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Old 09-27-2008, 01:20 PM   #21
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Never getting married would probably be hard for me though.
I'm sure that is true for many. I wanted to get married when I was younger, but it just never worked out. Guess I had one of those faces only a mother could love.


But to answer your question, if your happy........what's the problem?



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Old 09-27-2008, 01:26 PM   #22
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I see nothing wrong with being comfortable with one's own company. The year we retired, after a very heavy snowfall we didn't go outside the house for a week. That would drive some people nuts; we thought it was kind of neat.
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Old 09-27-2008, 01:37 PM   #23
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I can't help but see the irony, in sharing one's satisfaction with solitude in an Internet forum...
Might that be better expressed as:

I can't stop seeing the sardonicism in sharing one's satisfaction with solitude on a cybernetic site.
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Old 09-27-2008, 03:05 PM   #24
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I see nothing wrong with being comfortable with one's own company. The year we retired, after a very heavy snowfall we didn't go outside the house for a week. That would drive some people nuts; we thought it was kind of neat.
i agree - holing up during heavy snow IS fun, in an odd way. it makes you realize how nice and warm and snuggly your house really is. and the projects you can get done instead of facing the shovel are a great diversion. or just curling up with a good book in front of a roaring fire and a cup of hot chocolate is paradise. aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
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Old 09-27-2008, 04:47 PM   #25
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Dawg 52, You can still find a mate . Lots of women would love a level headed golf playing guy who belongs to a country club has a cute dog and cares for his mother & aunt . What more would a women want ?
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Old 09-27-2008, 06:03 PM   #26
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Old 09-27-2008, 07:13 PM   #27
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In 1990 when I was 40 I took a years sabbatical do try and discover what I wanted to do when I grew up - what I discovered is that I really liked not working... I've always enjoyed my own company and my hobbies (reading, music, hiking) are such that are mostly enjoyed alone. I discovered after a few weeks though that in fact I missed some interaction with other people. I joined a volunteer group at a local nature park and worked on trails and such with a group of congenial people once a week - Problem solved!. Fast forward to now - been ER'd at our forest mini ranch in SW Oregon for 6 years and find that doing a growers/crafters market for a few hours a week serves the same purpose and works equally well (plus a little extra income doesn't hurt...)
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Old 09-27-2008, 08:10 PM   #28
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I also enjoy solitude and time spent alone. My job is rather unusual in that I work alone much of the time.
My work schedule for my first 15 years was 7 days of afternoon shift, 2 days off, 3 days on day shift, and 2 days off. Another guy worked the same schedule, but just opposite of mine....he on days, me on afternoons....me on days, he on afternoons. So I was all alone on afternoon shifts, and only had interaction with other employees for 3 day shifts, every 2 weeks. I absolutely LOVED it!
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"loneliness is a word to express the pain of being alone...solitude is a word to express the glory of being alone."~~paul tillich, an existentialist theologian, and a bit of a loner lolol.
Thanks, Lazy! That's exactly the quote I was thinking of!
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Old 09-27-2008, 08:22 PM   #29
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My work schedule for my first 15 years was 7 days of afternoon shift, 2 days off, 3 days on day shift, and 2 days off. Another guy worked the same schedule, but just opposite of mine....he on days, me on afternoons....me on days, he on afternoons. So I was all alone on afternoon shifts, and only had interaction with other employees for 3 day shifts, every 2 weeks. I absolutely LOVED it!
With that kind of schedule I might have stuck it out 'til 30 years.
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Old 09-27-2008, 09:11 PM   #30
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Thanks, Lazy! That's exactly the quote I was thinking of!
no prob. i mean not a problem, um, er, you are welcome. (now is it welcome, or welcomed?)

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I hypothesize that the pain of loneliness is one of the major motivators to be social.
see, now, i always thought that's what our sex drive is for.

as much as i enjoy solitude at times, i don't always want to be the only one in the picture


even though i don't have a partner at home


sure, i could have gone out today and found someone to just do me


but sometimes it's fun to enjoy the day with a friend and take each other's pictures


because before today i didn't have a picture of my friend posing with a stranger


sometimes i go to the zoo by myself but today it was nice to have a friend. and for the times that i want company, well, going to the zoo by myself would have just been
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Old 09-27-2008, 10:24 PM   #31
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Dawg 52, You can still find a mate . Lots of women would love a level headed golf playing guy who belongs to a country club has a cute dog and cares for his mother & aunt . What more would a women want ?
A guy with more money than me?
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Old 09-28-2008, 10:00 AM   #32
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With that kind of schedule I might have stuck it out 'til 30 years.
But then after 15 years, they stuck me on straight days, 5 days per week, Monday through Friday, plus every 6th weekend. Then I had to be around all those whiners and complainers the other employees every day....all day....Yuck! Besides, I wasn't a 'morning person'....my idea of getting up early was around 8am.....I had to start getting up at 5:30am...Yuck! Thank goodness that I've been able to overcome that evil habit, and get back onto the path of righteousness......now once again, I'm able to consider 8am to be getting up early!
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Old 09-28-2008, 12:06 PM   #33
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I'm sure that is true for many. I wanted to get married when I was younger, but it just never worked out. Guess I had one of those faces only a mother could love.
Hey, I've heard that hot chicks love dawgs...
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Old 09-28-2008, 02:07 PM   #34
 
