An ex-coworker's unwanted e-mail

[Nords]

When I ER'd six years ago I kept in touch with a few coworkers. One of them, now 65, just retired and is still settling into his new lifestyle.

While he was working I'd get a few e-mails a week on workplace events, jokes, and whatever else piqued his interest. He shotguns a list and doesn't expect replies. Most of his e-mails weren't worth reading any longer than it took to click on the "Delete" button, but every 10th or 20th one I enjoyed seeing his family pictures or reading about growing up in territorial Hawaii.

Then he started e-mailing urban legends, so I pointed him to Snopes.com and suggested that he didn't have to keep me on his group list. He got a bit huffy, said that he was just talking story, and that he'd be happy to hear from me once in a while. I'm still on his list.

Now that he's retired, what used to be "a few a week" has become "several times a day". He's still propagating urban legends but they've escalated to computer scams, terrorist conspiracies, and pictures of ugly rat tumors. I'm also getting old-phart jokes, dozens of YouTube videos, and plenty of political diatribes. Most of his subject lines resemble the topic titles used by a couple members of this board who repetitively post alarmist rants.

I still hit the "Delete" button, although now I hardly even open the e-mails. But I'm tired of the perpetual assault and I feel ambushed whenever I open one of them. The signal/noise ratio has dropped well below 1/100, I've about used up my "just ignore it" patience, and I'm ready to politely ask him to drop me from his group e-mail address list. He's a nice guy who only lives 20 miles away but we haven't bothered to even phone each other in nearly six years, let alone get together. He's just an old co-worker who happened to stay in touch, and that's no longer a good thing. He doesn't appear willing to change, and it seems to be time to move on.

Anyone had to deal with a similar situation? Any other ideas?

 

[Notmuchlonger]

No, and I be interested in any advice too . Cripes I have relatives that do the same thing with the email worthless crap bombardment.

 

[REWahoo]

Anyone had to deal with a similar situation? Any other ideas?

Yep. I put my old friends email address on my spam filter and never looked back. If by some accident I run into him and get asked about his emails, I can always tell him the truth: "For some reason I'm not getting them."

 

[jIMOh]

Be firm and ask to be removed from his list.

If it gets worse, tell his e-mail/ ISP provider.

 

[RetiredGypsy]

Don't you have a "this is spam" option in your email?

 

[Khan]

When I ER'd six years ago I kept in touch with a few coworkers. One of them, now 65, just retired and is still settling into his new lifestyle.

While he was working I'd get a few e-mails a week on workplace events, jokes, and whatever else piqued his interest. He shotguns a list and doesn't expect replies. Most of his e-mails weren't worth reading any longer than it took to click on the "Delete" button, but every 10th or 20th one I enjoyed seeing his family pictures or reading about growing up in territorial Hawaii.

Then he started e-mailing urban legends, so I pointed him to Snopes.com and suggested that he didn't have to keep me on his group list. He got a bit huffy, said that he was just talking story, and that he'd be happy to hear from me once in a while. I'm still on his list.

Now that he's retired, what used to be "a few a week" has become "several times a day". He's still propagating urban legends but they've escalated to computer scams, terrorist conspiracies, and pictures of ugly rat tumors. I'm also getting old-phart jokes, dozens of YouTube videos, and plenty of political diatribes. Most of his subject lines resemble the topic titles used by a couple members of this board who repetitively post alarmist rants.

I still hit the "Delete" button, although now I hardly even open the e-mails. But I'm tired of the perpetual assault and I feel ambushed whenever I open one of them. The signal/noise ratio has dropped well below 1/100, I've about used up my "just ignore it" patience, and I'm ready to politely ask him to drop me from his group e-mail address list. He's a nice guy who only lives 20 miles away but we haven't bothered to even phone each other in nearly six years, let alone get together. He's just an old co-worker who happened to stay in touch, and that's no longer a good thing. He doesn't appear willing to change, and it seems to be time to move on.

Anyone had to deal with a similar situation? Any other ideas?

Personally, I would put him on the spam list.

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Some mail servers have auto-reply. If that can be applied to certain "From" contents, you would use it to say, "The number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please hang up and try again" then filter his email to the junk folder.

 

[GoodSense]

Some emails have spam filters or ignore lists. If you are certain you don't want to see any email from him anymore, check your email options to see if you can put his email in the "ignore" list.

Good luck!

 

[Eagle43]

Tell him, firmly and politely. Once.

I think if you're firm enough, he'll stop. If not, block him. You don't phone, visit, surf or otherwise socialize? Not much lost, even if he gets huffy.

 

[theloneranger]

No problem. Put his/her name on the do not receive list and put his/her email on junk mailing lists.

 

[youbet]

Most of his subject lines resemble the topic titles used by a couple members of this board who repetitively post alarmist rants.

I was thinking just that as I read your post......

 

[W2R]

I vote for the spam filter. I have done this to people when they won't stop sending me junk e-mails like that, if I have already politely asked them to remove me and it didn't work.

I have no idea what possesses some people but I do know that unwanted e-mail is spam.

 

[SteveR]

I would send him a nice but firm email asking him to stop because you have seen it all before and you don't have the time to weed out your in box all day. If he continues I would put him on your spam filter and be done with him. Enough is enough.

My FIL does the same thing. I just never respond this his urban legends and other stuff and he has slowed down a lot. I guess it is no fun sending these out if nobody comments on all your hard work.

 

[aworkingrachel]

I'd just block his e-mail address. I'm probably a little too quick to "cut people out," but someone annoying who you haven't gotten together with in six years? Definitely time for the heave-ho.

