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Old 10-16-2008, 02:10 PM   #41
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Not sure where I would be without the internet in my ability to interact/communicate.

Even hermits need to converse with another hermit, eh? I always thought of myself as one, but am not sure anymore. Now, Nords referred to his wife and himself as hermits! That's surprising... I guess, same as friendships, there are different levels of, er, hermitness...
I retired as of 31 Dec 2004, and started posting on E-R.org in Aug 2006; more than a year and a half of 'destressing' and 'dehermiting' and noticing the changes in myself.

From the weight loss thread ( It's Wednesday weigh ins! ) :
It's Wednesday weigh ins!
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Old 10-16-2008, 04:47 PM   #42
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Oh my! From 215# to 135#!

I am sure the weightloss companies would want more examples as yourself to advertise their products, whether you used theirs or not :-)

Congratulations! By the way, I needed to shed a few pounds but it was tough. Had to prep for a colonoscopy and lost 3-4 pounds in two days. Have been able to keep those off and then some. BMI from 25.4 down to 24. Been skinny all my life, but still, blood pressure improves with this little weight loss, just like my doctor said.

Or is it because I am more relaxed now, "knowing" the market is near the bottom already? This happened in the last bear market too. We took our 1st European trip in Feb 2003, when our portfolio was decimated, and I did not have a job. Came back refreshed. Life has been good, and I am grateful...
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Old 10-16-2008, 05:01 PM   #43
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Oh my! From 215# to 135#!
I have been at 135 for about a year now.

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Congratulations! By the way, I needed to shred a few pounds but it was tough. Had to prep for a colonoscopy and lost 3-4 pounds in two days. Have been able to keep those off and then some. BMI from 25.4 down to 24. Been skinny all my life, but still, blood pressure improves with this little weight loss, just like my doctor said.
My BP went from 176/96 to 120/70.
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Old 10-16-2008, 07:36 PM   #44
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Wow Khan, Congratulations on your weight loss .
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Old 10-17-2008, 11:56 AM   #45
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Khan,

Your weight loss story is inspirational! I'm on a similar road myself, albeit at the very beginning. I like to hear stories of those who have succeeded before me (a lot of the appeal of this forum in general, as it turns out).

I'm not as far down the experiential road as many of the posters here, but I think that our 'am-ness' is a fluid construct that develops (and sheds) layers over time. I read some diary entries from when I was in junior high -- good grief, why had I held onto such drivel? Because, I realize, that awkward girl was still me, though a layer of me I've tried to shed (with middling success).

Our physical bodies are also a huge part of our am-ness (as I suspect anyone who's had an alteration in their body would testify -- paraplegics and amputees come to mind, but chronic illness also changes that perception). Khan, you've just become a smaller person. Might that also affect your feeling of who you are?

Nords, I had to laugh about the "reading other books during reading class." Mine was "reads books during all classes." I even tried during shop and art. My teachers finally just let it go as long as I kept getting good grades.
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Old 10-17-2008, 12:30 PM   #46
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Khan,

Your weight loss story is inspirational! I'm on a similar road myself, albeit at the very beginning. I like to hear stories of those who have succeeded before me (a lot of the appeal of this forum in general, as it turns out).

I'm not as far down the experiential road as many of the posters here, but I think that our 'am-ness' is a fluid construct that develops (and sheds) layers over time. I read some diary entries from when I was in junior high -- good grief, why had I held onto such drivel? Because, I realize, that awkward girl was still me, though a layer of me I've tried to shed (with middling success).

Our physical bodies are also a huge part of our am-ness (as I suspect anyone who's had an alteration in their body would testify -- paraplegics and amputees come to mind, but chronic illness also changes that perception). Khan, you've just become a smaller person. Might that also affect your feeling of who you are?
Definitely. As was mentioned: that fat was a barrier. I have let down that barrier and several others (mostly mental).

I am still getting to know this body; several months ago, I realized I could cross my legs.

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Nords, I had to laugh about the "reading other books during reading class." Mine was "reads books during all classes." I even tried during shop and art. My teachers finally just let it go as long as I kept getting good grades.
I was the same, especially during art and music class (I have absolutely no talent in either field). I figured that as long as I was quiet and could pass the tests, I should be allowed to read (a lot of science fiction); some teachers had a problem with this, others didn't.
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Old 10-17-2008, 12:39 PM   #47
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I have been at 135 for about a year now.
My BP went from 176/96 to 120/70.
now that is a phenomenal change. congratulations! i'll bet you feel better physically in your feet, back, joints etc. and that lowered blood pressure is definitely worth some bragging rights. wooohooooooo!
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Old 10-17-2008, 02:57 PM   #48
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now that is a phenomenal change. congratulations! i'll bet you feel better physically in your feet, back, joints etc. and that lowered blood pressure is definitely worth some bragging rights. wooohooooooo!
A different kind of book report: philosophy

Anyone feel better in retirement ?

