving my gardening further to the rear of the property, where there is a wild field, or severely downsizing into a few containers. But I know I'd never keep up a plot if I couldn't walk to it, and the wild field would mean constant assaults from weeds and animals, and the containers aren't really gardening. So that dream is either going away or going on hold until I move - and it's even less likely to happen if I am older. Well, I have plenty of other dreams. How about any of you? Did you find that even after FIRE, you just couldn't make some dreams happen?

[JoeWras]

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Originally Posted by travelover I'd caution against fixating on specific activities. I think the key to being happily retired is to be able to say that you enjoyed the day. Negative thinking , like "I should read more" or "I should travel more" is kind of self defeating - catering to other's expectations.

Thank you. That's good advice.

Here I am a week from retirement, and I have cow*rkers putting pressure on me to come up with some "retirement career" or something. It isn't good enough to say, "I'm going to downshift, sleep in, do volunteer work, explore my hobbies, explore more exercise options... as I see fit."

Nope. Not good enough for them. Gotta have an exact plan. "You'll be bored out of your mind." "Don't worry, you'll be back."

Blah, blah, blah.

[Dtail]

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Originally Posted by JoeWras Thank you. That's good advice. Here I am a week from retirement, and I have cow*rkers putting pressure on me to come up with some "retirement career" or something. It isn't good enough to say, "I'm going to downshift, sleep in, do volunteer work, explore my hobbies, explore more exercise options... as I see fit." Nope. Not good enough for them. Gotta have an exact plan. "You'll be bored out of your mind." "Don't worry, you'll be back." Blah, blah, blah.

Sounds like jealousy to me. Could be a wake up call to them and they don't wish to acknowledge and thus the comments.

[JoeWras]

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Originally Posted by Dtail Sounds like jealousy to me. Could be a wake up call to them and they don't wish to acknowledge and thus the comments.

It is. It is just another "Annoying Megacorp People" trait I should add to the thread. "Meddlesome Mike." Going over to that thread right now.

[REWahoo]

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Originally Posted by JoeWras Here I am a week from retirement, and I have cow*rkers putting pressure on me to come up with some "retirement career" or something. It isn't good enough to say, "I'm going to downshift, sleep in, do volunteer work, explore my hobbies, explore more exercise options... as I see fit." Nope. Not good enough for them. Gotta have an exact plan. "You'll be bored out of your mind." "Don't worry, you'll be back."

Reminds me of the guy I met on the cruise we took the week after I retired. When he asked me what my plans were I replied with something similar to what you said above. He got a concerned look on his face, leaned close to me and said very seriously, "You need to keep working at something or you'll be dead in less than 10 years."

13 years later I'm still alive, still healthy, and haven't worked a lick.

[Dtail]

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Originally Posted by REWahoo Reminds me of the guy I met on the cruise we took the week after I retired. When he asked me what my plans were I replied with something similar to what you said above. He got a concerned look on his face, leaned close to me and said very seriously, "You need to keep working at something or you'll be dead in less than 10 years." 13 years later I'm still alive, still healthy, and haven't worked a lick.

That's the deal. The concept that work is the only way to exercise the brain is false. DIY Investing, volunteering, etc and all the other DIY activities whether mental or physical are more than enough of "doing something".

[LOL!]

As already mentioned many times in this thread, there is no reason presented not to do some camping. But camping does mean different things to different people. To me it means backpacking solo into the wilderness and not seeing any humans for about a week at a time. That's not for everybody. I leave the dog at home with my wife.

It turns out that watching youtube.com videos is about all one needs to figure out camping no matter what your particular style is, since somebody has already made numerous videos available and put them up for you to watch. There is probably no place on Planet Earth anymore that doesn't have a video posted on youtube about it.

And a hint on which videos to watch: Don't get hung up watching the 20-year olds because they haven't got the life experiences that you have yet. Instead watch the camping videos of the 60+-year-olds if you can stand them.

One more thing to add: I recently spent a week out in the wilderness with a friend of mine. His wife wouldn't let him go alone partly because he had open-heart surgery a few years ago. So I will say any limitations that you are thinking about might only be in your mind.

[Chuckanut]

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Originally Posted by JoeWras T Here I am a week from retirement, and I have cow*rkers putting pressure on me to come up with some "retirement career" or something. It isn't good enough to say, "I'm going to downshift, sleep in, do volunteer work, explore my hobbies, explore more exercise options... as I see fit." Nope. Not good enough for them. Gotta have an exact plan. "You'll be bored out of your mind." "Don't worry, you'll be back."

You were very wise to ignore this so-called advice.

[W2R]

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Originally Posted by JoeWras Thank you. That's good advice. Here I am a week from retirement, and I have cow*rkers putting pressure on me to come up with some "retirement career" or something. It isn't good enough to say, "I'm going to downshift, sleep in, do volunteer work, explore my hobbies, explore more exercise options... as I see fit." Nope. Not good enough for them. Gotta have an exact plan. "You'll be bored out of your mind." "Don't worry, you'll be back." Blah, blah, blah.

Before I retired, I was asked by not one, not two, but THREE levels of management if I would take a consulting job with our agency. They dangled goodies in front of me... part time, telecommuting, higher pay, whatever I wanted. Each time I looked them in the eye and responded, dead seriously: "There is not enough money in this agency's entire budget to pay what I would require for consulting work".

My co-workers all said I would get bored and I'd be back in a New York minute. I said, "Watch me. Not gonna happen."

I think that part of the problem is that their entire understanding of who we are, is based on our role at work because that is all they ever see. Just write that off as the babbling of rigid minds, and don't take it seriously unless/until you find that you are bored. Personally I really haven't been anywhere near as bored in retirement, as I was at work.

[Rianne]

I borrowed my dream from another who actually made her dream come true. She built a 25 acre dog park with a pond much like a swimming pool but had a beach around it for the dog owners to gather and chat. She put an incredible agility course to keep the dogs active and thinking. There is a clubhouse with 3 grooming/baths and provided towels, blow dryers, nail clippers a washer/dryer and sinks. $10. Every dog had to have papers that proved all their shots and they had to pass a personality test to be allowed to join. The entire doggy country club cost $1/day and you could pay 3 months at a time.


When I win the lottery, this is my dream.

Meadow Run Park - Pictures of Meadow Run*Park

[Rianne]

This is the better link, click on pictures of the park if interested.



Meadow Run Park - Home

[braumeister]

Quote:

Originally Posted by REWahoo He got a concerned look on his face, leaned close to me and said very seriously, "You need to keep working at something or you'll be dead in less than 10 years."

When I was just a 2nd Lt., I read an article (I've never been able to find it since then) that looked at retired 4-star general officers from all services. It showed that their average lifespan after retirement was less than three years.

That made a deep impression on me, as it seemed to show that if you let your work become your life, then when your job ended your life would soon follow.

My reaction was to always have several hobbies that I enjoyed and could maintain for many years, if not for life. Now that I've been retired for nearly 17 years, that approach seems to have done me some good.

[Accidental Retiree]

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Originally Posted by Rianne This is the better link, click on pictures of the park if interested. Meadow Run Park - Home

That place is amazing.