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Old 10-14-2008, 08:30 PM   #21
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Posted this 09-05-2008:

Who am I?
==============================================
Hard to put this in words: I am having difficulty self-referencing to my previous self.
I look at stuff I wrote years ago and I can't identify with that persona; it seems to be someone I do not know.
Can I create a new construct as I please?
yes you can. i am in the 4th year of doing this for myself. it is a challenge, it is exciting. done properly, it can be enlightening and productive. it can be a good sign to re-invent yourself, whether the impetus is voluntarily or involuntarily. the basic character of the person remains, but the trappings of a past life are often left behind in the changeling process. just keep YOUR hands firmly on YOUR steering wheel.
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Old 10-15-2008, 10:01 AM   #22
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We sure aren't a mystical group, are we.

I have distinct memories of kindergarten. I feel like I am the same person now as I was then. But then again, I can read things I wrote years ago and hardly recognize myself.

Am-ness is interesting but I never get far thinking about it.
That brought back some memories:
"Does not work and play well with others."
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Old 10-15-2008, 01:04 PM   #23
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That brought back some memories:
"Does not work and play well with others."
"Talks too much."
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Old 10-15-2008, 02:11 PM   #24
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"Daydreams too much."
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Old 10-15-2008, 02:25 PM   #25
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"Reads other books during reading class."
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The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
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Old 10-15-2008, 02:36 PM   #26
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"Talks too much."
Not in class.

Quote:
"Daydreams too much."
Guilty. I figured if I all ready knew what they wanted to teach, why should I pay attention?

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"Reads other books during reading class."
Guilty. See above.
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Old 10-15-2008, 02:54 PM   #27
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DW was shocked to find one of my grade school report cards. On the back there were all sorts of conduct related items with a box for each quarter in which the teacher put a check mark if there were problems. My report card was a blizzard of checks. Many boxes had 3 red checks in them. I had fun in school in those pre-Ritalin days. With proper meds, who knows, maybe I would be at Goldman Sacks.
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Old 10-15-2008, 04:55 PM   #28
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"Talks too much."
My favorite was on my sister's report card: "Does not keep her hands to home."
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A disclaimer and reassurance
Old 10-15-2008, 05:09 PM   #29
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A disclaimer and reassurance

These questions and observations I come up with are not causing great anguish to me and are not precursors of dangerous behavior.

They bubble up and I find them interesting to discuss as I try to figure out who I am or could be.
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Old 10-15-2008, 05:38 PM   #30
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These questions and observations I come up with are not causing great anguish to me and are not precursors of dangerous behavior
I wouldn't think so...

In an earlier thread, you said you became a bit more outgoing, and happier. Would a little travel do some good?

By the way, I had very few friends in school and was a loner in college. And this is the first and only forum I frequent, leave alone post.
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Old 10-15-2008, 05:47 PM   #31
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My sons Kindergarten teacher told me with all seriousness as I was sitting in a tiny chair that I should be concerned because My son could not skip . I had all I could do to not laugh out loud .
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Old 10-15-2008, 05:54 PM   #32
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I wouldn't think so...

In an earlier thread, you said you became a bit more outgoing, and happier. Would a little travel do some good?
I can't do extended travel, as long as the cat is around. A few weeks ago I did take a trip to Cincinnati (~60 miles) for an social gathering.

Quote:
By the way, I had very few friends in school and was a loner in college. And this is the first and only forum I frequent, leave alone post.
I'm not sure what the definition of 'friend' is or if I have ever had any. High school was miserable (class nerd), college was much better.

Throughout my life I have felt like an outsider (an alien anthropologist*) observing my behavior (and others').

Even now, with these changes, I feel like an observer.

*Amazon.com: An Anthropologist On Mars: Seven Paradoxical Tales: Oliver Sacks: Books
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Old 10-15-2008, 06:01 PM   #33
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Being a long-time forum member, don't you have some fellow members you call friends? I guess there are different levels of friendship.

I no longer have any close friend I can share my feelings. But then I already have my wife of 28 years, and even so, I do not feel the need to share every of my feelings. We are not teenagers anymore.
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Old 10-15-2008, 06:14 PM   #34
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Being a long-time forum member, don't you have some fellow members you call friends? I guess there are different levels of friendship.
As I said, it depends on definitions. In some ways I do consider various internet acquaintances to be friends (and have actually met a few)

Quote:
I no longer have any close friend I can share my feelings. But then I already have my wife of 28 years, and even so, I do not feel the need to share every of my feelings. We are not teenagers anymore.
Not sure where I would be without the internet in my ability to interact/communicate.
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Old 10-15-2008, 06:43 PM   #35
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a friend is someone in whom you trust to confide even while knowing they can betray you.