stress health retirement

Anyone feel better in retirement ?
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Old 10-17-2008, 05:15 PM   #49
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Okay, Khan, I think your improvements are wonderful---but less gray hair (per the last link from 2007)? How is that possible? Isn't gray hair mostly due to genetics and not really stress? And once it starts, doesn't it increase or at least remain the same, rather than reverse?
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Old 10-17-2008, 05:27 PM   #50
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Okay, Khan, I think your improvements are wonderful---but less gray hair (per the last link from 2007)? How is that possible? Isn't gray hair mostly due to genetics and not really stress? And once it starts, doesn't it increase or at least remain the same, rather than reverse?
I have no idea. It was merely my subjective observation.
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Old 10-17-2008, 06:46 PM   #51
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but less gray hair (per the last link from 2007)? How is that possible? Isn't gray hair mostly due to genetics and not really stress? And once it starts, doesn't it increase or at least remain the same, rather than reverse?
i can help here. it's not your imagination, Khan. i went thru tremendous stress when an extreme tragedy happened in my life 4 yrs ago. i developed a lot more grey hair than had been present prior to high stress period. my hair is jet black, so the increased grey hair under duress was very noticable to friends.
these days i still have some grey hair, but not like before. my hair has settled into an attractive touch of salt and pepper at the temples. conclusion - stress can do funny things to your body.
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Old 10-17-2008, 06:55 PM   #52
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i can help here. it's not your imagination, Khan. i went thru tremendous stress when an extreme tragedy happened in my life 4 yrs ago. i developed a lot more grey hair than had been present prior to high stress period. my hair is jet black, so the increased grey hair under duress was very noticable to friends.
these days i still have some grey hair, but not like before. my hair has settled into an attractive touch of salt and pepper at the the temples. conclusion - stress can do funny things to your body.
Same here, grey at the edges and holding.

Just to add: went to the dentist for six month cleaning/inspection back in September. The dentist and hygienist just kept remarking on the improvement in my teeth/gums; the dentist agreed that stress can do weird things.
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Old 10-17-2008, 07:29 PM   #53
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Same here, grey at the edges and holding.

Just to add: went to the dentist for six month cleaning/inspection back in September. The dentist and hygienist just kept remarking on the improvement in my teeth/gums; the dentist agreed that stress can do weird things.
Just to add something.

Last month, while I was without electricity and was posting from the library, I ran into a former coworker (he's still working); he wasn't sure it was me at first glance. I told him I had lost 80# and he asked if he would lose 80# after retiring (March 2009) (he is fat). I said: "It's possible."
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Old 10-19-2008, 11:31 AM   #54
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I wonder how well it would work for two introverts to be good friends.
We've known each other for almost 30 years and been married for over 22 of them.

By "hermits" I don't mean that we perpetually fear human contact or find it painful, although we've certainly had weeks like that. I just mean that we're more than capable of entertaining ourselves for long periods of time without the company of others. (In my case that requires a stack of books or a broadband connection. And a longboard.) The "Caring for Your Introvert" article said it best-- not disliking other people but finding them so tiring. We frequently refer to our daughter as "The Tropical Storm Kid", and she was chagrined to find that her named hurricane was retired as an extraordinarily disruptive & destructive phenomenon. Not that we chose her name for that reason, but we could have.

Spouse will usually return from a volunteer gig having had quite enough human contact for the rest of the month. I feel the same way after extended meetings or even large social occasions. Unless they involve surfing...
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Old 10-19-2008, 12:35 PM   #55
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Throughout my life I have felt like an outsider (an alien anthropologist*) observing my behavior (and others').

Even now, with these changes, I feel like an observer.
This part stuck out for me, because I'm much the same way. I've always had trouble identifying myself as part of a group. Even if I'm in the group, I usually feel that I'm different and not part of the "real" group.

Whether or not Myers-Briggs makes any sense, the vast majority of the INTP profile fits me very closely. (See, I even have trouble saying, "I'm an INTP".)

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The Ti-Ne axis leads to a curious overriding desire to observe from a detached position, indicating the preference for intuitive perception with respect to external things. Since accurate analysis needs to avoid becoming hampered with details or being influenced by the actions of others, the INTP invariably seeks to withdraw, at least in spirit, from the situation being considered. This detachment can sometimes be so marked that he will readily see himself as a neutral observer having no personal association with that going on around him (unless forced to become directly involved through an attack on his principles). The INTP enjoys speculating about how a news item (for example) might be received by other people or how a point of view might offend certain types of people and be supported by yet other types; but to have a point of view of his own rarely seems relevant! This also indicates that Feeling is his least developed function. The argument may even be made that "points of view" and "opinions" are irrelevant since only objective truth counts. In reality, INTPs can often become far less objective than they think they ought to be: precisely at those times when the under-developed Feeling gnaws at his being.
An INTP Profile
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Old 10-19-2008, 12:46 PM   #56
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We've known each other for almost 30 years and been married for over 22 of them.

By "hermits" I don't mean that we perpetually fear human contact or find it painful, although we've certainly had weeks like that. I just mean that we're more than capable of entertaining ourselves for long periods of time without the company of others. (In my case that requires a stack of books or a broadband connection. And a longboard.) The "Caring for Your Introvert" article said it best-- not disliking other people but finding them so tiring. We frequently refer to our daughter as "The Tropical Storm Kid", and she was chagrined to find that her named hurricane was retired as an extraordinarily disruptive & destructive phenomenon. Not that we chose her name for that reason, but we could have.

Spouse will usually return from a volunteer gig having had quite enough human contact for the rest of the month. I feel the same way after extended meetings or even large social occasions. Unless they involve surfing...
Much the same for me.

I have slowly changed and do seek out social contact, but I do have no problem with staying at home and not speaking for several days at a time.
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Old 10-19-2008, 01:12 PM   #57
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Throughout my life I have felt like an outsider (an alien anthropologist*) observing my behavior (and others').

Even now, with these changes, I feel like an observer.


This part stuck out for me, because I'm much the same way. I've always had trouble identifying myself as part of a group. Even if I'm in the group, I usually feel that I'm different and not part of the "real" group.

Whether or not Myers-Briggs makes any sense, the vast majority of the INTP profile fits me very closely. (See, I even have trouble saying, "I'm an INTP".)
In my past partially paranoiac phases, I had also experienced variants of 'imposter syndrome': a vague unease that the group I was observing would realize I was a detached observer, and would 'turn on me'.
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