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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-07-2005, 09:35 AM   #21
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ
"We"* *
Spouse & I, just about every evening, and occasionally the rest of the group of military people she was working with!

Why, whatever else could you have been thinking? Am I missing out on something?!? I'm going to have to go ask my wife... or maybe Neil Bush...
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-07-2005, 10:25 AM   #22
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

I do think that many elderly have a very hard time after their spouse dies. Death of a spouse is often number one on a variety of "stress scales." http://www.teachhealth.com/#stressscale

A friend of mine's father died and his mother, in otherwise good health, had a heart attack on hearing the news. My father had a minor heart attack right after my mother died.

In the retirement community my FIL lived in, you would often see surviving spouses struggle both with their health and financially after a spouse died.

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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-07-2005, 12:46 PM   #23
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
Spouse & I, just about every evening, and occasionally the rest of the group of military people she was working with!

Why, whatever else could you have been thinking? Am I missing out on something?!? I'm going to have to go ask my wife... or maybe Neil Bush...
Nord, I am assuming you are a somewhat normal couple so I think we may be talking about a different type of oil massage that can be gotten in LOS.
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-07-2005, 04:27 PM   #24
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha
I do think that many elderly have a very hard time after their spouse dies.* Death of a spouse is often number one on a variety of "stress scales."* http://www.teachhealth.com/#stressscale

A friend of mine's father died and his mother, in otherwise good health, had a heart attack on hearing the news.* My father had a minor heart attack right after my mother died.*

In the retirement community my FIL lived in, you would often see surviving spouses struggle both with their health and financially after a spouse died.*

I don't doubt that this is the norm, but I'll bet there are a fair
number who "blossom" after the shock wears off. I think that is a pretty
cool outcome, especially for a spouse who "hung in there"
to the bitter end. That would never include me, as much as I admire it. Too selfish...........too self centered. Still, I can
appreciate seeing it from afar.

JG
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-07-2005, 05:18 PM   #25
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MRGALT2U
I don't doubt that this is the norm, but I'll bet there are a fair
number who "blossom" after the shock wears off.* I think that is a pretty
cool outcome, especially for a spouse who "hung in there"
to the bitter end.* That would never include me, as much as I admire it.* Too selfish...........too self centered.* Still, I can
appreciate seeing it from afar.

JG
Not sure what you are saying here, but if it is what it sounds like, you really must being trying to soften your image here and make all the girls love you. I'll add Empathy Man to Mensa Man in your list of monikers.

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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-07-2005, 05:34 PM   #26
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

I've seen both situations happen, one spouse dies and soon after the other. I've also seen one spouse die and the other get a new lease on life. My aunt is traveling the world, doing things she could never do, her words to me a few months ago were " I have a new freedom and I'm loving it", I said you go auntie and have a great time!!!
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-09-2005, 10:16 AM   #27
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by frayne

What I do worry about is some money grubbing low life putting on a song and dance to marry my beautiful, loving and trusting wife and then leaving her a year or two later, after he's emptied the coffers.

Anyone else have this same concern ?
Frayne,

That reminds me of an old joke... The punchline goes something like:
"Dad, why did you tell all the guys you were dying of AIDS?" "'Cause I didn't want any of them bastards pesterin' yer poor mither."


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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-09-2005, 01:25 PM   #28
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

Any concerns ?
Yeh, since I'll probably remain single, (blessing and curse) I am concerned about who will get my final estate of $53.19, in today's dollars of course.
I want to be remembered as the guy who left a litttle something in the kitty. Besides I wouldn't my last check to bounce unlike some of the financially irresponsible members here.

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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-14-2005, 05:30 AM   #29
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

MJ,

Good thoughts. Assuming theres enough to go around, I say Give With A Warm Hand, and if possible a little something in the kitty.
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-15-2005, 11:13 AM   #30
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha
I do think that many elderly have a very hard time after their spouse dies. Death of a spouse is often number one on a variety of "stress scales." http://www.teachhealth.com/#stressscale

A friend of mine's father died and his mother, in otherwise good health, had a heart attack on hearing the news. My father had a minor heart attack right after my mother died.

In the retirement community my FIL lived in, you would often see surviving spouses struggle both with their health and financially after a spouse died.

That's true for the elderly.

Sometimes it turns out quite well financially for younger people. My bother-in-law's wife passed away 4 years ago. She had taken out a life insurance policy over $1Mil. He is still working just to get medical benefits. The children are receiving over $3K monthly death benefits from the government until they turn 18. This along will cover their college education expenses. It's amasing that the government would pay in lieu of his assets ($1 mil plus rental properties).

I am implying this is a good thing since he and his two children will still have to bear the emotional pain of her death.

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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-15-2005, 12:09 PM   #31
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spanky
That's true for the elderly.

Sometimes it turns out quite well financially for younger people. My bother-in-law's wife passed away 4 years ago. She had taken out a life insurance policy over $1Mil. He is still working just to get medical benefits. The children are receiving over $3K monthly death benefits from the government until they turn 18. This along will cover their college education expenses. It's amasing that the government would pay in lieu of his assets ($1 mil plus rental properties).

I am implying this is a good thing since he and his two children will still have to bear the emotional pain of her death.

The reality is that very few younger families come out this well fiancially. Many of the younger widows/widowers I correspond with do not have it so lucky. Many have one or more children, no life insurance, no job, and lots of bills and debts. SS helps some but it is not enough to raise a family on. Many have to sell the house to get out of the mortgage and use college funds to buy groceries and pay the rent. Even if both spouses worked, living on a single income is difficult when you used to have two. While the elderly are the most likely to be widowed and to have no life insurance, the younger families are no less financially affected; and in many cases worse because of the debts and expenses associated with rasising kids.

There are exceptions to everything. My intent here is keep people thinking about what would really happen to their family after they died. Are they really taken care of to the level needed to maintain their living standard. (No, I do not sell life insurance).
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-15-2005, 05:18 PM   #32
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

Steve,

It's sad that so many families are unprepared to handle this kind of event. No one anticipates to die early, but we should ensure that our spouse and children are covered by adequate amount of insurance or savings.

Spanky
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?
Old 12-16-2005, 10:12 PM   #33
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Re: After you are gone ! Any concerns ?

My only concern is our son if anything happen to me and my spouse at the same time. Though highly unlikely, one can never tell.

On the one hand we do not want him to know how much money we have, we afraid he would be less motivated to be financial independent. On the other hand. we do not have anyone to manage all this until he turn 18. I doubt that if he can manage it by then.

I just hope that it won't come to this.
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