"a friend is someone who knows your faults but likes you anyway."~~saying

"one loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."~~euripides

"friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together"~~woodrow wilson

"the only way to have a friend is to be one"~~ralph waldo emerson

"the bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship."~~william blake

"no man is useless while he has a friend."~~robert luis stevnson

"a true friend stabs you in the front"~~oscar wilde

"with every friend i love who has taken into the brown bosom of the earth, a part of me has been buried there; but their contribution to my being of happiness, strength and understanding remains to sustain me in an altered world."~~helen keller

"what is a friend? a single soul in two bodies"~~aristotle

"the most i can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. i have no wealth to bestow on him. if he knows that i am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. is not friendship divine in this?"~~henry david thoreau

"in the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."~~martin luther king jr.

"friendship with oneself is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world."~~eleanor roosevelt

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Old 10-15-2008, 07:18 PM   #36
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Khan-

A couple questions, if I may:

1- Do you ever feel that you are living in a slightly different time frame than everyone else?

2- Is there a feeling that other people's reality is not quite real?

3- Is it possible that your low degree of personal intimacy is due to a fear of being disappointed?

4-Why do you suppose, given your low degree of socializing/friendships, that your internet posting is rather prolific?
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Old 10-15-2008, 07:42 PM   #37
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Khan-

A couple questions, if I may:

1- Do you ever feel that you are living in a slightly different time frame than everyone else?
Not sure what you mean.

Quote:
2- Is there a feeling that other people's reality is not quite real?
Real to them, not real to me.

Quote:
3- Is it possible that your low degree of personal intimacy is due to a fear of being disappointed?
Have been disappointed, betrayed, and (figuratively) smacked down. I have no ego left and now take things at face value.

Quote:
4-Why do you suppose, given your low degree of socializing/friendships, that your internet posting is rather prolific?
I don't speak or interact very well, on line I can backup edit and research as necessary.

On line mostly takes the place of actual.

In 'real life' I have been having more personal social contacts; I can take them at my own pace and choice. Personal interactions aren't a problem if I choose them.
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Old 10-16-2008, 08:45 AM   #38
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I have one very best friend who has been my friend since college days. I tend towards introversion and she is very extroverted. It makes for a good friendship match. I wonder how well it would work for two introverts to be good friends.
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Old 10-16-2008, 09:12 AM   #39
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I go from being extroverted to introverted.....found out I am a HSP (highly sensitive person) which explains a lot about me. I went through life only having one friend....until drinking took over my life and the entire bar was my friend!
Today, things are different....I have a few friends, but I prefer to be alone at home learning and posting on forums. Most of the people I know don't like being alone and delving into the nooks and cranies of their self.
It seems to me that you are really sitting down with yourself and getting in touch with the intangible rather than the tangible aspects of so called "reality".
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Old 10-16-2008, 01:16 PM   #40
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I can't do extended travel, as long as the cat is around. A few weeks ago I did take a trip to Cincinnati (~60 miles) for an social gathering.

...

Even now, with these changes, I feel like an observer.

*Amazon.com: An Anthropologist On Mars: Seven Paradoxical Tales: Oliver Sacks: Books
I have never read a book on psychology or anthropology. I should start reading this genre, to expand my geeky horizon. Being introspective, I have always tried to understand myself. About outward looking, I thought I am empathic, but am I really, still trying to understand myself.

I would put the cat in animal care for a short time, and go see Venice (before it sinks), or Pompeii so see how such an advanced society (running water, sidewalks, bakeries and butcher shops at street corners when the rest of Europe was mostly barbaric) could get wiped out by a Black Swan.

I have been trying to enjoy life more, and not getting too uptight about stuff like politics. Life's too short. I don't know about doing good deeds to society, but I have always tried my best to avoid causing harm.

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Not sure where I would be without the internet in my ability to interact/communicate.
Even hermits need to converse with another hermit, eh? I always thought of myself as one, but am not sure anymore. Now, Nords referred to his wife and himself as hermits! That's surprising... I guess, same as friendships, there are different levels of, er, hermitness...
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