 

[Caroline]

My first reaction was just to block him, as has been suggested.

On further consideration, I think you could ask him nicely but firmly, and THEN block him.

There are a million of these guys out these folks out there -- maybe letting them know how you feel will do the rest of his vict... er... long-suffering friends a favor.

Probably not, but hope springs eternal.

 

[Achiever51]

Since he's not someone you want to keep as a friend, I wouldn't even bother to ask him to stop sending the unwanted emails. Like others have said, either block his e-mail address and/or mark his messages as "spam".

Kinda like standing at the trash basket while going thru the mail, huh?

 

[ladelfina]

Since you've already mentioned it, I wouldn't bother writing again; that obviously won't work.. just conduct his mail automatically to the junk folder (or to a folder with his name on it that you can open if you choose, then skim and bulk delete).

 

[Goonie]

I had an old friend that used to send me a half ton of worthless email everyday! I hinted several times that I'd prefer that he'd skip sending that [-]crapola[/-] sort of thing to me, but it did NO good at all. In fact, if anything, he started sending MORE junk. Then I set up my email program to send an 'auto-reply' that read something like "Due to security issues, these type email messages are know longer accepted by this recipient.".....I also set up the email program to auto-delete his email. He phoned me a few days after I set things up that way, and proceeded to [-]cuss me out[/-] express his disapproval of my actions....he was very p*ssed off and offended, and let me know about it in no uncertain terms.

I told him that I enjoyed getting normal, personal email from him (or anyone), but I didn't like being the recipient of anyone's junk mail or spam list. He said "Fine! You'll never hear from me again!"....and he slammed down the phone! That was about 10 years ago........and he's kept his word! I called him a couple of times, and was told by his family members that he refused to come to the phone to talk to me. Oh well......life goes on!

As for email from former co-workers......I never hear from them! That may be due to the fact that they send stuff to one of my now-defunct email addresses!

 

[poboy]

Mailwasher link

I use this free program and am quite pleased. List of my emails without opening outlook express. I can block, delete, bounce or blacklist senders.

 

[jIMOh]

Another idea- spam the spammer-

make a rule within your e-mail program to reply to him when he sends you something. In the auto reply, run a script which puts some off topic comment in the body of the e-mail. Then when he e-mails you to stop, he gets an autoresponse.

One guy at work does this with his signature (a script changes every signature in his e-mail with a different joke). I am sure things like this are available, otr you could pay a college student 2 cases of beer to do it for you.

 

[RonBoyd]

it seems to be time to move on.

Anyone had to deal with a similar situation? Any other ideas?

Of Course. And way too often.

To One and all of my Good E-mail buds: As the holidays approach, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)

I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email tracking program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician....

 

[saluki9]

I had a guy who was pitching us this investment data service at work a couple years ago. He wouldn't stop sending us new proposals, calling, etc even after we asked several times.

Eventually I got fed up and sent a message to the Jehovah Witnesses with his name, address, and direct number asking for more information. That pretty much put an end to it for us.

 

[RonBoyd]

Any other ideas?

This sometimes works. (Not often enough, however.)

I receive about 1,200 e-mails a week (very few of which are unwanted -- SPAM). That is well over a hundred each day (however, the weekends are pretty sparse). As a consequence, one of the things I, regretfully, must forego is most “chitchat.” It is not that I don’t enjoy it, it is that, with the number of people I communicate with, I never get one copy of a joke but am sent hundreds of duplicates-- In any event, the above mentioned 1,200 is just about my limit. Therefore, the chances of me actually reading that variety of e-mail are very remote and replying to them is completely out of the question.

Now, having said that. I welcome the opportunity to exchange e-mails with you on a wide variety of subjects. You will find me a most chatty person (perhaps even a pest). I am, nevertheless, very focused most times but I do enjoy life and have lots of fun with it.

 

[unclemick]

I had a guy who was pitching us this investment data service at work a couple years ago. He wouldn't stop sending us new proposals, calling, etc even after we asked several times.

Eventually I got fed up and sent a message to the Jehovah Witnesses with his name, address, and direct number asking for more information. That pretty much put an end to it for us.

Not JW - but another missionary group - last quarter in college, my room mate Dan called them up and give them a load of bunkum(they had a radio program).

Where ever I went -for the next ten yrs or so - Reverend Mick got mail!

I had forgotten - thanks Dan.

heh heh heh - he is retired in Northern Cal.

 

[CuppaJoe]

An old co-worker would break into "dumb blonde" jokes every time I came within earshot. Since my hair is brown I was too dumb to realize she was baiting me. After we both went off to different locations, the blonde jokes came in by e-mail. One day she called me, said she lost my e-mail address, would I give it to her again. Sure, I would send her an e-mail so she would have it; but the dumb blonde in me forgot.

I wanted to end two relationships at the end of '06. Until April '07 I watched their forwarded e-mails and multiple recipient e-mails about their kids and grands. Both of them never accepted my invitations so I stopped accepting their's; others told me they never accepted their invitations either. Neither one ever wrote anything along the lines of: what's new, how's it going, so I had nothing to respond to. I went straight to blocking their e-mails because I enjoy weeding thru the spam--some good stuff shows up there and I didn't want to see their e-mail addresses again. The day after X-mas one of them sent me an e-mail from another address and new computer, said she had donated some money in my name. I thanked her instantly but didn't give any news about myself or mutual acquaintances. I take the donation as acknowledgement that the relationship is over. I'd rather be "dead to her" than continue the nonsense.