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I also prefer my own company. Since I retired 5 years ago I have been able to to do what I want when I want. I would rather be on the computer, reading or puttering in the gardens then interact with people. The many web groups that I belong to satisfy my socializing needs. When we do socialize I have no problem enjoying myself I would just rather be home alone. I prefer going to see a movie alone too. Since my wife also prefers being alone we are quite compatible. I've never felt any need to explain myself to anyone, it's my life to do with what I wish.
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Old 09-28-2008, 05:34 PM   #35
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... I read all the stuff about having close friends can extend your life and wonder what I am missing.
Well when we are dead we are really going to be sorry! Bill, sounds like you are a well adjusted guy like me .
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Old 09-28-2008, 05:43 PM   #36
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... so go make friends. the worst that can happen is they'll rip your heart out.
Lazy, thanks for sharing all of those experiences with us. Sounds like you are still hurting. I think for guys there are fewer chances to become real close friends so we have fewer good/bad experiences to relate. I've noticed that guys my own age tend to shy away from making new friends -- or maybe they just think I'm too weird or uninteresting or whatever.

Other then my wife, I don't think I've had a "best" friend, just friends that are nice to talk once in awhile. I enjoy the occasional conversation with strangers like when I take a stretch break at the small lake I run to. Sometimes a 5 minute conversation is all I need other then interactions with DW and DD (12 year old blind Corgi).
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Old 09-28-2008, 10:21 PM   #37
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My wife is my very best friend, and I suppose there is one guy I consider a very close friend, and one guy who I would call a best friend. But, one of these guys is in the US, one is in Australia, and I am in Asia, so its not like we see each other or even get to speak with each other that often. I suppose though that I could also me considered to be a "loner" as I don't "enjoy" socializing with people I am not already very close to. In my work circumstance, it is often required that I participate in a variety of social events...I am pretty good at participating, but I get absolutely no enjoyment out of it.

Honestly, when I think of ER, I think of the solitude and how much I will enjoy it. I do enjoy helping people, so I will probably do some volunteer work, but only things that don't demand a lot of social interaction...that would be too much like my current w*rk. If I had to do that, I'd rather keep working and getting paid for it.

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Old 09-29-2008, 01:18 AM   #38
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I am in Lazy's camp (seems to be the minority, at least on this thread). I can stay home all day, but I prefer to be with a friend. For me, it's just more fun to enjoy and share good things with someone else. It can be a weakness. When I travel alone, I feel an intense desire to meet people and make friends, just to hear their stories. But often that takes courage and initiative, and I was raised to be a shy person who feels that she SHOULDN'T approach others for friendship. Beautiful places only intensify that longing for companionship.

Boy I must have listened to too much opera this weekend.
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Old 09-29-2008, 09:17 AM   #39
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I FIREed four years ago or I guess semi-FIREed four years ago. I am 55, have a great DW, married over 30 years and have two grown kids. I enjoy being with people, talking to people and most all social settings. But, I also enjoy just being by myself. My DW is still working and is gone by the time I get up. I can spend the whole day, just hanging around the house, by myself and I have a great time. I sometimes think to myself that I am as happy as a pig in (the stuff pigs like to be happy in). I have friends, but none that I would call close friends. I read all the stuff about having close friends can extend your life and wonder what I am missing. I drove across the country, by myself and I really had a good time. I go to a local coffee shop, twice a week, by myself and read the paper. I have a great time. Am I crazy or just different or maybe a little of both. I think I have a very good self-worth attitude about myself, if that is what you call it. Are there any other folks out there that just enjoy life on their one lane road?

PS: When the DW if not working we spend time together, do things together and enjoy being together. So there is not a problem there, as far as I know.

I expect there are a lot of introverts on this board. You can count me as one. I enjoy my freedom. I Ride a Harley by myself, love the freedom, although I do stop for the required coffees to chat, I just don't like the group riding thing. I think many introverts take strength from within. Sounds like you have it together.

Balance is the key. It only becomes a problem when you start to hole up in your house and shun social interaction. This doesn’t appear to be a problem for you.
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Old 09-29-2008, 10:11 AM   #40
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I expect there are a lot of introverts on this board.
Yep, I'm starting to think that there may be some strong correlation between ERs (and those striving to do so) and some large degree of introversion (loners). Maybe it's more a correlation with those who LBTM and other related values that lead to ER. Interesting.
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